Eerika's Diary

eerika

New member
Ok, so this is my start. My weight loss history is long and hopeless, but here i am willing to try again. In last years I've succeeded to gain weight insted of losing it. I've struggeled with my weight since i was teenager, and i am afraid to gain any more kilo. So i want to make a permanent change in my life.

I'm from a family which is very conscious of their health and eating punctually. At some point i kind of fed up with it all and eated what i wanted and how much i wanted. I didnt want to exercise and i gain weight a lot in a pretty short time. So i am about 20kg overweighted and 175cm tall. My goal has always been to weigh under 70kg, and at the moment im 90kg.

In 2008 i got some help from a personal trainer who created a diet for me, which was about 1500- 1600 caloried per day, and i actually achieved something and losed almost 10kg in 3months! Then i met my current boyfriend and my attention kind of made a move to other things. So obviously my diet suffered a lot and in the end i forgot it. I realised that i filled myself again with all the crap i got in my hands and didnt care about the healthy side of it. :confused:

After that i've tried to start weight losing couple of times with no results. But i've managed to keep my weight in the same reading for few months now. Around the christmas my state of being was again pathetic and i really felt disgusted by myself. It was the peak of all this, and i thought i really cant deal with this feeling anymore. I didnt enjoy the christmas really because i felt uncomfortable with my family. I think they just feel sorry for me because i cant make it. I've sporty parents and two fabilous sisters, and im just this sad fat black sheep with them! And yes, they have made it very clear to me. Whenever i see them i hear this lecture about it. At some point i thought that they just cares about me and im trying my best. Now i dont want to hear the lecture any more time. I've decided to not see my family for while because they attend to discourage me at this point. I have to make the START by myself. It's me who has to lose every single kilo.

Anyway, maybe there's a little lecture about my family!:D After all they are good people.

I've been browsing this forum for few weeks now and im very inspired of all you who have made committed to lose your overweight! It has also been very uplifting to see before and after photos of people who has made a huge change in their lifes. It makes me feel i can do it! I also hope i will get some support i need from here, from people who are struggling with same thing. :)

I think im going to update this when i feel like it. I started my diet about week ago and i can already see a small change on my scale, -1,3kg! :hurray:
I've felt a bit hunger, specially in the evenings, but its just because my stomach is shrinking. First weeks are always the hardest right..? I've also exercised in the past week four times. Mainly walking, i cant even jog yet not to mention running! I like doing body pump and gym training but i think i will invest in walking because aerobic, long lasting training is my key to lose weight. I also have this distant dream about running a half marathon some day! ;)

I think i will finish this post now and get back to you later! :seeya:
 
I will start writing my diary again, inspired by Rox. Her encouragement meant a lot to me and I am trying to get myself together here. It's been pretty much a year since I wrote my first post here. I haven't succeed, I weight exactly the same, and my feelings are exactly the same. Something has to be done, and I know what it is. I just have to start living my life the way I feel happy..

Today I'm going to spinning class first time for months.. And I've started my low carb diet again. I'll be back..
 
Welcome back! I just came back as well, I'm looking forward to watching you progress, good luck at spinning class!
 
I've been feeling better today. I've still almost two weeks christmas holiday left, so I can concentrate on my project.. But this is day one, and it's going to be a long road.. I'm trying to take it day after another. Not thinking too much about future, just living in this moment. Trying to do my best every day.. It has been my stumbling-block before, that I've went ahead things. Because I should just think about the present day.

Anywayy, I went to the spinning class today also and survived. It felt really hard first, even painful.. And then I almost fainted and threw up :D But no, i did survive alive to the end. I had to take some breaks and just bicycle slowly because I was so exhausted. But spinning is really energetical! I was covered in sweat! I think I burned some calories there.. Too bad I dont have a heart rate monitor (or what is it called?) That I could see how much I've burned. I've been thinking buying one..

My eating have been fine also today. I ate some bacon and eggs for breakfast, then some tunasallad with mayonnaise on afternoon, and my evening meal consisted of bacon, broccoli, cauliflower, cheese and creme fraiche. And if someone is thinking why I am eating so much fat and protein, it's because I'm following the low carb diet. I try to eat about 20g carbs in a day, 90-100g protein and 100-150g fat. I'm trying to reach the ketosis and stay on that state for a while.. I've also left grain and sugar out of my diet. But maybe I'll tell you more about my diet when time passes. It's similar with the atkins diet.. I think it's the best option for me. I've been always very sensitive with grain and sugar.. I get really bad stomach-ache and my weight goes up and down.

Can I upload photos here?? Does anyone know how it works?
 
Hi, sweetie!!
I'm so happy to be even a small part of your new journey!
I'm glad you got through your spinning class...even though it sounds kind of horrific! Kudos to you for sticking with it all the way to the end. Just don't overdo and make yourself ill. Going at your own pace is best, at the beginning stages, I think.

The food diary is a great idea. Don't be afraid to write down exact items and quantities...it can be really helpful.

As for pictures...I usually load my photos for this site on to Photobucket and then link.

Good job and best of luck!
This site is full of nice people going through many of your same struggles...and we're all here for you!

Go Eerika!!!
 
Oh, I had to read your comment before going to bed! :D It made me smile, you're so nice Rox! Yeah, I felt really good when I realized I had survived of that spinning class! Hahaa! It's been a while since I've participated any kind of work out classes.. I've almost forgot how fun it is! But you're right, I shouldnt overdo or make myself ill.. I will try to take it easy.

I was thinking to put sometimes my eatings up here, otherwise I'm using this calorie calculator on internet.. It's a great web site and doesnt cost that much to use.. It calculates carbs, proteins, fat and calories what you have eaten.

And I guess I will just use the photobucket in the future too if I want to upload some photos here.. I've also noticed that this site is great!! :) Here's a lot of information and nice people struggling with the same issues.

But now Im going to bed and waking up tomorrow as deteminded as today!! ;) Sweet dreams!
 
I just saw the photos you have in your galllery now. You are such a lovely, lovely girl!!!
Your eyes look green in the photos. Are they really?

You remind me very much of my younger daughters. They are both very fair and blonde like you...and so beautiful, too!
 
Yes I added the photos today and I really have green eyes :) And thank you for your compliments! I also checked your album and you look stunning, and I love your cats!! :D
 
I'm having a bit of an angst about winter today. It's about -32 degrees outside at the moment. :S It feels even hard to breath outside! Not even mention about going for a walk! You must put a hell of a lot clothes on if you are intending to go out there.. I'm feeling frustrated at the moment because it's not enjoyable to go for a walk, I may get a flu or something.. :(

I woke up late today and ate my eggs & bacons. Then I've been hanging around and read my book about low carb dieting. It's so facinating.. :) I got the book from my mom as a christmas present. Tomorrow I'm going to work to the hospital and I have a one shift on friday as well. But the new year will be pretty easygoing, my boyfriend is coming over today and I will probably go to his place on sunday because I have one week holiday left. I didnt even get shifts from the hospital even I asked more.. But maybe its good to just spend some time and not working. School will start soon and the stress will be back! Now Im gonna go to grocery store to Sweden side (yep, my parents are living right on the boarder of Finland and Sweden) My mom actually works in Sweden.. :) Have a good day guys!
 
I'm glad you're reading! I found that reading about healthy weightloss and doing research on it really helped me keep motivated for the first months...

I'm also glad you are having a relaxing holiday!

May I ask if your boyfriend is supporting you in your weightloss efforts? Or have you even told him yet?

I'm going off now to look at your new pics. BTW- Thanks for the compliments for me and my cats!
 
Ahh I feel your stress with the lecturing of the parents. I simply didn't wanna hear it anymore either. Lets pull this off and amaze them!
 
I'm glad you're reading! I found that reading about healthy weightloss and doing research on it really helped me keep motivated for the first months...

I'm also glad you are having a relaxing holiday!

May I ask if your boyfriend is supporting you in your weightloss efforts? Or have you even told him yet?

I'm going off now to look at your new pics. BTW- Thanks for the compliments for me and my cats!

I'm very interested about these books.. Specially about low carb - high fat diet. I've tried so many diets, and I've noticed that carbs cause me a lot of troubles. So I heard about half an year ago about this low carb - high fat dieting, and I tried it for four weeks and the results was incredible! I lost almost 5kg, several cents from my waist, my stomach issues dissapeared and my menstruation cramps vanished!! So I just wonder why in the hell I gave up back then.. :(

But you're right, reading about healthy weightloss keep you motivated.. And at the same time you get precious information. :)

Well, I've been together with my boyfriend over 2,5 years.. So he has seen how many times I've started losing weight and then failed :( Sooo he is kind of ignoring this time now.. I guess he is supporting but he isn't that excited you know.. He is like pessimist wont be dissapointed. :mad: And he isnt overweighted so he hasnt struggled with this thing. When I met him first time I had lost just 10kg off my weight, and after we started to be together I gained it back. How depressing is that..? But at least I know theres some hope, because I've done it before. I've managed to lose weight. I just have to dedicate myself to this project, to learn healthy lifestyle. I wish this will be THE time I will succeed. Because anyone isnt believing in me anymore.. And I really dont want to keep banging my head to the wall anymore, time after another.. :banghead:

And yea Rox, I love your cats and you're so huge motivator to me! Your improvement is incredible. I've a dog on my own, but my parents have two cats also.. Im a real animal lover :) But now I'm going to bed, because I must be at work at 7 am! Huh.. Talk to you later! Hugs :)
 
Ahh I feel your stress with the lecturing of the parents. I simply didn't wanna hear it anymore either. Lets pull this off and amaze them!

Hey Daybehavior!! Your comment made me smile!! You guys are so great, I feel so motivated! And Im glad I've signed up for this forum! :) And yes, we will amaze them all!
 
Good luck on your journey...sorry to hear your parents are not a good motivator for you! Maybe your friends can support you more? :) I met lots of friends at the gym and in classes :)

Have a great day xoxoxox
 
Good luck on your journey...sorry to hear your parents are not a good motivator for you! Maybe your friends can support you more? :) I met lots of friends at the gym and in classes :)

Have a great day xoxoxox

Good Morning!

Umm.. My parents have always tried to motivate me, but the way they does it isnt always the best way. And this time they do support me, but doesnt really trust me that I could do it, because I've failed so many times before. Meh., Maybe its just good they re a bit sceptical. I can focus here without feeling any pressures.

I actually have a one closer friend from school, who is struggling with some weight losing issues too. But we havent really been discussing about it, because its a kind of sensitive topic. :piggy:

But now Im going to eat my eggs & bacons and go to work! Talk to you later!
 
Hey Daybehavior!! Your comment made me smile!! You guys are so great, I feel so motivated! And Im glad I've signed up for this forum! :) And yes, we will amaze them all!

:) That's what's so great about this site. Nearly everyone is going through the same thing so we can all help each other out. At the end of the day, you're still a very foxy lady so even if you "fail" for now, its no big deal. But we will try our best so that you don't fail. :hat:
 
Hi Eerika!
Well done on getting into it :)
I just wanted to wish you all the best on your weight loss, you're off to a great start!
I'm an animal lover too, we have 2 cats, a Dalmatian and some fish at the moment. We used to have 2 rats and 4 mice as well :) My kids are mad on pets too.
 
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