B
BizeB
Guest
story time, kiddies so be prepared to read! 
okay, so I got a call today from a friend who actually goes to the WW meetings. They were asked to bring in inspiring stories of their own or someone they knew. She asked me if I would give her mine to bring... After MUCH hemming, hawing, and all around hesitating, I decided I would. I also am posting it here (hey, if people I don't know get to read it, the ones I DO "know" get the option too!!! ). Its long, kinda boring, but here goes....
I laughed off my weight problem as much as possible and before anybody else could as a defense mechanism. If I made fun of me, hey, nobody else could. One day, I sat on our cats tail and “gave her a rudder”. On another day, I sat on our son’s foot and “ gave him a flipper”. I used to joke that if I ever fell, I’d need AAA or Charlebois, a local big rig tower, to get me up out of the crater I’d make. I laughed, but inside I was crying. Not just crying. SOBBING. I hated being fat. Not large. Fat, morbidly obese, drastically overweight, disgustingly round. I weighed enough for two people and hated every minute of it. I felt even worse when I watched my husband and children eat. With a 32" waist, hubby could eat all he wanted, including the half gallon of ice cream in the freezer, and not gain an ounce. The boys had to gain weight or risk being taken off their ADHD meds so they were allowed to eat all that they wanted. So as my “skinny eating machines” devoured anything their heart desired, I felt even worse.
I’m not really sure when I got truly “serious” about losing weight. There was no “epiphany” that I can recall. I just got sick of feeling like I did. At first I just made what I call “Duh!” changes. I stopped eating fried foods and less sugar. I started a book of inspiring stories, pics, and quotes. I started journaling and a “BMI Line” that which were also included in my book. My BMI Line showed me the progress I made at a glance - something very important for me in the beginning.
At the same time, I sat down and really criticized what I was eating even further and realized I never ate breakfast. This, and other things, I researched as much as I could because I didn’t want to use the “no time” excuse no matter how busy I was. Working over 40 hours a week, every weekend, and a lot of nights, really sucked but I was determined to beat it. I did not want to rely on pills or gimmicks any longer, only to have the weight come back. This time was for me, my health, and my sanity. I needed to do this under my own power so I could learn in the process.
I think the biggest change was exercise. I was using a pedometer and told myself I would walk the 10,000 steps every day. Yeah, well, because I was on my feet all day running a deli and cooking, I was hitting 18,000 by 430 each evening! I knew that wasn’t going to cut it as exercise so I started Tae-bo, pilates, and yoga - anything I could do to not drop into the “boredom” rut. I wanted to succeed and that meant changing things up constantly.
No, I am not at my goal right now, but I am a heck of a long way from where I began. My job has changed and my routine has settled despite still being insanely busy. I feel better about myself and health-wise. I still don’t feel like “Babe” material, but I sure feel a whole lot sexier. My chest is no longer the “spare tire on the upper tier” - you can actually tell my chest from my stomach! I have discovered I have a semi-cute tush where before it screamed “broadside of the barn”. I have two children who now have a mom who can do things with them and not nag all the time. My husband has a wife, whether he likes it or not, who can do things with him too and not wimp out before he does.
Yes, this journey takes a lot of my time. Meals need planning, exercise needs doing, and it all needs to fit into the insanity that has become my life, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I make sure I treat myself with non-food treats for a job well done and pat myself on the back. I am my own cheerleader. If I am not happy for my, how can I expect anybody else to be? “Pats” from others DO happen, but few and far between. By being my own cheerleader, I know I will always be there for me. If I have a bad day of eating, I forgive, forget, and forge on.
I know I will make my goal and I don’t care how long it takes. For me, it isn’t the time it takes. It’s the knowing I’ll get there.
Hope y'all werent' TOO bored IF you read it all, you deserve a metal! LOL
okay, so I got a call today from a friend who actually goes to the WW meetings. They were asked to bring in inspiring stories of their own or someone they knew. She asked me if I would give her mine to bring... After MUCH hemming, hawing, and all around hesitating, I decided I would. I also am posting it here (hey, if people I don't know get to read it, the ones I DO "know" get the option too!!!
). Its long, kinda boring, but here goes....Weight for me: My Story, My journey
Oh, the painful beginning.... 225 pounds and a size 24, maybe larger since all I wore were elasticized knit pants because they never seemed to get too tight. At 5'1 ½” I was disgusted and ashamed of myself. I avoided cameras and mirrors when at all possible since I couldn’t stand to see myself in any way, shape or form. I was constantly tired after being on my feet all day at work as a cook, and I ached all the time. Worst of all was the fact that I couldn’t be as good of a mother to my twin sons as I wanted. I hated myself and was grumpy all the time and I nagged the boys constantly about everything. I thought I should be rail thin considering all the gimmicks I had tried and if I couldn’t stand to look at myself, how could my husband ever stand to look at me? Worst of all, how could he even find me remotely attractive anymore? I certainly didn’t feel sexy. Who ever would have guessed the fat chick used to be anorexic?I laughed off my weight problem as much as possible and before anybody else could as a defense mechanism. If I made fun of me, hey, nobody else could. One day, I sat on our cats tail and “gave her a rudder”. On another day, I sat on our son’s foot and “ gave him a flipper”. I used to joke that if I ever fell, I’d need AAA or Charlebois, a local big rig tower, to get me up out of the crater I’d make. I laughed, but inside I was crying. Not just crying. SOBBING. I hated being fat. Not large. Fat, morbidly obese, drastically overweight, disgustingly round. I weighed enough for two people and hated every minute of it. I felt even worse when I watched my husband and children eat. With a 32" waist, hubby could eat all he wanted, including the half gallon of ice cream in the freezer, and not gain an ounce. The boys had to gain weight or risk being taken off their ADHD meds so they were allowed to eat all that they wanted. So as my “skinny eating machines” devoured anything their heart desired, I felt even worse.
I’m not really sure when I got truly “serious” about losing weight. There was no “epiphany” that I can recall. I just got sick of feeling like I did. At first I just made what I call “Duh!” changes. I stopped eating fried foods and less sugar. I started a book of inspiring stories, pics, and quotes. I started journaling and a “BMI Line” that which were also included in my book. My BMI Line showed me the progress I made at a glance - something very important for me in the beginning.
At the same time, I sat down and really criticized what I was eating even further and realized I never ate breakfast. This, and other things, I researched as much as I could because I didn’t want to use the “no time” excuse no matter how busy I was. Working over 40 hours a week, every weekend, and a lot of nights, really sucked but I was determined to beat it. I did not want to rely on pills or gimmicks any longer, only to have the weight come back. This time was for me, my health, and my sanity. I needed to do this under my own power so I could learn in the process.
I think the biggest change was exercise. I was using a pedometer and told myself I would walk the 10,000 steps every day. Yeah, well, because I was on my feet all day running a deli and cooking, I was hitting 18,000 by 430 each evening! I knew that wasn’t going to cut it as exercise so I started Tae-bo, pilates, and yoga - anything I could do to not drop into the “boredom” rut. I wanted to succeed and that meant changing things up constantly.
No, I am not at my goal right now, but I am a heck of a long way from where I began. My job has changed and my routine has settled despite still being insanely busy. I feel better about myself and health-wise. I still don’t feel like “Babe” material, but I sure feel a whole lot sexier. My chest is no longer the “spare tire on the upper tier” - you can actually tell my chest from my stomach! I have discovered I have a semi-cute tush where before it screamed “broadside of the barn”. I have two children who now have a mom who can do things with them and not nag all the time. My husband has a wife, whether he likes it or not, who can do things with him too and not wimp out before he does.
Yes, this journey takes a lot of my time. Meals need planning, exercise needs doing, and it all needs to fit into the insanity that has become my life, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I make sure I treat myself with non-food treats for a job well done and pat myself on the back. I am my own cheerleader. If I am not happy for my, how can I expect anybody else to be? “Pats” from others DO happen, but few and far between. By being my own cheerleader, I know I will always be there for me. If I have a bad day of eating, I forgive, forget, and forge on.
I know I will make my goal and I don’t care how long it takes. For me, it isn’t the time it takes. It’s the knowing I’ll get there.
Hope y'all werent' TOO bored
IF you read it all, you deserve a metal! LOL
