Did it before and I will do it again

R

Reloaded1

New member
So this is my diary... Again...

This is not my first visit to this forum and this is not my first username here. I will not post who I was because I am afraid of looking like a failure- instead I will simply be 'Reloaded'.
My story:

I have had a great relationship with food my entire life. I love it and it loves me. I love eating all types of food and in quantity. I grew up poor and there was never enough for everyone to have seconds- so the fastest eater got them, and I was always the fastest eater. This was great until my metabolism slowed and got an office job. I ballooned up to 270lbs and looked terrible and felt terrible. I had smoked since I was 16 and was in terrible shape. I went to see a doctor around my 31st birthday and was told my numbers sucked and I needed to make changes. So i did.
I enjoyed it a lot.
I quit smoking and took up running.
I went from 270 to 210 in around 9 months and looked and felt great. I ran a half marathon and trained for a full- burned out at the end but still ran 18 miles straight. I looked great and was strong and healthy. Then the bottom fell out.

My son was born and he took up all of my time that I had to exercise. Slowly he became the excuse for me not going but it was more because I simply was tired. I then lost my job. All sorts of stress and issues started and I slowly stopped working out altogether. Bottom line- I stepped on the scale 4 months ago and I was 280. All the work and all the time i put in was erased and I was fat and out of shape again.

I decided fuck it and to try to start over.
So I swallowed hard and signed up for Weight Watchers. The freedom and flexibility helps me. I am able to eat what I want and just watch the quantities. I also began running again. OMG how hard that was. To look at the time and distance and be so depressed at how far I fell from where I was and how bad I was- but I was doing it again. I have gotten better but still have not gotten anywhere near to all the way back. I recently began lifting weights again- I told myself when I got down to 250 I would start adding weights- and holy crap how sore I was and how weak I am, but i am doing it again.

So here I am. A 39 year old man turning 40 in a little over 2 months. Married with a beautiful 5 year old boy. Trying to get himself back in shape. I am happy I am back to under 250 but that is not what it is all about to me. I want to be stronger and run better/longer than I am. Fitness is more important to me than weight. So I am working towards it. My weight goal is a modest 225- I think I can hit it and maintain it better than 200 or 210. I am not training for a half or full marathon anytime soon- longest I will do is a 10k- so I am able to focus on shorter runs and build up speed and endurance.

So that is why I am Reloaded. I am Reloaded with confidence, Reloaded with ambition and Reloaded with the motivation to get fitter and weigh less.

If you got this far thank you for reading- and hello. :)
 
So here I am.
In the office today and contemplating working out on the way home.
Did some weights and 20 minutes of elliptical yesterday but went over on WW points. They keep lowering my points... I mean I know they kind of need to to continue with the loss but man it gets a little restricting.

Salad and some melon for lunch- it is exciting and colorful!!
 
So I ended up not going to work out yesterday and that was ok- I had gone a lot in the previous days but I binge ate when I got home, which is not good. Obviously I am not eating enough during the day if I am going to do that so I will adjust to not back load as much.

Only ran today. Longest run of this new evolution of me- 4.08 in 40.
Overall I feel good about what I am doing with this.
so yay for me...
 
Oh- and why do people not show up for job interviews??
I drove 2 and a half hours to interview a guy for an opening I have and he no shows...
I spoke to him yesterday morning. He knew I had a long drive...
Irresponsible people are irresponsible.
 
Rough day yesterday. Being a parent of a 5 yo is so hard sometimes.
I want to run today but I also want to take a nap... I hate when I feel like this. Maybe I will run- not really motivated but we will see.
 
Ended up running today- made myself do it and I actually felt a little better at the end. 4.25 miles in a little over 43 minutes. I really thought I went faster but obviously the gps doesnt lie...
Problem is it is still coldish here and I have an issue I usually get while running in this type of weather- I sneeze and my nose gets very stuffed up. I fell terrible for a day or so but then move on until the next time.
Doing ok on points- had a pretty light day because I grilled steak and made a baked potato for tonights dinner.

That is all.
 
Weigh in was pretty decent this morning.
I spent some time yesterday looking for races in my area- unfortunately there is not a lot. I would rather not drive into Chicago for a 5k. I kinda want to do something for a decent cause as well but that is secondary.

At work today. In the office trying to get motivated but really lacking any. I am not sleeping great and just feel off, not sick but just off.
Oh well. Contemplating working out after work but not sure if my health is up to snuff for it. Maybe weights and and a 20 min elliptical if I go.
 
Been away for a bit. Traveled to Philly for work and ate decent- nothing too bad or good, didn't exercise at all though. Came home Wednesday and worked out Thursday, Friday and today. Just ran Thursday and did weights and run on Friday. Ran out side today! finally, 70 degrees and clear skies. 4 miles felt good but a little tweaky hamstring at the end.
Weight good this morning, I have begun losing again and cleared another plateau. Makes me happy to see it go down again.
 
I was a runner too. And I want to get back to running when i am little fit. I don't have the strength to run more than 5 mins without panting, but I am working out and building it slowly. It was less than 2 mins last week. Today, I ran 5 mins without stopping. We can do this, Reloaded. Good that you decided to return. Fresh start!!
 
Thank you Quercus- I have the most trouble controlling portion sizes, I have always like being active but when you eat a ton it really doesn't matter how active you are since the weight will pack on.

Thank you as well amberlace. When I got back into running- for the third or fourth time...- I was going 5 run 2 walk to try to build myself back up to it. It was so hard I wondered why the hell I was doing it. Then a switch flipped and it started to work again. Breathing evened out and I began to gain speed and distance. We can do this- just need to want to and be consistent.
 
Ran outside for the only the third time this Saturday- the weather in the Midwest has been terrible and to be honest I hate running in the cold and wind. Went 4 miles but remembered that hills are hard. I have a balky right hamstring and I need to remember that. It is usually not and issue on the treadmill since there are no hills but it can become tweaked outside. I lost almost an entire season a few years ago due to a messed up hamstring.

Eating was meh this weekend. Went to my parents house for brunch and an early Easter and while I did not do great I did not do terrible. I do not anticipate a loss this week but I will not be terribly upset if that happens.

Traveling to Minneapolis tomorrow- oh joy. I pray the hotel has a decent 'fitness room' because it is still to damn cold to run outside.
 
So it is snowing something fierce in Minneapolis- crazy for this time of year. So no running outside for me. Last 2 days on the treadmill- not terrible but it is hard to stay motivated always on it.
Eating has been decent- making good choices.

Down a pound :)
 
Yay for 1lb gone. You're doing so well!! Also, what's with the weather? Ugh. I think we're skipping spring in the NorthEast too.
 
Been a while since I posted here- I really need to get int he habit of posting regularly.

@amberlace- we might finally have some sort of Spring here- not sure but it looks like it will happen. I hope so :)

Had a decent weekend overall but did not do the best at Easter. Didnt eat a ton but did not have the best day either. I will be fine and all that but it just is annoying how I cannot handle portions when I am out and hungry. I really wish there was something I could do- no pills or any crap like that- to help me not eat like an asshole when I am at a gathering or something.

Anyway- 5 mile run on Saturday. Longest run of the season which makes me happy. Going to run today but probably on the treadmill since it is supposed to rain.
 
So did not lose this week but ran the fastest 30 minutes I have in a very long time. So even though the weight is staying out for now I am getting better with the fitness aspect of all this. I ate pretty bad all week and went off of WW more than I should have so at least I know where I went wrong.
I am trying to get a handle on things but it is proving to be harder than it was last time. I have every confidence that I can do it but am starting to have doubts if I will be able to maintain when it is all said and done. I think i can but I also think I will be tied to WW for the foreseeable future. There are worse things but I would really like to do it 'on my own' without some sort of 'program'.

Lifted a few heavy things and put them down several times at the gym yesterday as well. I need to remember to incorporate that into my workouts when I can. No point in losing a ton of muscle mass while I am at it.

Today is another day.
 
Great work on the running and lifting. I agree with you on wanting to not need a program, but at least WW includes a sensible diet instead of something too difficult and consequently temporary. Keep at it!
 
Thanks Quercus. That is why I chose WW this time around. It allows me to eat pretty much anything and teaches portion size- which has always been my issue.
 
Today is my 15 year wedding anniversary. I feel so damn old just saying that. I honestly can not believe that we made it as long as we have- our marriage was very rocky at the start.
It is just interesting to sit and reflect on what your thoughts were on a certain day and what your hopes and dreams were. My life has not turned out anywhere near what I thought it would 15 years ago but it is not bad either, just different.
No regrets at all.
 
Tough weekend overall. No exercise and terrible eating. I had no ambition to get up and do anything so I didnt get up and do anything.
I know it is not a big deal as long as i get started again today- and I will- it just irritates me that I am still having issues like this. Oh well. Had a good dinner Saturday and wouldnt change it for anything right now. I just wish I had gotten some exercise in but I should be able to today.
 
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