Elizabeth's Diary

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younggirlie

New member
Elizabeth's Diary -- Gotta Have Faith!

Hi everyone!

So I've been reading for a while, and a few days ago I posted for the first time on The Club. (http://weight-loss.fitness.com/club/40831-still-feeling-fat.html). The support has really helped me so I've decided to keep one of these diaries to keep constantly updated.

Here's my story... I am a college student, 5'7.5", and I currently weigh 194.6 lbs. I am down 36.4 pounds from my start weight of 231. I've been following weight watchers since January and I started an exercise regime of sorts about two weeks ago. I'm also using Alli now, have been for about a month. Now I'm looking to lose 34.6 more pounds at least, to put me at or below 160.

So, my current feelings are pretty proud, but still a little daunted. I am not really seeing a huge difference in myself. I know it's there but I guess I'm just hypercritical of my body. I know this is stupid, but I'm also worried that even when I lose the next 35, I won't look the way I want to look. I've been scouring the site looking for pictures of a 5'7 or 5'8 woman who weighs around 160 so I can see what I might look like (does that sound crazy?). I've been overweight my entire life so I don't know what I look like at a normal weight.

Anyway, here's my diary. I don't think I'll post my daily food intake here but I do want to record my weekly weight and have it here to record how I'm feeling. Maybe when I get to 160 I'll look back and laugh at my lack of confidence!
 
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Hello Elizbeth, welcome to the forum. I am sure you will look back on yourself after you've lost the weight and wonder what the heck were you thinking! Good luck on your journey, we are all here for each other.
 
So, today my dad is coming to visit me. I haven't been home in two months, and since I last saw him I've lost about another 15 pounds. I'm hoping he notices -- my mom is my biggest fan but she's naturally thin. I have the same body structure as my dad, so he knows how hard this is.

Just got back from the gym, feel like a rock star. Isn't it funny how the gym does that? Yet I still never want to go... oh well. At least I did go!
 
Just said goodbye to my dad. So nice to have him visit, even just for a day. He complimented me on my progress which was very nice.

So I don't usually give myself "cheat days," because I don't feel all that deprived on Weight Watchers -- if I want something, I usually have a little bit of it. But tomorrow is my school's spring concert, and it's a huuuuge event. Concerts from 12 to 12 and nonstop drinking, free food, all of it! I've pretty much given up drinking because I can't reckon with the calories, but I just want to have fun tomorrow and let myself have a day.

The last time I drank though, I saved up so many points that I didn't eat very much that day, and I ended up getting sick. Definitely don't want to do that, so... does anyone have any tips on managing a day of depravity like this? What to eat and what to drink so as not to go too overboard or wreck a good week's progress?

Thanks guys!
 
I usually try to get a really good workout in before an event or big night out. I also stick to lower point meals before I go - doesn't have to be a lot less food - just lower points - like a big veggie salad instead of a sandwich or oatmeal for breakfast instead of cereal. Try to have a small snack before you go like an apple or something little so your not starving when you get there. Also if you end up not having much control and eating more than planned do all above again the next day! It seems to work for me!
Your doing great so far so just keep it up!!
 
younggirlie said:
Hi everyone!

So I've been reading for a while, and a few days ago I posted for the first time on The Club. (http://weight-loss.fitness.com/club/40831-still-feeling-fat.html). The support has really helped me so I've decided to keep one of these diaries to keep constantly updated.

Here's my story... I am a college student, 5'7.5", and I currently weigh 194.6 lbs. I am down 36.4 pounds from my start weight of 231. I've been following weight watchers since January and I started an exercise regime of sorts about two weeks ago. I'm also using Alli now, have been for about a month. Now I'm looking to lose 34.6 more pounds at least, to put me at or below 160.

So, my current feelings are pretty proud, but still a little daunted. I am not really seeing a huge difference in myself. I know it's there but I guess I'm just hypercritical of my body. I know this is stupid, but I'm also worried that even when I lose the next 35, I won't look the way I want to look. I've been scouring the site looking for pictures of a 5'7 or 5'8 woman who weighs around 160 so I can see what I might look like (does that sound crazy?). I've been overweight my entire life so I don't know what I look like at a normal weight.

Anyway, here's my diary. I don't think I'll post my daily food intake here but I do want to record my weekly weight and have it here to record how I'm feeling. Maybe when I get to 160 I'll look back and laugh at my lack of confidence!
Click to expand...

I am 5'7" amd have pictures on my diary and am 162.6...

welcome to the diary area! Many of us in this area are friends and support eachother often, glad to have you here:)

*I just attached the photo from yesterday that I took.
 
chubbygirl said:
Also if you end up not having much control and eating more than planned do all above again the next day! It seems to work for me!
Click to expand...

That is always the most important thing! I'm going to try my best tomorrow, but I'm also going to have fun. And whatever happens, Sunday is my weigh-in day and the first day of my new week so I'll be ready to kick ass next week.



shawnnam said:
I am 5'7" amd have pictures on my diary and am 162.6...

welcome to the diary area! Many of us in this area are friends and support eachother often, glad to have you here:)
Click to expand...

Thank you so much shawnnam, and for the photo! You look great! :)
 
Well, here we are at 7:30pm. So far it's been such a fun day, unbeatable! But not good food-wise. I said I was going to do whatever I wanted and I haven't even been as unrestrained as I thought I would be, but now I'm wondering why I even did that. I know how to work special occasions into a weight loss plan. Feeling a bit stupid.

Went over by 14 weight watchers points today. I get 35 weekly flex points so those cut into that number, which honestly is fine. Some weeks I go over by a few every day and end up at the same point by the end of the week. But tomorrow is my weigh-in and now I'm scared that I did serious damage today. I just hate regret!
 
good morning everyone!

so, weigh-in today. current weight: 192.0. that means 2.6 pounds lost this week and 39 lost OVERALLl! can you believe it?!

i'm so so pleased. i was losing about 2 pounds a week on my own, and the alli pills are supposed to give you another 50% of your own rate, and that's exactly what it's doing. i hope using alli doesn't make it less likely to stick... i mean, i'm dieting and exercising as if i weren't on a diet pill so i'm still putting the work in.

so, 192. what a strange place to be! 1 pound until i've hit the 40 pound lost mark, 2 pounds and change until i'm in the 180's, and now 32 pounds until my goal of 160.

when I started, 160 seemed so impossibly far away. But now I'm worried that at 160 I won't be happy with myself, and may need to try to get down to 145-150. But you know? I can do it, if that's the case. I won't let the big number daunt me.

Feelings-wise, I'm happy for this loss (so happy!) but even last night when I was getting changed for bed, I looked down at my bare thighs and couldn't believe that they were still so ginormous. So it looks like there's a lot of work to be done before I see it on my body. Does the weight loss become more visible as you get closer to your goal, I wonder?

Thanks guys -- hope everyone is having a great weekend! Would love some support!
 
Happy Memorial Day to everyone in the US! My gym's closed today so it looks like I'm taking the day off of working out. No worries though, i've got plenty of school work to keep me busy all day... aghhh the end of the semester is so crammed. Starting my countdown to summer break! One paper and two exams stand between me and then.

Anyway, feeling good today. I'm wearing my new denim shorts (size 14!) that I bought at the gap... haven't owned a pair of short denim shorts since I was about 8! Off to the library for a full day of writing. Have good days everybody!
 
younggirlie said:
So it looks like there's a lot of work to be done before I see it on my body. Does the weight loss become more visible as you get closer to your goal, I wonder?
Click to expand...
Hey nice loss on the scale!! Keep it up!! I find I notice the loss a lot more if I'm shopping and trying on things I wouldn't normally wear or when I look at a recent picture of myself compared to my old pics. I really don't notice the differences standing in the mirror in the buff - I'm still pointing out the things I don't like such as stretch marks and cellulite - things you can't see when dressed. I'm really close to goal but still hate looking at myself naked - I really don't think I ever will because I did so much damage to my body being overweight my whole life.
 
chubbygirl said:
I really don't notice the differences standing in the mirror in the buff - I'm still pointing out the things I don't like such as stretch marks and cellulite - things you can't see when dressed. I'm really close to goal but still hate looking at myself naked - I really don't think I ever will because I did so much damage to my body being overweight my whole life.
Click to expand...


That's how I feel too. It's hard not to be super critical. At the same time, you're right - I can buy clothes that I couldn't before, and in my head I notice the progress. It's not like I don't see any difference at all, it's just that I don't feel any more attractive than I used to. Lifetime obesity really makes you think differently than others, I think.
 
So, I know that I'm posting a lot, but I want to use this space to record how I'm feeling. And tonight, I'm just thinking about how far you can come and how sad you can still be. I just passed a mirror and was floored by how terrible my arms look... I want them covered, just like I always have. It's too bad that there's not some magic switch.

The upper arms and thighs... just so disgusting. I am learning to appreciate and honor my body but I can't help being revolted by it from time to time.
 
Good morning!

So just got back from the gym. I do have a question for those following weight watchers... is it appropriate to say that about 50 calories lost = one activity point earned? I always count each food point as about 50 calories, so that's how I've been doing my workouts. I usually burn about 250 calories at the gym, but it seems excessive to get to count it as 5 activity points.

that's it from me!
 
Good morning everyone! Today starts my home stretch until the end of the semester... one week til I go home, and two exams between now and then. Maybe its the stress or maybe I can be only be mentally disciplined in one area of my life at a time but when I woke up this morning all I wanted was a giant donut! Haha luckily I won't even have a chance to be tempted as there are no donuts in the library and I'm about to go hole myself up there for the day.

Do you ever have those inexplicable cravings?
 
I get them all the time! Try chewing some gum - I never think of it at the time but someone told me I should do that so I just have to remember for next time!
Good luck studying for your exams and writing them as well - your so close to being done! I totally understand stress eating and wanting crap when under stress - it's just hard to think about putting time or effort into your meals so you want to grab whatever is fast and usually grease makes you feel better so it's understandable why you would want that feeling when stressing about exams - try your best to keep the cravings under control - if you slip just remember it's your last week of school and next week will be much better and pick up from there - no regrets!
 
Hello.

You're doing great! I'm following you now. Thought you should know. ^_^

I look forward to seeing more progress!
 
Well, this sucks. Just weighed in - 192.2. Gained 0.2. Here's the deal: last week when I weighed in the scale was fluctuating between 191 and 193. Normally it does fluctuate a few times and I usually pick the most consistent number, or try to, which was 192. And this week was rough, but I only went 9 points into my 35 weekly points and I went to the gym twice which burnt off another 8 extra points that I'd used -- a very average week for me, even in the middle of studying for finals.

Why can't you just count on the fact that working hard and doing it right will yield results? Lately I've been feeling like it's just so random -- like no matter what I do some weeks are successful and some are total failures. I leave for home on Wednesday and had been hoping to be at 40 pounds lost by then -- but now I'm back up to 38.8 lost. Disappointed. So disappointed.

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.
 
Scratch that, 192.4. Why does it fluctuate so much? I need a better scale -- I'm probably really at 192.8 because it keeps saying that, but I can't deal with that.

I know this sounds stupid and overdramatic. But I'm so incredibly discouraged right now. I didn't do anything to gain this pound, I am so so so upset.
 
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