I think we all get a bit greedy, its like when will this be over already!
!52.6lbs today so 3lbs and ill breath a sigh of relief and may celebrate with a diet coke lol. So long drinking water i forget what anything with a bit of fizz is. I was out at a party last night drinking my water, i dont drink alcohol anyway so drink water now every weekend and not diet sodas. Well i was sickened. Guys before that wouldnt look twice at me were falling all over me. A few of my exs were there and it was good to see their jaws drop but they were as nice as they always were, never once mentioned my weight to me and always remained friends but hadnt seen me in about a month. Best part of all is the guy i am seeing started chasing me when i was heavy and he is gorgeous so i am glad i met him when i was heavy! |Got a bit stressed last night. I saw an ex yesterday that was with for many years and he was crying his eyes out to come back to him, hes been going on about this now with two months but he treated me horrible and in fairness yes he has turned his life around the last month but i dont want to go back because i got so hurt physically and emotionally that it just doesnt interest me and i dont feel like i did about him and the guy i am with now i really do adore and he is everything i ever wanted in a guy. So when the ex begged and cried i couldnt even get upset and he said i had changed, gotten hard. I told him i had no choice. He held onto my legs and pleaded for me not to leave. I stepped over him and said im sorry goodbye.
Thats all fine....but last night he sent me a text saying he was going to make the pain end. Well this is what he said "im going to make this feeling go away mysef pet, our spot at the river seems awful lonely without you, christ im crushed, i love you more than anything on this earth and i cant live with losing you. You were the best thing that ever happened me and im so sorry for how i treated you. Bye pet and this is my last text to anybody gbye pet"
Now when i got this i replied, COP ON! but it didnt deliver so the phone was off straight after the text. I worried all night. The text delivered this morning. I phoned him and ate his head off for doing that to me. That it was torture to do that to anybody and how dare he. He said i never said i was going to kill myself, you know i wouldnt do that, i was just out for a walk, im just hurt. I told him to do what he likes but i never want to hear from him again after this and hung up.
thing is i am mad with worry that i have pushed him over edge leaving and he would do something stupid. Before i would turn to food but i didnt even think of food after that. I turning point with my relationship with food also.
Sorry for ranting about nothing to do with weight loss but just to get it o9ut of my system makes me sigh with relief.