Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me

[Curvie Girlie]

Many people see people as big as me and think I'm stupid or not worth their time or respect. I've seen too many people in total shock when I do something normal that suggests I have some intelligence. Then when they find out I'm talented too...well wow, it blows their minds.

What is WITH people?!?!?!?!

after a really bad car accident I was in a wheel chair for almost a year while I relearned how to walk. It was obvious my leg was broken but people assumed I was mentally slow or deaf. They would look at whoever was with me and try to hand them my change and I was constantly asking people "why are you yelling". Now I'm short so instead of getting me the correct size crutches the hospital gave me a walker. That was even worse. This woman was going out the double doors in JC Penny's and actually doubled back to close the door in my face because she thought I was mentally delayed and making a break for it.

WHOA, holy shit!

First off, I'm glad you survived and are here to tell! Car accidents are terrifying, I know a LOT of people who were KILLED by them, and as a commuter in an area with lots of mountain roads I tell ya......I've seen some horrible accidents *shudder* Second, WHAT A TRIP to have to deal with people acting all weird like they think you're "challenged" and shit! *shakes head in disbelief* Because of a fucking walker???!?!? Wait wait wait, WHERE do you live now? I have to check....

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Ohio. Never been there.

I remember some kind of old Maury or Sally Jesse show or something, where some punk ass kids always were cruel to their overweight peers, then the show had them don fat suits and go through their day in makeup, and I remember they got treated like crap and learned a lesson. Fuckers. NOW I remember!

 

[Curvie Girlie]

I love this one! A good skit on how Katt had his son on Ritalin for a while:

Katt is a REAL person, I tell ya!

 

[douknowjello]

I lived in California at the time but people aren't that different here. In fact they are more vocal so you don't have to guess what they're thinking, they flat out tell you, lol. But yea I'm lucky to be alive. I was trapped in my car for over two hours and conscious. They had to use the jaws of life to get me out. Amazingly the first woman on the scene crawled through the broken window to get to me and keep me calm. So as much as their are A-holes out there, there's some angels too And I should remind myself more often that it's a miracle I'm even walking. The doctor told me after I was that I wasn't supposed to have been able to. But it's been almost ten years since the accident and I'm ready for some new victories

 

[Curvie Girlie]

I'm FLOORED. WOW. So glad you made it!

And came such a long way. I'm really excited for you to get to your goal and enjoy your "new body"

 

[geoaidan]

Lisa,

Wow, I'm glad you made it out of that accident alive!! I know what's it like to be in a major accident. I was hit by a drunk driver when I was 18. That was pretty bad. I walked out there with just a bruise from my seatbelt. My cousin had just a mere bump on his head. We both were lucky to make it out of there alive. To make it worse, the car I was driving had an automatic belt system.. It never worked, so I never wore my belt. That day, it worked for no reason earlier in the day, it just started working. To make it worse, the emergency button wouldn't work, so I couldn't just unhook the belt manually. Saved our lives for sure.

But I just cannot imagine what you have gone through. That tops it all. I'm very happy that you made it out of there alive and eventually, walking.


Val/Lisa:

DAMN, you really think they treat you differently because of your weight? You know, I'd have to be one IG'NANT BITCH to act differently, i.e., NOT friendly and respectfully, toward a person based on her weight.

Oh yeah, I have noticed that too, definitely. Definitely. Before I gained all the weight, I used to have constantly tell women that are interested in me that I was taken. Since I gained the weight, not a single one of them showed an interest in me.

Another thing I can tell you is- I have a facebook profile, right? There is this female friend that I have known for years. Knew her back in college, her sorority and my fraternity tended to hang out with each other a lot back in the day. Anyway, I heard absolutely nothing from her over 10 years.. I was always the one that initiated a conversation. She never did initiate anything. As soon as I announced I lost 40 pounds a couple weeks ago on my facebook account-

Oh oh there it is. She was like "hi hon, that's so awesome! I'm so proud of you!"... That is the first thing out of her mouth in 10 years that she initiated herself. That turned me off, I can tell you that.

Also, I used to be invited to a lot of parties when I was thinner. Hell, in high school, I went to 4 different proms in the same year! But since I gained the weight, I have been invited to just one party/event- just one in 10 years. And it was a get-together of really old childhood friends. It does make one wonder.

And now, that I have lost close to 45 pounds, guess what? Already got invited to 2 events this month. Yeah. Of course, I chose not to attend. I'm not going to make it that easy for these people to regain my trust. No way, Jose.

Sadly, the only ones that I know for a fact that are true friends are people that were heavy before, or are currently heavy. That's the only way I can trust people now. If they're skinny, I do subconsciously wonder "would they have anything to do with me if I were a fat fuck?"

I also remember back at my last year in college, I was on my way to get heavy, and there was this group of dudes that wanted to play indoor soccer. One of the "leaders" said that I should go sit down and play halfway through. I was like "fuck you, asshole. I played 4 years of soccer, and was the captain of my high school soccer team". He looked at me and said "ah, I didn't mean nothin' bro.. It's just that you are... You know..." I'm like "come on, don't be a dickhead". So, he swallowed hard and let me play. It turned out that I outperformed almost everybody on that day. Sure showed him.

So, I can definitely say "YES", people do treat others differently when they are perceived as fat fucks.


George

 

[Curvie Girlie]

So, I can definitely say "YES", people do treat others differently when they are perceived as fat fucks.

Every snide, condescending skinny bitch and asshole alive needs to put on a fat suit and see what it's like!

 

[MissDFITT]

Funny this topic comes up. I'm actually doing a paper on this very topic this semester and how obeseity effects communication. Finding research so far has been rough because apparently there hasn't been much done on it. I know from personal experience that being obese has effected my communications skills now. I'm hoping do some some interviews and see if people are being discrimiated against.... I hope to find some interesting results!

 

[chouston]

I don't know if I was ever big enough to really experience any kind of discrimination. On the flip side though, one funny thing I have noticed is that when the topic of weight loss comes up and someone will say to me "oh but YOU obviously never had a weight problem" I actually get OFFENDED! I feel like I have worked very hard to educate myself about fitness and nutrition, I've spent countless hours at the gym and skipped many delicious treats... then people assume I am just "lucky".

I guess I should be flattered

 

[Curvie Girlie]

I did it! And it wasn't a big deal!

I told PZ "I love you" and it went well! ​

This is just the first of good news. Damn I feel like it'll take forever to update, I'll try to be as concise as possible:

PZ came home earlier than I thought--I expected him not to be back until Thursday So after Yoga I called to see if he wasn't too tired for me to visit--and he definitely wanted me over. PZ is a lazy MoFo, so he usually is laying in bed when I come over--just where a man should be, haha! Anyway, I crawled in, and man oh man, just relaxing next to his beefy but soft, hot, manly 6'2" frame (with the best chest I've ever seen on a non-celebrity male body including the nicest nipples on a man, hmm, is that weird to note? He DOES have perfect nipples and I've never put importance on that before ) made me melt, and of course he was stroking my shoulder with his hand like he always does. He's an expert cuddler! Anyway he told me about his snowboarding trip, and we chatted about our upcoming one--he might not take me to Kirkwood afterall due to the expense, maybe just SoLakeTaho, but whatever! Anyway, I hadn't planned on staying the night because I don't have clean clothes, but when I told him I was leaving he gave me a sad puppy dog face without meaning to, and I was like "I can't say not to that face!" So I stayed, now I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday, oh well!

Yeah and before bed we had a hot steamy session, bow-chicka-bow-wow! HAHA what do you get when you you see a brown chicken and a brown cow hooking up? A brown-chicken-brown cooowwww! Anyway, we actually ended up talking a bunch before going to sleep, and the conversation ended up going into Why Things Didn't Work Out With Our Exes, Most Recent And Otherwise. I learned, for the first time, that he was ENGAGED once when he was 21! I was very curious about what happened there--apparently this chick wanted to move to Australia, he didn't, they fought all the time (hard for me to believe, but he said it was partly his age, partly that they brought it out in each other and I can totally relate to that) and there was a dramatic ending to it that traumatized poor PZ--a thing with the ring, she moved and he didn't, she ended up marrying someone else 2 moths after she got to Australia, he was living all by himself in a trailer in the mountains at the time, all his friends at that time were drug addicts, he had a relative in prison.....just terrible shit! Well, after that story I soothed him by saying, "Well look at you now--you're happy, you're a baller, you live in Santa Cruz, you have a cool, fun, and hot girlfriend.......and I love you." I'm a chickenshit, I know--I tacked it on at the end and we weren't even facing each other . But! I said it, I meant it, and he answered back quickly and with a tone of surprise "I love you too." It was kinda the tone where like, someone says, "My mom's name is Leslie," and you're like, "hey, mine too!" What a surprise! LOL

SO I'm so glad THAT'S out of the way, haha! I swear, everytime I hang out with my boyfriend I like him even more, because he's so fucking cool, such a sweetie pie, and he truly is smart, wise, interesting, and a great conversationalist. Doesn't hurt that we think alike and he agrees with almost everything I say, heh!

continued....

 

[Curvie Girlie]

In other news: I'm gonna see STRIKEFORCE MMA battle on April 11th!! Here's the lineup: I'm really excited about seeing Josh "The Punk" Thompson, I'm a fan! Oooooh god, check out this video where's he's demonstrating some grappling moves with a lucky chick!

I'm seeing on March 14th!!!! YAY!!!​

And seeing UK DJ RUSKO!!!! On March 20th......ah fun times, fun times!

Diet and stuff: Not bad, not good, maintaining, I haven't weighed myself today, PZ has no scale--I ate some Girl Scout cookies today and there's gonna be pizza for a co-worker's birthday, so I'll have to limit myself to 2 slices if I want to eat a decent dinner! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Course, I don't have to eat the pizza, but c'mon! They're gonna order tomato, pesto and feta! The weather is perfect; I'll pack running clothes and go running tomorrow at lunch break, yee haw!

OK, I have lots of work to do, I'll be around when I can. If I'm not visiting your diary, I'm sorry and will try to give a shoutout when possible, lately I've been making it to diaries high on my subscriptions list and those who've been up in here, but I love you all! LOL

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Funny this topic comes up. I'm actually doing a paper on this very topic this semester and how obeseity effects communication. Finding research so far has been rough because apparently there hasn't been much done on it. I know from personal experience that being obese has effected my communications skills now. I'm hoping do some some interviews and see if people are being discrimiated against.... I hope to find some interesting results!

I bet you could get a TON of testimonies from here!!!!! Ask around, I'm sure people will help you

I don't know if I was ever big enough to really experience any kind of discrimination. On the flip side though, one funny thing I have noticed is that when the topic of weight loss comes up and someone will say to me "oh but YOU obviously never had a weight problem" I actually get OFFENDED! I feel like I have worked very hard to educate myself about fitness and nutrition, I've spent countless hours at the gym and skipped many delicious treats... then people assume I am just "lucky".

I guess I should be flattered

I understand. I have been told "you're genetically blessed" and "you look naturally skinny" and I was floored because that was the FIRST TIME I EVER, EVER EVER EVER heard that shit, and it happens to be at a time in my life where I'm exercising and watching what I eat religiously!

 

[chouston]

I understand. I have been told "you're genetically blessed" and "you look naturally skinny" and I was floored because that was the FIRST TIME I EVER, EVER EVER EVER heard that shit, and it happens to be at a time in my life where I'm exercising and watching what I eat religiously!

I guess I should be happy they're not asking "so, what's it like to be such a fatty?" LOL

 

[Alta818]

WOW!!! I really liked what he posted there.....Geoaidan...!!! ...I have always asked myself those same questions I about being big and about the people that surround themselves around you, and whether they would still be there if you were FAT or SKINNY!?!?!!!!....and FOR SURE people want you around more when you aren't fat, and you look better....IT SUCKS yes...., and the thinner you get, the more you notice it I think....

...I think that's one of the reasons I wanted a fat suit all my life (up until now) as well, cause it makes it much easier to weed through who is really there for YOU, thick or thin!!.......sounds stupid, it does,....but it's REAL!! I always wanted REAL TRUE WARM CARING individuals around who cared more about me than what I looked like on the outside!!!

 

[Alta818]

OMG !!! That was sooooo sweet of you VAL to tell PZ you LOVE HIM!!!!!! AWWWWW......LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!! !!!! I love it!!! I love it!!! Wooohooo!!!

.....that is AMAZING that you both are on the SAME PAGE.........!!!! CONGRATS!

 

[Curvie Girlie]

I guess I should be happy they're not asking "so, what's it like to be such a fatty?" LOL

Word! Or how I've been hearing it around here lately and I hate, "I know, ri-ight?"

WOW!!! I really liked what he posted there.....Geoaidan...!!!

George is super smart, caring, and awesome--check him out!

I think that's one of the reasons I wanted a fat suit all my life (up until now) as well, cause it makes it much easier to weed through who is really there for YOU, thick or thin!!

Reminds me of my ex housemate, Brian, who dons a huge beard to weed out the fake muthafuckers from the REAL people who won't judge him for choosing to look like a fucking GARDEN GNOME, haha!

 

[Alta818]

......Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....that made me REALLY REALLY realize how stupid that sounds!!! !!!! ..........IMAGINE ALL THE THINGS IN THE WORLD THAT PEOPLE COULD DO TO WEED OUT THE FAKE MOFOS!!?!?! ....You are so funny VAL!!! !!

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Oh why thank you, Gracious Alta And I appreciate the kudos for LOVE! A great thing, ain't it?

 

[douknowjello]

ZOMG, I'm SO excited for ya!! Did your heart pitter patter and did you melt when he said it? I'm a sucker for a romantic happy ending Well not ending in your case cuz I get to keep reading each week and live vicariously. But OH...I got a rose this week..JUST BECAUSE....NEVER had that happen before So guess what we talked about before with me trying to be more understanding is actually helping, lol.

I came by to say sorry for being so intense yesterday, I get like that sometimes. But then I read all the other comments and I was like "wow this forum is friggin awesome". Don't know why that surprises me that so many others understand that frustrating feeling. And THANK YOU GEORGE...you seriously made me feel better

Anyway love ya Val, hope your week just gets better and better Although I don't know how you're gonna top "I LOVE YOU" from PZ.

 

[Curvie Girlie]

your heart pitter patter and did you melt when he said it?

Actually, I was relived it was finally out and over with! Sorry Lisa, I like to kill moods with humor But yes, I was very glad, but actually just a little surprised because I didn't know he was going to answer so quickly!

I got a rose this week..JUST BECAUSE....NEVER had that happen before

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww YAY! Good, I'm glad!

I came by to say sorry for being so intense yesterday, I get like that sometimes. But then I read all the other comments and I was like "wow this forum is friggin awesome".

Don't EVER feel the need to apologize, we VENT here, it is A-OK and as a matter of fact, I'm pretty shocked and pleased that people don't end up fighting on here very often! LOL It is awesome!

Anyway love ya Val, hope your week just gets better and better Although I don't know how you're gonna top "I LOVE YOU" from PZ.

Love ya too! Have a great day!