Diary of Semi-Neurotic Ex-Secretary Soon-to-be-Sexier Sophia

Thanks I_L_M {{{HUGS}} - I really need some encouragement sometimes even though I suck at giving it out myself cos of my stupid shyness complex which holds me back. Bah anyway.:bigear::banghead:

About red meat - yes I do like it LOTS but try to limit it.
On my current diet I'm allowed 140g of steak, so occasionally I will treat myself to some nice steak and a salad - not too often though cos of all the 'horror' stories you keep hearing about red meat and how people should stick to lean meat/fish. The reality is of course that nothing is really that bad for you as long as it's consumed in moderation.

So yeah, I will sometimes buy this wonderful lean steak from marks & spencer's, I cut the fat off the edge and weigh out 140g and it makes a marvellous dinner with a side salad and some baguette. :)

You are right about the weather in UK - it is horrible when it's cold, it gets right into your bones and chills you to death. Also we are so badly equipped here in the south-east since winters have been so much milder over the past 20 or so years, we are just not used to it.

You know, at the mo I'm sat here feeling sorry for myself and all deprived thinking : Ahhh Gawwwd I wish I could go to a mexican restaurant this weekend and have a dinner of nachos with salsa, sour cream and guacamole, fajitas and all that stuff like any normal human being. Boo hoo.

Then I say to myself : HANG ON woman, the reason you are soooo fat is because you've been pigging out for over a year, don't forget. On mexican dinners, chocolate, pizzas and God only knows what else!! So stop feeling so deprived!!

:biggrinjester: I have to tell myself off, seriously.

I mean, I used to think nothing of snacking on an entire bag of honey-roasted cashews & peanuts. That's like 5 billion calories.
No wonder I'm like a hippo right now.

So anyway yeah, moral is, that I had my fun for a year or so, had lots of lovely food and alcohol and all that stuff, and now the result is I'm fat and have to stop eating.
End Of .
Got to be strict with myself sometimes. :gnorsi:

Well I'll stop rambling now - take care I_L_M (I would call you by your first name as I_L_M sounds terribly formal) .... I shall take a peek in your diary later to see how you are getting on! :) Thanks again for stopping by !
 
sophia28 said:
Thanks I_L_M {{{HUGS}} - I really need some encouragement sometimes even though I suck at giving it out myself cos of my stupid shyness complex which holds me back. Bah anyway.:bigear::banghead:
Click to expand...

What's this about a stupid shyness complex that holds you back? I'm super shy. But don't let that stop you from giving yourself encouragement. Dig down deep and BELIEVE in yourself!

sophia28 said:
You know, at the mo I'm sat here feeling sorry for myself and all deprived thinking : Ahhh Gawwwd I wish I could go to a mexican restaurant this weekend and have a dinner of nachos with salsa, sour cream and guacamole, fajitas and all that stuff like any normal human being. Boo hoo.
Click to expand...

Don't think that you're depriving yourself. You aren't.

I'm a big fan of moderation. That's why most diets usually fail -- they're too difficult and restrictive for most people to maintain in the long-term and the individual always feels as though they are perpetually depriving themselves of the foods they enjoy.

There isn't anything wrong with a few taco chips and dip. Just don't overdo ;) [she says as she has been known to inhale a plate of nachos before anybody else has had a chance to have one!]

I actually look at food a bit differently: it's just fuel for my body. It doesn't matter where I get my calories from as long as I don't eat more than 150gm of carbs per day. That being said, some food tastes a lot better than others. But we all know what foods are healthy and what foods aren't ;)

sophia28 said:
Well I'll stop rambling now - take care I_L_M (I would call you by your first name as I_L_M sounds terribly formal) .... I shall take a peek in your diary later to see how you are getting on! :) Thanks again for stopping by !
Click to expand...

Just call me Mo :) Eventually everybody else will, too :D
 
I_love_muscle said:
What's this about a stupid shyness complex that holds you back? I'm super shy. But don't let that stop you from giving yourself encouragement. Dig down deep and BELIEVE in yourself!
Click to expand...

yeah I do have a real hang up i.e. dreadful insecurity but what I meant is that I don't dish enough encouragement to other people on here yet cos I still feel too much of a newbie to post much except my own self indulgent crap thinking probably not many people bother reading it.
I'll get over it. Just being drippy right now:) :)

I_love_muscle said:
There isn't anything wrong with a few taco chips and dip. Just don't overdo ;) [she says as she has been known to inhale a plate of nachos before anybody else has had a chance to have one!]
Click to expand...

Haha, that cracked me up. Actually that is EXACTLY why I don't allow myself to just go out for a nice meal, cos I will end up stuffing my face, honest.

I'm normally good with diets, but I have to be extremely strict with myself and not go out too often or keep bad foods in the house because one slip-up can lead to a major binge, and I cannot afford for that to happen anymore, it's happened soooo many times and my weight is now at the point that if I increase any more I'll be verging on obese (I think anyway).

I shouldn't complain, you know .... I eat enough to be full, I don't need to be fantasising about pizza and stuff, so I get annoyed with myself about that.:piggy:

Hey, I stooped by your diary - that's one hell of a massage you got there. :eek: Hope the pain was worth it!!!
I am soooooo jealous of your flexibility - left leg 8" away from your ear. Woohoo !!!
In my dreams!

Take care Mo, thanks again for the tips and advice :)
 
sophia28 said:
yeah I do have a real hang up i.e. dreadful insecurity but what I meant is that I don't dish enough encouragement to other people on here yet cos I still feel too much of a newbie to post much except my own self indulgent crap thinking probably not many people bother reading it.
I'll get over it. Just being drippy right now:) :)

Hey, I stooped by your diary - that's one hell of a massage you got there. :eek: Hope the pain was worth it!!!
I am soooooo jealous of your flexibility - left leg 8" away from your ear. Woohoo !!!
In my dreams!

Take care Mo, thanks again for the tips and advice :)
Click to expand...

I know what you mean about that. I like to get my feet wet before jumping into the deep end of the pool!!! It was a HUGE step for me to actually create a journal. It's just not something I've ever done on any forum.

Anybody can have decent flexibility -- it just takes time and you have to be constantly at it. Having another person around to help you stretch is also important.

I'm just freakishly flexible because of ballet/gymnastics/acrobatics.

If you want a good website with stretching, I have one, but it's bookmarked on my computer at home. I'll try to remember to look for it when I get there :)
 
Wow I have been MIA for so long I couldn't find my journal for ages.
But I need to come back cos I have some major accountability to do. The scales are not budging but I am working out religiously so I need to figure this out.

My major prob is evening -- I need to stop sneaking in the odd snack here at night and really be super utterly disciplined. If I go to bed hungry then so be it, I won't die.:cuss:

OK, so exercise for past week has been:

4 Feb: Turbo Jam 20 min workout + Ab Jam
5 Feb: Turbo Jam Cardio Party
6 Feb: TJ 20 minute workout + Ab Jam + Crunch Pilates/Yoga blend (due to stiffness in joints from yesterday!)
7 Feb: TJ Cardio Party
8 Feb: TJ 20 minute workout + Ab Jam
9 Feb: TJ Cardio Party
10 Feb: Rest day
11 Feb: Slim in 6 Start it up + Slim in 6 Ramp it up (morning) and then TJ Cardio Party (afternoon) cos I'm like some crazy person. And yeah I was bored. I feel fine but really really tired - in a good way. My body is thanking me after all the time I've been sat on my butt.

My diet: pretty much the same old, same old - But I have, yes, cheated a bit here and there & I reckon that's why my weight is going nowhere. Patience, self-discipline and perseverance is what it's all about.

I sit in the evening dreaming about that blasted full fat spaghetti sauce and God only knows what else. Urrgggh.. it's such an effort to stay on track. Moan, whinge, moan.



I_Love_Muscle said:
If you want a good website with stretching, I have one, but it's bookmarked on my computer at home. I'll try to remember to look for it when I get there
Click to expand...

^^^Mo, if you happen to stop by here, I would be really, really interested in this. I really want to get myself flexible and limber up proper, and I don't think a few sessions of yoga/pilates are gonna cut it. Thanks lots :)
 
Hello Sophia!!

Just keep trecking. A snack before bed might help. My sugar is supposed to be between 145 to 160 mg/dL. But I always end up even after my snack at 113 mg/dL...

I am really lost and don't know what to do lol Its not that funny...
but I totally and completely understand the urge to eat at night. I can't seem to fall asleep with out a snack, or always wake up at twelve am with a craving. lol

but I am working the kinks out of the lifestyle change, or diet. I don't like to think of it as a diet. I rebell a little, but I am making a lifestyle change. To be a healthier, sexier, and happier me.

Keep trecking with those vids hun. Pilates is awesome. I have a few vids myself of pilates.

ttylater hun
Sending good wishes today for a better everyday. Take one day at a time. You can do this!

always
Natsky:seeya:
 
Hey Natsky, :seeya: great to see ya. Thanks for popping by. {{Hugs}}

How frustrating -- I just typed a super long post and it disappeared... maybe the message forum bot decided it was too damn boring and kicked it out. :blush5:
Will have to check again in the morning cos i'm tired.

Sorry to hear you are feeling a little 'lost' but as with all our little pitfalls we just get up, dust ourselves off and start again. I know you can!!

Well I'll have to carry on tomorrow when my brain is cooperating more fully with my typing.

Sending you waves of encouragement and hugs and stuff :)

Louise :):)
 
Well with great pessimism and trepidation I weighed myself today and...ta daa...

Yay I lost 2 kilos!!

:hurray:
I believe that's 4.4 lbs.
(I still use the metric method in my mind :))


Ha, quite ironic after all my moaning in yesteday's post about the scales not moving.

Phew..... well, again proof to me that I need more patience & perseverance with this thing - as always. Annoyingly I'm one of those people who need to see effects super-quick and think 'What's the Use' instead of thinking more about the long term effects. I catch myself thinking "ooooh i need to be slim by March/April because...." bla bla bla. Pfft. March/April? I must be having a laugh.

That's a dumb outlook to have because this is not some "lose-20-kilos-in-5-minutes" thing I'm on, but I am embarking on a lifestyle change, so what's the rush?? :willy_nilly:


Natsky - just carrying on from yesterday's post, thanks for your advice on the night-time craving which is proving a problem for me.

Actually I was doing the same as you, i.e. having a bedtime snack, but I have decided now to stop doing that, and to go cold turkey.:eek2:

Reason being that I want to follow Chalene's fitness start up programme properly to get real results; .... that's Chalene from Turbo Jam, an absolute star and the most motivating fantastic instructor i've ever come across, bless her.

I already adhere to her workout rotation religiously, and then I figured I really should also use her rules in terms of eating as well. So for example she says not to eat after 7.30 pm and drink about 6-8 glasses of water a day.

Well the no eating after 7.30 pm is gonna be soooo difficult, but I have seen other people can do it, I know they can, and so there's not reason why I shouldn't.

I reckon going cold turkey will keep me more in check, compared to thinking I'm allowed some kind of snack or anything at all after dinner except water or tea.

Anyway so last night the only thing I had was 2 thin slices of lemon which is like 0 calories -- cos I have a weird lemon craving going on at the mo (weird eh) :) --- Yum yum... and that was it. Yeah i went to bed hungry but it didn't kill me.:cheers2:

Anyway, I'll be popping over to your journal to see how you're getting on. Thanks again for the kind words of encouragement :)

Take care!
:)
 
woooh congratulations on the 2 kilos... i was actually wondering the other day about where you had gone to... =P

ive been a bit preoccupied with silly boyfriend troubles... but they've been sorted again... lol i figure that if we fight occasionally its because we still care^^

oh and i think i might try that lemon trick as well =P last night i was bad... but i still lost weight.. (i weigh myself everyday to keep myself on track)

im glad your using the site more often again^^ missed you =D
 
Thanks Angelica {{ HUGS }} you're a star!

Thanks also for saying you've missed me, that's super super kind. I often feel I'm on a solo warrior mission here.
I dunno, anyway. Wherever I go I feel kind of weird. haha. Mental, me.
:biggrinjester:

Mind you I feel so overwhelmed with the amount of diaries on here that I don't know where to post or what.:blush5:


Sorry to hear about your boyfriend trouble, but yes I agree, if you argue/debate/discuss, it means you are bothered enough about each other to try to make the relationship work.
And then, you get to 'make up', which is always the best bit :) Hope things settle down.


Anyway... I am chuffed to bits re: the weight loss. I know 4 lbs maybe doesn't sound like much but at least that blasted scale is showing SOME movement in the right direction! :)

OK so my accountability for today:

Food today 12/02/09:
Breakfast:1 slice brown bread, 1 slice half fat cheddar 1 tbsp low fat mayo (God I am boring myself to death writing this down................) same old same old --- quarter pint semi-skim milk for coffees and tea, sweetener
Lunch: One third of a McVities Go Ahead fruit bar because I was eating lunch on the run.

I had no time to eat anything else, but actually I'm not suffering too badly... I'm sure the hunger monster will be visiting later on tonight, though, if I don't make up for that a bit at dinner.:reddevil:

Exercise today 12/02/09
Slim in Six Ramp It Up (45 mins)
I am just starting out with Slim in 6 to mix things up a bit, and really it's not too bad. The music sucks so I play my own stuff, you don't need to listen to her much anyway cos it's a lot of repetitive moves being counted out. It's hard work but I think will help. Am looking forward to moving on to Burn It Up, hopefully next week, which supposedly is a killer.

Turbo Jam Turbo Sculpt (45 mins)
I love Chalene to bits. This is the first time I did the sculpt one and it was hard work but made me feel great. Fab stuff

I worked out more than expected cos I had one of those days where nothing else succeded in making me feel OK -- all the usual things just felt insipid and boring. So I just got out my DVDs and and Pressed Play.:hurray:
 
Just popping in for accountability re: food/exercise....

Continuation of food of yesterday 12/02/09:
Dinner: 140g skinless grilled chicken, tomato salad, 1 tbsp low fat dressing, 1 tbsp olive oil, half of a mini (10") baguette.
I put some chicken seasoning (spices) on my chicken which made a nice change.
Half pint semi-sk. milk for coffee throughout the day.
Cup of tea 1 sugar. Later on 2 slices of lemon.
I still have this lemon-sucking fetish (sounds rude lol) ....... most bizarre. Maybe I've got scurvy or something.:ack2:

Food today 13/02/09:
Breakfast: 1 slice brown bread 1 slice half fat cheddar 1 tbsp lowfat mayo
Lunch: 1 third of a Mcvities Go Ahead fruit bar [like y'day, I didn't have time to eat]

Exercise
Turbo Jam 20 minute workout (20 mins) + Ab Jam (20 mins) + Slim in 6 Ramp It Up (45 mins)

I'm a wee bit addicted to exercise at the mo. I swear my abs don't know what's hit them. Haha.
Feeling quite positive about things today... makes a change anyway not to be freaking, worrying or moping about something.
 
CONGRATS on the weight loss, Sophia!!! Excellent work!

I'm glad you're so chuffed (I love that expression!) :)

Keep up the good work!

Have a nice weekend, too! :p
 
still have yet to try the lemon trick... idk i cant seem to stay full D:
mmm 4 pounds is amazing!!!
i wish it was that much at least every week >=D then i would hit my goal in no time... but seriously this month has just flown by... i love taking control of this part of my life =D haha although i havent quite mastered it yet... if i wouldnt cheat i would have lost like 20 pounds already... haha but you cant live your life being perfect.. what would be the fun in that? =P

mmm yeah also i think have something like being overweight... makes you take less of life for granted once you reach your goal. lol i have no clue what im going on about.
 
Hey Sophia, I came across a post of yours in mom24monsters diary and you seem very nice. I related to several comments you made and thought I'd swing over here and say hi :) Good job sticking to this even if you haven't had time to clean, lol. I'm hit and miss these days with everything but the diet. Now if I could just get off my butt and commit to an exercise routine....but then I'm always talking about that so... Anywho have a great week :) ~Lisa
 
Super thanks and hugs to Angelica Doyouknowjello & I_love_muscle for popping in for some lovely support. Thanks guys.

Angelica, with the lemon sucking thing, it's kind of bizarre... it's not that I do it to fight cravings, but I truly get some aphrodisiacal high out of sucking all the juice out, lol. :rofl:
It's bizarre but true. I would actually pass up pizza and have lemon instead. My body is a weird and wonderful thing. Well more weird than wonderful actually. Maybe I am lacking essential vitamins (the scurvy thing again).:svengo:

Well last night's food accountability to be done:
Food 13/02/09 (cont'd)
B and L as in my previous post
Dinner: 140g skinless grilled chicken breast, 160g peas, 2 tomatoes, few bits of red onion, 1 tbsp olive oil, half a mini 10" baguette. Usual half pint milk for coffees and also cup of tea with 1 sugar after dinner.

Got to get ready to work out, now, yippeeeee :) :)
 
yeah... as of monday... ive changed my list of things to do...
and added a vitamin as well as just self care...
which simply means like moisturizing my skin and keeping up appearances.

heheh...the reason i mentioned that is because.... of the vitamin...
have you thought of taking a vitamin? i know i have a hard time
getting all my nutrients in and whatnot =P soo that helps out alot.
 
^^^Ooohh - Belated thanks, you guys, for the happy Valentine's Day. :hug2:
I just stayed in and watched Lakeview Terrace - HOW EXCITING AM I??

Well today met up with the ex who's back from out of town ...... ah yeah Angelica - you asked about him the other day and yep we are best friends - he's like one of the best guys you would ever meet, really really generous & kind and puts others before him, all the time..... It's rare to meet people like that. The stuff he's done for me over the years is just beyond compare. Unbelievable.

Anyway bla bla, was nice to see him again, we went to a cafe and just talked complete junk for hours & hours like we always do. I had my one third of McVities fruit bake cos I wasn't hungry.

Then we shopped and shopped even though I have no money but I don't care.
I bought 2 g-strings in La Senza -- as usual my justification for splashing out is that it gives me more incentive to lose weight (well it's true, haha) and my gosh aren't they just the cutest, sexiest damn things ever.
I should take a pic and post them (not with me wearing 'em though, lol, I'm not quite there yet).:drool5:


OH Yeah Angelica you're 100% right about getting vitamins, I need to do that too & keep forgetting to buy these great Multibionta ones which are all vit's and minerals combined so thanks for reminding me!
I am sure I'm missing out on a few important B vitamins/iron definitely for a start. I don't get enough veggies and fruit in my diet, cos I am so damn lazy like that -- something I deffo need to work on.


Anyway, quick sum up ...

Last night I had same dinner I have every day, so I have cut and pasted:
140g skinless grilled chicken, tomato salad, 1 tbsp low fat dressing, 1 tbsp olive oil, half of a mini (10") baguette.
Cup of tea 1 sugar. 2 slices of lemon.

I seriously do not get sick of chicken breast, for some reason.

Food 15/02/09
Today had usual breakfast 2 slices brown bread 1 slice half fat cheddar 1 tbsp low fat mayo.

Exercise 15/02/09
TJ Turbo Sculpt (45 mins)

Quite a good day all in all. Now gonna be off to make dinner in a sec.
Hope everyone had a fab day:Angel_anim:
 
woooh yeah post em! and then take a secret picture in them right now o:
sooo when you hit your goal you can take sexy pictures and post both =D
haha i did that... but with just boring old black with pink lacing... but it was
the only matching set i have atm xD idk where the others ran off to!

i wrote vitamins down on my dry erase board... that im using starting tomorrow...
soo i will actually remember to take them... i also need to buy a huge like 2 liter
water bottle sooo i can shove all my water for the day in it and drink that sucker down.
because i forget to drink ALOT!

haha sooo have a nice day girl =P
 
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