**end of the line**
- Thread starter fsaiidni
- Start date
hillbillylee1
New member
FS happy Holidays.......
fsaiidni
New member
thanx guys, ok...so i over ate a bit last nite...like 200 cals worth--but that's not the point, the point is why...
so i am posting something to the forum that i can't really talk to anyone about in my life...it's just a wierd feeling i have...i'm sure it's nothing but i kinda want to talk to someone about it...and you guys are it =-)
so last night i was having a rough time because i heard that my bf's best friend is jealous of the time i spend w/him, and at times and at times doesn't want me around-normal i know-but i was sitting in on the conversation my bf was having with him and hearing "i know you invite me (my bf) over to the house and say it's just a guys night, when later all the other guys have their gf's over"--doesnt make me feel good-repetition of this for about 30 min's didnt make me feel better.. so when he was done i was on the verge of tears. but he had to go back to work-and he told me to talk to Ben-one of his friends that has become mine as well in the past few weeks--HERE IS WHERE IT GETS COMPLICATED:
Ben is a nice guy, a really innocent guy who has never dated a girl before (we are at the end of college here girls)-and to me that is cute-and he isn't that bad looking either-so i think i have what might be the verge of a puppy crush on him. (ok when i put it that way it doesnt sound too bad) So-i have always felt like it would b awkward if we were to hang out--but i needed someone to talk to about this, and he would be great cause he knows the exact situation (w/ my bf's best friend) and can give me advice about it....SO.....
i call all my gf's-they are all outta town, so i calm the hell down and say hey-he's the last guy friend i have outside of my bf-calm down and be chill... so i ask him to go to coffee w/ me and tell him that my bf said to call him. we go to coffee and i tell him about the situation, he gives me great advice about it and then we just talk for like 3 hrs back and forth about the problem and other stuff in life. I felt like our friendship has grown from friends who just see each other when we are around my bf, to actual friends.
Now I know nothing is wrong with this--but my stupid head always wants to confuse "being nice/a good friend" for "wow-you are datable". Now I love my bf and am very serious about him, he is going to be my hubby one day and i am a devoted gf--but is it normal to feel this way about someone when they are being so nice to you??? PS-HE IS NICE TO EVERYBODY and has never given me ANY idea that he likes me more than just a friend. I feel bad about this-even though i have done nothing more than talked to a friend for 3 hrs (WE DIDNT EVEN HUG AT THE END! it was like a wave and go).
am I a bad person?
so i am posting something to the forum that i can't really talk to anyone about in my life...it's just a wierd feeling i have...i'm sure it's nothing but i kinda want to talk to someone about it...and you guys are it =-)
so last night i was having a rough time because i heard that my bf's best friend is jealous of the time i spend w/him, and at times and at times doesn't want me around-normal i know-but i was sitting in on the conversation my bf was having with him and hearing "i know you invite me (my bf) over to the house and say it's just a guys night, when later all the other guys have their gf's over"--doesnt make me feel good-repetition of this for about 30 min's didnt make me feel better.. so when he was done i was on the verge of tears. but he had to go back to work-and he told me to talk to Ben-one of his friends that has become mine as well in the past few weeks--HERE IS WHERE IT GETS COMPLICATED:
Ben is a nice guy, a really innocent guy who has never dated a girl before (we are at the end of college here girls)-and to me that is cute-and he isn't that bad looking either-so i think i have what might be the verge of a puppy crush on him. (ok when i put it that way it doesnt sound too bad) So-i have always felt like it would b awkward if we were to hang out--but i needed someone to talk to about this, and he would be great cause he knows the exact situation (w/ my bf's best friend) and can give me advice about it....SO.....
i call all my gf's-they are all outta town, so i calm the hell down and say hey-he's the last guy friend i have outside of my bf-calm down and be chill... so i ask him to go to coffee w/ me and tell him that my bf said to call him. we go to coffee and i tell him about the situation, he gives me great advice about it and then we just talk for like 3 hrs back and forth about the problem and other stuff in life. I felt like our friendship has grown from friends who just see each other when we are around my bf, to actual friends.
Now I know nothing is wrong with this--but my stupid head always wants to confuse "being nice/a good friend" for "wow-you are datable". Now I love my bf and am very serious about him, he is going to be my hubby one day and i am a devoted gf--but is it normal to feel this way about someone when they are being so nice to you??? PS-HE IS NICE TO EVERYBODY and has never given me ANY idea that he likes me more than just a friend. I feel bad about this-even though i have done nothing more than talked to a friend for 3 hrs (WE DIDNT EVEN HUG AT THE END! it was like a wave and go).
am I a bad person?
Ohappydaye
New member
No, you're not a bad person. You're human, and a person who was having a rough time and he saw you through it. Its natural to develop feelings for someone that helps you through a traumatic or difficult situation. If you truly love your boyfriend and plan to marry him one day just let the feeling pass. Too many times as girls we mistake "he's super nice" as "I think I want him." He sounds like a great friend.
AmyRB
New member
I agree. Nice guys can be the best kinds of close friends. I have a best friend who happens to be a guy. We tell each other we love each other when we say goodbye. He kisses me on the cheek, and even danced with me at my wedding. My husband adores him and truly appreciates what a great friend he is to me. We have never and will never have intimate feelings for one another. We just really love each other as friends. Cherish this friendship with this guy. AS women, it is easy to appreciate kindness in a man. Good men are hard to find. It looks as if your bf is okay with it too. Don't fret too much about this. Just enjoy having someone there for you. They are also hard to find.
be_gone_soon
New member
I think you ae a great person and you shouldn't worry about being friends. Have a great day and try not to worry!
fsaiidni
New member
THANX SO MUCH GUYS, i think i just need to calm down and not think about it too much-and definitely as you said bmohearn dont make any stupid decisions!!
and you are right amyrb-good men are hard to find! as friends and companions!
ohappy-ya..he is a great guy friend-there when you need him and definitely loyal when it comes to his friends
____________
ok...so i am full of issues-i realized just now why i started feeling depressed and the opposite of motivated this week: THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA- i cant believe i let a damned movie get to me-they called the main character who was a size 6 FAT-AND SHE THEN LOST WEIGHT TO BE A SIZE 4-THEY PROMOTED A SIZE 4 IN THE MOVIE-this PISSES ME OFF!!!! majorly because i remembered the line "today's size six is like yesterday's size 14" then what the hell am i doing trying to get into a size 10?! WTF it makes me feel like no matter what i do to lose weight i won't ever be "good enough" --but that is INSANE-a size ten is just as fine as a size 8 or 12-it's just how i feel and i cant let some damned movie brainwash me into thinking being unhealthy thin is the solution. stupid movie
but now that i know what the problem was, i'm almost back into normal mode with normal motivational levels...so....
FOOD TODAY:
lunch: pluto's salad + sandwich= 600 cals
dinner: tuna + mayo+ salad: 350
and you are right amyrb-good men are hard to find! as friends and companions!
ohappy-ya..he is a great guy friend-there when you need him and definitely loyal when it comes to his friends
____________
ok...so i am full of issues-i realized just now why i started feeling depressed and the opposite of motivated this week: THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA- i cant believe i let a damned movie get to me-they called the main character who was a size 6 FAT-AND SHE THEN LOST WEIGHT TO BE A SIZE 4-THEY PROMOTED A SIZE 4 IN THE MOVIE-this PISSES ME OFF!!!! majorly because i remembered the line "today's size six is like yesterday's size 14" then what the hell am i doing trying to get into a size 10?! WTF it makes me feel like no matter what i do to lose weight i won't ever be "good enough" --but that is INSANE-a size ten is just as fine as a size 8 or 12-it's just how i feel and i cant let some damned movie brainwash me into thinking being unhealthy thin is the solution. stupid movie
but now that i know what the problem was, i'm almost back into normal mode with normal motivational levels...so....
FOOD TODAY:
lunch: pluto's salad + sandwich= 600 cals
dinner: tuna + mayo+ salad: 350
bmohearn
New member
i saw that movie too! i thought it was rediculous. Especially since i am around a size 14! For now of course, i'm trying to lose it... but a size 2 or 4 is rediculous. only 10 year olds can fit into that size! I want to be a size 7 after everything is over. only because i have a really nice pair of 7 jeans that was given to me... and i wish i could fit into them!But if i cant.. i wont really care at all. a size 8 or 10 would make me happy. Dont let the movie get to you... its stupid.. and so you know, models are considered plus size if they are a size 8. And i think thats really skinny. For some reasons they cant have models be a normal weight. I hate it.. and its rediculous.
felici
Well-known member
Definitely this issue doesn't make you a bad person.
You are right to be a bit cautious about your relationship with this guy. However that doesn't mean you can't have a good friendship with him. Sometimes these things don't work but sometimes they're great. I went to a wedding last year where the groom's best"man" was a woman - because she was his best friend. They had all obviously thought through (and in this case talked through), the issues involved and the marriage is totally solid.
You are right to be a bit cautious about your relationship with this guy. However that doesn't mean you can't have a good friendship with him. Sometimes these things don't work but sometimes they're great. I went to a wedding last year where the groom's best"man" was a woman - because she was his best friend. They had all obviously thought through (and in this case talked through), the issues involved and the marriage is totally solid.
fsaiidni
New member
hey guys, so last nite i was so stupid and decided to get drunk-this is my next milestone-to get drunk without eating the entire house out...will work on it but...
i was very bad last nite-i had 5 pieces of garlic bread (for dinner) then...i had 8 veggie wontons and a cup full of stuffing...=-(--overall i think with garlic bread being dinner I had 500 xtra calories-BUT-i didnt go to yoga OR the gym...stupid stupid me...
must not make yesterday a gain...so i will pretend that the stuffing was an early breakfast and do both yoga and the gym today--hoping to burn off calories and make me unstupid
as for the drunken munchies-my inhibitions are lowered when i get drunk and i believe i revert back to a state of "i want to feel good-feed me" why can't I silence that voice and convince myself that food won't make me feel better?!
_____
FOOD:
lunch: brownie + salad = 450 cals
i was very bad last nite-i had 5 pieces of garlic bread (for dinner) then...i had 8 veggie wontons and a cup full of stuffing...=-(--overall i think with garlic bread being dinner I had 500 xtra calories-BUT-i didnt go to yoga OR the gym...stupid stupid me...
must not make yesterday a gain...so i will pretend that the stuffing was an early breakfast and do both yoga and the gym today--hoping to burn off calories and make me unstupid
as for the drunken munchies-my inhibitions are lowered when i get drunk and i believe i revert back to a state of "i want to feel good-feed me" why can't I silence that voice and convince myself that food won't make me feel better?!
_____
FOOD:
lunch: brownie + salad = 450 cals
Last edited:
mishi
New member
I have the same issue! I am actually severly limiting my drinking because I can't afford the extra calories that are just in the liquor and the more I have the more I want. 2 light beers are my limit and even then I leave all snacky things except veggies alone. I actually have to have them out of my sight and the healthy snacky things within reach!
be_gone_soon
New member
Tomorrow a new day and you WILL do better!! Chin up girl, we all have our moments!!
be_gone_soon
New member
Good morning!! Hope all is well!!
fsaiidni
New member
Hey guys, just wanted to drop in and update real quick, today is the last day bfr i'm on vacation from work for a week-it'll be nice! anyways, last nite had about 1100 cals and did yoga, ditched the gym tho-so i'm going to do both today-dont wanna screw up before the last weigh in!!! alritey, ttyltr!