Elle's Diary

Nuthin like a little motivation to light a fire under your ass :D

BTW do u mind me asking where in Canada ur from? I'm from BC
 
This week has gone good. I re-started eating breakfast (either plain oatmeal or fiber one cereal with green tea). I have stopped buying latte's basically because I can't afford a $10/day latte habbit that adds 1000 Calories to my daily intake. I also restarted eating a fruit/veggie to each meal. Exercise has NOT been going good. Since I started bootcamp I get so sore that I can barely walk for days. When I stop being sore I'm too lazy to restart working out until bootcamp. The thing I'm glad about is that my spin class starts this week so at least until the end of december I will be getting at least two days of intense exercise. I think that in January when new group fitness classes start I might sign up for three of four days of classes because I stick better to classes(probably because they are kind of expensive and I'm too broke to go around throwing my money around).
 
I lost two pounds!!!!! I'm so excited. The only sad thing is that now I'm back down to 125lbs and my starting weight before I lost then gained weight was 126lbs so in total I've only lost a net of 1lb. I'm still happy as hell though. I started working out harder. I dusted off my eliptical which sadly sits in front of my TV and I have gone on it for bout 45 min a day for the last four days. Tomorrow I have bootcamp which is going to kick my ass and saturday I'm going to start spin classes. I have also not had a latte in a week so that's 500 calories less a day than what I would normally be getting.
So last saturday I went to the dress store and bought a HOT dress for new years but I bought it a size small. It's also one of those tight satin shiny tiny dresses that hides nothing. If I don't get down a size I'm not going to be able to wear it so it's flattering and if I don't get down a size and a half, I wont be able to eat or drink anything that whole day. I know that you shouldn't buy clothes that you don't fit but it's so cute, its added motivation. If I haven't lost enough weight by New years to wear it so I look hot, then I'm down $90 and that's even more motivation to loose weight.
The one thing I need to figure out is about my eating habits. I eat a healthy breakfast (usually egg whites with ww toast or fiber 1 cereal and skim milk), healthy lunch (small serving of leftover dinner, fruit, baby carrots and a mini cucumber), and I drink green tea and black coffee in between and so when I get home after work I'm still not hungry and I'm full from the eating through the day. BUT, as soon as I get home no matter how full I am I always have a big portion of dinner and sometimes I snack before dinner and still eat a full meal even though I'm full. It's habitual eating and I need to stop. I know that the extra calories are the reason I'm not loosing weight at a rate that I would desire. I don't know how to stop so this week I need to look into that. Also, I was reading someone else's WL diary and they did karate for fitness. That has always been my goal to do some form of martial arts or boxing (especially boxing) so this weekend I'm going to look into finding a gym and taking classes/lessons. I'm so not tough, I want to learn how to handle myself in a fight or how to defend myself in a tough situation.
 
I feel amazing today. Not only did I stick to my allotted daily calories, but I kicked ass in my fitness class. I didn't think that after three weeks I would feel like I was in such better shape but I do. I'm actually excited to work out...actually I don't know if I can say excited, maybe not dreading is a better description but I'm going to build up to excited. I even payed for more sessions starting January. I'm going to do another bootcamp session and kickboxing. Tomorrow morning, I start spin and I'm nervous. Usually after bootcamp I'm exhausted for three days and sore as hell I can barely walk and going after stairs is not happening for at least two days. I don't know how sore I'm going to be tomorrow morning but I hope it doesn't affect my workout.
I hope I have lost one more pound in time for my Saturday night weigh in, it would be great to be 124lbs.
 
I lost another pound and I'm now down to 124lbs! Today started out like such a good day. Then I decided to celebrated with 5 brownies and a piece of chocolate cake...ugh I have no self control mechanism. It was my dad's birthday and instead of eating the dinner part of the celebration, I ate dessert...ONLY dessert. I hope that my workout today and the fact that I had nothing else pretty much all day (not on purpose) makes my calories even semi-balance out.
 
It's going to be a new year, and like the last i don't know how many years...my goal for the new year is to loose weight. Lately, I've been seeing this weight watchers commercial on tv (but it could be jenny craig/la weight loss/whatever) and it's this woman who says teary eyed that for the first, make that second year in a row she isn't making a resolution to loose weight (point punctuated by emotional tear shed and plea to call ww). That commercial makes me so mad because I know that is not me. I hope that this is the year when I can finally just get in shape, loose weight, and/or be happy with my body. I can't even say how many times I go shopping, but clothes that are too small so that I can fit into them for a vacation or for the summer or whatever because I'm convinced that by then I'm going to be a size two. It has never happened. I have a pile of very expensive short shorts and mini skirts and sexy dresses that my size 8 ass is never going to fit into. I don't even think that my body was made to be that small. I don't want to keep wasting money and energy waiting for something that might (but hasn't so far) happen in the future. This coming year, I'm going to focus on now. I'm going to work out, eat healthy, and dress myself for my body now. This summer, I'm going to go on a "beach tour" of europe which will be me and my friends bumming around the beached of Europe. I know that I want to get into shape for that as I'm going to be living in a bikini but I know that the one thing that I'm going to strive for is not to feel bad about my body. In the past, I've always compared myself to my skinny friends and I don't want to do that anymore. I remember this one time, my friends and I went to a beach party and the whole time I "tanned" or fake slept because I didn't want anyone to see my fat ass in a bikini. I didn't really go into the water, I didn't play any of the games everyone was doing, I didn't prowl for hot with my friends (which is the whole point of going to the beach anyway), I was just miserable and self conscious. Never again!
I signed up for two fitness classes in the new year, a bootcamp and a kickboxing class and I think I might sign up for a third class. I'm going to take advantage of the gym at my work and I'm going to start working out on my lunch hour. I also got Hip Hop Abs for Christmas and I've done it a couple of times so far and I actually think it's fun. I'm a huge fan of exercise videos so at least I have no excuse for not working out everyday. I'm also going to clean up my diet a lot. I bought a new food diary so that I can analyze and plan my diet better.

My goal of the week is to stop using coffee whitener at work. I also want to cut back on sugar. I am a sugar addict and it needs to stop. I also want to stop using the elevator completely at work.
 
I dont know why but I feel like 2009 is going to be a good year for me. So far, my goals of working out during my lunch break have been good. I stopped taking coffee whitener with my numerous cups of coffee (my next goal is to cut my back on the sweetner). I am starting to work out 6 days a week and I am trying to eat cleaner. My motto for this year is "Being fine in 09"
 
Good to see u on here again Elle!

I totally understand what u mean about buying the too small clothes being conviced youll be able to wear them soon! I used to do that all the time and then wear baggy clothes to hide my body.

I definetly think that it is a good idea to buy clothes for your body the way it is now. For me, I think it had something to do with coming to terms myself. For years I would hide away from the world in baggy clothes and not do fun stuff because I was ashamed of my body. I kept thinking I would lose the weight and become all hot and then my real life would start.

Well when I finally started buying some clothes in sizes that would actually fit me I figured out that I didn't have to change to start living my life. I started putting myself out there and going out with my real friends who love me no matter what size i am. I also met my amazing boyfriend who I know really loves me for me (I was around 220 when we met and slowly went up to 280ish :( and he has always treated me the same)

When I was obcessed with being thin I think i subconciously sabotaged myself because I was putting so much pressure on.

Now I realize I dont have to be thin to live my life, I can take my time and do my weight loss right. And so far it has been working wonderfully- I don't feel deprived at all and I've been losing at a steady rate.

So good job with keeping up with your exercise and I hope it goes well for you. Just remember don't rush- would u rather lose 18 pounds in a month and then gain it back over the next 3(plus more potentially)? Or lose 18 lbs over 4 months and keep it off forever.

Sorry about the little rant havent been on here for awhile hehe

xox Slick
 
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