Hello,
so first of all i think i will start with how i used to be
Ive been large my whole life. I was a chubby kid and a fat preteen and a 'pushing obese' teenager.
Im 18 years old now, but i topped the scale at nearly 200 pounds two years ago. I was 16 and 198lbs.
I lost 30 pounds in 2005, between the months of feb-april.
Before anyone congratulates me...it was a healthy weight loss
I was depressed, my boyfriend of a year had broken up with me and I was the general cant eat/cant sleep broken hearted puddle of self pity.
Unfortunatly it doesnt end there. I was also throwing up eachtime i attempted to brush my teeth, so what little liquids i was getting wasnt staying.
I know everyone is going to think i am lying, but i wasnt forcing myself to throw up. I would barely have the brush on my teeth and i would be gagging and throwing up. I would have given anything to stop, i wass miserable and the not eating and the lack of sleep and the throwing up several time until i could get my teeth brushed was not my idea of healing.
I spent a week during march break at my cuzin's house. She has been my support since we were born and i slowly felt better and did not throw up. She got me eating again, and lightened my mood overall. I dont think she knows it but i love her so much for that week.
So...although this weight loss was unhealthy i was determined to use it for a leg up. No way was i going back to 200lbs and i wass going to be empowered by this breakup rather then broken.
i began to exercise like crazy, everyday for at least 45 minutes, and i was cutting calories down and i was losing, i was losing several pounds a week. I felt awsome and i didnt want it to stop.
Its clear by now that im emotionally conected to food. Im not in the typcial "im miserable lets drown my sorrows in icecream" way, but the opposite....so when i met my new and wonderful boyfriend (1 year and 4 months now lol) i began to get comfy and overeat again....to be totally honest, i would binge eat at times and i gained some of my weight back.
In december 2006 i weighed in at 165lbs. I decided to make an unhealthy choice and joined an online webring of people with eating disorders and i cut my caloric intake to 700 cals a day, which is what i calculated to be 3 pounds a week.
By January 1st i weighed 150 pounds.
Then I got fed up with the extremeness of the diet and I began to make the change to healthy eating again and concentrating on exercise.
So although ive gotten my caloric intake back up to a healthy number ive been exercising enough to maintain 151lbs.
So that is where i am today.
I know this was super long but i wanted to get my history down and for now on it will be shorter.
Please, i know my choices have been very unhealthy in the past and i am making the effort to change that, so no negative comments.
Thank you for reading
so first of all i think i will start with how i used to be
Ive been large my whole life. I was a chubby kid and a fat preteen and a 'pushing obese' teenager.
Im 18 years old now, but i topped the scale at nearly 200 pounds two years ago. I was 16 and 198lbs.
I lost 30 pounds in 2005, between the months of feb-april.
Before anyone congratulates me...it was a healthy weight loss
I was depressed, my boyfriend of a year had broken up with me and I was the general cant eat/cant sleep broken hearted puddle of self pity.
Unfortunatly it doesnt end there. I was also throwing up eachtime i attempted to brush my teeth, so what little liquids i was getting wasnt staying.
I know everyone is going to think i am lying, but i wasnt forcing myself to throw up. I would barely have the brush on my teeth and i would be gagging and throwing up. I would have given anything to stop, i wass miserable and the not eating and the lack of sleep and the throwing up several time until i could get my teeth brushed was not my idea of healing.
I spent a week during march break at my cuzin's house. She has been my support since we were born and i slowly felt better and did not throw up. She got me eating again, and lightened my mood overall. I dont think she knows it but i love her so much for that week.
So...although this weight loss was unhealthy i was determined to use it for a leg up. No way was i going back to 200lbs and i wass going to be empowered by this breakup rather then broken.
i began to exercise like crazy, everyday for at least 45 minutes, and i was cutting calories down and i was losing, i was losing several pounds a week. I felt awsome and i didnt want it to stop.
Its clear by now that im emotionally conected to food. Im not in the typcial "im miserable lets drown my sorrows in icecream" way, but the opposite....so when i met my new and wonderful boyfriend (1 year and 4 months now lol) i began to get comfy and overeat again....to be totally honest, i would binge eat at times and i gained some of my weight back.
In december 2006 i weighed in at 165lbs. I decided to make an unhealthy choice and joined an online webring of people with eating disorders and i cut my caloric intake to 700 cals a day, which is what i calculated to be 3 pounds a week.
By January 1st i weighed 150 pounds.
Then I got fed up with the extremeness of the diet and I began to make the change to healthy eating again and concentrating on exercise.
So although ive gotten my caloric intake back up to a healthy number ive been exercising enough to maintain 151lbs.
So that is where i am today.
I know this was super long but i wanted to get my history down and for now on it will be shorter.
Please, i know my choices have been very unhealthy in the past and i am making the effort to change that, so no negative comments.
Thank you for reading
