Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

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Hi luv, I can see why you got depressed for a second based on what's been going on. It says a lot about your ability to bounce back and get yourself back on track. You have some really serious stresses though so its no wonder, not having a full-time job or career track and worrying about how things are going with AIL is some major stuff.

IMHO, the issue with AIL is of no real consequence since you're young and have plenty of time to find a nice man and settle down before the eggs start to diminish. So I would try not to worry about it too much and the things he says that show whether he's into you or not. I think that stiff neck comment is a veiled way to be hurtful, and he knows by now what type of things hurt you. But so what, keep enjoying yourself, going out, keeping your options open and using one eye to look for someone better, while you continue to enjoy your time with AIL as you look elsewhere or he grows up.

But girl (C in mami mode now), you're only working 20 hours a week so you need to be spending a set time on studying. Achieving career goals, whether PT or otherwise, needs to be the focus right now. Dont kick me but I think studying should be part of your daily job mon-fri. At least a few hours every day. You would be a great PT, I mean really the "perfect" PT, pretty (hot actually--yes this comes first as we want to be able to get as fit as our PT), enthusiastic, motivational, committed to fitness and knowledgeable (with more knowledge to follow as you study for your test and research on your own).

Whatever you get up to w/ the job and AIL, things have a way of working themselves out.
 
Blancita said:
Hi luv, I can see why you got depressed for a second based on what's been going on. It says a lot about your ability to bounce back and get yourself back on track. You have some really serious stresses though so its no wonder, not having a full-time job or career track and worrying about how things are going with AIL is some major stuff.

IMHO, the issue with AIL is of no real consequence since you're young and have plenty of time to find a nice man and settle down before the eggs start to diminish. So I would try not to worry about it too much and the things he says that show whether he's into you or not. I think that stiff neck comment is a veiled way to be hurtful, and he knows by now what type of things hurt you. But so what, keep enjoying yourself, going out, keeping your options open and using one eye to look for someone better, while you continue to enjoy your time with AIL as you look elsewhere or he grows up.

But girl (C in mami mode now), you're only working 20 hours a week so you need to be spending a set time on studying. Achieving career goals, whether PT or otherwise, needs to be the focus right now. Dont kick me but I think studying should be part of your daily job mon-fri. At least a few hours every day. You would be a great PT, I mean really the "perfect" PT, pretty (hot actually--yes this comes first as we want to be able to get as fit as our PT), enthusiastic, motivational, committed to fitness and knowledgeable (with more knowledge to follow as you study for your test and research on your own).

Whatever you get up to w/ the job and AIL, things have a way of working themselves out.
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:iagree:

Dang, this girl is a genius!!!
 
I undersign everything claudia just wrote :)
i think its really a big deal for you to study, because honestly i think you would make a perfect PT. hell i would definitely want you as one :D

as for AIL she's also right, keep one eye open. we do love our men but there is always someone better out there :) enjoy life girl and believe in yourself :)

a big hug
Lena
 
Wow I feel so loved!!!

Right now I'm so flattered to have the love in here!

I'm watching this now:



You gotta love Ab Fab!

Claudia: I agree, and I shall!

Yesterday: The Stanford Faculty club was packed with an elderly lot, some younger people but not many, and the AIL never showed up. My girl friend Trisha did, however, around 7 or so, giving me a break from pouring and able to mill around a bit and chat with Stephen Vincent Situm, Jr., of Stephen Vincent Wines. He poured his own (I had 10 of our distributed wines but we distribute his as well) wines and I got to try the new release Pinot Noir, Sonoma--which is DELICIOUS!! WOW!! And Stephen asked how I was doing and I answered honestly, "Well I'm having trouble with my love life. And I have a mental block, where I can't get anything done and I'm totally overwhelmed." Stephen was interested in giving me advice, he's a very, very nice person. We agreed to have dinner afterwards. Trisha's boyfriend was taking her to a nice dinner in Redwood City, anyway.

SO after the pouring was done and I gave away any leftover open bottles, and traded David Noyes a bottle of Rombauer Cabernet for a bottle of his Pinot Noir, I followed Stephen to Il Fornaio Restaurant. I had the grilled seafood plate and he had some delicious looking ravioli, and we talked and talked. He talked about his past relationships and I was intrigued. He mentioned that he was a graphics designer and a piano composer before he took over his dad's wine business. I asked him,

"With all the pain from the relationships, how did you manage to continue with your creativity?"

He said it was because that's how he is, that always comes first. And he pointed out that I was not being emotionally fulfilled. And obviously, that comes first for me. And he could tell that I was down on myself for being that way. He said, "It's who you are. Don't deny that." He made me realize that because of this, I'm resentful of AIL and that takes up a lot of my time and energy. It does. I realize that while other people can put that anger and frustration to creating, I'm at a stalemate because I need that emotional fulfillment to be able to get on track with my accomplishments.

It's all true, I'm consumed by this relationship and therefore my energy is not available for much else than the internet and hanging out with friends! Stephen also pointed out that I'm seeking emotional fulfillment by putting a lot of my time into relationships with friends and such. And yes, I've been hanging out a lot, I don't feel right alone lately. And I think that's stupid. Which is not too cool, and it's bothering me. At the exact moment I need to get ready for the pouring at the Martin Alfaro Winery. I'm excited about taking pictures of the tasting room that's being built, the one I'm going to be working at in January! :hurray:

SO Claudia is right: I'm going to put time away to study. If I can get one thing done it'll have a snowball effect where I can get a lot done! I hope. And I'll figure something out, too....I know I can.....
 
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I'm glad you had a good night last night. :) I think it's a good idea to make time to study for the PT test. You will find yourself feeling better about things by doing so--a sense of accomplishment.

And, I can't resist asking--is Stephen hot?? LOL...you know I have a one track mind. :D
 
Hi hun! Just popping in to say hi. :]
I agree with Amber, "Good for you for making a priority list and following it!"
Hope your day went well and that you have a great Sunday tomorrow!
xoxox

pea-ess: ab-fab is awesssssssssssome! I haven't seen it in years!!!
 
Thank you so much for checking on me!

I just got back from the Peninsula. I had spent the night out there with a friend, after pouring wine all day and eating all day. My period should be starting very soon, so it may explain the emotionalism, but all day yesterday I was moping and sad about the AIL. Even amongst friends, and having good times. Last night I watched The Break Up for the first time and it was kind of hard to watch. Yeah, I could relate....too much.....but it wasn't really a nice way to end my night :( This morning I was spacing out and flipping through the channels and I saw a scene from the 2005 Lion, Witch and Wardrobe. Aslan is going to the Stonehenge-type place to sacrifice himself to the White Witch. For whatever reason I got caught up in the scene and realized that I am, yes, a Leo Woman. I watched this CGI Lion head up to be killed and humiliated, first. He did it so nobly, bravely, and sadly. I realized, "I forgot that I am supposed to be brave, noble, and courageous. How did I forget that about myself????"

So I felt for him, when he was tied up, ready for the cold ass White Witch (who became a symbolic AIL to me right then) to stab him to death. Before she drew the knife through, she said,

"So much for Love."

I had to guffaw at that, I felt so empathetic to the situation, and I had a Hollywood-induced epiphany:

I have to face this life and all its disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and sadness with utter courage, bravery, and sacrifice.

Then move on.

I wish I felt a sort of re-birth and newfound strength, but I don't feel it right now. Honestly I feel aching to see AIL, whom I haven't heard from since a last email on Friday afternoon--course I know he's probably playing Segway Polo with Woz, which I'm glad for him, must be fun! But as I sit here I realize I can't just be on the internet all day. I have a lot to do.

Friday and Saturday I ate and drank so much I bet it was up to 4500 calories. It wasn't intentional and a lot of influence had to do with friends and being taken out to dinner. I didn't exercise because I'm depressed about my knee injury. It's still fucked up. But I think I'm going to put on some exercise clothes and get to the gym because I can't run outside, but I could do some light elliptical work and upper body weight training. I noticed after my exercise break, it's so easy to not get up and make time to work out. That has to stop.

My main priority is doing and completing my online traffic school, and getting my Honda donated. The Salvation Army office hours are during the week so I should take care of that Monday morning. Either way I need to get up and get off the computer because it's impeding me getting things done.

When I get shit taken care of, first, I'll come back on and check on my lovely WLF friends :D

Have a great Sunday! :waving:
 
You're right... The Break Up is a hard movie. It must have been pretty personal for you. At the same time, I'm glad you could find some strength and inspiration from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. :) You are every bit as brave and courageous as the lion that respresents your sign. And you come to face every situation with a strong, clear, focused mind, which I think is one of the most beautiful things about you!
 
sunnydee said:
You're right... The Break Up is a hard movie. It must have been pretty personal for you. At the same time, I'm glad you could find some strength and inspiration from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. :) You are every bit as brave and courageous as the lion that respresents your sign. And you come to face every situation with a strong, clear, focused mind, which I think is one of the most beautiful things about you!
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:iagree:

She very eloquently said everything I think! The Breakup is a very real movie, and I also found it hard to watch. I can understand why it would be particularly difficult for you at this time.

I'm so sorry that you are even having to deal with this mess, because you are too good of a person to be down.

You have so much inner (and physical!) strength, and even though it's hard now, I know you'll come out on top!
 
I love you girls, you help me out! Everyone here helps me out. I hate being such a bummer but it's nice to release this crap!

Well today I had a great day:

#1 I FUCKING FINISHED SOMETHING!!!! I DID MY DAMN TRAFFIC SCHOOL!!!! :party: :D :party: :hurray: :willy_nilly: :cheers2:
#2 After my last post I went to the gym and swallowed my pride and did a light weight training/resistance circuit that took into account my effed-up knee. Then I did 30 minutes elliptical work at a cardio level heart rate. My knee felt and still feels fine, in fact, better than this morning. I hope it will heal soon so I can run again!!!
#3 Watching episodes of Sex & the City online and drinking beer while doing my traffic school cheered me the fuck up and Samantha especially cheered me up from moping about the AIL.
#4 I did all this while baking yams and making erotic rice to put together with some fake chicken and spice!
#5 And all this done 45 minutes before the Sunday cartoon lineup on Fox happens!

I'll then get to the other diaries, *Quagmire voice* Alllllll-riiight. Giggity!
 
Curvie Girlie said:
I love you girls, you help me out! Everyone here helps me out. I hate being such a bummer but it's nice to release this crap!

Well today I had a great day:

#1 I FUCKING FINISHED SOMETHING!!!! I DID MY DAMN TRAFFIC SCHOOL!!!! :party: :D :party: :hurray: :willy_nilly: :cheers2:
#2 After my last post I went to the gym and swallowed my pride and did a light weight training/resistance circuit that took into account my effed-up knee. Then I did 30 minutes elliptical work at a cardio level heart rate. My knee felt and still feels fine, in fact, better than this morning. I hope it will heal soon so I can run again!!!
#3 Watching episodes of Sex & the City online and drinking beer while doing my traffic school cheered me the fuck up and Samantha especially cheered me up from moping about the AIL.
#4 I did all this while baking yams and making erotic rice to put together with some fake chicken and spice!
#5 And all this done 45 minutes before the Sunday cartoon lineup on Fox happens!

I'll then get to the other diaries, *Quagmire voice* Alllllll-riiight. Giggity!
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1. CONGRATULATIONS on completing Traffic School!!! :hurray:

2. I LOVE Sex and the City!! I own the series box set, and it always makes me feel better!!!

3. I LOVE the Fox cartoon lineup! I could watch Family Guy all freakin' day!!

4. Erotic rice and fake chicken? I'm confused!
 
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daiseeangel said:
4. Erotic rice and fake chicken? I'm confused!
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TYLY! LOL!

When I cook rice, I use a blend of damn near every rice you can think of sans the fucking KAMUT and it turns into this black concoction--I call it erotic, it was a misnomer one night when I meant to say "exotic" and my buddy wrote a aong for me that had the line, "....and your rice is so erotic." And I don't eat foul, so I have some fake chicken that I cook and cut up and stick into the rice for protein.
 
Curvie Girlie said:
TYLY! LOL!

When I cook rice, I use a blend of damn near every rice you can think of sans the fucking KAMUT and it turns into this black concoction--I call it erotic, it was a misnomer one night when I meant to say "exotic" and my buddy wrote a aong for me that had the line, "....and your rice is so erotic." And I don't eat foul, so I have some fake chicken that I cook and cut up and stick into the rice for protein.
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Hahaha!! Ok, now it makes sense!!

Thanks for the explanation! Lol!

I was really wondering what exactly was going on over there...

:willy_nilly:
 
Congrats on accomplishing so much today, my courageous bunny! I love the LW & W. I haven't seen the movie, but have read the book a few times, and saw the cartoon version of it made years ago. That scene you described is one of my favorites. You know, C.S. Lewis was a very religious man in his later years (started out as an atheist), and that scene is supposed to represent Christ's crucifixion. I'm spiritual, but not very religious, but that scene is incredibly powerful imo.

Anyway, no matter what the white witch (AIL) does, you'll rise again. :)
 
Hey There Cutie patootie! Happy to see you got a lot done today!! I love that erotic rice, LOL that's friggen funny!! I own the Lion, W & Wardrobe on CD, it's certainly one I love to watch. :hurray:

That's great that your knee didn't bother you while exercising at the gym, at least you can still get in exercise even if it's not outside, which I'm sure is ten times better (being outside). I hope it heals quickly girlfriend!! ***VBF throwing out some healing power to ya****

I hope your evening is a good one sweetness!! HUGS!!
VBF
 
Hi, Val. Just wanted to wish you a great week and a wonderful TDay. I'm going up to SF to visit with the kids. Hey -- maybe you should come up to SF on Friday and meet my son! :)
Anyway, have a great week!
 
Good morning Val!!! how are ya babe?? Todays monday!!! Its the most motivating day of the week if you ask me! Heres to another great day!!
 
:cheers2: Congrats on finishing tarafic school!!
lol@ erotic rice and fake chicken :willy_nilly:.Hope
you have a wonderful week,HUGGS,you rock sexy mama!!
Tammy
 
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