Joe19
New member
I started on my weight loss journey a little about 5 years ago. I was 400lbs when I started avoiding scales like the black plague. I was finishing up my Bachelors degree and working full time. That combined with a lifelong battle with depression and a volatile relationship with a meth addict, I was at the lowest point in my life.
After school I quit my job and that relationship ended. Then I decided to lose weight. Those first 50 or so pounds were so easy to shed. All I did was cut out fast food and start walking. I started walking around the block, then two blocks, then three and before I knew it I was walking three miles every day before work.
I stopped walking and started jogging, and my three mile walk turned into a three mile jog. Then I started alternating jogging and gym and I shredded the pounds fast. Within a year I was down to 220.
My life was going amazing, I had a decent job with a good potential of a promotion and I was getting more and more attention from the opposite sex.
Soon after that I entered into another relationship, which was the worst roller coaster ride of my life and I ended up loosing my job. Then when that relationship was over I was back up to 350lbs.
I got back on track, again (sigh) and stayed consistently around 300lbs. Things were going okay and I hit another hurdle. I got severely sick. Basically, long story short, you know those medications with "severe side effects"? Yeah I experienced that with an antibiotic. My whole body shut down. Heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure and my brain shut down. By the time that ordeal was over I was down to 230lbs and gained it all back soon after I transitioned back into the real world.
Now, with all of that, every time that I get depressed I immediately turn to food. And it's so easy to do and I do it without thinking about it. Whether it's potluck day at work or a harmless stop at jack in the box for an Oreo Cookie Shake after work. I always turn to food.
I don't ever do anything wrong, I live a good life, except my unpaid fix it ticket or the occasional joint. But I've never robbed anybody, never killed anybody, never put a crack pipe to my lips or anything like that.
Even though I've never done any drugs (hard ones) my food addiction is no different and just as deadly as a drug addiction.
This has been lighthearted so far but I'm terrified. If I loose my way again I think that I'm going to die. And I don't really see any help out there for me, I feel like I'm on my own. So I decided to start this diary. I don't need any more excuses. I just need to do it.
After school I quit my job and that relationship ended. Then I decided to lose weight. Those first 50 or so pounds were so easy to shed. All I did was cut out fast food and start walking. I started walking around the block, then two blocks, then three and before I knew it I was walking three miles every day before work.
I stopped walking and started jogging, and my three mile walk turned into a three mile jog. Then I started alternating jogging and gym and I shredded the pounds fast. Within a year I was down to 220.
My life was going amazing, I had a decent job with a good potential of a promotion and I was getting more and more attention from the opposite sex.
Soon after that I entered into another relationship, which was the worst roller coaster ride of my life and I ended up loosing my job. Then when that relationship was over I was back up to 350lbs.
I got back on track, again (sigh) and stayed consistently around 300lbs. Things were going okay and I hit another hurdle. I got severely sick. Basically, long story short, you know those medications with "severe side effects"? Yeah I experienced that with an antibiotic. My whole body shut down. Heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure and my brain shut down. By the time that ordeal was over I was down to 230lbs and gained it all back soon after I transitioned back into the real world.
Now, with all of that, every time that I get depressed I immediately turn to food. And it's so easy to do and I do it without thinking about it. Whether it's potluck day at work or a harmless stop at jack in the box for an Oreo Cookie Shake after work. I always turn to food.
I don't ever do anything wrong, I live a good life, except my unpaid fix it ticket or the occasional joint. But I've never robbed anybody, never killed anybody, never put a crack pipe to my lips or anything like that.
Even though I've never done any drugs (hard ones) my food addiction is no different and just as deadly as a drug addiction.
This has been lighthearted so far but I'm terrified. If I loose my way again I think that I'm going to die. And I don't really see any help out there for me, I feel like I'm on my own. So I decided to start this diary. I don't need any more excuses. I just need to do it.
with the above. Getting some qualified support would be the best idea & we can provide some moral support with the weight-loss. I saw a psychologist years ago when I lost a lot of weight, but still had the same issues with self-esteem. Cognitive therapy helped me a lot & I still draw on the advice I got back then. Depression sucks, but there are many ways to tackle it & eating healthy & exercising, especially outdoors, really helps a lot. Welcome to our little part of the world. It's a friendly & supportive place.
