Hi everyone, I'm back. Well, third time's the charm. I've started a new summer semester at school, and for the past two days, I've been eating healthy (my only weak point because dinner, where I eat the most, and I'm working on that).
I've just printed out a contract and a table (where I'm going to keep track of what I eat).
The hardest struggle for me in my failed attempts is avoiding eating something when I see it. I was in the kitchen today and saw cookies, and I had one. Then I saw poptarts, I had one of those too. No matter how many times I've told my parents to stop buying junk food, they don't, because my little sister demands it. If they can't practice a healthy lifestyle, it is up to me to resist temptation.
I'm really serious about it this time, and I can't make any excuses for myself. Even if I fail or make mistakes, I have to go on. I've gone on for years with low self-esteem, hating going to parties, taking pictures, because I was overweight. In the past year, I've gained almost 10 points (since starting university), and feel worse because weight is really stressed among my friends (as in, my thinner friends consider themselves fat, and this makes me even less confident about myself).
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SUMMARY OF MY CONTRACT:
I recognize that I am overweight, and have put on excess pounds over 11 years of eating. I am at the heaviest weight I've ever been, at almost 175 pounds. I want to reach a stable weight of 125-135 pounds, and am aiming for about 135 before Christmas. I want to lose weight to look better and feel better. I have tried and failed at many short-lived diets before, but this time, I vow to reach my goal, and then work towards maintaining a stable weight. My reasons for failure and overeating have included psychological hunger, bored, and eating while watching TGV.
(I've created a small list of guidelines to follow in my printed out contract)
I realize that this contract is solely with myself and that it carries no rewards, penalties or punishments other than those associated with the reflection of the strength of my character.*
I will do my best.
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* that last bit was taken off a contract written by Bob Green on Oprah.com
In this online diary, I don't think I'll write down every single detail of how much I ate, how much I exercised. I'll leave that for my printed out table. However, I will definitely comment on disappointments, failures, successes of each day.
I have about 40 pounds to lose before Christmas, and another 10 before my ideal weight. Wish me luck guys.. for the third and final time. It's no longer an attempt, this time it's for real.