Cowgirl's fight

[Cowgirl]

I've been a member here since Dec 2007 and from then till now, I've had great successes and great failures. Today, I've finally decided to keep a journal and see how far that takes me in encouraging me to continue my journey.

A little bit about me: I'm 5'5, 26yrs old, currently 156.8lbs, 26BMI, can't stick to a healthier diet, and workout when I feel like it.

My goal from the start I feel has always been realistic. I would love to inch my way to my 130’s by summer time. Getting to my 140's already makes me feel lighter on my feet. I know my problem is that I don't dedicate more time in working out and eating right. I want to start this diary to keep me in check sort of speak.

My eating habits are pretty bad. I eat when I'm bored, unbalanced in emotions, or just because I crave it. I snack a few times a day and eat meals bigger than my appetite. When I eat, it's not always carrots or apples either and sometimes it's at ten o'clock a night. You'll find me with a bag of chips, soda and candy. YUMMY!! But I know what that does to me, yet I can't help myself. I mean, I'm educated enough to understand what I'm doing but I just don't have that will power. Thus, I suffer from being overweight and emotional damaged. I need more friends and hobbies.

I love being physical but it's hard when I don't have the motivation. At times, I start exercising for a few weeks straight, being good about it. But after awhile, it stops and I’m back to square one.

In the past, I’ve lost weight and maintained my weight loss at 145lbs and felt awesome. It was simple, I ate balanced meals and exercised. Kept myself busy, didn’t feel deprived and felt energetic. Where I go wrong is when I settle back into my old habits. Maybe I retreat to doing what I do for emotional closure or just to get that natural happy high you get when you fill yourself with sugars, fats, starches. I don't know, maybe I'm fooling myself.

Some main reasons why I want to lose the extra weight is because being overweight brings on more health problems and I want to be able to jog again without feeling like I’m going to die. I mean, trying to be healthier, more tone and fitter isn’t much to ask. It’s just the fight to get it will be the hardest if I can’t overcome the obstacles I create myself. Damn I’m a prick to this person I call me, f u self.

Another problem that has surfaced is the fact that I feel like I have to lie to people what I’ve eaten for that day. I also try to hide what I eat as if I never had it. This has been happening for a few months now and I don’t think it’s healthy. In fact, I’m tired of doing this to myself. It’s time for change. No more fooling myself and raping myself from a better life.

Change may not happen in a split second, but I need to slowly gather that what I’m doing is damaging and irrational. It’s time to wake up and feel the heat. Time to get back on track with exercising and eating correct portions.

Exercising: I love LOVE variety. You’ll see me outside walking/trying to jog, jump roping. You’ll see me at 24hr or at my friend’s apartment gym. I also have Comcast On-Demand where I have a ton of selections. Then there’s miscellaneous stuff I do at home and get tips from magazines and of course, from the WLF.

I personal know, I know how to get to my goal weight. The problem is I’m not dedicated and I lack motivation. Help me help myself.

Pictures to be posted when I get the camera fixed.

 

[Cowgirl]

Day one: don't slap me, but I had pizza and ice cream thus far. Most likely, I will have more pizza later as I have the whole thing to myself. Can't afford to throw it away on my hourly wage.

I did workout with Jillian Michael's and a couple other miscellaneous video clips from Comcast. Pat on the back.

 

[chouston]

Weight loss is hard!

In my experience, if you don't REALLY want it, you won't be able to dedicate yourself to eating right and exercising. I don't think we can motivate you. Have you listed the reasons you want to lose weight? Have you set specific goals and time frames?

Once you are motivated we can provide advice and support and congratulations when you reach your goal

 

[Cowgirl]

Chouston, I have listed some reasons why I want to lose weight. It may not be all of them, but enough to start my diary. If you keep reading or even read my post, you would have also read that I do have a goal weight and time frame.

Yes, losing weight is hard. I've been on this course since high school. And yes, I think WLF can provide motivation. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!!! I'm not new here and reading other threads have provided significant help and um.. motivation. I think it's how a person takes it in and uses it.

And you're right, if I don't want it enough, I'm going to go down the drain. I'll agree to that entry.

 

[ABBAgirl]

Best wishes on your journey! Get yourself an eating plan and commit to your regular exercising, and you are sure to succeed.

Cheers
ABBA

 

[Cowgirl]

Best wishes on your journey! Get yourself an eating plan and commit to your regular exercising, and you are sure to succeed.

Cheers
ABBA

Yeah, I need some serious butt kicking to get myself on the right road. I want to lose the weight, but then there are days where it's so hard!!! Thanks for the welcoming words... means much!

 

[Cowgirl]

Can't lie, must not lie.... mandatory to tell the truth about what I ate today.

Breakfast: nothing
Snack: trail mix I bought from the liquid store
Lunch: nacho's with jalapenos and cheese, a can of soda, water, a small chocolate from a box of chocolates
Dinner: A foot long Subway tuna sandwich with a bag of chips and raspberry ice tea and mint ice cream as dessert.

As I finished the first six inch sandwich, I felt satisfied and full. However, I couldn't stop..... I ate the other half but left a little piece.. still I consider that eating the whole foot long.

Exercise: my legs are sore from yesterday's leg workouts, but today I want to again do some miscellaneous clips from Comcast. I'll update that later after I'm done tonight.

UPDATE: So I've done a 45 minute tone and walk as well as an upper body 5 minute mini workout. I feel good especially after doing the walk & tone combo. However, I still feel bad about eating that stupid sandwich.. I still feel full.

I feel like a iggy: for eating the other half of the sandwich. I could have stopped, but I don't know what happened. As a starving college student, I'm not really starving am I?

Note to self: don't over do it. I could have saved the other half for lunch the next day. Although it would have been soggy and probably not as delicious, but so what, at least I would have something to eat and saved this "bad" feeling I feel now. Ugh!!!!!

 

[Cowgirl]

Yesterday could have been a better day, but I'm okay with having it being a rest day. Didn't exercise even though I put on my workout clothes and wanted to do something. I was a bit sore and honestly was too lazy to go to the gym. Plus, I was bored with my workouts at home. Instead, I ended up just eating all day.

Today, so far I've had two cucumbers smothered with salt and pepper. Yummy, but I think my tongue is going to fall off. Spicy! A nectarine and a cinnamon raisin bagel. I'll probably eat another fruit today but definitely dinner will be chicken curry over white rice.

As far today's exercise, so far:

24hr fitness - 40 minutes of walking and jogging on the treadmill
24hr fitness - 20 minutes of cycling
home fitness - 60 minutes walked/marched in front of tv while with 2lb hand weights doing miscellaneous exercises

 

[Cowgirl]

Today I woke up and wanted to go to the gym but was too lazy. Hmph. So, I then instead busted out some lite weights and a yoga mat. Stayed home and did multiple leg workouts and ab exercises.

Food intake can always be worked on, but I think I'm narrowing down my portion sizes. It's just that some days I'm good about not over eating and then there are those other days where I can't do anything by stuff my face. Sigh.