Colleen's Weighty Musings

LuckyColleen

LuckyColleen

New member
Sorry for the pretentious title. I've been watching a lot of Masterpiece Theatre lately, lol.

Well alright it is Saturday night and I can't sleep so I thought I'd begin a diary. This is such an excellent idea for a site like this, and I like that folks write about their life beyond dieting as well. Makes everything so much more personal and "real." I warn ya'll, I am verbose, so anytime you feel your eyes starting to roll back in your head just visit again another day, lol. I'll try not to spiral too much into the wah, wah, wah, though it has been a difficult month indeed! Heck, a difficult three years!

But to start . . . my stats, goals, etc.

I am 44, female, 5'6" and 177 pounds. My highest weight has been about 188. That was pretty shocking as before last year I'd never passed the 165 mark. Next I'll answer the suggested initial questions:

-- How much weight do you want to lose? About 52 pounds. I am 177 now.

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? Nothing too specific. I’d like to be in my 130’s for my birthday in November, but that would mean losing pretty fast so I’m trying not to put too much pressure. My ultimate goal is 125, perhaps by the New Year?

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Lower calories, far less alcohol, walking and eventually jogging (again.)

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? This place seems ideal!

-- How realistic is your goal? I’m trying to keep it real by not setting a strict timeline.

-- When will you start? I already have.

I can't promise to be specific on my calories from day to day, but I'll try to be honest and thorough enough to give some idea of what I am eating day to day. Today I slept in, as I tend to be thoroughly worn out at the end of the week. I am an insomniac, plus I have very early days due to an hour and ten minute commute to work (70 miles one way.) So anyway, I woke early, lay in bed stressing about a few things, and finally fell back into an exhausted, neurotic doze. Woke again around 10am. There was absolutely nothing edible in the kitchen so I went shopping ($125 for me, single me, eeeesh!) and had a large salad around 4pm.

Yes, I know, way too late for the first meal, but if you read my intro you might remember I'm depressed over a break up and I don't tend to get hungry, just weak and peevish. So this salad had lots of good things and some bad things calorie wise (bacon bits, cheese, olives, croutons and I tend to overdo the Lite dressing.) But I didn't finish it, at least, so little guilt involved. I had the salad and some tea sweetened with Splenda. I'm pretty sure I came in at under 1200 cals. For right now I'm just trying to feed my body when the crisis alarm goes off. I could just as easily go the other extreme and binge, and I am determined NOT to do this. I'm trying to keep food as a very casual friend at this point. Not my saving grace, not my enemy. Does that make sense? Basically I'm trying to focus on other things, like healing this damn heartbreak.

I didn't do the treadmill today. Instead I wallowed in self pity, which probably burned 5.2 calories over all, lol. Tomorrow I have some marathon housecleaning to do. I just couldn't get motivated today. Ya'll please be gentle with me for awhile. I'm coming into this very shaken and sad, but I shall rally. Thanks for being here!

I'll close with this. Today I got a voice mail from the artistic director of this Equity Theatre I'm on the Board for. It's a small theatre and I know both founders well. He was inviting me to a company party tomorrow afternoon, although he said he knew I don't live in town (he's right, with commute costs no way I can drive back into town tomorrow, I'm barely making it as it is!) But he said something that struck me. He said, "I really hope you come, cause you, well you are just a party in motion!" I realized then what a front I put on. Intensely social, bouncy, flirtatious, engaged in people to the point I draw them out and make them comfortable. Just last month I was at a reception introducing my scruffy musician (ex) boyfriend as if he were Gordon Frickin' Lightfoot. I come across as so positive about the world, when in reality I'm feeling so downtrodden, so alone. But I never let it show, except to a very select few. I know a large part of my depression is the way I've let my body balloon up. I used to be SO vain about that. Oh, I'm always curvy, but never like this. Never with my skirt waists pinching and rolling, or looking 9 months gone in a baby doll dress! How did I let this happen?

Ah, geesh, not a good way to end. I'll be more chipper tomorrow. Fake it till ya make it right?

Best to all,

Colleen
 
Sounds like you have a good plan of action and you're of the right mind to make it work for you.

LuckyColleen said:
I'm feeling so downtrodden, so alone
Click to expand...

This place will help pick you back up a bit. This forum has seen me through more than my attempts at weight loss in the past. It can be whatever you make it really - plus you'll never feel alone here either!

LuckyColleen said:
Fake it till ya make it right?
Click to expand...

I like that! So true!

Good luck with everything Colleen :)
 
Thank you Stan! Yes, what I love about this site is there are so many people willing to share so much of themselves. It feels like a safe haven. I also love that there are enough diaries, articles and fun stuff to keep me reading for months before I can catch up. That has been a saving grace this week. Every time I start to feel blue, I get on here and read a diary, or see who has posted something new. It's just wonderful. Maybe one day my story can be an inspiration, too, as you are to me now.

More later. Sunday is my beauty day. For myself and the bedroom/bath, it seems. I've let the house go since my boyfriend hasn't been around for visits. Plus I am rarely home to clean anyway. Sigh. And let's face it, I does hates me some housecleaning!

I'll report my diet progress later today. I dread the scales, even though I've not binged or had alcohol in almost a week now.

Colleen
 
Still holding at 177 though I was down half a pound at some point, but then it fluctuated the rest of the day. I had my salad mid-afternoon. Couldn't finish it but I felt full and didn't get that nauseous feeling I've had for days. No treadmill. Still so depressed and listless. I should be asleep, but I'm feeling emotional.

I awoke to a short email from the Ex asking if he could call tonight. I knew it was a bad idea but of course I said yes. I knew it wasn't to be a reconciliatory call. Perhaps some night I'll have the courage to write about our break. Long sordid story. But not tonight. So we talked and it was very emotional. He blamed himself for a lot of what happened last week, and that my breakdown was due to his steady emotional starvation this last month. He is the king of detachment, my ex, and I reached my saturation point. Anyway he cried. I cried. He asked if we could hang up and let him call tomorrow, as we were both so emotional nothing was really being said anymore. There really isn't anything to say. He's incapable of loving anyone he says, since his divorce almost two years ago. But I know this is just another way of saying he can't love ME. And that rips my heart out. You'd think at my age I could handle heartbreak better, but it is just as acute as it was when I was 14.

And so I am gloom and doom, but I did not binge and I did not drink. My Ex Husband was by today to help me with a computer modem issue. We are still great friends, after seven years divorced. He said he was starting Atkins tomorrow. He's lost on it in the past and feels he needs to lose the weight for his health, and to feel better about himself. He weighs 260, smokes and works construction. Not a good combination. Anyway he told me that the only times he's ever met someone meaningful was when he felt good about himself. He met me when he had just lost down to 175. And he had lost down to 200 when he met Dee Dee, his current girlfriend. He told me that all it would take to up my attitude was to lose this weight, because he guaranteed I'd attract a better man, not just because I felt I looked good, but because I was proud I'd taken control. He's right. I know that.

And so I hold on for another day...
 
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Hi Colleen, your diary sounds like something I would write (with some of the emotions you're feeling), except you use better grammar and have a wider range of vocabulary than me... haha

Feeling down doesn't feel good (obviously). I don't know exactly how you feel but one thing I do is to try to stay positive. It sounds really cheesy but it helps, especially since I am.. well was, really pessimistic. I figure, "why get stressed?" it's not going to make things better. 3 months ago, I spent day by day just feeling sorry for myself, and I finally decided to do something about it. Sure, I still feel down sometimes, just not as much. Well.. I hope that helps a little.

I know you'll do fine though, your ex-husband is right though. Congrats on not binging or drinking alcohol for a week! Take care, i'll look foward to reading more from you soon!

V
 
Good morning.

Was too emotionally exhausted to write last night, but I stayed well within my calories and took a short walk to the library at lunch (only about 20 mins as it is 98 degrees here, whew.) I had yogurt in the morning, a medium sized salad with Kraft Free dressing, some cheese, croutons, bacon bits (my only bad things, but I didn’t cram it full.) When I got home I could feel a migraine coming on, from stress and lack of sleep so only ate a few saltines and a sugar free jello cup for supper. Not enough but I could only manage to be able to take some pain relievers without messing up my tummy.

Ex boyfriend did not call until almost 10:30, so by the end of that emotional call I was wracked with insomnia yet again. I lay with a cool washcloth on my eyes most of the night, slept maybe three hours, very fitfully. Wanted to call in today but realized when the alarm went off that I was not going to be able to sleep anyway. So I dragged myself to work.

I was invited to a party Sunday but did not go because it would have meant a 140 mile commute. I didn’t need the calories anyway. Plus they are all married or with someone and I didn’t want to be the only single one there. Then yesterday got a text from a former student (in fact he was in the first children’s play I directed after grad school, 1992, and he was the youngest cast member, too young actually but so darn cute I had to use him.) Wheeler is now a college grad with a technical theatre degree and working in NYC. He was in town for the week and asked if I wanted to come to the pub. I declined because they weren’t meeting until after 9pm, and I had planned to get some sleep. Plus I knew I’d drink and end up with smoky hair (ugh, my hair is long and holds smoky odors soooo bad.) I’m too blue to party anyway, with a buncha hopeful kids with their whole lives ahead of them, lol.

I must look sad or something. A co-worker came in my office yesterday, asked about the Ex, then told me she was going to start visualizing a real man for me, one who was worthy of me, and that I was an amazing person and my life was about to change in big ways because I deserved it. She is really into all that law of attraction stuff, or maybe it is white voo-doo, who knows, lol. At any rate she made me cry with her sweet concern and pep talk. Then a theatre friend, lady about my age, called to ask why I hadn’t been on MySpace and she spent a lot of time telling me things were going to be alright. Later she texted that she loved me. Then last night I had a beautiful email from my best friend (we met in kindergarten!) I’ll close with a portion of that email:

***
“Why don't people see good in you? Hell, I don't know, they're fucking blind! You are one of the most giving people that I know of. Who else makes little pumpkins for people for Halloween? Who else makes little valentine sacks? Who else remembers birthdays? YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU DO! You take the effort, you show the initiative, you follow through because you're so full of love for others! That's why you’re good, you have so much love in you. In our nastiest of fights, I still loved you because you're worthy of love not for what you do but for who you are. You do have a habit for picking up strays (ie. Bruce, Asshole, er, Randy), maybe it's love to a fault, that you want to help them be better people despite themselves, who knows? You are forgiving to a fault, your therapist has told you that, probably because of your childhood and it's something that you're going to have to be conscious of to keep from getting run over.

You are loved. You are very much loved. You will always be loved. You are deserving of love.

You shape people's lives with your presence, you have molded kids in your workshops to go on to bigger things, you inspire, you are a muse to creative thought, you are talented, you are responsible, you are reliable, you are brilliant, you are gifted, you are focused, you are creative, you are witty, you are stylish, you are delightful, you are genteel, you are poised, you are learned, you are Colleen.

Don’t let anyone else tell you different, not even yourself and this isn't a pep rally, it's the truth.”

***

I’ll write more later. Just want to say, once again, how thankful I am to have found this forum. I wish everyone here great passion in their lives, beautiful bodies, and peaceful souls.

Colleen
 
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Wow, and here I thought Im the only one who pretended on the outside, while inside it was eating me up.Your going to do great!, and who knows you better then someone all the way back from Kindergarden? So take her advise to heart! Heck, I dont even know you, and from just what I've read , she's probally right!

My 20 year High School Reunioun is coming up, and I was dwelling over the fact that I dont think anyone would even recognize me, as back then I as 6"3 190 and quite a bit different then the person I am now. but you know what, life is a pain in the ass sometimes and puts us through all kinds of trails and if you can keep a smile up, be yourself, and enjoy what you do in life then screw them if they have an issue with me... :)
ok so now back to reality where I freat about what they will say.. :)


Good luck!
 
Ah yes, Greg I just had my 25 year reunion last August and I was at least 40 pounds overweight. I tried to hide it, but ya know, only so much you can do.

Actually my kindergarten friend is a guy named Joseph. But he is gay so in a way he's my girlfriend, too, lol. We have been there for each other over the years. He's battling his weight, too, and the other day we were at lunch laughing until we cried over the horrible things people say, especially older people who have no tact, lol. One elderly neighbor told Joseph after losing a few pounds, "Well, you look like you can breathe better." Joseph thought, "What? Am I some rotund, wheezing hippo with an oxygen tube?" I told him about the time my co-worker said, "Your stomach doesn't stick out nearly as much." And I wanted to say, "Yes, I just gave birth under my desk" and offer her the squirming mass. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at the journey. Everyone changes as they age. Some have more discipline (hate them) and some just get the bad luck genes. Either way it's the hand we are dealt and we have to make the best of it ...or be miserable. I don't wanna be miserable anymore!

Thanks for the friend add! Talk soon!
 
Not much new for my Tuesday recap. Stayed within my calories – yogurt, salad, very light supper. I am fluctuating the same pound and a half, but I know that is just the shifts in water and sodium in my body. Thought I would have lost a pound by now, but that’s okay. I’m not exercising so until I do, I can’t expect miracles. I’m just proud I haven’t binged.

I bought some Vitamin D. Saw on Oprah that depression can be caused by a shortage of it, since we are now so afraid of the sun and many have a deficiency. I am certain I do. I was never a sun bunny to begin with (my skin does not handle it well) and now, with my long days I only get sun through a windshield. So maybe this will lift my spirits a little.

I’ve accepted the break with Randy. I still get very negative intrusive thoughts, but not anything like last year when we had our horrible break. I think a lot of it was coming back and seeing that he had actually regressed in his life in the 8 months we were apart. He still thinks he is going to live as a professional musician, but doesn’t understand you have to stop associating with drunks and addicts, get out of bed, work real hours to supplement and build your career, and stop smoking weed at least a few hours a day. It’s a concept I cannot understand. To want drugs and poverty over someone who loves you. I’ve worked in theatre for over 20 years and you don’t see me waiting around for Broadway to call. I’ve made a good living in the arts – in Alabama of all places! But it is because I’ve worked hard and sometimes I’ve done jobs I detested just so I could finance that next project. But with all my success it was never any fun without someone to share it with, to work with or just see my projects unfold. With Randy it is all music, music, music. I guess four ex wives and four kids he never sees should have told me something . . . (Yes, Joseph was right, I do pick up strays. I don’t think I have a bad boy syndrome, more a creative boy syndrome. Actors, artists, musicians . . . they slay me.)

But anyway my frame of mind is much better and improves every day. I won’t see Randy for a few months now. I have some of his clothes but there is no hurry as they are winter stuff. I need a lot of time away from that clown. He hurt me bad.

I hope the work day goes faster. Today I am going with two of the faculty to see a show two of our students wrote, directed and produced at an inner city high school. We are very proud of them. Then errands and back to this infernal desk. Ugh.

Later gaters!

Colleen

P.S. Thank you Crain for the well wishes! Good luck to you, too!
 
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Colleen,

I've heard about the vitamins thing and that other nutrients help to put you at a better state of mind. I'm no expert in that field, but I think it's interesting. I don't take them but i've been meaning to pick some up.

I'm glad your frame of mind is better. It all takes time but believe me you'll really notice those small changes as they happen.

And don't worry about exercising yet, do it when you're ready. I waited a month before I started exercising. Meanwhile, I just focused on eating healthier, and a few pounds came off.

Take care!

V
 
Wednesday/Thursday

I am just now getting a chance to hop on the ol’ diary and report in for yesterday, and I guess today, too, since I don’t plan much more to happen, lol. What a gripping life I do lead . . .

Yesterday stayed on same diet track. Quite sure I came in at 1200 or a little less calories. Did two ten to fifteen minute walks at work, mainly to keep awake as my insomnia has been a booger-bear lately. Today (Thursday) is my busy day, with people in my office most of the time, so I probably won’t get my short walk in. This is regrettable as I brought my shoes. Thursdays I allow myself my usual lunch at a great Mexican restaurant that my co-workers took me to my first day here. So tonight will be very light eating. I also like going on Thursdays because it’s the day off for one of the waiters there. This guy has suddenly decided (well suddenly as in three months ago, I’ve been putting him off that long) that he wants to date me. About three years ago I was dating one of the managers there, more friends than anything else, and he told me this guy had broken up with his girlfriend months before and was very depressed. And so I, being the tenderheart I am, made him a Valentine candy bag and left it anonymously on his table as we were leaving the restaurant. I didn’t have designs on him, really, although I was single, I just wanted to do something nice because I, too, was unattached on Valentine’s. Well Ramon (my friend) later told me that the guy knew who had given him the candy but he never acknowledged it, in fact he avoided me. I found this quite rude, but didn’t let it bother me really. I’m pretty used to guys in this town being uncultured and boorish.

So fast forward three frickin’ years, to this past April in fact, and I’m at the restaurant, actually crying in my margarita to a friend of Randy’s, lamenting our break, etc., and this waiter starts following me to the bathroom, coming on to me, saying he wanted to date me. We spoke briefly and I told him he could call but later I had second thoughts. I mean, I sort of feel like it was a one time offer kind of deal. I was nice, and for whatever reason I was rebuffed, so why now? Cause he is hard up? Dateless? Well, nuh-uh, I am nobody’s second string. Plus during that time I went back to Randy briefly. But even if I hadn’t, this guy blew it years ago.

But for three months now this guy has called. And he calls my job so I can’t screen the calls. Last month I told him I was just too busy and couldn’t date. Monday when he called I just lied and said I was busy and couldn’t talk. I need to just be rude I guess, but I’ve always had a problem with rejecting anyone outright. And so I avoid. I’m just not attracted to him. Never will be. There may have been a time when I would have dated him for something to do, but he doesn’t even hold enough interest in me for that.

Besides, I know who it is I am looking for. I have the image and the personality burned into my mind. I know one can’t choose a lover out of a catalog but I know the basic pre-requisites. They must be creative, love the arts, love films (and not just guy-films,) be responsible in their lives and job, and most importantly, have a sense of play and optimism that builds me up, not draws me into their depression (Randy was soooooo doomsday about everything.)

I have to be ready for him, though, and that is what I am doing now, day by day. Not just in losing weight, but working towards positive thoughts, anticipation, and the attraction of my ideals. Every hour brings me closer, and I’m so thankful for that.

Hey, maybe the ol’ depression is lifting!
 
Right on, i'm glad you know what you want! That was really nice about the Valentine's candy bag, unfortunately some people don't ever acknowledge the good things that are done for them.

The thing about the guy calling you must be terrible, I have trouble telling people off also. But sometimes being a little nice like that makes other people want to take advantage you because they see that. So they keep pestering you until you give them what they want, or until they get bored, or until you tell them to buzz off. I use to use the first one often, then I decided to wait it out until they got bored, and now I like use the third option often. haha Good luck with that though!

V
 
Edco76! Ro’Tide! Thanks for writing from Talladega! Zoooooom!

Yes, “V” I am the Queen of Conflict Avoidance. My problem is I am so nice to everyone, and the waiters at the restaurant and I have always had this fun flirtation, but I only dated one of them and we’ve remained good friends. This guy seems very vulnerable and sweet, if a little clueless, and I get the feeling he has really crap luck with women, but ya know, dat just ain’t my problem. Before I met Randy I dated around a lot, just for companionship, but inevitably I’d accept far less than I deserved and end up being woefully disappointed, insulted, etc. Randy was also the wrong choice but at least he tried to maintain a relationship for a period of time. Twice in fact, lol. I want a guy to make a little effort, geesh! I kept thinking if I put him off long enough he’d get the hint. I even asked Ramon to tell him, but no dice.

I can’t get my brain around dating right now anyway. I don’t need anymore outside eating events to distract me from my goal. I tend to equate socializing with food, and I need to reserve that for special occasions until I get closer to my goal. I don’t want to fall into the trap of hermiting myself just because I am trying to lose weight. But I need to be cognizant nonetheless.

Forty minutes and I can go home. Yay!
 
Hello Diary!

I’m in a mood where I don’t wanna work today. It’s so quiet here. Very few faculty around. I have a grant report to do, but I can’t get motivated. I’m glad I’m taking Monday off. It seems a waste to sit here and do nothing productive.

Tonight I have to work box office for a theatre company I’m on the board for. Then I’ll stay and watch the show, finally. I won’t get home until 11pm. So not sure about supper for me. Yogurt as usual for breaky. Lunch was carby. Subway 6-inch turkey with cheddar, Baked Lays and a Diet Coke. I’m way under on calories though. I ate very late, almost 2pm because I don’t know what I am doing for supper yet. I hate days like this when my schedule is so wonky. But after today I’ll have three weeks of regular, then a week from hell (first week of school, with evening orientations, auditions, etc.)

I’m in a really peaceful frame of mind. It took me months to get over Randy the last go round, but I’m so much more accepting this time. Perhaps it is because our last conversation was kind, and it’s important to me to end on good terms. I cried a little, and now I've put it behind me. I did my best, and I know my best is damn valuable. So I've just been visualizing the man worthy of me. Now I don't know how much ya’ll are into that whole Law of Attraction stuff. It's a bit new agey for me, but some of it makes sense.

Example: Something odd happened to me yesterday. I have spent the last couple weeks thinking about "the one" out there for me, "writing" to him, "talking" to him, visualizing us together by Christmas, all that. And there was this image of a guy that kept popping into my mind. I saw him last month when Randy and I went to see Reefer Madness at this little theatre I've worked with before. It is a small audience space and this guy, with his girlfriend/wife/whatever (they were holding hands) was behind us, but he passed us a few times as they went back and forth to their seats. He had long gray blonde hair, roundish glasses, and a very softly handsome face. I LOVE long hair on guys and cannot help but stare. So we made eye contact a few times, and as Randy and I were leaving he held the door for us and I thanked him. He and his girlfriend/whatever walked a few feet from us as we went to our cars. I can't explain it, something about him attracted me so much.

Then yesterday, after doing all this visualization stuff, I got my co-worker Joyce to drive me by the Mayor's Office to drop off this grant report I've had on my desk a week. I've put it off cause I didn't want to deal with parking. I go to the Mayor's MAYBE twice a year, and there was no rhyme nor reason to my going that day, it was just convenient. Well as I was crossing the street back to Joyce's van who should be getting out of the car behind her? THIS GUY! We passed each other at the back of the van and I smiled at him. He looked at me, but seemed a little preoccupied and I didn't look at him long, I was so overwhelmed and shocked. As I opened the van door I saw he had doubled back and was getting back on the sidewalk close to me, not to talk I don't think, but because he was confused which government building on the quad to go to. I had the perfect opportunity to talk to him, only . . .I don't know jack shit about those buildings. But if I had had a brain I would have said, "Hey weren't you at Reefer Madness with your girlfriend? You should come to our theatre sometime . . ." and do my spiel. That way, if he were ever single, he could look me up, if he had the gumption. But nooooo, dumb shy me. When I got in the van I told Joyce I thought I knew him and she said, "Well he was certainly checking you out!" But nah, I don't think he was. People look at me all the time, but don't mean it sexually. It's just my fire engine noggin, lol.

I just thought that was SO weird. Now I’m not about to go after nobody’s man. I am extremely vigilant of the Girl Code, lol. Even if he's not meant to be the one, I was visualizing that guy and presto! It just made me really think about the power of visualization, attraction, etc. Pretty thrilling.

Well, back to pretending to work, lol. Hope everyone’s Friday night is fun!

Colleen
 
That's pretty crazy about the guy! lol Colleen shy? I never would have guessed it. haha

I've heard about the law of attraction stuff, but I don't know much about it. But I think humans, possess some type of... uh.. "energy", that we can use but still don't completely understand. At least I think I do, I don't even know what I know anymore, you know? lol?

Enjoy your Friday night! I was invited to the movies but I think i'll pass on it for some much needed sleep. Take care!

V
 
Yeah, I know about that law of attraction. Its also that reason you meet somebody, regardless of gender, and its like you've known them all your life.

Cool that the guy showed up again. While he may not be the one you visualized, he could have been there to show YOU that you are an attractive woman. Or who knows? If he is the one... he'll show up at the right moment... when YOU are ready for him. And of course, providing he is worthy of you.

I know about those artist types... they get under your skin. Being as I am an artist type, I had a few too many crazy relationships with other artist types (musicians used to be my Achiles heel... the long hair & all), ended up marrying a Car Guy. He has his own creativity (the man is a wizard in the garage!), but he's a lot more stable than the other guys I've been with. I found him after I gave up looking... or maybe he found me?

Anyway, keep it up! You're doing great. Not just about the diet & exercise, but the frame of mind you are in that helps with the weight loss, at least I think so. :cheers2:
 
It's your psychic powers reaching out and making things happen. You visualize it and thne it happens. Humm.... Lets do a test, I want you to visualize it's next Wendesday night, around 10:0opm or so and you just saw the PowerLotto numbers announced on the screen. Now write those down and pm them to me.. :)

Oh, and btw while you may think that most guys are staring at you just because of your hair.. Well let's see, the hair, the eyes, the seductive grin... humm yea that dosent really do anything to a person.... :)

Hope your having a good weekend!


P.S. Reefer Madness! lol, I havent seen that in years!! I saw that back in college in SF at this little dingy hole in the wall thetere. Of course I was probally "In the Den" for real during that play so it made it even funnier.
 
Ha, so I was at the gym tonight and that James Blunt song "Your Beautiful" came on, and I just started cracking up. The words fit your "This GUY" experiance to a tee. I had this vision of you playing a guitar and singing the song with him in the background.

Just thought I'd share as it made me laugh out loud (And I think I scared the poor girl next to my at the time). LOL
 
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