.?~{Cheiri's Diary}~?.

Been doing GOOOODD!! Woooo. My feet hurt, I am covered in glitter, and my hair is as hard as a rock with all the hairspray after tonight's dance performance, but I had a lot of fun!
 
Not doing so well at all. I was up to losing almost 5 lbs, and then sudden;y gained it back again.

It's not meant to be.
 
Cheiri said:
Not doing so well at all. I was up to losing almost 5 lbs, and then sudden;y gained it back again.

It's not meant to be.
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Don't say that. It could be water weight that made you "gain" that weight back, you know?

I know that you've been up and down lately when it comes to your motivation, but don't say that it's not meant to be. I mean, I weighed nearly 300 lbs just a mere 12 weeks ago, but now I'm almost under 240 lbs. At first, I thought I would NEVER lose weight, but things changed. Just give it some time (everybody loses weight at a different pace) and I PROMISE that you'll get to where you want to be. If you're patient and keep working at it, you'll lose that "It's not meant to be" attitude before you even know it...I know you will.
 
So, I was kind of depressed earlier today. It didn't have anything to do with my weight/loss, I think I was just very lonely. I know I sound like a "melodramatic teen" so I'm not going to go into detail, but I don't make friends very easily & haven't hung out with even acquaintances in half a year, at the least. It just gets kind of lonely when you're stuck in your house all day, with the occasional family member. I have yet to work out today, but I know I will get it done once this food settles in my tummy. Working out doesn't really feel like a chore as of late.
 
Cheiri said:
It just gets kind of lonely when you're stuck in your house all day, with the occasional family member.
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I know how you feel. It's my choice to hang around here all day, but it does get really, really lonely, no matter how busy I keep myself. But, try going out more often. Personally, I don't "go out" all that often anymore either, but it's still good to get out of the house every once in a while and let off some steam - go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, share a few beers with friends, whatever. Just try and get out every so often and things won't feel so lonely anymore.

Also, try and remember that it could be even more lonely than it is right now. When I was in Chicago, I had NOBODY to hang out with or even talk to. When I wasn't at work, I was sitting in my apartment all by myself with nobody to talk to and nobody to even look at. It sucked baaaaalls. But, now that I'm back here in Cleveland, I have people that I can hang out with. I don't see them all the time or even every week, but it's definitely a huuuuuge help during my emotionally hard times.
 
Yeah, I'd do that if I wasn't so antisocial.

I actually think a lot of it has to do with low self confidence. :/ But hopefully that will change.
 
I binged like a mother today. :( Fuck. 2000 calories, and that's rounding down. I even worked out for a while today and was goign fine up until that last little, what, aew minute where I consumed a piece of pizza, cream soda, and a rice crispie treat... afre my dinner. :( Why do I do these things? Really? Why?!
 
Still sore from yesterday. Got less than an hour sleep last night. Tries to workout today.



Fail.
 
Cheiri said:
I binged like a mother today. :( Fuck. 2000 calories, and that's rounding down. I even worked out for a while today and was goign fine up until that last little, what, aew minute where I consumed a piece of pizza, cream soda, and a rice crispie treat... afre my dinner. :( Why do I do these things? Really? Why?!
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I don't know if this helps or not... but I was going through the same question in my mind a couple of weeks ago, and this is the conclusion I've come to;​

I just figured out my reason to the question I'd asked out loud about knowing I have an injury & just staying on track, I was worried that without the runs that I would gain even with eating properly, so I self-sabotaged to what?, prove a point to myself that I would? Still working that out in my mind.

It's so hard because we're fighting our minds, daily, every breath we take, we're fighting our old behavioral patterns, pushing the limits, pushing our comfort zones daily, every minute, and it's tiring. We're all doing the very best we can.

Try not to beat up on yourself too harshly.

This might sound silly, but have you ever tried writing out every achievement/accomplishment no matter what size? After the P.O.ed-ness starts to taper off & you can look back at what you've hit on the head, IDK it's sort of rewarding. :)

TTYL ​
 
Aww, you're so incredibly sweet. You know, I think you're right. And the writing down stuff is a good idea, but I hardly accomplish anything, haha.


Blehhh. I just feel "bleh".
 
I bet you have and you just don't know it:

For Example:​

When you were little how long did it take you to tie your shoes?

Or learn to read time?

Or Finish Each Grade you've ever been in?

Or not be such a flake like most ppl your age? ;) :p

You look after your brother's once in awhile, I bet you know how to change a diaper? haha than....I bet you STILL know how to..

You know how to be responsible - see achievement, and whatever if a partial amount of the world knows this too, but MOST don't :p

What Can You Cook? & How Long did it take you to do it?

AAAAnnnd Your Photography??? If you never started taking your own mini photography shoots, you'd never learn anything about doing anything better or learn what you were able to achieve ect ect

I don't know very much about you, but I BET I could pick out some more of your achievements.....I bet I bet...:p

What about that Super woman costume that you were into....oh dear was that YOU?​

Anyways,

Laterz
 
Heyy x

i just read all your posts Lol :).
wow, im new on this, and i just wanted to say...
ermm.. thats so KOOL, that you come on here everyday?
and write everything that happens, cuz i can relate to it lol.
im guessing it hard to loose pounds.. ¬¬
i go on the wii fit, but its not enough,
i got like a twin sister and she's 8 stone!
im 9 ¬¬ and i want to beat her KMT!
anyways have you been exercising at all today?

x
 
Awww, RunningGirl... you're so sweet. I guess you're right. And hahaha, it was hte Harley costume, not super woman -- though I am still into it! If I had lose something I would be sewing up a storm right now.

Wow, Yazzzz, you read them all! You're a trooper! Sorry I'm not more interesting. xD I don't have the wii fit, is it any good?

You have a twin? That's pretty cool. I wish I had a sister, or someone close the my age like that.

I would love it if we could chat regularly! I could help you and you could help me, that sort of thing. What are your goals? Where are you now? :D you sound like an awesome person!
 
hey sweetie! long time no read, I have to come back more often!


aw I am sorry you are going through some rough stuff. we all have those episodes in which we feel down and that what we do is meaningless, but it never is. you are doing great! and binging, well tough habit to break especially for us emotional bingers. but it is possible, it takes a while.
and remember how we have the same ammount of weight to lose? I am still not losing any but I am feeling better with exercise and eating less sweets!
xoxo and take care
 
It's so nice to talk to you again! Aww, you aren't having much luck in the losing department, either, as of late? Well, if you want I can give you my AIM or skype or something or even just PM on this site, and push each other along. I think I could really help - it just so happens that I can't help myself, hehe.


Well, yesterday was shit, but I kept telling myself over and over that "Tomorrow is a new day". I already had a piece of pizza (damn, we have noooo food, we need to go to the store) today, but I'm not going to let that get me down because it was just one piece and I'm not even hungry yet. I'm really gonna get down on not eating when I'm not hungry; sometimes I eat because I want to, or because someone else is eating, or because "it's time" to eat (like dinnertime, etc). But anyways, still on my period, unfortunately, and I kinda want to use that as an excuse not the exercise... today has already begun and I hate exercising in the middle of the day... and ugh, I just don't feel like it, which I know is my biggest downfall.

I need to get addicted to exercise >=(

I go to the doctor's for a physical in a month, where she's gonna weigh me, so I'd at least like to lose a few pounds because last year I weighed at 145.5 and I don't want to gain any. Ughhh, I hate doctors. They freak me out. Really badly.


It's weird, I have this constant battle of "I NEED to exercise" and "I don't WANT to exercise" in my head, and it's strange to sort of argue it out...
 
aww that'd be nice. skype is cool! PM too,

yeah I am a slow loser. haha my metabolism is quite slow, compared to a boa.. but hey at least I am exercising and feeling better. yes that used to be the hardest part for me, I didn't like exercise at ALL but the endorphines kick in sooner or later and you make a habit out of it! I promise. I feel bad if I miss a day

keep it up! 30 lbs is not that much. I know sometimes they do feel like a ton, but they aren't and it is very possible
xoxo!
 
My skype is "littleharls" :) Message me sometime!

It does seem like a lot, even though I know it's doable because people lose weight all the time! I know we can do it; it's just a matter of time.

---

I did okay today, may have splurged at dinner a bit because I was so hungry :p I was walking all day long, though. My feet hurt. I got two new pairs of shoes - for a todal of 19 dollars :D Woooo, sales!
 
Mmm... today was good. I kept myself busy... mostly baking. And.... finally got some exercise and stayed in my calorie range! I'm really proud.
 
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