dreamingblue's Journey

i know, it feels really good to exercise and eat right. i haven't gotten to the point where clothes are loose or anything like that, but mentally and emotionally i'm feeling sooo much healthier and starting to get some confidence back. i'm in this for the long-term....i know it's going to be a long and hard journey but i'm not giving up. WE CAN DO THIS!

Hi Cherry,
Thanks for stopping by, I don't mind rambling! It's so good for you that those headaches have stopped. It's amazing how much better you feel after eating right and exercising. I have only been exercising a few days and I already feel so much better. It makes me wonder why was so hard before. So strange...
 
i know, it feels really good to exercise and eat right. i haven't gotten to the point where clothes are loose or anything like that, but mentally and emotionally i'm feeling sooo much healthier and starting to get some confidence back. i'm in this for the long-term....i know it's going to be a long and hard journey but i'm not giving up. WE CAN DO THIS!

Yes, we can do this. I can't even wait til that moment when I can say that I've done it! It's gonna be such an awesome time. And all the successful moments getting there is gonna be fantastic. :)
 
Today at Curves I felt a bit dizzy. Not sure what was going on. But then I started feeling a little bit better. The stretching after the workout felt REALLY good. I love stretching.

Anyway, I'm on my way to the store to buy some stuff to make some Greek hamburgers. Using lean ground beef instead of lamb. It's a great way to make burgers cuz there's so many veggies involved. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. lol. I'll post again later tonight.
 
Hmm, I just weighed myself and I'm 313.6. Not that I mind, but it seems really odd to me, since I skipped Sunday and Monday exercise. Makes me wonder if there's something wrong with the scale. I'm gonna weight myself at Curves too. But hey, I'll take it. :)
 
So, the Curves scale said 315.6. I think I'll just go by the Curves scale and leave mine alone. I don't want two scales confusing me or making me upset.
 
i had a few 'weighing-scale' issues a couple of weeks back that really upset me...so i ended up buying myself a good quality scale for the house (luckily i got it at a sale half-off), and now weigh everyday.

i'd suggest if you decide to use the gym scale then use that one all the time or if its the home scale then use that one every time. it's funny how a number can make or break our day huh? but great to see your still progressing well :hurray:

So, the Curves scale said 315.6. I think I'll just go by the Curves scale and leave mine alone. I don't want two scales confusing me or making me upset.
 
i'd suggest if you decide to use the gym scale then use that one all the time or if its the home scale then use that one every time.

Yes, that's exactly what I'll do. :)



So...Just checking in with my journal...

I've been doing all right.

I had one bad day where I kinda binged a lot. Ugh. Though, I'll try to exercise it out and keep the rest of the week okay.

I have a wedding to go to Saturday. I wish I was in better shape and looking mighty fine. However, I am looking forward to it none the less. I have an awesome black outfit - pleated top, that flares out when I turn the slightest, and some nice black slacks. I'm wearing an awesome coral color necklace with it, with matching coral heels.

I love clothes. I'm telling you, once I get down a to a good size there will be no stopping me from dressing so good every chance I get. It's one of the things I'm looking forward to - being able to go into any store and pick out anything on the rack. It'll be AMAZING. Now, seems like I'm limited to Lane and Bryant, Fashion Bug, The Avenue, and Catherines. So sad!

I think I'll do okay with the wedding food. I figure I just won't eat too much of whatever they're serving. And maybe I'll share my piece of cake with someone.

Anyhoo... That's all for me right now. Update again soon.
 
Every time I see the show Clean House I always think to myself that I'd like to be the same size as Niecy Nash. I think her size on me would be perfect. I'm about 5' 5 and a half, I think. I always say I'm 5'6''. I think that if I were to get thin then I'd have the same physique as Niecy.

Here's her pic:

I don't want to get super thin, just the right size.

Anyway, just rambling...
 
heya,
just checking in....let me see, first i wanted to say i LOVE how you describe how much you love the outfit your going to wear for the wedding your going for. i think you have a really great attitude and great self-confidence!

my self-confidence got knocked down completely especially the last two years and i'm only starting to get it back little by little and it feels great!

i totally know what you mean about looking forward to shopping off the rack of any store under the sun....and it's gonna happen, for YOU, for ME, for all of us who are on this journey. all my life i've only been to plus size stores but that's all going to be in the past.

i just saw the pic you put up, i haven't seen clean house, but i'm sure i've seen her acting in some show, and i totally love her figure too! i've also never desired to be thin, i think slim is the term i'd prefer basically a weight that's healthy and i can be happy with.

k, just thought i should check in! have fun at the wedding, i'm sure you'll look FABULOUS! all the best xoxo
 
Thanks Cherry!

The wedding was really fun - I felt a bit out of place because all these barbie doll girls where there. Thin, stick-figured, beautiful blondes everywhere you look. And here I am completely FAT. But hey, I still looked good, nonetheless. Though, whatever, that's a confidence thing that I have to get over.

I ate TOO much. They had this table that had nothing but candy on it. I don't even remember how many molten chocolate balls I ate, or hershey's kisses or m&m's!

But I felt really good after I looked up the calories for molten chocolate balls - it's only like 180 calories for like 18 of them. That's not bad at all! I had about 25 chocolate balls I would guess. I kept eating them! lol. And I had cake. And the roast for dinner. I had ENOUGH.

Today I am taking it easy with the food. Really easy. I only at a little bit of breakfast, and some strawberries. I plan on a small dinner. And I exercised first thing this morning. And I plan on doing some more exercises tonight before bed. I just don't want those calories to effect my Tuesday weigh in. I don't want to go backwards. But see, I'm learning. I had a bad day yesterday in terms of food - but hey, I had fun at the wedding and I enjoyed myself, and now I'm evening it out so it doesn't hurt me.

Anyway, that's all from me. I'm actually looking forward to the Tuesday weigh in. I'm hoping for a weight loss, and that will give me confidence that even though I messed up, I can still come back with a kick.
 
I weighed myself just for giggles, and well, I'm not laughing. It's 315. And since my home scale seems to be two pounds lighter than the one at Curves that makes me like 317 I guess!

I'm blaming it on the wedding and that candy that I couldn't control myself over. Okay, I gotta be sensible here. If I gained two pounds that would mean that I would have to have ate 7000 calories over my limit. And I know I ate candy and cake, but dammit, I didn't eat 7000 calories worth. So I should calm down here and look at the logic.

It's probably an error in the scales. I'll just weigh myself Tuesday like I'm supposed to, at Curves, and I'll see then. I told myself that I wouldn't weigh myself at home, cuz now I'm freaking out, and I know I should just calm down!
 
I'm thinking here, and I'm wondering if I'm taking myself seriously or not. I had a few days this week where I didn't care what I ate, I just ate it. And that's not usually my mentality. And I have tears in my eyes right now because I'm wondering if yet again I am setting myself up to fail. It's something that I always do subconsciously when I am dieting.

So I think I'm gonna step it up a notch. I'm still going to eat the things that I want, but I am really gonna crack down on calorie counting - something else that I have not been doing, and I know better, because calories are the main thing. I think if I do this, then I'll understand my weight better.

I'm gonna step it up a notch exercising too. The Curves workout really exhausts me. When I get tired I slack a lot, but no more, I'm gonna push myself. It's really important for me to do this.

I want to get out of the 300's as fast as I can. I've been too lackluster for my own good.
 
Food today...

B: Pancakes, Sugar-Free Syrup, Low Fat Margarine (385 Calories)
S: Banana and a couple of Chips (95 Calories)
L: Thai Noodles (About 300 Calories)
S: No Snack
D: T-Bone Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Corn (1041 Calories)
S: Apple Bites (190 Calories)


I had a lot of heavy food today. I feel much better when I eat lighter foods. I gotta watch out for that.


Total Calories: 2011 Calories

Goal of Calories: 2038

Exercise: 30 Minutes of Curves, 10 minutes of Cardio (I tried to do more, but my legs kept cramping up on me, I had to stop)
 
My weigh in today was 315.2

So, at least it wasn't a two pound gain like I thought before. However, I am gonna watch myself close this week. I have a mini goal of 6 more lbs by the 21st, which is my official weight in of the month with Curves. I think that's doable.
 
Had a good workout today.

Man it is tiring though. I'm doing Curves Star program, and I have a little card that I put into each machine and then when the workout is done I can see my progress, if I'm getting stronger or weaker and even how many calories I burned.

Keeps me on top of my game.

Okay, I should slap myself because this morning I weighed in. Hasn't my last few posts been all about not weighing myself? LOL, wtf is my problem?

Anyway, I weighed in at 314.6 this morning. Maybe I should just start weighing myself everyday, I'll join the weight yourself everyday club.
 
LOL! the weighing scale issue i think bugs a whole bunch of people on this forum, and i'm one of the victims too. The day i bought my weighing scale first thing i joined was the weigh yourself everyday club because i knew i couldn't go more than a day without seeing my weight. the first few weeks were great since everyday i'd loose a little. but the last few days i've been the same and that's when it starts to play on your mind. i'm thinking of giving myself a few days off from the scale, but i'm 100% sure i'll still weigh in anyway...lol!


Had a good workout today.

Man it is tiring though. I'm doing Curves Star program, and I have a little card that I put into each machine and then when the workout is done I can see my progress, if I'm getting stronger or weaker and even how many calories I burned.

Keeps me on top of my game.

Okay, I should slap myself because this morning I weighed in. Hasn't my last few posts been all about not weighing myself? LOL, wtf is my problem?

Anyway, I weighed in at 314.6 this morning. Maybe I should just start weighing myself everyday, I'll join the weight yourself everyday club.
 
Scale issues! Argh so annoying.. I had a really good digital set that got moisture in them and got ruined :( So last week I went and bought a new very cheap set, and they are crap, when you go to use them you have to adjust it to zero and then when you get off they are not on zero again.. so I don't know, pretty sure they are way inacurate!

I also am trying not to weigh myself everyday, as there is always going to be fluctuations and I think once a week is a better plan, but it is really hard to resist!! LOL I weighed myself today, and no loss.. and now I am slightly bummed.... see.. stupid stupid stupid LOL

Take care, and don't beat yourself up! YOu are doing great!
 
Hi dreamingblue, way to go on the weight you've already lost, and don't be too hard on yourself if you have days that aren't quite as good as others. I think the main thing is to learn from those bad days, and hold yourself accountable by documenting all the food you eat on those bad days (as well as the good).

I like the fitday program because you can add your moods too. When I first started out, I found a pattern of eating when I was stressed, bored, or had a feeling of needing to celebrate something. I think finding out these triggers is essential to success because we can then find alternative ways to cope instead of reaching for food.
 
i'm thinking of giving myself a few days off from the scale, but i'm 100% sure i'll still weigh in anyway...lol!

lol! Yeah, it can be so tempting. I think the best solution, so you don't drive yourself crazy, is just to weigh yourself when you want to weight yourself. But just have low expectations. When you step on the scale, expect to GAIN. That way, if you stay the same, lose a little, or you DO gain, then you're not terribly disappointed. Stepping on the scale and expecting to see some weight loss is the wrong thing to do I think...

I gotta keep that in mind.


Take care, and don't beat yourself up! YOu are doing great!

Thanks! Yeah, I gotta not beat myself up about it, I gotta think of it in another way, like I was saying to Cherry.

I like the fitday program because you can add your moods too. When I first started out, I found a pattern of eating when I was stressed, bored, or had a feeling of needing to celebrate something. I think finding out these triggers is essential to success because we can then find alternative ways to cope instead of reaching for food.

Yeah, I think I'm starting to see my triggers - It's boredom and when I start to think negative thoughts about whatever. If I keep busy, I could go hours without eating and feel fine. I gotta keep busy doing something!
 
B: Cinnamon Cereal, Non Fat Milk (300 Calories)
S: None
L: Grilled Cheese, Strawberries and Honey (287 Calories)
S: A few pieces of Chocolate :( (318 Calories)
D: Subway Turkey Sandwich and Sour Cream and Onion Chips, with a Diet Coke. (630 Cals)
S: Few Bites of Mango with Bleu Cheese and Honey (about 100 calories) - Decided to have Sugar Free Ice Cream instead (170 Calories)

Total Calories: 1805 Calories

Exercise: 30 Minutes Curves

So, I've been doing Curves for 2 weeks. And I think I feel my stomach getting tighter. It's very

weird. I don't necessarily feel it in my muscles. I know I haven't lost enough weight to see

dramatic changes. I don't think I've lost any inches. But I feel like better posture and tighter

muscles that makes standing and sitting easier.


For desert tonight I spent like 2 hours cooking this Mango with Bleu Cheese and Honey - I always like to try different stuff, but this stuff made me gag. lol I will never eat this again, at least not with the Bleu Cheese. I only ate a couple of bites, because that's all I could stomach.

The thing about it was I like Mangos, I like Honey, and I like Bleu Cheese. But together.... NO WAY. I think the Toasted Rub I used on this would be great on meat or even used on mangos again, but with whipped cream.

It's very healthy cuz it's basically mango. With a bit of Blue Cheese.

If you'd like to try this recipe yourself, I seen it on the Food Network and I had to try it:




K, Night all!
 
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