Emotional eaters challenge!

AshleyM1

New member
Okay, so I'm Ashley, I'm 25. I need to make a life change with the way i eat and my excercise habits for my future an little boy J's future. I know that if I carry on the way I am well I'm heading for downward spiral towards all kinds of health problems. Also I don't want the same bad habits to form my sons life.
I suppose I should start where I started my unhealthy relationship.
As a child I was a skinny little whipet with long hair, everyone said I looked like a boy. I acted like on too, I was into everythin climbing trees, looking for worms and spiders. I was brought up with my cousin he is 2 years older than me and we are like brother and sister. We were always causing mischief then he got a little older and stopped spending time "playing out" when I got to 13 I joined the Army cadets that kept me active and i still looked like a boy with long hair. Then at 14 pubity hit and i had boobs and a bum. My bra size jumped pretty much every fortnight at 15 i steadied and was 34G and still really slim but with a bum. Id gone from looking like a boy to having a womens body in the space of 3 ish months it was hard I got alot of unwanted attention. I kinda gave myself a complex, I wouldn't do PE anymore because the boys would just stare and shout stuff and girls called me. This transfered to the cadets and I made excuses. As it got worse I cut school alot. Distanced myself from boys because didnt know if they genuinley liked me or just my big boobs lol
My Mam is an awesome cook she makes great food and always balanced meals and portion size was pefect. I have always loved my food but when all the stuff at school started happening I stopped excercising and probably ate a little more than previously. By time I was 19 I gained 2/3 dress size going from an 8/10 to a 14/16 I hovered around 10st 7lb - 11st 7lb. I then met my boyfriend. Him and his family have a really bad attitude to food. They deep fried everything, processed and portion size was massive. I would eat as much as I could and slowly gained more wieght. I spent alot of time at his parents until we got our own place and since then I have yo-yo'd and at my worse 16 stone which is astronomical. When i gave birth to my son I was 12st 10lb I lost more weight and got to just over 11.
Then it all went wrong, Ive had a really bad patch with other half and I eat for comfort and I knowI've gained ALOT of wieght, Im probably just under 15 stone.
I know i need to change my habits for my own sake and my sons, I cannot let the emotional side dictate how i eat. Thats why ive started my diary to make a change and try and control my emotional side. Im going to wiegh myself first thing in the morning and im dreading it!! Wish me luck, i will need it!!
 
Okay, so ive just got up, we have all been struck down with flu in my house :(
So I'm going to go weigh myself :willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly:
It's gunna bad but hey I need to face it head on!!!
 
Hi Ashley,

Bite the bullet and weigh... its always horrible when you dont want to see what the scale says but once it's done you can think right well that's what I weigh, in a weeks time I WILL weigh less... thats how I think anyway :) and if you hate how high the numbers look that adds to the motivation.

You can weigh yourself and be resolved never to see that number on the scale again. :D But if you dont do it you can't track and weight loss, and tracking it/seeing the numbers fall is the best feeling ever. x
 
Okay so i weighed myself and Im 14st7lb4oz which to be honest is better than what I suspected in my mind Ive lost 7 lb in a day :hurray: haha i wish!
I weighed myself and walked the dogs, well thats new because I rarely leave the house. Then I walked to shops to get other half flu tablets because he has man flu lol Which is new beacause we drive everywhere.
My goal is to be fit and healthy, to challenge myself and try to do something everyday. My end goal is to be fit enough to do some MMA and to basically change all my attitudes towards food. I have all the turbo jam, p90x, other instructional dvds I'm going to try and do the 20 minute turbo a day when J naps.
I think my goal weight for now should be 12st7lb I think it optimistic but not too optimistic :)
 
I weighed myself and walked the dogs, well thats new because I rarely leave the house. Then I walked to shops to get other half flu tablets because he has man flu lol

LOL that reminds me of the telly advert where the 2 busy sick women are chatting in the street and talking about buying medicine for the poor sick husband of one of them :D
 
Ecky, I've been bad since xmas eve and ive had not an onze of sympathy and he is ill and im running around like a maid for him lol about to tubo jam it now lol
 
Hi Ashley

It does sound like you had a number of challenges to deal with just at a time when you were growing up. Sadly kids will sometimes strike out to take the focus away from themselves, not realising the impact this can have on the person that they strike out at.
However, you have moved on since then. You have grown up, you are now 25 and ready to take control of your life again...like you did in the old days when you did what you wanted to do and what you enjoyed, with no cares about what others thought.

Tell us a little bit about what you do want. If you were to create the perfect life, what would that picture look like, what would you be doing, what weight would you be, how would you be feeling, what would you be saying to yourself?
 
Weightwizard, i want to be able to go out and be able to relax and not be self concious. I never want my son to be ambarresed by me. I want to go out n be able to buy clothes without getting upset. I want to be healthy and fit. I never want my son to have unhealthy eating habits ( he turns 1 in 2 wks).
Ive just made tea, we had oven chips and birds eye piri piri chicken. Its nothing special, wih J been poorly he wont let me put him down. I probably had a few too many chips. Ive not eaten any crap and only had 1 can of diet coke and lots of water. I have a major sweet tooth and pop problem and weeninf generally takes time. I think til little man is sorted im going to be eating pretty mch same. I will work out calories one he sleeps :)
Also had a bit of a revalation, i eat little mans leftovers!!!! I didnt realise i did it but ive just cleaned plates away and before i realised i had ate Js half of chixken breast!!! Bad mammy i will not do that anymore
 
Ive ate like a 1000 calories today :( I also struggle to consume a good amount of callories im aiming for about 1500-1600 give or take. Worry about my ratio of protein, carbs and fat well in bed watching some tv. Night all
 
Hey Ashley,
Best of luck with the weight loss. Don't forget to drink lots of water too, it can really help :)
It's hard to not eat the kids leftovers, I have 2 kids and always used to pick at their dinner plates after they'd finished. Now I take them straight to the dog and cats bowls and I don't touch a crumb!
I hope your little one gets better soon,

Jess
 
Okay so i weighed myself and Im 14st7lb4oz w

I think my goal weight for now should be 12st7lb I think it optimistic but not too optimistic :)

This sounds a good initial goal :) we're at similar starting weights as im 201.6lb which I think is 14stone 4lbs, so this could work quite well for motivating each other :) Long term I'd like to be about 10stone but 12 and a half sounds good to me :D

Good luck getting started - I am weighing myself on thursdays and sundays, cant wait to see the numbers start to drop! x
 
Hi Ashley

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
If I may....there are a number of "away from's" in there. A lot of your posting about what you do want..... is actually about what you don't want.

"not be self concious", "never want my son to be embarrassed by me", "to buy clothes without getting upset", "never want my son to have unhealthy eating habits"

This may seem a little odd, but if you choose to accept what I am saying and try it out in your life, you may find this useful in many areas:
Firstly, whatever you focus upon, and give energy to, you tend to attract into your life;
Secondly, your brain cannot process the negative. So if I say don't think about a big yellow elephant - bizarre though that is, the first picture that flashes through your mind is.....
Because your brain cannot process the negative, it thinks (incorrectly) that the picture you are creating is what you actually want, and you attract more of it into your life.

I think it is astonishing that the diet industry has never taught people that when they say "don't think about that chocolate cake in the fridge" - all you are doing is creating a picture in your head of exactly what you don't want!


Ashley...can I ask...are you subconsciously trying to cover up your most obvious features by being big all over? If so, when would now be a good time for you to be proud of who you really are? To be proud to be unique, to be proud to be Ashley.

I will be so bold as to invite you again to tell us what it is that you do want:

Tell us a little bit about what you do want. If you were to create the perfect life, what would that picture look like, what would you be doing, what weight would you be, how would you be feeling, what would you be saying to yourself?
 
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Well today was a fail. I was rushed out of the house and put on basically the first things that came to my hands. I looked like a car wreck I felt HUGE. I had a lite bag of crisps and 3 pieces of chocolate. We then had a KO kebabish. Which compromised of a flat bread thing the size of a plate, shredded chicken, and a small handful of chips. Thats all Ive ate, but thats probably enough fat and calories to last me a while lol

I did my shopping for stuff I need to do this, Ive set out my food for tomorrow if I give my slf lots of structure I can do this!

Weightwizard, Ive actually been told that before which is funny, brains are like computers I am going to have reprogram myself to think positive. Ive decided I'm going to put a few post its about with positive phrases so slowly i may actually begin to think that way. I really appreciate you advice :) Im not happy the person i am at the moment but I know I will be in the future. I would love to eventually have a boob reduction once my weight is down and im maintaining it. I hate them, I cannot muster any form of love for them except i have breastfed my son so they have served there purpose for that i am grateful. Ultimately I want me and my family to be happy and healthy and reinforce positive habits for my childrens futures.
We went of with some friends today and as we dropped them off we sat and hd a chat now the lad from the couple has a less than desirable personality at times. Arrogant, chauvanistic anything over 10/12 is fat. While we were chatting we mention 3 other female friends and he made derogative remarks about the weight. He then carried on waffling about people eating due to stress, emotional eaters and saying there is no such thing til i erupted and said "I have put on 3 stone in 4 ish months because of stress and been on the down side" he never really said anything after that. The best of it he acts like he is adonis and really he is overweight, and unattractive. He can be a sweetheart but also has a shitty side to him. I feel like hiding in a cupboard when he comes round. Good job Im thick skinned.
On the good side of today ive walked easy 4 ish hours at a steady pace :)
tutti frutti, yeah we can be diary pals!! I'll also weigh same days and see how each of us do ive joined most challenges. Ive set my ticker for a stone which is more achievable ;)
Jess, then dogs will from now get all his leftovers lol Im trying to drink as much as i can. sometimes i forget :s Jacob still really ill, its breaking my heart his big hazel eye seem blank at times he is so exhausted :cry: Its just flu but this is his first time been ill :(
Well tomorrow I have set this out if people pop buy tell me what you think please :D
Brekkie
Quaker Oats - Oat So Simple - Sweet Cinnamon With 180ml Milk, Cal207 Carbs 31 Fat 5 Protien 10 same follows for rest
Apple - Small Apple, 1 small 50 20 0 1
Fresh Fruit (Generic) - Bananna, Medium, 1 (7"-7 7/8" long, 4.2 oz) 105 27 0 1

Lunch
Birds Eye - Chicken Chargrills, 1 Portion Cooked 165 4 10 16
Mccain - Oven Chips, Straight Cut, 50 g 79 14 2 1
Birds Eye - Steam Bags - Broccoli, Carrots, Sweetcorn, 1 bag 50 8 1 3

Dinner
Home Made - Baked Potato Unsalted, 1 med potato 5.3 oz cooked 220 63 0 7
Grilled Chicken Breast - Grilled Skinless Chicken Breast, 3.5 oz 187 0 4 35
Birds Eye - Steam Bags - Broccoli, Carrots, Sweetcorn, 1 bag 50 8 1 3

Snacks
Asda Good for You - Natural Cottage Cheese, 100 g 71 5 2 10
Ryvita - Sunflower Seeds & Oats, 48 grams 162 36 4 4
Ham - Sliced, regular (approximately 11% fat), 1 serving 2 slices 91 2 5 9

Totals Cals 1,437 Carbs 218 Fat 34 Protein 100
 
Firstly I hope that your little boy is feeling better now.
Weight Wizards post is so true. You need to learn to love yourself now. Not wait until you are slimmer. If you love yourself it's easier to believe that you deserve to be slim and healthy. If a breast reduction is what you want and I can understand that as I also had that problem then just imagine what you want to look like with a slim body and smaller boobs and aim to do everything you can to get like that. Mine have actually gone down several sizes since I have lost weight and I really don't mind them now. Maybe once you are slimmer you won't mind so much.
 
Hi Ashley

I am glad to hear that you found this helpful.
I have to say that off all the things I have done, the one that helped me the most, was to realise that I could be attracting whatever I was focusing on and that I had the choice to focus on what I do want (rather than what I don't).
I will say that occasionally something will pop into my head that I don't want, but I just don't give it any energy. Instead I say to myself, "that's not what I want to focus on", and then I deliberately focus my attention on what I do want.

I was reading someone else's post and they mentioned deliberately reading motivational books or looking up uplifting quotations helped them to build greater and greater self esteem. I would go along with that, I find exactly the same things to be very uplifting and helpful. Perhaps you may wish to give that some thought.
 
So today pretty much went as scheduled my total ending been
Calories 1,494 Carbs 275 Fat 28 and Protien 58.
Breakfast
Oat so simple, semi-skimmed milk, Apple, Bannana
Snack
2 Ryvita with peanut butter
Dinner
Spiced cous cous
Snack
Snack a jack caramel
Tea
Jacket with cottage cheese and beans :)
It's been carb heavy today, trying to eat a little less carbs and more protein but struggle. Will have ham and cottage cheese tomorrow instead of the ryvita.
Drank about 2 litres of water today too, and quite abit of diet coke mainly because I went to help out in family pub and was thirsty :)
After breakfast I felt suprisingly really full, I must not skip brekkie!! Felt pretty good all day. Everyone in pub got a chinese and I came home to my tea, I think the snack a jacks are helping. They seem to be curbing the crave for sweet food. Also I got some mullerlights and Will snack on these too :)
 
Hi Ashley. Looks like you're off to a great start already :) I'm glad you're not letting "fail" days discourage you! I'm rootin' for ya and will definitely be checking back ;)
 
yesterday was an okay'ish day, I walked to and from work 15 mins each way and work as a bar maid so stood and walking around for 6 hours. Up 6 I had my porridge, the some snack a jacks, jacket with beans and cottage cheese then a muller light I was starving and pick up some stuff to make ome soups with and bought some fridge raiders 100 % chicken breast in roast chicken flavour ate them on way to my mums. When I got to my mams it went downhill lol She tortured me and i was weak :( I had a few :S marksies chocolate temptation squars some shotbread, a mince pie and a slice of pizza :( I drank again about 2 litres of water. Im determined today is going to be better Im at work so will be walking there and back and will be stood for 3 hours when I get home going to walk dogs too Eventually I will get there, and the key will be not visit my mams!!! Little man is starting to perk up but still not eating and other half has lost nearly a stone while he has been poorly why does that not happen to me, if im ill I have to eat and eat and eat ::ack2: Im going to weigh myself today see how im doing, but not going to take uch heed to it as its only been 4 day and 2 of them havent been great hahah
 
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