desperatly unhappy fat 17yr old. please help? xx

A

amyyyx

New member
Hi everyone.
This is my new diary :)
I posted here the other week but deleted it in a fit of fustration
I just thought.. "you'll be fat & lonely forever. why even try?!"
But now im in the right state of mind & determined to be 140lb by september.
I am currently 17, 5 foot 4 inches and 161lb.
I have lost 15lb in around 8 months
I have HORRIBLE! stretchmarks and my arms are hideously flabby.
I am however trying to lose more weight as I am still in the overweight catergory.
I walk everyday, I have a 2 hour walk in the morning, 2 x 1 hour walk's in the afternoon & 2 x 15min walks in the evening. I do stepups, bounce on my trampoline & do my rowing machine.. which I can currently only do 20 seconds of!!
I NEED to lose weight. I was bullied at school, physcially, mentally & sexually. This caused me to pile on around 40lb. I do not go to college or work as my self esteem is so low. I may sound like i feel sorry for myself, but im sick of myself.
Here is everything I ate yesterday. Could someone be as kind as to try & work out the calories? I had 3 attempts but got lost everytime..!

Monday
Breakfast - a quater of honeydew melon, 15 blueberries, 1 jaffa orange & 8 strawberries

Lunch - 4 fish fingers & a salad; lettuce, cucumber, onion & tomatoes

Dinner - uncle ben's sweet & sour sauce, chicken & 1 sweet potato, broccoli, carrots & sprouts

Drank 4 litres of water and a homemade banana smoothie; 1 banana & 1 cup of skimmed milk

Snacked on 1 mullerlight yoghurt mixed with 4 kashews nuts & a few raisins.

Pretty good day but I had alot of cravings; didnt give into them though!

4 & a half hours walking alltogether, bit of jogging (5mins) trampoline, stepups, pushups, rowing, lifting cans.

Thanks for any replies!
xxxx
 
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Welcome to the diary section again amyyyx, Wishing you all the best!!

Take Care. :)
I use Dailyplate.com, others use fitday.com, I am sure there are a truck load more....;)
 
your diet seems good but if I were you, I would allow myself to start off with small portions of cravings for the first weeks. It is very hard to cut off everything all of a sudden!
 
Welcome! Stick with healthy eating and portion control + exercise, and you WILL succeed. :sifone: I also encourage you to think positively. Picture what you want, and picture yourself having it! Stamp out your negative self-talk.

Cheers and best wishes on your journey,:driving:
ABBA
 
Hi there. I can hear in your words that you're in pain and really wanting this to work. I hope you don't mind if I give you some very direct advice. :)

Based on what you describe, you're eating a VERY unbalanced and unhealthy diet. Looking at what you listed above, it's VERY hard to figure out how many calories you ate, because you haven't given enough detail or amounts. Whether or not you ate chicken breast vs a drumstick, for example, is a big difference. But making my best guess based on what you wrote above, you've eaten around 1000 calories (which is far too few). Also, the amount of exercise you're doing is unsustainable over the long term as well as being largely ineffective.

Here's the thing: I'm the same height as you are and I currently weigh 174 (down from nearly 250). My goal is around 135, but in order to not be flabby, I know I have to eat extremely healthily and to work out effectively. Once you get down to the 150 or less range, you're working as much to SHAPE your body as you are to lose fat.

Here's what I recommend:

Start with the food you eat. You need to make sure that the majority of your meals are veggies and protein. Fill in around that with fruit and complex carbs - whole grain breads, oats, etc. I would say aim for 1500 to 1800 calories per day.

To track your calories, use something like dailyplate.com or another online site like that. It's much easier when you can just enter what you eat and let the computer do the work for you.

For exercise, ditch the 4 hours of walking. That's totally useless and completely unsustainable. Go with 30 minutes a day of BRISK walking. I mean arms pumping, legs lifting, get your heart going, get you sweating type of walking. Alternate slower walking with faster walking - even a little running if you can. Ideally you could walk for 5 minutes, then run/brisk walk for 60 seconds, then walk for 2 mins, then run/brisk walk for 60 seconds, then walk for 2 mins ... and repeat for a full 30 minutes. This is what's known as interval training (you might see it referred to as HIIT). This type of alternating slow and fast movement is MUCH more effective at burning fat and helping you lose weight. And you only need 30 mins of it as opposed to 4 hours of it.

If you feel like you can, lift some weights or do some body resistance training. If you don't have access to a gym or weights, you can do things like squats, lunges, pushups (start against a wall or table if you have to), dips, crunches, etc. Again, 20-30 minutes of good solid weight/resistance training is FAR more effective than 2 hours of low cardio.

When you combine a healthy diet with lots of protein with strength training and HIIT, you are helping to prevent lean muscle loss and encourage fat loss. Which is what you want!
 
This might help

Hi Amy!

My name is Malinda and I read your post. I completely know how you feel. I am about your height & weight. I do not lose weight easy either. However, when I read your post, it sounds like your are not eatting enough. I know it sounds crazy but you are putting your body in starvation mode when you do not eat enough calories. You need at least 1,400-1,600 calories a day. The way your exercising, your body does not have enough fuel to make the muscle it needs. Try adding some protein in your diet. Like lean chicken, ground turkey, peanut butter. Also, try some strengh training. This will also help you build muscle. In turn, you will be able to lose weight faster. I hope this helps!

Malinda
 
KaraCooks said:
But making my best guess based on what you wrote above, you've eaten around 1000 calories (which is far too few). Also, the amount of exercise you're doing is unsustainable over the long term as well as being largely ineffective.


For exercise, ditch the 4 hours of walking. That's totally useless and completely unsustainable. Go with 30 minutes a day of BRISK walking.
Click to expand...

Welcome to the forum,
I quoted the above because I am in complete disagreement with what she says, I think that your food is badly chosen (fish fingers are fried, battered, etc..., sweet and sour chicken sauce is high in crap and sugar), but not completely wrong and I think if you like walking, you enjoy it and you do not feel selfconscious doing it (unlike with some other sports), then I would stick to it. I know one lady (through this forum) who walked over 150 pounds off her frame, just doing what you are doing! Walking long walks, without rushing, without pumping, without stressing.

So, I think you need to find your own way, take note of what people here say, but in the end you have got to do it and you have got to live with it. For every person that gives you one type of advice you will find 5 who believe the opposite. veryone has a lot of opinions about eating and exercising, you just need to find what works for you personally.
For me what works is eating less, eating better and exercising more, I am trying to include things I was told to include, but you know what if I enjoy doing something more, I will be more prone to continue doing it. What is the point in stopping the walking and jogging for a week if after that week you hate it so much that you stop exercising at all? No, you gotta do your thing, you are being active and that is what is important. Maybe you want to slowly introduce other types of exercise, sure, but always go with what you feel you can and want to do.

On a whole different level, from your post you sound very depressed. The fact that you cannot study or work because you are so self conscious is a big problem I think and I think you should ask for expert help. Tell your GP about this and try to get referred to a psychologist. It is not bad to see one, mine helped me a ton when I was feeling the way you feel right now. I think that maybe you see weightloss as the solution o your problems, but I believe it may just be a part of your problem. The bigger issue is your insecurity and you won't automatically win security when you lose the pounds, that is not how it goes. Sure you can feel less selfconscious and more beautiful, but if you are insecure before you will remain insecure afterwards!
I started at your weight 16 months ago and I am now under 130, it was a slow loss and I am still working on it. but at the same time I am working on other issues I have and that I thought were because of the weight. My insecurity is not due to the weight and I do feel more secure with my current body but I still see a fat girl in the mirror and I still hate my body some days.
These are issues that are independent of my weight, the self hate is not just because I was fat, it is because I am not who I want to be necessarily so I am working on that, trying to change not just my appearance, but also my attitude, my dreams, etc...

Read the stickies, think about what you want to achieve, how you can change your diet and your lifestyle, but also think about maybe getting professional help. I know the NHS is not the easiest system to get help when you need it, but I am sure you will be considered if you explain how your issues are affecting your life.
I will come and check on you often, but I really hope you find the help you need and you manage to be a happy person, because I am sure you deserve it! Camy
 
Thanks people.
im a tad confused about what one person said about me having a "unbalanced diet?"
I eat fruit, veg, meat, fish, serial etc.. drink heaps of water and drink skimmed milk
what else do I need? sorry if I sound rude. Im completely new and naive about diet plans etc.
also about the 4 hours walking bein useless? I have 4 x 1 hour walks throughout the day and run for around 10 mins of each of these.. so 40 mins running. I also try to walk as fast as i can
& about it bein unsubstainable, I have bein doing it for just over 1 year, everyday, and have lost 15lb (I only just started dieting around 5 months ago)
I agree about me bein depressed although i have had 3 phychiatrists try and diagnose me and they all said im completely sane, but need help overcoming the past. As soon as i left school they couldnt care less. Connexions arent any help either.
But yeah all i care about at this moment in time is losing weight, im positive it will help.
x
 
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Ok, let me see if I can explain further. First of all, here's why I think your diet is unbalanced.

Given your current weight of 161, you should be eating around 2400 calories to maintain your weight, or around 1700 to lose weight at a healthy rate. That's assuming someone does MODERATE exercise (which you're not doing - what you're doing is rather extreme, IMO).

So given what you said you ate, and assuming that you ate single servings of each, plus a lean chicken breast for lunch, you consumed around 1100 calories. That's not nearly enough to sustain the amount of exercise you're doing and I would bet large sums of money that's why you were having cravings. You will continue to have cravings as long as you undernourish your body. And eventually you'll drop your metabolism so slow and undernourish your body so badly that won't be able to maintain the exercise that you're doing.

Also eating at that low a level while exercising virtually guarantees that you're losing lean muscle mass in addition to fat. Eventually your muscles will begin to cannibalize themselves and you'll lose even more as your body struggles to find nutrients somwhere for the extreme amount of exercise you're doing.

On top of that, what you're eating is about 55% or more carbs, around 22% protein, and the rest fat. Again, when you're putting the kind of stress on your body that 4 hours a day of exercise puts on it, 22% protein simply isn't enough to keep you from losing muscle mass.

And, as someone else pointed out, the fried food and the sticky sugary sauce is not the most healthy option. It will cause your insulin to spike and then your blood sugar to plunge. Not only is that not healthy in and of itself, it's another reason why you're getting cravings.

So all of that above is why I say your diet is low and unbalanced. It's not an adequate diet to support the amount of stress you're putting on your body, plain and simple.

Next ... 4 hours of walking. It's totally excessive. It's also a schedule that most people simply cannot maintain. What about work? School? Friends? 4 hours of walking is one of those things that you think "If I walk for 4 hours then I know I"ll lose this weight." But it's truly unnecessary. 30-45 mins a day of brisk walking will do just as well, honestly. And I realize the person above disagrees with me, but I stand by my statements. I truly belive that for most people 4 hours a day of exercise is simply unsustainable as well as being unnecessary.

Finally, I wanted to comment on this statement you made:
I agree about me bein depressed although i have had 3 phychiatrists try and diagnose me and they all said im completely sane,
Depression has nothing to do with insanity. People get depressed all the time and they're nowhere near insane. I really want to make that super clear in the most strong way possible. And it's no different from any other disease that's treatable by a proper diet and exercise and sometimes medication. Lots of people suffer from depression. Some people get it seasonally. Some people suffer it once in their lives because of some circumstance they go through and never deal with it again. Some people suffer it as a chronic illness. I have had it periodically and have taken meds for it. My ex suffers from it chronically and will have to manage his diet and take meds for the rest of his life most likely. There is NOTHING wrong with being depressed, there should be no shame in it, and it does NOT mean you're insane. :)

But a good balanced diet and ENOUGH food will help with that. And it'll become a healthy cycle; you'll feel better because you're eating better, you won't be as tired or stressed, you'll look better, your depression will be lessened, which will make you want to eat better ... and so on.

I can hear the desperation in what you wrote; what I'm saying to you is that although you're desperate, you don't need desperate or crazy measures. :) You can do this by eating healthy foods and getting reasonable amounts of exercise.
 
I don't see a problem with your walking, if you enjoy it and it is working keep it up :) as for your diet, it does possibly look a little low but hard to tell without quantities. I agree you should join a site like fitday, calorie king etc. and let the computer work out your calories. Try instead of having fish fingers grill a piece of fish. oh and go easy on the sauce :)
 
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