Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

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Thanks Mal--I recently stuck $4,000 into a WaMu IRA account according to my wise grandma's instructions. I figure it's better to have "monies" all over--not like I'll see and SS in my lifetime.

Thanks, Kelly!!!!
 
Curvie Girlie said:
WHoa where did you come from?! Just kidding! Thanks for coming by:eek: I need to find out about the 401K--I was lazy and haven't read the pamphlets yet.

I was talking about cardio--and yes you are fit.
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Let me know what options are available to you once you find out.
 
i really need to get myself in gear when it comes to saving/ira's and all that stuff! i am going to be a broke ass later on if i don't!!!

hope you're having a great day!
 
About your 401k- I would do it, but make sure that you do more than stick into the bare minimum money market. Also, find out how long it will take for you to be vested, and think about wether or not you want to be at your current job for that long.
And which type of IRA did ou stick your money in. Do you remember the term and the length?
 
Britta Bear said:
About your 401k- I would do it, but make sure that you do more than stick into the bare minimum money market. Also, find out how long it will take for you to be vested, and think about wether or not you want to be at your current job for that long.
And which type of IRA did ou stick your money in. Do you remember the term and the length?
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OK, I think I'll reseach it first. The IRA at WaMu was for a year--at the end of that term I'll figure out where I want it to go...
 
PMS Blues

Creeping in like a slug...already eating more....feeling sad and stressed out. Hmmm, it is fun being upbeat but sometimes, very rarely, I just get down. I'm worried about money, and worried about my boyfriend. Love is great. Lifestyle differences do matter--and it matters more and more until it's over--I know, I was with my ex for 5 and 1/2 years before I couldn't take it anymore. Basically, I am fretting over nothing I can do now, except relax. I already feel relaxed, now. Just getitng it out helps. I am going to:

Get a second job. Open the 401K, and try to save more money.

Talk to my BF about what bothers me in some way that's least offensive.

I already ate my usual cereal, and some crackers, and a small can of albacore, and my fakin bacon sandwhich, and some strawberries with chocolate syrup, and some actual real chocolate: 1463 calories. I have two apples to munch on and if I keep dinner light I'll be A-OK.

Wish me luck.
 
hey! i just realized that i am exactly 2 days older than you, and that's it! i knew we were both leos, but i never realized that we are only 2 days apart! :D

you do have my luck, but i know you don't need it. you are a super smart girl that will be able to figure out what's best for you.

i can pretty much relate to everything you are stressed about. money is something that ALWAYS gets me down. i am in serious debt, and i hate it. i am able to pay all my bills of course, but it feels like i am never going to get anywhere with them. i am not saying that you are in that particular situation, i am just saying that i completely understand stressing over money. my mom is terrible financially, and i have never met my father, so i never had the guidance that most people had. i was making big financial decisions at 18, and let's just say that i didn't always make the right ones!

and james and i also have lifestyle differences. james was an only child that is still catered to by his family. i was out of the house and on my own at 17. that alone makes a huge difference in who we are as people. it scares me sometimes because i can look back on old relationships now and see that all the signs of doom were there...then i start to stress and think "am i missing the signs now?!" or something will happen/be said between us that makes me uneasy and i'll wonder to myself if it is some sort of lurking trouble. we have different thoughts/opinions on things naturally, but there are some things that can be deal breakers. fortunately we are doing well now, but it is something that i worry about. i am already so invested in this, and the thought of it not working out just scares the shit out of me.

sorry if i made this all about me... i was just trying to relate that i understand the stress! the situations may not be exactly the same, but the stress is still there!

you are an amazing person that will make it through it all! you are a leo, after all!!! RAWWRRR!!! :D
 
Thank you so much. That really helped--I love it when people relate issues/problems, it gives me perspective and the reassurance that, we're all in this together. :) Life is so weird sometimes....
 
Curvie, I think what counts in a relationship is how close you are on your core values, and indeed, what you consider a core value. Marlene and I are as different as two people could be -- she's gregarious, while I'm somewhat of a loner; she's highly organized, while I'm a procrastinator, etc., etc. But when it comes to things that really count, like how we raise our children, we're like two peas in a pod.

I think that's why we've been together for 33 years now.

A lot of people fight over the superficial stuff, and never get to see how many really important things they see eye to eye on.
 
I'm about useless as a 5th bedpost when it comes to relationship stuffs, sorry.

I know listening to 80's muzic helps me remember why love is so hard to figure out.
 
TomO said:
Curvie, I think what counts in a relationship is how close you are on your core values, and indeed, what you consider a core value. Marlene and I are as different as two people could be -- she's gregarious, while I'm somewhat of a loner; she's highly organized, while I'm a procrastinator, etc., etc. But when it comes to things that really count, like how we raise our children, we're like two peas in a pod.

I think that's why we've been together for 33 years now.

A lot of people fight over the superficial stuff, and never get to see how many really important things they see eye to eye on.
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Thanks, Tom--you're right. Just at the moment I am weighing if it's worth it to me--like, if I could do better. A valid question. Shouldn't we want the best for us? Do we need to settle for less? I've always been really lucky in love because I wear my heart on my sleeve. We'll see....

And thanks Trucker, I do like the Dead Kennedy's "Too Drunk to Fuck." :D
 
It's important to reexamine relationships once in a while. It doesn't necessarily mean you're disatisfied or unhappy. It just means you're bright enough to reflect and make sure that you really are satisfied and happy, not just deluded. But I do think it's important to talk to your boyfriend about it, which you already said you plan to do. Take it easy. I hope it all works out for you. :) Love really is a wonderful thing.
 
Thanks Sunnydee-I shouldn't even be on here, I'm just taking a break from my studies (wine class). But here's something:

I was listening to Grandmaster Flash, Melle, Mel and the Furious Five. Their songs "Survival," "New York New York", and "The Message" really reminded me that hey! I'm living in one of the richest countries, in a rich area, with a decent job and a great living situation and a man who loves me. Most people in the world could only hope to be so fortunate!!! Shit there are people starving out there. And in one of those songs, Rahim says, "Don't ever let the water flow from the cup, and don't ever say that you'll give up," and I realized that as I may be examining, like you said, I also am letting it get to me--like I could just walk out. Like I could just find Mr. Right For Me, just like that. HA! That's a deluded fantasy. Who is Mr. Right for Valerie? Well, he'd have to work out with me....not smoke cigarettes....drink and smoke weed to moderation....be extremely affectionate...be very considerate to my feelings....be CLEAN....and conscientious....be excellent in bed, adventurous, and willing to act out our fantasies....with excellent kissing and oral skills....kind to others, treat his family well.....be open minded in regards to spirituality....eat well, and love fish....be very active and go hiking, running, and traveling with me....be incredibly intelligent and wise at the same time....be gregarious and friendly, down to make new friends and maintain the established friendships he's got....love to cuddle...like to read.....enjoy fine wine.....and beer!.....be artistic.....drive like a race-car-driver!.....teach me things I never heard of.....push me to the limits....mess with my mind with the objective of entertainment....have friends I like and get along with....not ignite jealousy in a classy way, i.e., keeping it real and still be respectful of my feelings....enjoy porn that I enjoy...like the music I like....

OK! HA HA, I AM asking for too much. Hopeless romantic, and weight has nothing to do with that. Too bad for me!! I guess all I can do is settle. Ah well cut me some slack, I'm an idealistic person. ;)
 
Hey. I always feel that I'm not the right person to give advice because everybody is different, and the way I feel and act in my relationship is going to be totally different to how others do. At the end of the day you just have to do what you feel is best for YOU... but honesty is the best thing whatever happens, so make sure you talk out your worries even if it's not the easiest thing to do. :)

Anyway... have a good day. :)
 
Curvie, what may be the "ideal" partner today, may NOT be so ideal 10 years from now. A lot of couples start out totally compatible, and then drift apart. Why? Because life slowly, imperceptibly changes us, and sometimes quickly changes us. The real question then is how each partner supports the other in making that change.

Every stage of life has its unique challenges. In your 20's, you have a very different agenda than you do in your 30's. Things that you believe are absolutely critical to you in your 40's pale in importance in your 50's.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that along with sharing core values, the other important attribute of a successful partnership is "loving adaptability" -- the ability to change and support your partner's changes with love and compassion and enthusiasm over the course of a lifetime.

Before I met Marlene, I focused on a lot of superficial aspects of "Mrs. Right". It took a divorce to get me to realize that compromising on the small stuff, as long as you have what truly is important, is not "settling."

I hope this didn't come off as too preachy. You strike me as a person who's really got her head screwed on straight -- someone with sound judgment and an ability to attain any goal you set for yourself.
 
Good morning! I love that you are so reflective about life. Very healthy way to be! I think Tom's advice is bang on. Core values and loving adaptibility is a great way of putting it. Also, you really do seem like you have your head screwed on right (another reference to Tom's post :)) and you'll work things out. Have a wonderful day!
 
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