Crying

beccagodfrey

beccagodfrey

New member
I'm killing myself and I need to fix it now.

My name is Rebecca and I'm 25 years old and I'm morbidly obese. I stepped on a scale tonight for the first time in years and chocked in at 325lbs. I've never been this big and I am completely mortified.

I've tried several diets before from Weight Watchers to Atkins and everything in between and I've never stuck with anything long enough for any REAL results. But seeing as how I'm short (5'1) and so heavy, I know if I don't do something now, that I will kill myself from the weight. I don't want to have a stroke or a heart attack by the time I'm 30.

I've been on a diet with no support for a week and a half now. So far, I'm doing great. I'm eating correct portions, exercising, and even drinking water! But I've got to stick to it now. I HAVE to.

I'm tired of being held back by my weight. My personality doesn't belong in this body. I'm friendly and outgoing and vivacious and I don't want my personality to be trapped in a body that is so far from what I am. I'm tired of being tired.

So I'm setting my starting weight at 325. I wouldn't step on the scale a week and a half ago so I have no idea what my actual starting weight is. I'm crying as I write this, but sad tears that I let myself get this way and happy, because I know that I am GOING to make it work this time.

I just need some support along the way. =)


p.s. - I haven't had a regular soda in a week and a half! That in it's self is a HUGE accomplishment! Hahaha.
 
Stopping the regular soda is a huge first step. I wouldn't try doing fad diet per say, because they become expensive and hard to maintain. You want change your eating habits for good.

I was 255lbs when I started here, and have been in the 160 club for like a year. Basically, do 1 thing at a time, cut your calories (use an online calculator and try to do a deficit of 500 calories per day). Reward yourself once a week :)

Exercise will help as well, keep you healthier and drop lbs faster.
 
hi becca. i have nearly the same stats as you and recently cut out all sodas as well and have been trying to walk for an hr a day and do a few situps' push ups and such. Its hard! :/ I was thinking since we both are starting around the same time maybe we can motivate each other... i think it may help me at least.
btw my height is 5'2" and SW is 303, CW 296 to 300 still. Havent really lost anything yet...
good luck!
 
stick with it don't go on a diet just eat right "my biggest problem", exercise and really push yourself i push my self 6 days a week on cardio where i can barely stand after im done... and if you just stick with it and stay in it for the long haul your body will fit that personality...good luck to you..
 
I know exactly what you mean about the soda .. I haven't had any in 8 weeks, (i havent had coffee either) lol.. 8 weeks ago i was 264 and now im 237, it shows that you just need to keep pushing, and eventually you will be at your goal. If i can do it, I'm sure you can do it!!! GOOD LUCK:)
 
Hi Becca - I started off at 320 about a year ago and now am down to 195. 80% of losing weight is the first 10 days of your diet. If you can stick to a draconian calorie intake of 1500 per day for just 10 days, you will find that you're appetite will steadily begin to readjust and become more appropriate for someone your size, ergo, it will get easier to restrict on a regular basis, and your willpower will dramatically increase.

But those first 10 days are hell. I myself felt groggy, scatter-brained, inebriated, HUNGRY, got a sore throat, started coughing (almost like I had the flu), and would just nod off at random times throughout the day, even at work. What saved me was listening to music, and a whoooole lot of coffee. I'm still addicted to coffee today but that's way better than being addicted to food. Don't worry much about exercise during this period, just do whatever you have to do to make sure you do not exceed your calorie limit. If you cheat even one time-- you have to start all over again and try to go another 10 days without overeating.

I'm continuing to lose weight and hope to be about 160 lbs eventually. But if you can just get down to 200 lbs, you will drastically increase your life span, and then the rest is gravy (oops poor choice of words?)

I know you can do it. It won't be easy, but it's certainly doable. I'm rooting for you!

I'm from Mississippi too BTW - Hattiesburg. I loved that town.
 
I agree with jacklinger that the biggest hurdle is those first 10 days. When I first started my lifestyle change it was a huge step for me. I had to realize that diet and exercise could be a positive thing and not view the whole experience as an exercise in self induced pain and futility. Once I got to about 2 weeks in I actually started enjoying my exercise regime and getting outside. And boy, when I hit the scales and saw what a dramatic improvement I had made I was ecstatic. Just wait until you get that first little ego boost of seeing yourself lose 5 pounds and you will see, you can do anything you put your mind to! You can do this!
 
Thank you all so much for your well wishes!

It's hard but I'm doing it this time. I gotta!

I wanted a snack yesterday and when I went in to get a Diet Rootbeer, I started looking at calories on stuff and cried when I came out of the gas station...It hasn't been easy, but I'm trying my damnest to stick to it!
 
Some things that helped me were:
It's important if you have a bad day and eat badly that you don't beat yourself up about it and abandon your healthy eating but just try and learn from it and get straight back to eating well.
Also it's best to try and look at it as a permantent lifestyle change not a diet. You will then have a lot more chance of taking it off and keeping it off instead of going on a diet and then putting it all back on when you come off your diet.
Try to eat as soon as you start to feel hungry as if you leave it too long you will be more likely to binge.
Start a diary in the diary section of the forums to get loads of help and support.
Good luck, were all here for you :D
 
Gosh, you sound a lot like I used to. I used to cry all the time, I would be so ashamed of myself.....especially since I was the ONLY overweight person in my family.
Good for you for taking the first steps on losing weight. They are the hardest part and like others said....... it does get much easier!
I just wanted to add some things that helped me lose the weight.
First of all was Comcast on Demand because they have a ton of free exercise programs that I could turn on whenever I wanted.
Second for me is eating 5 small meals a day. My portion sizes were out of control until I realized what a REAL portion size is supposed to be.
I eat just enough every 3 hours to feel satisified but never totally full and heavy feeling. Even though I don't get that "brink in the stomach full feeling" like I used to from easting a lot and fatty foods I still feel satisfied, light and energized after eating........and the best part is I know I can have another small meal in just three hours :)
Also.........this might sound weird to some people but I STOPPED looking at my body in the mirror everyday. I would work out for a week and everyday pick out all of the things on my body that I didn't like......I would convince myself there was no way I would lose 100 pounds! So I stopped looking.....I would wait 2 weeks before totally looking at my body in front of the mirror and by then I would see the changes because enough time had passed and it made me feel great! Then I would go another 2 weeks and see more changes!!!
I hope this helped as least one person.... I used to weigh 235 and I'm not 165.......trying to get to 135 :)
Good luck!
 
I also crying as I write this. I have a different experience; I was always healthy up until my last 3 babies. I went from 150 to 241, I don't know if it was easier or harder because people I hadn't seen in a while would give me weightloss advice. I hated being fat but I didn't have the energy to do what it took to get fit again. I don't know what happened but one day I had had enough. I ransacked the house and threw out all the sit food, which I had just bought, and, for me, that was the beginning. That was october 09. I am now on my way to having a hard ass body, I'm 155.
It was WORK!!! I started working out in a class called Sculpt & Splash; it is a light weightlifting and water aerobics thing. At first I could only go once a week because I hurt so bad for so long I couldn't get up or down without crying out in pain.
Then there was the food, I would drink 3 Root Beer a day, I lovED soda. I loved fast food. I couldn't imagine not putting extra butter on everything and now I never even think of those foods. The last few inputs were so accurate, the 1st 2-3 weeks I would have eaten my hand, oh I was so hungry but so soon all cravings went away.
If you really want this you can do it. Almost every part is mind control. You ARE worth it. YOU can do it, feeling healthy is worth every single freak out screaming session was worth it.
Go get it!!!
 
beccagodfrey said:
Thank you all so much for your well wishes!

It's hard but I'm doing it this time. I gotta!

I wanted a snack yesterday and when I went in to get a Diet Rootbeer, I started looking at calories on stuff and cried when I came out of the gas station...It hasn't been easy, but I'm trying my damnest to stick to it!
Click to expand...

if u need quick snacks from a convenience store try beef jerky very high in protein also nuts are ok to
 
Hi Becca, your story really inspires me. Sometimes "our eyes must do some raining if we are ever going to grow," so let those tears out and be proud of yourself for taking charge of your life. Congrats to you on your first week of approaching a new life plan. I have been exercising and dieting since the fourth of this month and every week I have sabotaged myself a bit. Having a support system really helps. Before I would feel like a loser for not sticking to my diet, but now I am learning to love myself more through my mistakes. I realize that it takes time to adjust to a new way of eating and we must learn from our mistakes. Love yourself through this process, and take it one day at a time and success will be yours.

Namaste
 
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