EEE ***Emotional Eaters Eliminating Club***

I also think this is the club for me, a prime example being earlier on today...

Failed my driving test for the 2nd time so ended up meeting up with a (skinny, I hasten to add) friend and going for lunch. However, it did hit me halfway through the main course that the only reason I was eating stodgy pasta was because I felt crap thus I'd ended up eating crap?!
 
I love that this group exists - anyone who eats past physical fullness, is an emotional eater. Like me! When I overeat it's because a) it's the end of a long day (I have 2 small children) and somewhere in the back of my mind the thought "hey, I deserve a second taquito b/c as a reward for all my hard work and it's a quick and 'convenient' source of pleasure" comes up or b) another thought, "you are so out of control!" comes up and react to it, by eating out of control"

With a) I am finding replacing my food reward with a non-food reward to be effective and it can be something very simple and cheap. For me, I like watching the sunset or sitting outside in my backyard after the kids are asleep and just listening to the nature sounds (and sometimes the rush of a nearby freeway, depending on the wind!) or watching an episode of Oprah I have saved on Tivo

With b) I really need to catch my thought "I'm out of control" before I act on it. Because if I let that thought run it's course, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I use a lot of mindful-based techniques for this. The most powerful tool I use involves dissolving any negative thoughts that come up for me. How I do this is when i know I have reached physical fullness and, yet, I still want to eat more food I will stop myself and count to ten or take three deep breaths and really focus on those breaths. This really helps me dis-identify from the thought I am having ("I'm out of control"). This is extremely simple, but it's not always easy to do, especially the first you try it. What tends to happen is the time between the thought and the action is so short (like a flash) it seems there was no thought preceeding the action. Sometimes it just takes the act of extending that gap between thought and action to see that I really do have control. If I don't, who does? I can then find more evidence to support the opposite of my original thought ( find evidence for "I DO have control") and by doing that, i realize the original thought is a total lie. There is an actual technique for dissolving thoughts like these taught by a spiritual teacher named Byron Katie - I don't want to violate any policies about posting links, but if anyone is interested in learning more about this tool (she posts it for free on her site), please message me and I'll be happy to share it with you.

I'm still learning how to get a handle on my thoughts, but I see my overeating as my teacher ;-) I'm more interested in understanding why I overeat than I am in the symptoms of overeating (weight gain). I know once I understand the root of the problem, the symptom will go away, too! It sounds like people in this club already understand the connection between emotions and overeating, I think that is a very important step in gaining insight into not only the issue of weight, but also the issue of our emotional and total well-being. It takes A LOT of courage to investigate the real reasons why we overeat, so I applaud everyone's courage :hurray:
 
Newbie Mindless eating

I struggle with what I consider to be "mindless" eating. One evening I was literally inhaling my food and I stopped mid bite and thought "I am eating this with aggression" not even remotely enjoying it. Sometimes I think I am looking for relaxation and pleasure, trying to unwind when I eat, but if the food isn't appealing or I'm stressed I just shove it in there. Is there any hope......I need to start rethinking old patterns. New poster here ejaffe will be back to read your excellent post this evening. :waving:
 
hurrah!! i have found a home on WLF...

as i was beginning to think this wasn't the place for me...everyone is just so committed & focused & while that and the support everyone gives to each other is wonderful...starting to think i was the only one who found it really really difficult to change eating habits. now i find a club for those of us who don't only eat food when hungry...but for emotional reasons/for comfort/to change our moods/to balance out our feelings etc...or as mr.sickles said food to go along with the emotions...whether they be happy or sad...

ellie i agree with you ejaffe's post spot on...i will have to catch up with all the other posts on here too.

i had only just done a bit of a ramble about some of my own reasons for EE in my diary...& i posted on another posters diary about food addiction too today...apparently theres a few of us on here then...:grouphug:

i have put a few motivating quotes in my diary too that i find help me to stay mindful of what i'm eating...or rather at this stage they keep me mindful of being mindful!! IYKWIM...i know you do!! LOL

delighted to say i've eaten far less chocolate lately but...so far no weight loss as i've found now instead of craving chocs in times of stress i've 'substituted' it for bread & cheese!! i think it'll be a long road & i may never be fully rehabilitated but even being a controlled emotional eater as susanna mentioned would be so much better than feeling out of control!!

anyway glad we can share the journey together. i do tend to ramble quite a bit so expect many more posts from me!!
 
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hi my names amanda and i'm a chocoholic...

chocolate has been both my pleasure (tastes yummy!!) & pain (fattening...dammit!!) for many many years even when i was a skinny chick i could eat a full box of chocs without giving it a second thought...now i'm paying for that though finally in weight gain how i wish i'd practiced a little mindfulness re eating back then...but like i say its the devils food & very very seductive...LOL

anyway one of the big trigger times for me for a choccie splurge is when my youngest son who has autism can't/won't??! go to sleep & its 4am...& i start to feel like the whole worlds asleep except for me...well ok the northern hemisphere anyway...i am slightly drawn to the dramatic!!:biggrinjester:

so i must remember to have lots of chocolate options sachet drinks to hand...only 40 cals a cup & comforting & warming too...as nice as 'the real thing'??! no don't be daft!! but won't add anymore extra chocolate curves to my figure...as i have enough of those to get rid of already!! :smash:
 
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Pizza is definitely my biggest downfall. And that means any kind of pizza product...especially since at the dollar store near me I can get pizza snacks for just a dollar :banghead:

I'm getting better though.
 
A) How do I "join" this club? I'm an emotional eater and I know that I could probably use some support from time to time.

B) Hi, I'm Chef and I'm an emotional eater. (Hi Chef!)

C) I guess I'm just hoping to get some sort of good advice or something, so I'll just be honest about some stuff. I'll try and make a long story short...

I met a girl a few years back. We started dating, I fell in love, planned to marry her, the whole 9 yards. Why isn't it the whole 10 yards? Eh, anyway. I dated her for 3 years and sacrificed absolutely everything about my future in order to be with her, as I truly thought she was the one that I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. So, this is the "long story short" part, but she broke up with after 3 years of dating because she was a lesbian. Like I said, long story. I didn't know she was a lesbian while we were dating (nobody did) because she kept it a secret and dated me so she could feel "normal". After 3 years, she had enough and decided to come out of the closet.

I have never been skinny, as I have always had a thicker build. Not necessarily fat, but thick, muscular and beefy. Yeah, let's go with beefy. HA, ok, anyway...after she broke up with me, that's when my emotional eating (and drinking) really started to escalate. I won't go into it all, but I really started to hate my life and eventually, I actually tried to kill myself. I couldn't go through with it, and luckily I stopped in time in order to get a second chance.

I guess that I eat a lot and drink a lot because I'm trying to fulfill my emotional hunger, not just my physical hunger. Ever since my ex left me, I eat everytime that I feel alone, which is quite often. I also drink a lot, but I'm trying to work on that too. Before she left me, I weighed about 180-185 lbs and I was in good shape. Now, 6-7 years later, I weigh probably 250 lbs and the only shape I'm in is a round, penguiny one. I know that it's not healthy for me to eat so much, especially just because of my stupid emotional issues, but I don't know how to stop it.

Does anybody have any good tips or tricks to help stop the urges/cravings to eat, even though I'm not hungry? Also, if anybody feels like "kicking me in the ass", so to speak, and giving me some harsh words of reality, please do so.
 
comfort eating...& how to stop...

recognise your trigger foods...chocolate/crisps/cheese & bread are the usual suspects...you'll get a rush on eating your particular demon food...then your body will crash & you'll want more...acts just like any other addiction :banghead:

(me?? all of the above!! my three demon C's!! )

keep a journal, listing your emotions & foods eaten, so you can identify patterns of behaviour.

whenever you automatically reach for food, try to identify what it is you actually want to do - do you really want to eat, or do you need to have a hug, or cry or shout at somebody (if no one around & you still want to have a shout...use a cushion...so neighbours won't think you've lost it...LOL)

for comfort or distraction i have a soak in the tub/go for a walk/watch a movie (you can choose one to suit or change/lift your mood)/read a book & if all else fails find something/someone that just makes you laugh...best medicine of all!! :)
 
hi JulianaRose & ChefChiTown...

i just assumed you post/you join??! am i wrong?? :)


i love pizza too...ok maybe loves a bit strong...but i like it a damn lot!!


hi chef...nothing wrong with being beefy!! ;)

no harsh words from me sorry!! but heres a :hug2:

re eating when not hungry but to fill an 'emotional hole' i've written about food addiction in fileler's diary - 'Deamons in my head.Pls give me a reason,why should I bear all this?' & in my own journal too...a helluva lot!!
 
I can't keep food in my kitchen or i'll eat it in one sitting- which is what happened this week...My mother is batlling cancer, so to deal with that stress, i eat.
 
TitanicWreck said:
I can't keep food in my kitchen or i'll eat it in one sitting- which is what happened this week...My mother is batlling cancer, so to deal with that stress, i eat.
Click to expand...



well if there was ever a time to comfort eat...

don't be hard on yourself about that just now as you have enough to cope with.


there was a documentary on TV here in the UK the other night about a woman suffering with out of control food binges...like you she didn't keep anything in her kitchen for fear she'd eat it. when i have time later i'll post about the programme. take care.
 
eating disorder documentary...

last wk in the UK there was a programme on about a woman who lived with the urge to overeat 24/7...she very bravely allowed herself to be filmed over a month...including the many times a day when she felt compelled to overeat. she was filmed straight to camera gorging on pasta/bread/crisps/chocolate bars/cheese...the usual suspects...

she shopped several times a day so that food was never left in her kitchen...but this just seemed to mean that she was caught in an endless round of shopping trips to buy the food she wanted to eat/binge on anyway...

her binge eating was beginning to affect her son too. he was now about 9/10 & was starting to 'spy' on his mum when she didn't think he was looking. he told the therapist how he saw her stuff the food...in huge quantites...into her mouth. his mum had thought he wasn't even aware of it. she never sat down to eat with him either. every moment seemed to be about food/eating...what she'd ate/what she wanted to eat/was trying not to eat etc...

it was pretty sad to watch...things had gone so far....that she had quit work & was basically living as a recluse almost...not going out socially at all (i can relate to that...may be fat but still have my vanity!!) she only seemed to go out for shopping. she had become a prisoner to her own eating habits...what had began as a way of her coping with life...had become her way of life...as the food or rather the dependence on it had now become the problem.

she was stuck in a seemingly endless cycle...
the 'i'm fat because i eat...i eat because i'm fat' vicious circle...
sure we've all been there...but we are here now!! which is a big step in itself to increased awareness & to forming new/healthier habits...

the therapist involved was a very no nonsense type...i didn't find her very sympathetic to the poor woman at all, who was obviously feeling a lot of distress...there were several times when the woman broke down as the therapist kept trying to do things hardcore instead of gradually...viewers to think about i presume...TV programme after all!!

anyway...here are some of the strategies the woman was advised to adopt...

the washing up liquid method...if you feel compelled to overeat or to eat left overs spray washing up liquid liberally all over the offending food!!? looked a bit mad/felt very extreme...i couldn't help but think what a bloody waste!! did she not have a dog??! LOL & wouldn't it be better to try to enable the woman to put & keep leftovers in the fridge?? then again i know she had the thing about not leaving food in the house etc...but still this felt/looked gimmicky...she did do this a couple of times but didn't continue with it...i did notice too that she changed her fancy washing up liquid to a cheap one though...don't blame her...waste all round!!

keep to a shopping list...shop for several days ahead if not the week. do not stray from the list!! if you cave for this on offer...then it'll be this/that etc (guilty!!)

therapist literally forced her to go out for a meal...to begin to enjoy the social aspect of eating i assume but she wasn't ready for this & left the table & restaurant. it was too much too soon. as on top of her binging she had the fear that she would lose all control in public.

i did really take on board one thing the therapist said...

feel the emotions...let them out...don't suffocate them with food!!

i had this in mind when i had a day or so of emotional upset over the w/end & it worked for me...tbh it felt a little strange at first...feeling that i was upset & not reaching for some/any food to make me feel better!! a bit weird even just letting the tears out...as i realised how much i usually do suppress my emotions. (& yet i'm known as a bit of a drama queen??! go figure...:D) its a control thing for me too b/c when i do get really emotional its a bit scary/vulnerable...& i don't like feeling like that. but i survived!! after all only tears!! they pass...& you'll be ok too!! just let it out!! :)

the trick is to keep breathing...as with life!!!

it wasn't like on that episode of Friends...when Chandler finally starts to tap in to his emotions & cry...& then finds he can't stop!! i promise it wasn't that bad!!! LOL



lovely song just takes a minute to get really going...come on sing along!!
 
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Keep your chin up

TitanicWreck said:
...My mother is batlling cancer, so to deal with that stress, i eat.
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Hey TW,

Seems like a lot of us emotional eaters have serious life events going on in them. My mother has been chronically ill with various ailments (manic episodes, dementia, hearing loss, depression, heart failure, compulsive eating, various infections...etc.).

For a while I was doing really well by re-targeting my emotional stress by telling myself that "working out and eating right is the best way to set an example for and support mom". I would even run 5k races for her.

That worked for about 3 years but now that she's gone through some more episodes and depression, I feel like my efforts to keep her spirits up and keep her happy/healthy are useless. She use to make an effort to eat right but now her pendulum has gone back to the other extreme where she binges and compulsively eats fast foods, etc. She has a team of doctors working for her and takes more pills than I'd be able to keep track of, so I know they're doing the best they can with what they can.

But now I've put on 15-20lbs of the original 65-70 I lost over that 3 year period. I'm not exercising, becoming a workaholic, and not happy. I'm beginning to realize, though, that the best thing I can do for her (and for me) is to ensure I lead a happy and healthy life for myself (as I'm sure any mother would want for their daughter/son). This isn't selfishness... it's survival.

If I were to imagine myself as a mother battling cancer who had a son like you, I would think that my deepest wish was that my son was healthy - emotionally and physically. I think seeing a happy, healthy son visit me in the hospital or at home would be uplifting and make me feel secure that if things don't improve that I would be able to live life through my son.

Talk to you mom about this. Ask her what her dream is for you.

Take care,
Sydney
 
gardenkitty...

your post had so much heart & truth in it...

i hope both you & TW find the strength you need to look after your mums & i wish you both the happiness that you deserve too. as carers sometimes we can forget to look after our own needs...but if we are to continue caring & supporting our loved ones this has to be a priority too.

take care
 
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My emotional eating is like a seesaw of two extremes.

Like, if I get full, I will almost binge eat because the painful feeling just makes me want more food. It's really awful. On the other hand, when I haven't eaten in awhile, I'll lose the desire to eat and then really struggle with control during the next meal.

Am I a freak?
 
I am so happy that I have others here to talk about this. It took me a long time to realize that I am definitely an emotional eater.

Last night I felt a little down, and left a friends house at 4AM, then decided to get some fast food even though I had given it up for lent (I'm horrible :angelsad2:) I went to BK...it was closed...even McDonalds was closed. I drove to a McD's a little further away and it was open 24hrs...so I actually ordered the food and got my money out, but when I got to the window, no one was there. I knew they were just taking a little bit but I knew right then that that was a sign to NOT emotionally eat!! Thankfully I didn't eat anything.

I'm really getting better, and that whole thing helped.
 
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