Nothing like hospitals and dead rats to take your mind off penises
Word!
So I get out of kickboxing and the message is on my phone is from Chris: he's in the hospital and that's why he hasn't answered his phone (I'd been calling since Saturday and was gonna cruise by to see whaddup). I'm like, I'll be right over! After dinner and some wine...so I have dinner (brown rice with red cabbage, hijiki, tofu, and sunflower seed sprouts with tahini dressing and a blueberry flax seed ricemilk 10 oz smoothie) and stop by my friend's house to drop off her b-day present and have some wine.
Then I go to THE HOSPITAL
Bunnies don't like hospitals--but this one was very fancy indeed. Still, I got lost and confused a few times. Chris thought he was in room 2225 but he was really in 1216. First, I accidentally walked into the maternity ward
. "I'm looking for Chris ____,"
"Hmmmm, did she just recently have a baby?"
"What??"
Then I went upstairs because the rooms that are in the 2000s are upstairs and Chris was really downstairs. I wandered around a bunch of sick and old people and almost got ran over by the nurses wheeling beds around corners. When I finally got to the downstairs ICU, I was supposed to call on a phone in front of the ward. I called and a woman answered.
"Hi my name is Valerie and I'm on the list to visit Chris _____"
"Ok, he's in room 1216."
"Um, how do I get there?" I said crankily. By this time I was worried about Chris, panicked from the atmosphere, and grumpy about being lost and having the wrong room number.
"Well, where
are you?" she asked with a high inflection on "are" in a sing-song, mocking tone. I was flabbergasted!
"I'm on the pho-one," I answered bitchily, in the exact same inflected, sing-song mocking tone. Where the fuck else would I be?? Duh!!
"Right down the corridor and on the left."
When I finally got there, there was Chris all pale and skinny as usual, but this time curled on a hospital bed with IVs in him and stuff. No one else came to visit him. He said he'd been "out" since Saturday. Basically he was on his couch and he told his parents "I need a medic." The "medics" came, and apparently his blood PH was 7.1, whereas a normal person's is 7.4 and that is some serious shit!!! It was supposedly due to his chronically high blood sugar, which is a Catch 22 since if it goes low it goes REAL low to like 50, and he nearly and sometimes almost lapses into comas.
Poor Chris!! His pain was so severe they had to
inject Fentanyl into him (he takes it normally, transmucosally in microgram tablets)
We chatted for a while then his male nurse came in. I made a joke about being there to make sure Chris wasn't molested. His nurse turned out to be apparently gay
. We could tell by his voice. He was like no other nurse I seen, either--meticulously tan, in shape, blond with perfect hair, probably about 30. He was very funny. Chris complained that his legs hurt and I offered to massage them. The nurse had been out, then he walked in when I had Chris's leg in my arms, rubbing it.
"I'm not doing anything!" I insisted. "He just said his legs hurt and I figured a massage might help!"
The nurse's eyebrows were WAY up: "No no! If it feels good,
do it, by all means!"
I swear it was like out of a fucking sitcom. Chris and I had a hearty good laugh about it all. We tried to "cuddle" a bit, then I left. Chris said he'd be out in a few days, and asked if he could see me one more time before I'm off to Hawaii--of course, I'm going again this evening.
Korrie! You SHOCK me, woman!!!!!!
