Changing the Way I Feel and Eat!!!

jasper1

jasper1

New member
Hi!

I am 1,70cm tall and weigh 79,5 kg.I have been on a better way of eating from May this year and have managed to loose 16kg.My target weight is to be 65kg.I am planing of keeping this diary as "clean" as possible , make my "bad"days fewer than my "good" days,exercising 4-5 times a week ,updating everyday,try to calorie count as much as i can and take pics of my everyday food.

I have 15kg to loose and its not the "first"fat that is coming off so its not going to be so easy i think,but i WILL reach my goal , cause i know all you guys are going to be here for me.

I want slaps and tell off's please whenever you think its needed!!!

So Tommorow i will start!Wish me good willpower cause it absolutely got nothing to do with luck!!!
 
Breakfast : Coffee =70 cals

Snack : Half a slice of bread with half slice cheese and little butter = 125 calories

Lunch : Plate of fresh green beans in tomatoe sause and potatoe , 60 gr.feta cheese , 1 slice of bread.

Snack : Coffee = 70 cals

Dinner : Plate of chicken soup


Exercise NONE


??!!!!Missed you so much today, i was so busy i didnt have time to log in at all.

I had accepted to help the old lady neighbour , with her house cleaning today,and i was there from 10am to 1pm.3 hours cleaning!Up and down laders!I accepted cause i felt sorry for her, she cant do much.

So after that i left quick to go get Mario from school,straight to the doctors office for his monthly shot,then we came home and we had promised him a trip to the luna park , so off we went again!We came home at 9pm.I cleaned the house it was so untidy,ate my soup and gave Mario and myself a bath!

My legs are SO painfull from that 1 hour on the air walker last night,i didnt think i would make it through the day!So i didnt want to do ANY exercise tonight,i think i had some with the cleaning and running around all day!


I am surrounded by little chocolate tarts , a chocolate strawberry piece of cake, a couple of chocolate croissants!But i have been real good today nothing bad in my system!
 
AOkay, so you decided to have a "fresh start". :) But I think you should still keep the start weight showing down there, so people can see how far you've gone already wtih your weightloss.

But anyway, I was wondering that you eat very little?? You have to make sure you wont eat too little, cos it can slow the weightloss as well. Remember to eat at LEAST 1300 calories IF you are not workin out during the day.
 
Hey Jess, welcome to your NEW diary!! Clean start! Don't cut down on the cals too much - you don't want to over do it! Remember slow and steady keeps it off! If you are tempted by something - have it, as a one off, small portion and don't make it a regular occurence. These are lifestyle changes for good and its not like you are never ever going to eat chocolate cake again - that's just unrealistic and I think part of the problem is we set ourselves unreaslistic expectations and then feel crap when we mess up. My philosophy is that I can have 300 cals of treat if I really really want to - its all about choices. I can't chose to do that every day or very often but it is a choice. I have to understand the consquences, think through teh choice and make space for it in my calories allowance by not having somethign else.
 
Something terrible happened yesterday,but all is ok now.

I went next door to hepl finish the old ladies dusting and hanging curtains and i took mario with ,cause i didnt want him to stay wiht dad cause he would sleep and it was 6 pm, so he would sleep again after 1 am...anyway, i was hanging the curtains and i heard him making a sound like he had eaten something and was trying to clean his throat.

I got down that ladder so damn fast ran to the lounge and asked if he was ok.I dont know WHY i ran ,maybe it was instinct , cause he has a little cough anyway,but i payed attention this time.

I looked around and on the table the woman had left a plastic bowl with pills in,I asked him if he ate any and he said yes.I asked him many times and he said yes and was showing me the pink ones that where for lowering blood presure.|I called the poisining emergency and they said to take him to hospital imediatly.

We went and he was sleepy in the car i didnt know if it was of him waking up at 8 am and the time then was 8pm or if it was from the medicine he might of took.

I started shouting at him wake up hystericsal and my husbang yelled at me.I run in they took him in first and i just broke down.I couldnt explain what had happened cause i was "chocking" from crying.My baby was crying too , cause of the people in white (Doctors)

They said he must have his stomach pumped and kept in for the night.It was terrible i felt so guilty , i should had checked the place before letting him play alone,it IS an OLD lady that lives there so OF COURSE there is medicine around.I felt guilty cause I WASNT SURE he had taken anything and maybe he was going to suffer now for no reason....I nearly left...but i thought is it better for him to sufer for a night or let him go home and maybe not ever waking up.It was awful.My little angel didnt cry while they did that to his stomach,only when they took blood.

He didnt sleep well cause there where other babys crying and nurses in and out.We left this afternoon and came home , he is fine.They still dont know if he took anything , but all his tests came out fine.

I will come back tonight with todays food

Here is yesterdays


Breakfast Coffee 100cals , tiny bread with turkey ready made 160 cals

Lunch 200gr cooked spaggeti with 1 spoon sause and little cheese , salad of boiled zucchinis.`800 cals

Snack Cereal bar and a bowl of mousse 70 + 150 =220 cals

Very late hospital food Sandwich with cheese and ham and mayo 500cals coffee 70 cals

Total 1850
 
Aww sweetheart so sorry to hear this - terrible terrible experience. At least there's no lasting damage and you did what any parent should do - get him to the emergency room asap and even if he hadn't taken anything, as you couldn't be sure, having his stomach pumped was absolutely the right thing to do. Don't beat yourself up about it - as a parent you can't "SEE" every danger and sometimes things do just happen. You can only do your best and the most important thing is that he's fine.
 
I agree with Jay. So sorry you had to experience that, but I'm so glad that it wasn't any worse! You did a great job as a mother with acting quickly and bringing him to the hospital.
 
AI know how you feel- my son drunk loads of his epilepsy medication, and I was in a complete mess . I don't know how on earth he managed to get the safety lid off.

Glad everything's okay, you did the right thing hun xxxxxHugsxxxxxx
 
AHeya hun

I finally figured that you had started a totally new diary. So here i am :)

Sorry to hear you went thru that with Mario. I did the same when i was about 2, I don't remember it, obviously, but it really freaked my mum out. Oh and i aparantly ate poisous mushrooms when i was about 6 too. Whoops lol. Luckly Jack never did it but it is really common, It's just what kids do. Hopefully it will make him understand not to do it again.

Anyway, how is everything with you sweetie?
 
YESTERDAYS FOOD


Breakfast Coffee 100 cals

Lunch Ice tea peach flavour 100 cals

Snack Coffee 70 cals

Dinner 2 stuffed toasts with cheese and ham 800 cals


Total 1070



TODAYS FOOD


Breakfast Coffee 70 cals

Lunch 3 egg omellette with veggies cooked with one spoon olive oil and 2 small light cheese 530 cals

Snack Coffee 70 cals a few bites of a slice of bread with chocolate spead 100 cals

Dinner Small piece of cheese cake glass of juice 350 cals

Snack Cereal bar 70 cals


Total 1190







Thank you very much guys!Marios is fine,thank god.

I clenaed out his room from little broken wheels and cheap cars that he can take the wheels off,all small thinks went in the rubbish.I checked my draws to make sure there was nothing in that i didnt see before as DANGER , i put the clothes soften i kept low somewhere high , i am not fiinished though,tommorow i will check again the bathroom cupboard and the low kitchen ones too.

I really got a fright.I saw so many mothers in that hospital , sleepless, with puffy eyes next to their children and it really touched me.What can happen in a minute......Ill stop now dont want to think of it anymore.


I decided on a new diary mostly because the way i was posting was really confusing.I was trying to find food i had eaten months ago and it was all mixed up.Mostly for that,it was on my mind for some time now.Then its also me screwing up way to many times.Felt like a "new" diary would be like a new start.It really all in my head i know!Then i felt for some time now that me loosing sixteen kg is making me slow down and be more relaxed,when i really should.Seeing 0 kg lost really makes a difference.I will fill in the kg already lost though for people to see)

I am not forgeting my "diet past"!!!!but i do want a little fresh start,plus i am always going to write my food first like Katie does and then all the rest.Its easier for me when i look back.


These past few days have been real bad for me and i really was so worried about my baby that i wasnt really thinking DIET,still i have managed to not overeat.Yesterday night i had two grilled sandwiches without second thought cause i hadnt had anythin to eat all day , cause i was at the hospital till late afternoon.

Its my time of the month as well so im not going to weigh in tommorow.Yes i will try again to weigh myself every Friday.So it will be another week till i get on those scales i hope ill be down to 78.!
 
AAwe hun...your poor little Mario....I am so glad he is ok....and you too....you didn't do anything wrong it was an accident...he is a very loved little boy and he is lucky to have you!! hugs to you and him!!

I am glad you are keeping at it...whether it be on this diary or your old one...whatever it takes for you to succeed!! :)
 
Breakfast 3 coffees 210 cals-cereal bar 69cals =280 cals

Lunch 3 small candys 70 cals - 3 lay's chips 32 cals=102 cals

Dinner Meatballs with rice-No idea about cals


Total 382 cals without the dinner.So i think even if the dinner was 1000 cals i am still good!!!!

















Hey!!!!Thanks again for your supportive words guys!it means so much for me!!!:grouphug:

We got our carpets delivered today clean and fresh!so i did a lot of housework today , so the house could really be clean and nice!

I am planning on doing my exersice tonight as i promised a 4-5 times a week workout.This week i only worked out on Monday.So until Sunday i dont get a day off!!!!OMG the airwalker!Its going to kill my legs!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting many compliments that i look great, even when i was in old houseclothes , my sister commented so did my mum today when i took mario to school!He is fine by the way!


Something totally out of the blue to say.When my child was in hospital i went to the cantin to get coffee and the hospital had a little church.As i was smoking before entering the hospital again it made me think of god ect.I found myself saying in my head "God please let him be well and i will visit the church to pray" ,"no i wont forget about it i dont even belive in you" then a part of my was scared for saying that cause if he does exists then maybe he would punish me throu my child,then i got really upset about it all and left.I was wondering finally is there a god?Does he look out for us?is there something bigger than humans?and finally if t1here is a God what would he think about me?I would like to BELIVE and PRAY.I belive only in Good and Bad as forces of nature not what my religion says.I sometimes miss the time that i had FAITH in him.I miss the feeling of HOPE i had in him.Maybe i could find that kind of hope in something one day again.It feels bitter inside when you dont have faith....Oh sorry about that,its on my mind that conversation i had with myself in a time of crisis.


Its 9 pm now so i really will try not to eat anything else.As i said i want i clean diary dont want to have to log on again and edit this p`ost!!!!Well only for filling in the exersice i had!!!!



Editing for my workout.I just finished ans its 1 am....

i only managed 60 minutes on airwalker but no pain in my calves today,its my upper thighs that hurt a little.burnt 500 cals.

I burn 500 cals with 42minutes on bike...i dont have the courage for amy more exercise now its really late.Ill try to do both tommorow plus my arm weights.Its been so long....
 
ooo am i getting really mad.........my father is insisting on telling me how to cook or mostly he is cooking the food himself these days ...i cant say...he is a fantastic cook..for someone NOT on a diet...I was making spaggetti sause days ago he came opened the lid and purred so much olive oil in , when i just put a spoon of it.Today he is making meat in the pot with zucchini and eggpland AND POTATOE......He has FRIED EVERYTIHNG first.The meat and ALL the veggies...And the eggplans are like sponges to oil...i am really upset.I think i am NOT going to eat so maybe he will get the picture.But then what am i going to eat????i only have some boiled chicken breast.Maybe that with a little rice and a salad?

He has cooked the past week,all really tasty but SO damn fattening .even my lentile soup he added so much olive oil.....I think iu am just not going to eat to see if he gets it,i dont know how long he is staying so i cant eat his food.I will gain weight.or ill just have to have a tinny bit and starve the rest of the day.Im off to make my chicken rice....


Well chicken breast with pepers in oil paper baken in the oven with a little mustard.Im going to put it in the oven in a while.


Need some hepl.

Lets say i need 2400 cals to maintain my current weight.1 kg is 7000 cals.So to loose 1 kg in 7 days is this right?

2400 cals x 7 days = 16,800 cals a week to MAINTANE

16,800 - 7000 cals (a kilo) = 9,800 cals a week to loose a kg.

9,800 divided by 7 days = 1400 per day to loose a kg a week.


Now thw 2400 cals to maintain is WITH exercise right?

So if i work out 3 times a week (that gives me the 2400 cals to maintain) i can eat 1400 per day to loose a kilo.RIGHT>???please say!


Could i play around with the cals ? lets say if i need 9,800 per week could i have

Day1 1600

Day 2 1200

Day 3 1400

Day 4 1300

Day 5 1300

Day 6 1400

Day 7 1600

Total 9,800 cals.
 
AOh god, that isn't good. Olive oil is like 120 calories per TABLESPOON! Crazy calories. And to me its just a wate... If I'm going to have 400 extra calories, I want to spend them on chocolate of something. Can't you tell your Dad that you don't mind him cooking, but can he cook healthier stuff? I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I hope. Or maybe you could say to him to cook unhealthy things twice a week maximum or something?

Those calories numbers seem to work out alright :D
 
Breakfast 2 Coffees 140 cals , one mini toast with 11 gr.chocolate spread 95 cals

Lunch Chicken breast (half of a whole one) with pepers and onion baked NO OIL , little tomatoe cucumber salad , 2teaspoon mustard 464 cals

Dinner Homemade pudding low fat but 437 cals

Snack A baby choc croiassant 120 cals cereal bar 69 cals



TOTAL 1325




Well as you can figure i had a real urge for sweet stuff today,so i had but still in my calore range.I didnt know how much my lunch was , just worked it out and its really good i see.

i still want to eat stuff eventhough i am not hungry.I will have a carrot later on too.

I have a headach from this morning just took my 3rd painkiller.It goes away and then come s back,think its cause of my period.Plus i have a real bad pain in my back,sideways actually near my waist.I woke up like that but it has gotten worse as the day has passed.I think its cause i carried hte airwalker last night when i was done.I tryied to put it against the wall and it is really heavy.I sneeze and it kills me.


Rainbow even when i tell him to cook healthier he isnt going to do it.I can imagine him saying "this is the way the food is tasty,any other way it not eatable."

I took a photo of the food he mad just to let you see what i mean about OIL.But i just saw that my camre is dead,i left near by the sink and it full of water .......................................

the memory card doesnt fit in the pc.I ;ll have to buy that little thing you put the memory card in and put in the computer
 
AOH NO......You have killed your camera That sounds like something i would manage.

You're doing so so well not eating the nasty, evil stuff your father is cooking. So so pround of you, it must be so hard. WELL DONE YOU!!!!!!

You definatly seem back on track with your new diary. :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Good for you sweetie.
 
Breakfast 2 coffees 140 cals

Lunch Boiled egg,half tomatoe,2 mini toasts , 1 light cheese 180cals

Snack Coffee 70 cals

Dinner 2 hot dogs a bit of tomatoe salad 1000 cals


TOTAL 1390










It isnt so hard mostly cause im so mad at him it feels good not to eat his food...!!!:reddevil:

I found out other camera but its also ready to die hope not to soon!

I didnt eat a proper lunch cause i knew we where going to my sister's today.

My back is killing me,i had a profesional mini course massage today from a lady i know but i felt a bit better for about an hour.Specially now that its late (1 am) it is killing me.I just took a pain killer and rubbed myself with a special cream.


While getting dressed to go to my sister i put my clothes on and they where so loose i had to put a belt on.My top that was so tight last year was loose around my hips and belly, but i didnt feel nice , i felt tatty looking (hope i got the spelling right!)I need new clothes.I put some make up on but still i didnt feel nice.I feel worn out,old,ugly,i feel like i must change my clothes and not wear leggings and denim mini skirts as i did a few years ago,think i look old and horrible.Maybe i should get my hair done cause my roots are showing...I dont know what s wrong i feel like i am a 30 year old mum.Nothing sexy or womanly.....I went yesterday with my son to the dvd store by foot and walked passed these cafes FULL of 20 something people and felt so old...Felt like this was me a couple of years ago not look at how i have become..Probably will pass...hope so...I just want to feel pretty.


Here is the photo of the OILY FOOD my fathe made.THat stuff you can see shinning is really olive oil@!!!!!
 
AEEeewwww that does look really oily!!!!! Glad you're managing to keep away from it.

I know what you mean about looking 'tatty'. I have that problem too. A lot of my clothes look awful cos they are stupidly big, especially all my jeans. I don't want to buy new clothes yet cos i don't want to stay this size so i am gonna have to look stupid for a while yet :)
 
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