"I'm such an emotional eater"....I've read that statement a couple of dozen times. Always with the undercurrent: "There's something wrong with me". I used to think it myself. It was the reason I often used to postpone starting a weight loss plan, my excuse for getting derailed in the midst of weight loss, and one of my reasons for regaining weight. "'I've just got so much going on in my life right now". Happy, sad, angry, stressed, bored, scared or relieved - for every emotion my mind seemed to have the same solution: "eat something".
I starting learning to associate food with comfort/reward the first time somebody said "good girl" and gave me a cookie. A good report card, an academic honor: dinner in a nice restaurant. The death of a pet, disappointment in not achieving a goal: my favorite dinner or dessert. Special little treats, rewards, comfort, celebration and sorrow - from the minor to the major all involved food.
Yesterday, being home sick, with far too much time on my hands, I started really thinking about it. It's not that we're "emotional eaters"...it's just that we're humans, and humans need to be comforted and rewarded. Unfortunately, for many of us, food is just the primary comfort/reward we've grown up with.
In the past, in an effort to stop the emotional eating, I'd somehow also stopped rewarding and or treating myself for anything other than weight loss issues. It was as if I'd tied my self-worth to a number on the scale.."when I lose ten pounds I will...." "when I reach this particular size I will..." "when I am at this weight/size I will be happy" So along with emotional eating, I'd developed a habit of denying myself "good things" until I thought I was thin enough to deserve them.
The big difference this time, one of the reasons it's been 14 months and counting since I've buried my face in pizza and cake for comfort/reward is that I've given myself little treats, totally non-weight related, whenever I think I need/deserve them - sometimes food oriented, sometimes not. A good trashy book, a fun outing with friends, shoes or clothes I don't need but want, a mani/pedi, a housework free day, brewing a pot of wildy expensive "for special occasions only" coffee, having my car detailed, a self indulgent bubble bath, fresh fruit out of season....the list is endless.
Here's the cool thing. Along with breaking the cycle between emotion/eating, long before I got even close to "goal weight" I realized that I was becoming a happier person..not cause I was losing weight but because I was treating myself well all along the way. And discovered a new cycle: when you treat yourself well, you feel good about yourself, the better you feel about yourself, the better you want to treat yourself. And since gobbling that piece of doublefudge heart attack on a fork cheesecake is not really treating yourself well, it's not the first, second or even third thing you think about in the face of stress or joy.
I starting learning to associate food with comfort/reward the first time somebody said "good girl" and gave me a cookie. A good report card, an academic honor: dinner in a nice restaurant. The death of a pet, disappointment in not achieving a goal: my favorite dinner or dessert. Special little treats, rewards, comfort, celebration and sorrow - from the minor to the major all involved food.
Yesterday, being home sick, with far too much time on my hands, I started really thinking about it. It's not that we're "emotional eaters"...it's just that we're humans, and humans need to be comforted and rewarded. Unfortunately, for many of us, food is just the primary comfort/reward we've grown up with.
In the past, in an effort to stop the emotional eating, I'd somehow also stopped rewarding and or treating myself for anything other than weight loss issues. It was as if I'd tied my self-worth to a number on the scale.."when I lose ten pounds I will...." "when I reach this particular size I will..." "when I am at this weight/size I will be happy" So along with emotional eating, I'd developed a habit of denying myself "good things" until I thought I was thin enough to deserve them.
The big difference this time, one of the reasons it's been 14 months and counting since I've buried my face in pizza and cake for comfort/reward is that I've given myself little treats, totally non-weight related, whenever I think I need/deserve them - sometimes food oriented, sometimes not. A good trashy book, a fun outing with friends, shoes or clothes I don't need but want, a mani/pedi, a housework free day, brewing a pot of wildy expensive "for special occasions only" coffee, having my car detailed, a self indulgent bubble bath, fresh fruit out of season....the list is endless.
Here's the cool thing. Along with breaking the cycle between emotion/eating, long before I got even close to "goal weight" I realized that I was becoming a happier person..not cause I was losing weight but because I was treating myself well all along the way. And discovered a new cycle: when you treat yourself well, you feel good about yourself, the better you feel about yourself, the better you want to treat yourself. And since gobbling that piece of doublefudge heart attack on a fork cheesecake is not really treating yourself well, it's not the first, second or even third thing you think about in the face of stress or joy.
I think emotional eating is a problem for a lot of people, whether they realize it or not. I'm not saying it's a conscious decision, either. I feel like we're trained that way a lot of the time and I don't think many realize the damage it can do.