I'm going to actively start Journaling my experience fighting my way to health.
A bit of back story: I am obese. I'm about 260 pounds, and 5'8". I grew up eating and drinking quite a bit of sugar. My parents were always big on giving treats, particularly after yelling to ease their guilt. I started having an unhealthy relationship with food around age 11, and ended up with some severe depression and anorexia / bulimia. At my thinnest I was 115 pounds. I got significantly better around age 16 due to a plethora of factors, and I ended up at a normal weight although I thought of myself as being overweight anyway.
Fast forward a bit to my adulthood, I dated someone who really ruined my life. We were together off and on for 6 years, and he was very mentally abusive. At one point in the relationship I ended up so depressed my unhealthy relationships with food began again. I gained almost 100 pounds within a few months due to binge eating. I can eat sugar like I'm drinking water. I can consume it without feeling full or sick. Even things like fudge where most people can only tolerate a little bit, I could eat a pound if given the chance.
Eventually I went back to college, where I got health insurance and for the past year + have been aggressively dealing with my depression and mental issues. I've been diagnosed with major depression, add, generalized/social anxiety and binge eating disorder.
It has been such a struggle to lose this weight. I am addicted to sugar. I think about eating all the time. I start my day with sugar and end it with sugar. This needs to change.
Sugar is what I consider a silent killer. It is the biggest contributor to obesity, and increases chances of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer to name a few. I need to do this. I don't smoke cigarettes because I know how carcinogenic it is, and eating excessive amounts of sugar is as well. So why do I do it? Because it stimulates the pleasure centers of your brain similarly to how heroin does. A better comparison is comparing it to alcoholism.
I feel horrible. I hate the way I look, but most of all I hate the way I feel. I am so embarrassed that I can't walk up a couple flights of stairs without feeling winded. I hate sweating all the time. I hate the stretch marks. I hate that I have an entire closet FULL of clothes I can't wear. I hate that I know I could look and feel amazing if I'd just stop eating so badly.
So here I am. Another desperate attempt at losing weight that I hope potentially might keep me on the road to success. I am going to start recording and keeping track of my eating, and of my weight by scale and photograph. I will post about my successes, my failures, what I was thinking before my meal, how I feel after.
My goals:
Current weight: 260
Goal weight: 160
I want to start my goal by: easing up on sugar. Limiting significantly my sugar intake by cutting down on sugar through candy and baked goods, and slowly eliminating my coffee as it is packed with sugar. Remove ALL sugary beverages, including juice.
-begin yoga regime. Start slow, with 20 minutes 3 times a week. In a month I will increase to 30 minutes 3 times a week. Cardiovascular once per week, increasing to twice in a month.
-drink water. Lots of it.
-eating more fruits and vegetables. Prepping fruit and vegetables into zip lock bags, so I can snack on those during my sugar cravings just to have something in my mouth.
Pictures to come.
A bit of back story: I am obese. I'm about 260 pounds, and 5'8". I grew up eating and drinking quite a bit of sugar. My parents were always big on giving treats, particularly after yelling to ease their guilt. I started having an unhealthy relationship with food around age 11, and ended up with some severe depression and anorexia / bulimia. At my thinnest I was 115 pounds. I got significantly better around age 16 due to a plethora of factors, and I ended up at a normal weight although I thought of myself as being overweight anyway.
Fast forward a bit to my adulthood, I dated someone who really ruined my life. We were together off and on for 6 years, and he was very mentally abusive. At one point in the relationship I ended up so depressed my unhealthy relationships with food began again. I gained almost 100 pounds within a few months due to binge eating. I can eat sugar like I'm drinking water. I can consume it without feeling full or sick. Even things like fudge where most people can only tolerate a little bit, I could eat a pound if given the chance.
Eventually I went back to college, where I got health insurance and for the past year + have been aggressively dealing with my depression and mental issues. I've been diagnosed with major depression, add, generalized/social anxiety and binge eating disorder.
It has been such a struggle to lose this weight. I am addicted to sugar. I think about eating all the time. I start my day with sugar and end it with sugar. This needs to change.
Sugar is what I consider a silent killer. It is the biggest contributor to obesity, and increases chances of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer to name a few. I need to do this. I don't smoke cigarettes because I know how carcinogenic it is, and eating excessive amounts of sugar is as well. So why do I do it? Because it stimulates the pleasure centers of your brain similarly to how heroin does. A better comparison is comparing it to alcoholism.
I feel horrible. I hate the way I look, but most of all I hate the way I feel. I am so embarrassed that I can't walk up a couple flights of stairs without feeling winded. I hate sweating all the time. I hate the stretch marks. I hate that I have an entire closet FULL of clothes I can't wear. I hate that I know I could look and feel amazing if I'd just stop eating so badly.
So here I am. Another desperate attempt at losing weight that I hope potentially might keep me on the road to success. I am going to start recording and keeping track of my eating, and of my weight by scale and photograph. I will post about my successes, my failures, what I was thinking before my meal, how I feel after.
My goals:
Current weight: 260
Goal weight: 160
I want to start my goal by: easing up on sugar. Limiting significantly my sugar intake by cutting down on sugar through candy and baked goods, and slowly eliminating my coffee as it is packed with sugar. Remove ALL sugary beverages, including juice.
-begin yoga regime. Start slow, with 20 minutes 3 times a week. In a month I will increase to 30 minutes 3 times a week. Cardiovascular once per week, increasing to twice in a month.
-drink water. Lots of it.
-eating more fruits and vegetables. Prepping fruit and vegetables into zip lock bags, so I can snack on those during my sugar cravings just to have something in my mouth.
Pictures to come.
