Dealing with Discouraging Words

G

Guest

Guest
What do you do when you have relatives/friends/aquaintences who totally say negative/rude things when you are losing weight?

I ran into this the first time I lost a lot of weight (50 pounds). I'm starting to run into it again now. Even though I purposely don't talk/bring up the weight loss, people notice. Questions sometimes get asked and then I'm usually honest, but people say the damndest things.

It includes things like the following:

"Oh, you are young. Wait until you are older. Your metabolism is fast now, but it will slow down and you'll gain it all back then." (A recent one from someone who's been heavy most of his adult life. It particularly angered me because I recently battled a very slow metabolism after illness where it took 2 months to even lose a pound)

Or...

"Oh, sweetie, when you count calories you're really just starving yourself. I tried that once and my doctor told me to stop. Only [insert trendy diet of the month] works, because blah, blah, blah..."

Or...

"Oh, you care too much about your weight. You don't need to lose any more weight. You're becoming anorexic. Eat more of this [insert fattening food here] EAT DAMMIT!!! NOW!!!" (NOTE: I kid you not, I've been told this when my BMI is a 26--not hugely overweight but I wasn't a stick).

Or...

"Why are you losing weight??? It's sick! Being heavy is your natural body type. You're just going to be unhappy all your life as you will always have to fight it to live to the media's standards. Besides, doctors are full of crap when they say being overweight is not healthy. The whole world is bigotted!"

I try to be pleasant and explain A) I know what works for me, B) it's not necessarily true, or C) I know what I'm doing, but they just don't listen. I try to ignore them, but they never seem to drop it. It's a small thing, but irritating--especially when I go to visit relatives who try to force me to eat things I don't want.
 
It sounds to me like all the people making comments to you are really not satisfied with their own weight loss. It sounds like they're jealous---and jealousy tends to bring out the worst in people.

Maybe you can just respond by saying 'I'm happier and that's all that matters', smile really big and turn away from them or change the subject.

Hope it gets better!!
 
I know the feeling, even though I probably haven't had to deal with it as often as you. I just try to explain to them that my goal weight is completely natural, and it's what I would weigh if I'd lived healthily my whole life.
 
Thanks, guys. It hasn't been too too often. It's just with certain people. Some of it is jealousy, but I think some of it is people just trying to be "helpful." I shouldn't be taking it too seriously, but it's irritating.
 
Maybe people are afraid that if you change too much you will become a different person? It's pretty bad that people say these things, I can understand it if you were reducing from a healthy weight to an anorexic one, but when you're making a healthy plan for living and they are trying actively to make you stop or even gain weight? That's crazy.
 
Two reason that I've found that people do this: They are overweight and you losing weight makes them uncomfortable because it makes them confront their own weight problem. They are thinner than you and like feeling superior and/or don't want to lose the dynamic of them being the "thin one".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top