Ok, here I am...ready to pour my soul out. I won't be offended if nobody wants to read this because I'm about to ramble on and on and on. I'm a 29 year old wife to a wonderful husband and mother to two wonderful children. Over the years since getting married, my weight has been inching up and up. When I got married I weighed about 118 (sigh) and now I weigh about 161 (cringe!). Considering I'm only a little over 5'2", this not an ideal weight for me. Frankly, I'm totally sick of it! Over the last couple of months I've been wearing the same thing over and over because all the nice clothes I have don't fit. I know its gotten pretty bad when I'm embarrassed to walk in front of my husband without being fully dressed. He has never said anything to degrade me and never would. It's in my own head. My self esteem has gone down the drain. I'm must do this for me and for my family. I want to set the example for a healthy life for my children. I don't want them growing up the way I did as a child (was a fat kid and lost the weight in my teens years) and now as an adult. My bad habits can certainly be to blame. I tend to stay up too late (like now for instance), snack late, eat too large of portions, etc.
Perhaps with this diary, I can release my thoughts and feelings and understand why I sometimes eat the way I do. I will try to post as often as possible and report on my progress.
Perhaps with this diary, I can release my thoughts and feelings and understand why I sometimes eat the way I do. I will try to post as often as possible and report on my progress.
I am your same height so I definitely know how it is to have all these extra pounds on these SHORT legs! I know it has definitely impacted our intimacy level, as well as the way I FEEL about myself, and YOU are RIGHT, I am not PROUD to walk around naked anymore, and at that I have NEVER been as PETITE as you once were, though I DESPERATELY would have liked it! The lowest I was landed at 142 and that's were I met him, which is a Huge difference from the 172lbs that I am at right now!....I remember the only thing he has ever said to me ONE TIME, was in a sweet tone of voice and very low, when we were sitting on the couch watching TV, and he said that I had "GOTTEN REAL BIG"....I cried for DAYS.....because that means he MUST SEE me as the BLOB I did as well.....BUT my ATTITUDE has CHANGED, and NOW I am motivated to CHANGE, for MYSELF, and for HIM & my Family as well.....THOUGH it is HARD, we can all do it TOGETHER, and NOW he is soo PROUD of ME that I have just made it to RUNNING 5 miles a day and 9 miles on some Days.....I can ACTUALLY see that HE has "FAITH" that I am going to change MYSELF this TIME & SUCCEED...unlike the CHeap previous ATTEMPTS he has seen me SWEAR to stick by and FAIL time and time again. HONESTLY, that GLIMPSE of FAITH in his EYES, is what launched me from one day this past week from running/jogging 4.5 miles...to just "DOING iT" and RUNNING 9 miles! WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER...and I vowed to myself, even though I have never seen him looking at other women that I have not myself POINTED OUT because of their BEAUTY, ...that "I" want to be that "MODEL" in his LIFE!.....THanks for LISTENING! KEEP up YOUR GOOD WORK! WE all need to STICK TOGETHER! REMEMBER YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL OUTSIDE! ( and as far as wearing all the same clothes....I feel the same....all of my old pants in my closet are size 2 and 4's...DON"T ASK ME HOW at 142lbs...but they were, and NOW I'm wearing these two pairs of pants and alternating because they are the ONLY size 13's I OWN anymore......
Any way, we're trying to refinance the house so if that goes thru things will get a lot better and I can give my brain a rest. You are so right...God will carry me through! I would have never thought of myself as an emotional eater until the last year when we tried to start a second home business
Sometimes, I think I could eat my desk if I thought it wouldn't crack my jaw. Then where would that leave me? I wouldn't be able to eat anything at all! Anyway, I would like to workout in the morning, because I would like it to be over with early and I love the boost feeling it gives me, but I find that it is usually easiest for me to do it when my little lady is taking her afternoon nap. So if that is what works, then I will stick to it. 
The pancakes were buckweat. Much healthier for you than regular, they're great tasting and they stick with you for a while so you don't feel so hungry. So here is the breakdown:
and if I drink more water, then I can do more SQUATS, throughout the DAY thats TONS of SQUATS you would have NEVER DONE!