Danie's Diary

texmom

texmom

New member
This is the first time I have ever done anything like this. I've struggled with weight for as long as I can remember but have never done anything like this before, actually put in print what I'm doing, what I weigh, what I eat! Craziness I tell ya!
Seems to be highly recomended around here, so I will do it.

I'm 32 years old, a sahm of 4. My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 6 months. You would think I would not have so much time to eat but it's amazing how quickly you can shovle in food when you are addicted to it. I currently weigh 224 lbs. I'm 5ft 9in. My first goal is to get to 199. I had finally made it to 198 just before I got pregnant this last time (was quite suprised by baby number 4) and now, well...............you know the story.
I would love to have this accomplished by my b-day which is Feb 22. However I'm afraid that might not be realistic...........any input on this would be greatly appreciated.
Otherwise I'm thinking of not putting a date on that goal. I'm not sure which is the best way to go. I can think of pro's and con's both ways, so again, any input would be great.
My plan (for now) is counting calories, (staying under 1200) and hitting the gym. As for the gym, I love it. I've been going for over a year. I began going to Curves 2 years ago. At that time I weighed 226 got to about 212 then switched to the gym I currently go to. That's when I got down to 198. Most weeks I make it 5 days a week. The problem is that I will go regularly for 3 weeks or so, then miss several days, then go regularly, then miss several, you get the idea.
So, my goal for excersice is to make it at least 5 days a week EVERY week.
Today I went to a step aerobic class, that was completely new for me. It was a interval aerobic?? class. Had a mixture of step areobic and weight training. I enjoyed it even though it was very difficult for me. I had more energy afterward than I do when I do my normal workout which is at least 40 mins on the eliptical. Strange.

My downfall is food. Obviously. If I could put the same effort into my eating habbits as I do into my workouts, I'd look great in no time. But alas.........I'm human.

I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to put into this diary thing but it seems I've been rattling on for awhile now.


Today was good. I had 800 calories. I know that is a bit low and not realistic at all. Just ended up that way.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and wants to give me some advice. I'd love and welcome all of it.
 
You have a real problem in that you are a mom, at home all the time, and have to make food for everyone, not just yourself. Have you tried a food diary?

It's always fun being the first one to post in a new thread, isn't it? :p
 
You're exactly right, it's a huge problem. I'm around food all the time. I've seen peopole talking about finding something to do when they are wanting to eat. My problem is that I'm in the kitchen all the time and it's just too easy to grab something and eat. Last night I did well, I made them pizza and chips and dip and I actually did not touch any of it. Amazing for me.

Never tried a food diary. I'm assuming you mean to write down everything I eat? I did start something like that yesterday and today. I read somewhere on here about a webiste that you can put in everything you eat and it keeps track of your calories. It's pretty neat and very helpful to keep a running tab of my calorie intake.
So far so good!
 
A food diary for me is painful, because even if my quantity is more normal, I still lack a lot in the "quality" department. *sigh*
Just remember that you have to make it YOURS, nobody else gets to look at it, if you don't want to allow them to; it really helps keep you honest.

I'm proud of you for the good behavior in the kitchen, I graze all the time when I am cooking; I just try to do it with good stuff, instead of the worst stuff. You might benefit from making a quick snack for yourself (celery sticks, snap peas, something very low cal like that) and snacking on that while you cook, or using it to dip your 'taste of the sauce' instead of a wedge of bread/cheese/pepperoni/whatever. I have a big problem with that, and the "how many calories ARE in a broken cookie?" concept.
 
I hear ya! Especially on the "how many cals. in one bite of whatever?"

I've done well today so far. I did well yesterday. I stayed under 1200 cals. barely, but I did it.
Today is proving to be more trying. My dh and kids had chili dogs for lunch...........sooooooo not fair! I did have one bite of dh's, so there again, exactly how many cals is that anyway?
I just finished lunch and feel fine. I think maybe my stomach is begining to adjust. I'm feeling fuller with less food.
It has been a tremendous help to have that website to keep track of my cals. I know I would not do it otherwise.
I haven't made it to the gym yet today but do plan to later on.

Well, that's it for now.
 
HI there, I totally understand how hard it is to keep track of things and watch what you are eating. A food diary also is working for me, because it made me realize just how much i was eating without thinking about it. Im not so much watching calories..im just watching my food groups. *so many proteins, so many fruits/veggies..ect.
My first food diaries...though painful...were definately something i needed to see, and yes i was ashamed of what i wrote down, cuz not only am i a food adict, im a binger at times..and i made my self write down binges.. All i can say is..wow..lol..what a shock
Anyways...its great that you are here with people that really do care and are interested in you and your progress
take care
Michelle :)
 
I'm really scared of the binges. I don't know how you find the courage to write those down. I know they will come, I hope I can be as honest with myself as you are. Right now it's pretty easy, it's only day 3. I do great for about a week. Then I'll have a big binge and that's the end of that. I'm determined to change that cycle this time around. I'm too old to waste time now!

Thank you for the encouragement, it helps in so many ways. I hope I can have the presence of mind to come here when the cravings really begin. It's really nice to not feel so alone.

It's the end of another day and I made it! I even made it to the gym. It's funny. I usually go during the week and in the morning. Today being Saturday and so cold and rainy, I was a little worried that the only people up there would be the die hards and I'd be self concious. It wasn't too bad though. A lot less crowded. So glad I went.
I do need to find some snacks that I can eat though. My problem is that I hate veggies. All of them. Guess I better learn to eat them anyway!
 
Hey Texmom,
Good for you for surviving day 3!!

As for recording binges - just know that you're the only one that will ever see those numbers...;)

And know too, that if there is that binge - it doesn't have to be the end of all that you've worked for - you just get back up, dust yourself off and move on.

:)
 
Yep, we'll even commiserate with you for slipping and talk about things that might help prevent it in the future :D Like making yourself drink a full glass of water, and a healthy (fiber rich) snack, then waiting half an hour before a binge. If you're gonna do it, you KNOW it ahead of time, so prepare for it and get some cheater foods into yourself first. Fiber absorbs fat, and helps prevent starches from doing as much damage to your hips (according to my mom, she's a nurse, but can be kinda flakey), and the water or diet soda or whatever will help you feel full sooner.

I promise, you aren't the only one who binges, and a lot of us have learned some tips for damage control. :D
 
Hi Texmom!

I'm a SAHM of two right now (have to go back to work in June). I have tried to make cooking a hobby. I've been collecting healthier recipes, and trying to change the way I make things. It's been a big help. If you want some ideas, just ask. For example, you CAN make chili dogs at home, and have one yourself. I make chili using ground chicken instead of beef, and it tastes the same. Turkey dogs are yummy too. Every little bit helps. :)
 
Those are all great tips! I even have a couple of cookbooks that have healthy versions of some of my favorite. Just a matter of digging them out and giving it a try. My dh and I both need to eat better. He is not really big, but he is bigger than he used to be. Age has caught up with him and his metabolisim is not what it used to be.
I'm suprised at how much just coming here is helping. Doesn't matter if I write myself or just read other people's thoughts. Funny, actually keeps my mind off food. Who would've thought that!
 
Oh hun i am so with you, i am a SAHM of 2 and babysit a 4 year old, and man those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are my favorite!!! i used to eat 1 maybe 2 and now i cant even lick the peanut butter off the knife!!! its so hard, but it seems like everytime isay no to foood, it almost empowers me a little bit more, ive just learned when people ask me if i want a cookie or some candy to say "no thanks im so full" even if im not, that way they dont get into "oh so youre trying to lose weight" because maybe i dont want to talk about it when theyre eating some yummy candy or cookies! anyways, youre doing great and hang in there!!
 
It is so enpowering! Why does it take us so long to figure that out? And why do we sometimes forget that?
I'll have to remember that response to the offer of food. It does kind of leave anyone with a comment no where to go, know what I mean?
 
ive just learned when people ask me if i want a cookie or some candy to say "no thanks im so full" even if im not, that way they dont get into "oh so youre trying to lose weight" because maybe i dont want to talk about it when theyre eating some yummy candy or cookies!
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That's a good idea. Because the opposite happens for me. I've learned that for me, I can't deny myself everything that's not superhealthy, because then I'll binge on it by the weekend. If I was craving a peanut butter sandwich, I would make a half a one with low-cal bread and sugar-free jam. Yum, now I want one... :rolleyes:

So when I am treating myself to something, I get 'the look' from those who know I'm losing weight. At Christmas, my mom would say she would make chocolate chip cookies or whatever, and then say, "oh, but you can't eat that'. Well, yes, I can, I can eat whatever I want. I just have to watch my portions.
 
dariqueen said:
At Christmas, my mom would say she would make chocolate chip cookies or whatever, and then say, "oh, but you can't eat that'. Well, yes, I can, I can eat whatever I want. I just have to watch my portions.
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Oh how I hate that!!!!! Honestly it's the worst part of people knowing you are trying to lose weight!!
 
Yep, that's why I didn't tell anyone at first, I didn't not want anyone judging what I put in my mouth.

LIke DQ, I have had to say, NUMEROUS times, I can have what I want, I just do it in moderation and watch proportions!
 
Hi again,
Binging has been part of my life since i was very young. What helped me (not that im done with binging, its very much a work in progress) was talking to others about it. I remember the first time i told a co worker..she was shocked. She said..But I never see you eat too much!.. Well thats because i binge in private..away from the eyes of the world. There was something so healing in admitting that i have this problem. I needed to tell her at first because she was very good at encouraging me to eat things that I knew could potentially trigger me. *she didnt do this on purpose, she didnt know* Then I realized that I needed to hear myself say outloud that I binge.
That is what is so fantastic about talking here, you have people all around you that totally understand..or at least are willing to listen and try to understand.
Eventually you will find a way that works for you.
:)
Michelle
 
"I CAN eat whatever I want to, but I DON'T. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD do it."

There's my mantra, right there. ;)
 
I can feel myself standing on the edge of self destruction. I did well yesterday until dinner time. It was Sunday so I decided I would have what everyone else is having. Big mistake. Actually, to be honest, I did still eat quite a bit less than I normally would have. One of the things we were having was queso and chips and normally I just gorge myself on it. I had one small laddle full in my bowl and I didn't even finish it.
My big mistake came when I made cupcakes and fosting for the kids. When will I learn that I am just not strong enough for that right now. It was great for the kids and they had fun decorating but they would have fun doing something else!

I was determined to "make up" for it today. Well that went to he!! in a hand basket right off the bat. I made bisquits and sausage. It just smelled so good! So, I had one bisquit and some sausage.
Ok, bad but not shockingly bad. But then, I swear without even thinking, I went and ate two cupcakes (without frosting)!!!!

What's wrong with me? Why can't I behave for more 4 or 5 days?
So of course now my mind keeps telling me that I already blew it for today so I might as well go ahead and eat what I want the rest of the day.
Not too mention I can't get to the gym because of the weather.

I just need someone to come and kick me in the a#$.
Either that or take all the food out of my house.
 
texmom said:
So of course now my mind keeps telling me that I already blew it for today so I might as well go ahead and eat what I want the rest of the day.
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Ooooh... that's a horrible feeling. I know it all too well. I used to feel that way, but not so much anymore. When that happens, I try hard not to think about today and think about tomorrow instead. Think "Ok, I just ate 500 cals that I shouldn't have. I could make today an off-day and have 500 more. But then tomorrow that's 1000 cals to burn off, instead of just 500." Keep the future and your goal in mind. You'll make it over the hump!

I just discovered your diary and it's great. It sounds as though you're being very honest with yourself. That's the key that will open the door to reaching your goals. Good work.
 
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