Curvie Girlie
New member
SELF esteem
Random thought, Katt Williams is a fucking genius. You might not like his way of articulating himself, but he IS very smart (and a Virgo....figures, so is Dave Chappelle), he has EXCELLENT stage presence, I mean, the way he uses things on the stage as props? Totally impressive. But here's a short clip that made me think:
If you can't watch youtube, I'll transcribe because it's short:
"Ladies, I'm tellin' you, you got to be The Shit, to you. Stop waitin' on a nigga to verify whether you The Shit or not, Bitch, if you THE SHIT, you the MUTHAFUCKIN' SHIT. We tired of y'all gettin' with us, and blamin' us for shit we ain't even in control of. You done got with a nigga now you talkin' bout 'You fucked up my self esteem.' [screaming] Bitch it's called SELF esteem!!!! It's esteem of yo muthafuckin' SELF, Bitch!!!!! How the FUCK did I fuck up how you feel about YOU, simple bitch?"
Of course, he's purposely leaving out the very serious intricacies involved in esteem for oneself (as well as "terrible language", but I personally have no problem with that, heh heh
), but the bottom line makes sense and is clear.
NO ONE CAN REALLY FUCK UP HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. I think that as people, we forget our inner strength and power too frequently.
When I was going though it with my ex, I lost my sense of self almost completely. I was like "Fuck. It happened to me, I actually got caught up in a bad relationship with a self-centered asshole and allowed him to cause me to see myself as worthless. Shit!"
So what did I do? Suffered, moped, mourned the loss of myself. While doing whatever it took to feel better short of slamming scag or whatever. Then I started to build myself up. It took a lot of time, and looking back, I don't think I could have done much differently to speed up the process. However, with Katt's words enlightening me a bit, I realized I wasn't on top of my game with my reflection in the first place! I'm giving myself a break in saying I was young and still developing my personality, although you could argue that there is little difference between being the age of 23-25 and 26. I disagree; anything can happen within oneself in a DAY, let alone months or years.
The point of all this is, I lived and I learned, and I'm VERY VERY hesitant to put myself in any situation where I might lose my high (but humbly healthy
) self esteem. This includes getting very deeply emotionally involved with my boyfriend. The very fact that I miss him so bad right now disturbs me. I had been saying to myself "I'd rather be a Buddhist MONK than get into a dramatic relationship ever again!" before I met PZ. And I'm constantly awestruck on how easy and pleasant out relationship is. WOW. 
It's like, almost too good to be true.
But ya know, I'm not one to fuck up a good thing, at least not anymore . The best I can do, the ONLY thing I want to do, is be a good girlfriend and act with an open heart, which includes honesty, integrity, patience, empathy, kindness, right speech, inner wisdom, indulgent doting, and of course, sexual generosity. Because that's how I roll. 
WHILE AT THE SAME TIME maintaining my independence, and that means emotional independence above all. I'll always have days or periods of time where I need more support from loved ones. That's just Life. But a few years ago, I actually BASED my happiness on how my ex was treating me. I LIVED for him. That was the most fucked up kind of behavior I ever did, and I'm so glad it's over! I've talked to PZ about it because I feel like I can talk to him about almost anything, and he's sympathetic to my declarations of "Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome." What a guy!!! 
OK, random thought over.
Random thought, Katt Williams is a fucking genius. You might not like his way of articulating himself, but he IS very smart (and a Virgo....figures, so is Dave Chappelle), he has EXCELLENT stage presence, I mean, the way he uses things on the stage as props? Totally impressive. But here's a short clip that made me think:
If you can't watch youtube, I'll transcribe because it's short:
"Ladies, I'm tellin' you, you got to be The Shit, to you. Stop waitin' on a nigga to verify whether you The Shit or not, Bitch, if you THE SHIT, you the MUTHAFUCKIN' SHIT. We tired of y'all gettin' with us, and blamin' us for shit we ain't even in control of. You done got with a nigga now you talkin' bout 'You fucked up my self esteem.' [screaming] Bitch it's called SELF esteem!!!! It's esteem of yo muthafuckin' SELF, Bitch!!!!! How the FUCK did I fuck up how you feel about YOU, simple bitch?"
Of course, he's purposely leaving out the very serious intricacies involved in esteem for oneself (as well as "terrible language", but I personally have no problem with that, heh heh
), but the bottom line makes sense and is clear.NO ONE CAN REALLY FUCK UP HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. I think that as people, we forget our inner strength and power too frequently.
When I was going though it with my ex, I lost my sense of self almost completely. I was like "Fuck. It happened to me, I actually got caught up in a bad relationship with a self-centered asshole and allowed him to cause me to see myself as worthless. Shit!"
So what did I do? Suffered, moped, mourned the loss of myself. While doing whatever it took to feel better short of slamming scag or whatever. Then I started to build myself up. It took a lot of time, and looking back, I don't think I could have done much differently to speed up the process. However, with Katt's words enlightening me a bit, I realized I wasn't on top of my game with my reflection in the first place! I'm giving myself a break in saying I was young and still developing my personality, although you could argue that there is little difference between being the age of 23-25 and 26. I disagree; anything can happen within oneself in a DAY, let alone months or years.The point of all this is, I lived and I learned, and I'm VERY VERY hesitant to put myself in any situation where I might lose my high (but humbly healthy
) self esteem. This includes getting very deeply emotionally involved with my boyfriend. The very fact that I miss him so bad right now disturbs me. I had been saying to myself "I'd rather be a Buddhist MONK than get into a dramatic relationship ever again!" before I met PZ. And I'm constantly awestruck on how easy and pleasant out relationship is. WOW. It's like, almost too good to be true.
But ya know, I'm not one to fuck up a good thing, at least not anymore . The best I can do, the ONLY thing I want to do, is be a good girlfriend and act with an open heart, which includes honesty, integrity, patience, empathy, kindness, right speech, inner wisdom, indulgent doting, and of course, sexual generosity. Because that's how I roll. WHILE AT THE SAME TIME maintaining my independence, and that means emotional independence above all. I'll always have days or periods of time where I need more support from loved ones. That's just Life. But a few years ago, I actually BASED my happiness on how my ex was treating me. I LIVED for him. That was the most fucked up kind of behavior I ever did, and I'm so glad it's over! I've talked to PZ about it because I feel like I can talk to him about almost anything, and he's sympathetic to my declarations of "Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome." What a guy!!! OK, random thought over.
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