Don't lie just say you are fat

P

Primate

New member
When I mention I am fat I get many responses. I am not sure what the best way is to tell someone they are fat but, I thought I would share some of the things I have heard that have helped me get and stay fat. I am an honesty is the best policy kind of guy. If someone asks me if they are getting fat I have no problem simply saying yes. If I sugar coat it I am only helping them continue with the delusion that they are not fat ( or getting fat ).


You are not fat you are just a big guy.

You are not fat you are my teddy bear.

No you just have a little extra.

You don't need to loose weight you just need to exercise a little.

I don't want you to loose weight I just want you to be healthy.

I think you look fine.

I still love you.... or..... I love you just the way you are.

Have you lost weight? ... ( I hear this every time I visit my family. Most cases I have gained weight. )


I pose these as a way NOT to tell someone they are fat. I think these comments only enable someone not to look at the truth of their weight situation.
 
Good Post

Hey,

you know what I agree. As a personal trainer a lot of people expected me to say, "Your not fat, you just need a good plan"

Much to their surprise I would say, "If you don't take control of your weight problems they can lead to many health problems"

At first they would be a bit offended but then the would realize that it is important to lose weight.

SO, thank you for bringing this up. I think it is a big help for people.

What do you want to accomplish for your health?
 
When people mention they are fat I wait to hear what other information they are offering with that statement. If they don't offer any info eg. I am going to see a dietician, start a serious exercise program etc. I assume it is attention seeking or a pity party and ask them what they are going to do about it.

I guess sometimes people don't know how to respond when a person starts feeling sorry for themselves and is not doing anything about it or putting some sort of positive spin on things. So in turn they try to say something nice to lighten the depressing situation.
 
I hate when people say "Oh you aren't fat." I'm not putting myself down, I am fat. I'm getting less fat.

That would be like someone saying "Oh, you aren't good looking." Obviously I am, why deny it?
 
If you've ever dealt with a female between the ages of - say 13 and 25 (though some slightly older) who might be perfectly fine.. they have conditioned themselves to say that they are fat.. when the truth is they are not.. and have the time it's neediness on their part for people to tell them they aren't fat..

me - I'm old -fat and ugly... Just trying to get less fat -can't do much with the old and ugly part.. :D
 
When women are confronted with the perfect woman on an hourly basis then of course they are going to think they are fat.
 
No one ever asks me if hey are getting fat. I wish they would so I could say why dont you join me at the gym at leave it at that...
 
I sometimes wait until they mention that they have a health problem that I know is often weight related, and then I tell them that losing weight can help correct it. :sifone:

But I talk about my fat openly a lot, and tell people my plans (it makes me accountable). Often by then they'll join in too and tell me what they want to do and I tell them what I'm trying and what they could try. I find when I am confident about my weight, and weight loss that people feel more comfortable talking to me about their weight.
 
I've had people say stuff to me like this before. Mostly I brought it upon myself, but I couldn't help it.

I'm sure everyone's seen or heard that mega-skinny girl that's like 90 pounds complaining about how disgustingly, morbidly fat she is. And whenever I hear a skinny girl say something like that, I just have this urge to yell at them. What right do they have to complain about their weight when they're so thin? And especially when, sitting right next to them, is a person twice their size?

So a lot of the time, I'll say, "You're not fat," and they'll reply, "Yes, I am, do you SEE my stomach?" And they'll point at the tiny .0000001% of fat they have on their bodies. At that point, I get pissed off and say, "You're not fat, damn it. I'm fat." And then they'll go, "You're not fat! What're you talking about?!" And then of course, I say, "Well you just said that you were fat, right? So if I'm twice your size what does that say about what you think of me?" And then they go, "That's different, though." And it really isn't. I guess I just get really annoyed at those people 'cause they're so ungrateful.

But um, back on topic:
My parents were the ones who told me all that kind of crap. My dad would always say, "Don't worry, it's just baby fat, you'll grow into it. When you get taller you'll just thin out." So I think that kind of led to me not believing my weight was a problem that needed to be managed, but one that would just go away on its own.
 
:iagree:

Sometimes I look at my husband and plead with him to just say babe you are getting heavier and you should try to do more exercise! but he won't. . LOL. . guess I really did train him well. .LMAO. .no but really I KNOW I am fat but when I have a husband always telling me more cushion and this and that is good then I get to comfortable. That is why I am damned and determined to lose it before he comes home!!

(jpsone) I completely understand what you mean about skinny people and I used to think the same think I used to want to smack the tar out of people like that until I got to know a few people with eating disorders and ever since then I just give my most honest opinion to whom ever it is. .like some one else mentioned if I am over weight and say something about it say something like maybe you should just go tot he gym a few more times a week or if they are to skinny I would say I would kill for your body or honestly you are to skinny! don't get me wrong there are a lot of people who do it just for attention but you never know what lies underneath. ;D I just thought I would put that out there too.
 
It's not up to other people to tell you. You need to acknowledge it yourself. Sure it might help if people are honest but it is up to you.
 
I work in a mental health facility and my clients offer me very little in terms of fluff or deflection when it comes to my obesity.

One of my clients looked upon me with awe when we first met. He asked me a long series of questions about what it's like to be my size. Do I sink when I swim? Do I make a big splash? Do I eat animals whole? Etc.

Sometimes it’s difficult to hear “Wow, you’re so fat” even when there is absolutely no malice associated with the comment, but I think there’s something to be said for having a regular dose of unfiltered feedback. :)
 
Schwa said:
Sometimes it’s difficult to hear “Wow, you’re so fat” even when there is absolutely no malice associated with the comment, but I think there’s something to be said for having a regular dose of unfiltered feedback. :)
Click to expand...

I agree. One of the main motivating factors was a talk my doctor had with me last year...she basically sat me down and told me exactly where my morbid obesity was taking me: congestive heart failure, stroke, diabetes, etc. She sent me to the emergency room with extremely high blood pressure. I was weeks away from my 33rd birthday. It didn't really become clear to me until that moment that I was morbidly obese and starting to suffer serious health problems due to it.

I don't think it does people any good to sugarcoat it. Didn't help me.
 
Wow thanks for all the replies!

I agree with most of what everyone has said. Also I wanted to point out I am talking about someone telling you that you are fat in a constructive way not just to be mean.

I also agree with one reply in particular

"mom24monsters: I have a husband always telling me more cushion and this and that is good then I get to comfortable."

This really is the point I am trying to get at with this thread. We have to convince ourselves to some extent that we are not getting fatter and when we get feedback agreeing that we don't need to loose weight it prolongs the issue.

If your husband or wife, Brother or sister, best friend or an acquaintance at work, was smoking crack all day and asked you if you thought they were a junky you would have no problem saying hell ya, how can I help you stop. Why can't people do the same thing for us fat folk. Do you think I am fat, hell ya but, how can I help you loose weight. I know many many people, including myself, both need and want this type of a reply. With so many fat people everywhere you would not think that loosing weight was a lonely journey but it is. The more constructive support the better!

Now my open approach is not for everyone. Some people will take the honesty poorly, shut down and give up. So make sure you know the person well enough before you acknowledge their fatness. ;)

So next time someone points out that you are fat, Don't get mad or depressed. Thank them for loving you enough to tell you the truth!
 
Whenever I was in my 180's Id get the phrase, "Well...you dont LOOOK that big..." with a wondering eye look.
hahahahaha
 
LOL. .I here that! If I mentioned to anyone I was trying to lose weight they would just say your not fat. Trust me I am NOT looking for compliments!!!! I just look them and say well when you see me naked then you can tell me that ;) but they always say I hide it well. .probably cause I always have on a hoodie.
 
circa 2002-2005

Mom's standard prelude to Xmas shopping:

Mom: : "Randy, are you still wearing XXXL or ........"

Me: *blank look because of the ........*

Throwing suggestive non-vocal air at the end of a sentence hurts more than words itself, in this case. Punitively delicate as only a mother could deliver. I can't blame her, tho.
 
I have a larger co-worker, and another co-worker who keeps pussy footing about and acting like its that pink elephant.
Having been overweight i keep telling the second one to stop being an ass and acting like it doesnt exist, you dont have to make a big deal about it, but equally dont sit and pretend its not there!
He ignores my advice though and always seems to feel ambarassed and uncomfortable when the conversations come up, even though hes the only one who feels that way.
The other guy is trying to do something i think, but still not quiet in the right mindset.
 
Primate said:
When I mention I am fat I get many responses. I am not sure what the best way is to tell someone they are fat but, I thought I would share some of the things I have heard that have helped me get and stay fat. I am an honesty is the best policy kind of guy. If someone asks me if they are getting fat I have no problem simply saying yes. If I sugar coat it I am only helping them continue with the delusion that they are not fat ( or getting fat ).


You are not fat you are just a big guy.

You are not fat you are my teddy bear.

No you just have a little extra.

You don't need to loose weight you just need to exercise a little.

I don't want you to loose weight I just want you to be healthy.

I think you look fine.

I still love you.... or..... I love you just the way you are.

Have you lost weight? ... ( I hear this every time I visit my family. Most cases I have gained weight. )


I pose these as a way NOT to tell someone they are fat. I think these comments only enable someone not to look at the truth of their weight situation.
Click to expand...

People are scared to be honest with one another. I get the same reactions all the time if I say that I'm fat.

"What? Nooooo, you're not fat. You're just husky."
"Dude, you're not fat. Mario Batali, now HE'S fat."
"You're big boneded."
"I don't think you're fat at all. You're just JOLLY."

Honestly though, I'm not at all surprised when I get reactions like that. But, at the same time, I can understand why people (especially friends and family) wouldn't say something like "WOW, you ARE fat, you fat lard".

Personally, I like honesty. I don't like it when people sugar-coat things and beat around the bush. It might sting a little, but honesty is always the best policy, no matter what. I've always been completely straight forward with people and I appreciate it when they are straight forward with me.

I'm fat. I know I'm fat. You know I'm fat. We all know I'm fat. So, just tell me that I'm fat and stop lying to me.
 
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