Diary of a Pirate Punk

I'm 5'3. When I think of it, that pic was actually taken at a lower weight, so not really representative. But thanks. :)

I suppose I should eat more... I just find myself falling asleep without being hungry at all. But then, depression does cause me to eat less (a few months ago all I ate were 2 protein bars a day, but I wasn't trying to lose weight or anything,) so maybe it's related?

I have a no-energy kind of depression, but I also have social anxiety. Some days are bad, but overall, I'm doing better and being more productive. I read self-help articles online sometimes, and have thought about keeping a couple notebooks... I think that would really help. I'm glad that's worked for you.. I can see how. I should really try too. Thanks!
 
hmm, weighed in at 142.2 today. I don't know why I'm losing so quickly. I think I eat enough... Maybe it's water weight. It's not that I'm not happy, I just don't want to gain it all back..!

Yesterday I ate pretty well. Finished at 1250c, and 5 servings of F&V. Would like to eventually get more in though...
 
Another rainy day... no exercise. I noticed last night that I really did have a hard time eating because of depression. I guess this happens more often than I noticed... perhaps I should be eating more. Today I was pretty hungry.

I'm going to try and see if magnesium supplements help my mood at all. I know I am prone to a deficiency, and believe I had a period of panic attacks caused by it. Apparently it can cause a lot of symptoms... It keeps creeping back in the form of muscle twitches, which immediately go away when I take a supplement. I took some last night and this morning, and my mood seems better than yesterday. I'm going to see how this goes. It's worth a shot.

B: apple & nuts...360
L: veggie burger, lentils, cucumber & tomatoes... 340
S: udon soup & nuts.. 350
D: grapes... 30
total: 1080
f&v: 4
 
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Weight:141.8
I got into a competition with someone on another site to lose 2 lbs before the other. He's a male and may lose faster naturally... but I'm going to try!

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B: veggie burger & grapes... 200
L: beans & sandwich... 320
S: nuts... 140
D: cucumber sandwich... 150
S: ...?
Total so far... 810

Not much of an appetite again.. I'll try to squeeze something in. Walked the dog for a half hour today.

I used a couple calculators, both of which said I'll reach my goal just before my birthday (Aug 2nd.) I hope so...! What a great gift to myself.


Edit: S: beans... 240
Total: 1050
 
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Weighed the same today, which is to be expected... would like things to come off overnight, but patience is necessary.

I realized that I've woken up the past couple of days feeling pretty weak, and just kind of diminished. My hands and feet are perpetually cold as well... I'm probably not eating enough. I know in the last couple days I haven't made 1200c like I'm supposed to... part of it is just not being in the mood to eat, but I've noticed some feelings coming back from when I had an eating disorder. It can just be hard for me to eat, feeling like I'm a failure, and I am fearful of it sometimes. Logically, I know that aiming for really low calories isn't the way to lose weight, it's just an emotional aversion to it. But today I decided that I'm going to eat whatever I need to feel healthy and energetic again. Depression and things from the past aren't going to control me now. I just have to ignore any impulses that steer me off a healthful path. So I probably wont count calories today. I'm just going to stay within a normal range and do what I need to.
 
Well I ended up counting calories anyway, and finished around 1750. I also walked the dog for a 1/2 hour. I also took an iron tablet last night. I feel considerably better, but not 100% yet.

Weighed the same again... I know I shouldn't expect any different, but I've got to keep pressing forward to make it out of the 140s.
 
Same weight, 4th weigh-in in a row... you'd think I could lose a fraction! Perhaps my metabolism has stalled from not eating enough. I guess I'll keep trying and see if it changes.

Been considering Eat to Live much more seriously... trying to clear out foods not permitted, then I'm going to load up on beans and fresh fruit & veg. A little worried about having space to store the greens and how much to buy, but I guess I'll learn as I go. I like the idea of trading calorie counting for just recording a serving from a few categories (starchy veg or grains, nuts, soy milk.) I also hope to see faster weight loss. I worry a bit about not having many comfort foods and being satiated on mostly fruit & veg, but I guess it's something you have to do before you'll know.

Yesterday~
Calories: 1250
F&V: 3 (argh, need to be better at this...!)
Exercise: Walking 30 min
 
The only thing worth reporting on yesterday is that I stayed under 2000 but ate a lot of junk food. I didn't even quite walk the dog 30 minutes. I realized I was dehydrated though, and that might hinder my weight loss, so I drank a lot. To my surprise...

...I weigh 141.4 today! I was pretty happy to not gain, and to finally see a budge. I really do need to drink more water. I think that helped a lot.
 
Yesterday I ate okay... 6 f&v, 1500c, but only a little exercise. I felt really hungry and figured my body was starved, so I upped my intake to 1500. It was that feeling of craving something/anything so bad, but not knowing what... I had 1/2 a donut and didn't really enjoy it, but still wanted more of everything. I figured this could well turn into binging if I didn't do something, so I let myself eat more (healthy food.) I still felt hungry, so I just had to tell myself it's worth going to bed hungry to wake up a little thinner. Hopefully today will be better.

Unfortunately I gained 1.4 lbs since yesterday, but I wont let it get to me. I know it's probably just water retention (stupid A1 sauce!) I've just got to keep on... though it's been hard all week, losing virtually nothing.
 
Well, I'm back. See? I don't quit, I just took a little "break". lol I could not face counting another calorie for some reason. So I had a little time off, then stocked up the fridge with fresh fruit & veg so I could start on my own modified Eat to Live diet plan (swapped soy milk for soy in general.) So far it's going pretty well, for the first day.

Breakfast: Green smoothie, mushrooms & snow peas, apple.
Snack: Banana
Lunch: Salad, beans, nuts.
Snack: Strawberries
Dinner: Salad, sweet potatoes, peas, soy chicken strips.
Snack: x fruit (?)

The only thing I would change about lunch tomorrow is having some cooked non-starchy veg, like a stir-fry or something. I felt a little hungry, and didn't even have to--they're freebies! Also, that green smoothie was nasty. I think I'll just have another salad for breakfast. And drink some tea too.

I forgot to weigh in, which could have been useful... but I will tomorrow. Right now I feel pretty stuffed, so my brain is telling me this wont work. But I know it's because of the salad I had...
 
Hi Pirate. I've just caught up with your diary since i last dropped by. There are so many diaries to read around here. But i try to stop by most from time to time.

You've told us a lot more about yourself since i was last here. But now i am less surprised that antidepressants haven't helped you as much as they have me. I don't have much of any sort of anxiety, let alone social anxiety. I have experienced anxiety though so i know what it is. That said, i still think the can help a bit. I truly sympathise that you've got social anxiety. Its such a crippling disorder.

They (the professionals) do have success with some patients though. We recently had a public discussion on tv about anxiety and there were a lot of patients in the audience including at least one i remember who had social anxiety. I guess that had a big session before the show started to help everyone be relaxed enough to get through it because i imagine being on a live tv broadcast and speaking out in public in such a situation would be a lot more concering than most social situations.

Anyway, about your diet, are you vegan? This diet looks vegan? It will be a lot harder to get all your nutrients this way and for protein you need to do the food combining to get complete proteins. ie beans and rice or grains. YOu should read up about it if you are not aware of this.

About the magnesium. You can get it from oats but you should soak them first for a while so that they can release all their nutrients. I am pretty sure its magnesium and zinc that they have in them.

What sort of eating disorder did you have before? I hope you don't want to go back there whatever it was.
 
Hi fortyfour,
Social anxiety has indeed been pretty crippling for me. Though I'm acknowledging it now and want to change that. I didn't consider proper treatment before, but that might very well be an option. I actually don't get out too much for the time being (I live in the country and don't have my own car,) so I'll probably have to solve that first. Part of my problem is that I'm a terrible conversationalist because of my anxiety, so that's held me back too and compounded my fears. But I believe I can overcome it, with time and effort.

Yes, I've been vegan for about 3 years. I do take a multi just in case, but haven't really had any problems, apart from magnesium. I usually think of nuts as a good source, but don't eat them nearly enough. I'll try out oats if I can. The complete protein thing has actually now shown to not be true, although it's still good to combine for other nutrients. I tend to mix a lot into my salads, and will eat them just before any meal. Also, flax seed is another thing you're to include in this plan, which further helps you to absorb nutrients. Though seeing as I've been restricting before this, I've been sure to take a multi anyway.

Thanks for stopping by! I'll admit I don't get around to many other journals. Indeed, there are many
 
Weighed in at 142- basically where I left off. I'm eager to see the results of this new plan. Maybe it means nothing, but I look/feel thinner today.

Breakfast: Salad, apple
Snack: Pear
Lunch: Salad, stir fry, 1/2 avocado, 1c beans
Dinner: Repeat! Salad, 1c sweet potato, 1c peas, 8 "chicken" strips
Snack: 1c raspberries, banana

The salads are kind of wearing on me... I'll have to think of something else for breakfast. Maybe soup.
 
I added up the calories of everything today and it was 1240. Sounds just about right. I don't know if I should expect any more weight loss than usual, though... But I'm so full, thanks to all those greens! I knew I should eat more veggies... I guess this is a new opportunity to change that.
 
Can you explain the refutation of the food combining theory more. Or if its easier, just provide me with a credible link. I am really interested to know more about it.

I don't eat a lot of meat myself so i try to do the food combining thing a bit when my meal has no other major protein source.

I've never been very tough on it because i figure if we can get most of the proteins from say lentil, and only one bit is missing by not eating rice or something to combine the amino acid, its probably not a great loss. But anyhow, I'm still interested in truth.

Yesterday for instance, at lunch i ate lentils with a stewed vegetable dish, known as ratatouille. So no combining there.

Today i had tatsoi and in the link i found it lists magnesium as one of its minerals. Do you like asian greens. Perhaps you could grow them. They are pretty easy to grow.
 
Vrg.org (often cited by health prof.) has a section on it, toward the end of this article: Wish they had more data on it (I myself am in a hurry,) but essentially nearly all plant sources have all the amino acids we need. And if it doesn't, it's fine to make up for it throughout the day.


B: Banana, soup
S: Apple
L: Soup, avocado, beans
S: Strawberries
D: Salad, sweet potato, mixed veg, "chicken"

Weighed twice.. 141.8 & 142. ...Again.
 
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ok, thank you i will check it out.... Ok i did that and i have just one comment.

I looked at this thing of eating 1 gram of protein per kilogram body weight and its a lot of protein. I am still not eating that much protein i think. But then i haven't actually worked it out properly. I think its not easy to eat your bodyweight in proteins at that rate. But perhaps i won't really know until I spend some time working it out for all the foods i eat in a single day. But certainly, i think i am eating enough protein. And maybe i am.

Do you think you are eating 1 gram per kilogram of your bodyweight? Have you done a calculation?
 
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I calculated it once way back when I was just starting out on a vegan diet, and was well within a good range. I haven't done it in a long time. I honestly don't stress it that much. Most vegans don't have a problem with this, though it would be good to calculate it again now that I'm restricting.

~~

Weighed in today... 141.8. What do I have to do!? To be fair, I did probably have too much sodium the last couple of days. I do look a little bloated. A little splash of soy sauce on an avocado and I'm in heaven. Though those are gone now, and I've switched to a salad dressing with very little sodium. I'll also try filling up my liter "cup"(?) with water at least 3 times today. Hopefully I can flush it out...!

I've decided today is my last day of this ETL trial run. I want to relax on Saturday, and frankly I don't always feel too good. I seem to wake up in the mornings feeling a bit faint, or my heart pounds a bit harder, and I get light-headed quite a bit. Also, my lips and nail beds seem a bit purple! I took an iron tablet yesterday, but I guess I'll take another tonight and see if that cures it. Maybe I'm just not eating enough...? I've been considering that maybe I should try getting 1500c a day, and see if my weight loss speeds up, or I feel better overall.
 
B: Salad, apple
S: Pear
L: Beans, nuts, okra, apple
S: Apple
D: Salad, potato, veggies, "chicken"

I think I'll go back to calorie counting after this, and just continue having salads for lunch. The breakfast-lunch-dinner thing could really wear on a person. I'll probably try ETL again, but for now I need a break, and perhaps some recipes too.
 
What's the ETL thing?

I think pushing it up to 1500 calories is a bloody good idea. I think i am eating about that and i am losing about 1 kg per week now. I am exercising every second day - walk and or run about 8km. My maximum run now is still only 6km but that was only once. If you are not a runner, try the walking 8km. I can't remember if you are doing any exercise.

You don't sound very well at all. I think it must be because you are not eating enough substance foods. You know, not enough carbs and proteins and so on.

I hope you feel better soon.

Do you prefer to graze all day instead of breakfast lunch and dinner? I guess if you are eating mainly vegetables and fruit, you can do that and not put on weight, although its not so good for the teeth.

Sorry if i sound a bit lecturing. I just want everyone to eat healthy, be healthy and sensible. AND lose weight. :) :leaving:
 
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