Do or die...julietxagogo's diary

J

julietxagogo

New member
So, let's just cut to the chase.

I'm 19...if you want to get technical I'm almost 20, but who cares about those technicalities. I'm so unhealthy. It's ridiculous. I don't drink, I don't smoke...and it's obvious that I don't know karate (really bad joke). I'm the kind of girl who let all of the teasing get to her through junior high and high school (but who can blame me?) Before I moved here to Texas, I had been on Weight Watchers and had lost a great deal of weight. But when I moved here, I got extremely depressed and was dealing with a lot of emotional problems. After I got of high school, I got deeply involved with someone and moved away to Pennsylvania....good times good times. Around that time I was "tipping the scales" at 290. I become uninvolved. Helllooooooo FOOODDD! How else could I drown my sorrows? Now, I'm a nicely robust 325 (as if you can make that sound good) and I just saw my dad nearly have a heart attack. He's 40 and weighs the same as me. Luckily for me, I'm seeing this at half his age and the main reason I want to lose weight is for me. For my health. I want to live to have children, grandchildren, and dare I say it….GREAT grandchildren. I want to be able to walk up three flights of stairs to the floor I work on without feeling like I'm about to die of a heart attack.

It's been a long time since I've melodramatic about my weight. Heck, I really don't care what people think/and or say about me. I think I'm beautiful just the way I am. It's just...I don't want to die at 40 when I could extend my life for so much longer.

I want to have a life style change. This isn't about losing twenty pounds in time for the family reunion or being able to fit in that dress at the back of my closet that I bought when I was sixteen. This is about teaching myself good habits that I can not only utilize throughout life but pass on to my children (if God willing).

According to those blasted BMI/Height-Weight Charts, I'm supposed to be AT THE MOST 185. I don't think I'll ever weight that little, because I'm naturally a big person. My frame is big, and I know I'll never be a size six. I can accept that. I'll be quite content at 200 and holding.

I think my goal is realistic. I don’t want to wake up and be thin. I don’t want to wake up and be healthy. I know it’s going to be hard work. I want to start now, but I honestly don’t know what steps to take. You read all of these things about this diet works and this one doesn’t. Like I said, I’m not looking for a diet, I’m looking for a life style change. I know certain things are no brainers…get out and exercise…don’t eat the fried chicken, have the grilled instead….but I just need the motivation. I don’t have many people in my life, and those that are in my life are equally as overweight as I am but make the proclamation that “I LOVE FOOD AND I’LL EAT WHAT I WANT!” Well I love food too, but I love myself more.

I’m sort of…lost if you will.
 
Hi Julie

Welcome to WLF. You've come to the right place for motivation and support. The people here are amazing. The only real way to do this is to make a complete lifestyle change and you've already made that decison. I think those height and weight charts just do not fit everyone even though they are applied to everyone.

For lots of good information on nutrition and exercise you should read the stickied threads in the weight loss through exercise section and the nutrition section.

Good Luck on your journey and don't be afraid to ask questions
~Jenna
 
Thanks Jenna. It's nice to meet you :)

I've been doing some reading around here and I'm trying to take in as much as I can about things that seem like a good idea to me. I know after a while, I'll be able to form my own habits and changes.

I've decided the best thing I can do at the time being is be aware of what I eat and how much I eat. My eating habits in general are horrendous because I don't have much time in my day. I order out with my co-workers and grab things whenever I can. That's what really gets me. I tried something though that really amazed me. We went to Wendy's for our..."dinner" although it was practically one in the morning. I had the Chunky Chicken Salad Frescata, fries, and a drink. Then, I went the look at the nutritional facts on everything I had. I was astounded at exactly how much crap there was in those foods. I mean it's a no brainer that fries=bad and the coke=just as bad. That's something that everyone can agree on if they can't agree on anything else. When I added up the calories, fats, etc I realized that it was pretty bad. Sadly, that was one of the BETTER choices. I mean sure, I could've gotten water and a fruit side blah blah blah, but that meal as a whole was around 1097.

I don't know. Right now, I'm just going to start paying more attention to what I eat. I'm going to keep little notes about what I'm eating and the nutritional facts. Sometimes, seeing is believing. Someone can tell me over and over that it's bad for me, but it's one of those things that I just sort of have to see it for myself, and see how it effects me. I guess I'm selfish like that.

Hell, if I wasn't selfish, I wouldn't have gained all of this bloody weight.
 
Well damn... it seems Jenna got to you first. She's good like that. Ha! Hi there. My name's Sheryl and I just wanted to also welcome you to the WLF. I've been reading a few new members' (hate the damn term "newbies") diaries and honestly, you seem to be one of the few who has set realistic goals. Kudos to you. :) As long as you understand "lifestyle change" as opposed to "quick diet plan," then you're going to do well. Here are a few things you may want to consider when starting up a plan:

1. Read other journals to get a feel for guidelines: meal plans, workouts, etc
2. Calculate your BMR ad figure out how mnay calories you are allotted daily. Do not go below those calories. If you do, you're body will go into a starvation mode.. that's where those dreaded ass plateaus come into play. As long as you eat clean, you'll do just fine... and you won't find yourself starving.
3. Try eating 5-6 meals a day spaced throughout. It'll keep your metabolism up and burning.
4. Drink at least 8c of water. (helps with metabolic processes)
5. Create a workout that you can keep up with. Don't push yourself too had from the get go or you'll burn out quickly.
6. If you need more help, support, motivation, etc check out or Both are free and I started spark people a month ago and absolutely lovely it!
7. Last but not least, have fun and be proud of yourself for figuring all of this out while you're still young. :D

You can do this, girly.

-Sheryl
 
Thanks Sheryl :)

My biggest fight, and I already know this, is my schedule. I go to school from 2:30 pm to 5:30 pm and then I work from 6pm to 6am. So in retrospect, I'm not going to have any time WHATSOEVER. So like I said, my main fight is going to be trying to eat all that I'm supposed to eat without trying to starve myself. In all honesty, my problem is that I don't eat enough...and my body holds on to everything that I eat...which is generally junk anyways. When you've got a tight schedule, it's easier to grab a chicken sandwhich from McDonalds than to have something good.

I don't know, does anyone have any suggestions?
 
I've been doing some thinking and I've decided to do a little experiment. Since I'm going to be really strapped on time, and to save some money as well, I decided that I need to start packing my lunch...in a little lunch pail...that way I can monitor what I'm eating when I'm not at home. I bought though little 100 calorie packs of like the mini cookies that way I can still eat something that taste that I'm being bad, but it's not near as bad. I also started packing fruits in my lunch as well. I guess it's the little things that count. Whenever I start craving something, and I know I'm not hungry I chew gum...I've found that I'm doing that alot lately lol. But I'm not starving myself. By any means, I'm still going over my daily calories although I'm not going over them by 2000. It's amazing how it all looks on paper. I wasn't eating very often, but when I was eating, I was binging. :eek: Lol. Who'dve thunk.
 
So I finally gathered the guts to take pics of myself so I can have my before pictures...which at the moment are my current pictures.



I weighed myself and I have these stats:

Age: 20
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 328
BMI: 47.1


So, here I go. My first official weigh in is on Monday.
 
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