Breezyy's First Diary!

Breezyy

Breezyy

New member
Breezyy's Diary and the attempt for the last 45 lbs!

So its February 1st and the month is not starting off all that great! Mentally February is a bad month for me, for the last 2 years something tragic has happened to affect my life during this month. So maybe I'm a little nervous, not to mention I hate Valentines Day! Going to have to do alot of journaling this month and stick with my plans and get through the month.

Today I weighed 193, up 2-3lbs because of the female thing we deal with every month. That's ok I understand it and I'm not discouraged by the weight gain I saw this morning. I went to the Dr a few days ago for my general check up. I like to have my dr's opinions and advice on my weight loss :) Got some lab results today and my potassium, B vitamins and folic acid levels are all way down.. I thought I was eating enough fruit.. I guess not? He only suggested drinking a glass of orange juice everyday but I already do that! I have an orange tree so I love fresh orange juice!

Somehow managed to strain my back at the gym last week so exercise has been very very low. Its feeling better today had a cortizone shot a few days ago and it seems to be helping. Going to give it through the weekend before I hit the gym again full time.

So!!! What a start of February.. I do have a question any one have suggestions on the potassium, B vitamins, folic acid? I already take a multi vitamin everyday. I eat fruit pretty regulary.. what else can I do to increase it?

Calories eaten so far today: 1154 (not enough so plan on having an evening snack)
 
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Friday night.. I'm bored! Today wasn't a bad day. Back is feeling better so I did a little bit more at the gym tonight. Only 30 mins of cardio I think Monday I'll be ok to go for the 45 mins again and maybe only a few days of weight training. I'm anxious to get back to the gym full time but don't want to strain my back even more.

Food today was minimal. I had just under 1200 calories and its 11PM already so its a little late to get much more in, but I think I'll have some orange juice which should also help with the vitamins I'm lacking. I took my journal to fit-day to see if that would help me up calories, seems better then my old way of writing it down and forgetting how many calories it was! I'm struggling right now with getting enough calories and I know I have to increase or I'm only loosing muscle. I think over time I've gotten lazy and my meal planning is slacking. So tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping and going back to the basics of planning my meals out for the week. Ive started to get complacent ! Thats how I got to 300lbs in the first place! So luckily I'm noticing it right away. No weight gain other then the "bloating" avoiding the scale for a few more days till thats over :)

Time for some OJ then I'm going to do some stretching before bed.
 
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Wow! You are doing great! You're in one-derland and only on your second diary post! You make it look EASY :p

I think it's great that you have lost so much weight, over a hundred pound! I have to do the same thing, can you describe some of the differences you feel in yourself? What was the straw that broke the camel's back, making you decide to get healthy?
 
How I felt at 300lbs

Hi Qjay, I wouldn't say I'm in wonderland haha struggling a bit with food but I have learned to recognize the problems now before they get out of hand :) Good questions you ask! I am a very firm believer that in order for us to succeed at this weight loss journey we do have to look within ourselves, its not always physical. Most of us are overweight because of emotions and feelings some we realize and some we don't. Through this journey many people of asked me "How are you doing it" my answer is.. It's a mental thing I have changed therefore physically I have changed.

Lets see.. this might take a bit :) I'll start with how I use to feel.

How I felt at 300 lbs :confused:

Short of Breath, Unhealthy, Took alot of pills for asthma&allergies

Sickly (hospitalized 2x for pneomonia and asthma in less than 2 years)

Lazy, Depressed, Sad, Unhappy, Unloved , Insecure

No desire to even leave the house and socialize.I lost most of my friends due to my "unsocialable attitude" I didn't do anything on my time off of work but sit in front of the TV or computer. I rarely even saw my family.

I couldn't buy clothes so I didn't even bother to shop. When I did buy clothes they were sweat suits and T-shirts. I didn't take care of even my outward appearance. I would get up shower and leave for work with my hair wet and no make up. Weekends I'd stay in my pajamas for 2 days. I didn't do anything for myself to help my daily appearance, not even the small things we girls like to do like painting our nails.

My house was a mess. I would fight and cry about cleaning it with my ex. His fault? No I was just as bad and left stuff everywhere.

Passed up for positions at work I'm way overqualified for. People are judgemental against overweight people whether they admit it or not. Felt left out at work due to the same thing, people not talking to me or asking me questions when they knew I could help them.

Personal relationship went to hell due to many reasons on both of us. But I didn't help things I was so unhappy with myself even if I didn't realize it yet that I took some of that frustration out on him. Insecure, I had been with this man for 4 years and he never once saw me naked! I hated myself and all there was about me physically and emotionally.

For years I was unhappy with who I was but never did anything about it, and let that unhappiness continue to build up until it was way out of hand causing me to weigh 300lbs and forget who I was and wanted to be.

Thats it for now. Time to shower and get ready for the day. I'll write more later! Bye :)
 
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I'm so impressed by all that you have accomplished! Congrats on making it down to where you are. You evidently know what you are doing. I'm going to have to keep an eye on you for advice.

I completely understand what you are saying about having to deal with the mental/emotional part before anything physically will happen. I have wanted to lose weight for quite a while now & just never seem to have it stick for more than a few days. Now I have gotten through all the excuses (bought a treadmill with ALL my savings since I hate gyms & aren't comfortable walking in public.... now I know that I have invested in my future in another way other than in a savings account & there is no reason not to exercise daily!).
So far so good. I'm down 10 lbs since the first of the year & feel like I am mentally in a better frame of mind.

Good luck & I can't wait to see how much further you come on here.
 
breezy

Thank you for posting your story on WLF. You can teach us all a few things about losing weight the healthy way. I'll look for your diary.
 
Thanks you two :) Good you bought a treadmill! I had one for so long and it just took up space. Actually leaving the house to go the gym has helped me. I started with Curves since its all women and I didn't have to feel insecure while I exercised. I grew out of that and needed more variety. So I started at Pure Fitness kinda small still but I liked the atmosphere. I was comfortable and didn't feel I had to impress anyone there. Currently at Pure Fitness but have outgrown it and looking for a new gym with a bigger variety of classes and things to do. I want to sit in the sauna or maybe even tan while I'm there :) So on the days I'm bored (kinda like today!) I can have a variety of things to do at the gym besides workout!
 
How I feel now 110lbs gone.

I think of the questions asked this is one of the hardest to answer because it is making me look at myself now, which I need to do to keep up progress! So thank you for asking :)

How I feel now after 110lbs lost :D

Healthier, I no longer have breathing problems, I didn't get sick at Christmas and end up in the hospital like I had in the past. My feet don't swell anymore woo hoo! I pay attention to the things I eat, I don't crave the junk and sweets. I manage my portions. I stop eating when I'm full even if its something I love and just want more! I don't think about how food will make me feel better, I deal with the problems as they come instead of covering them with food.

I take care of my outward appearance. I love clothes again even tho I shop cheap and only buy stuff on sale since it won't fit me for long. I can shop at other stores besides Wal-mart! I get excited every time I buy a smaller size of jeans. I love going to get spa treatments to pamper myself. I paint my toenails again since I can see my feet :) I'm a girly girl what can I say I love getting my hair done, buying new make up, clothes, purses, perfumes things that make me "me".

I am happy with me, even still being overweight. I smile more. I take time to talk to people. I say Hi to people I don't know. I spend time with my family. I can sit on the floor and play with my baby niece or take her for walks. I looked up old friends and rekindled some of those lost relationships. I do things I always wanted to do or had not done in a long time. I went to Sea World my favorite place :) that I hadn't been to in 10 years. I tell my family and friends how much they mean to me. I thank them for all there encouragement and support. I started dancing again from workout tapes to going out. I took many dance classes growing up and loved it. Currently looking for a "workout" dance class at a gym or someplace. Discovering all the things I love and dreamed about when I was younger. Realized I do not need a man in my life to be happy that only I can make myself happy.

I'm not lazy anymore! Ok somedays I am :p I crave things to do, I look for things to do. I rarely watch TV. I read again from stories to books to help me with weight loss. I write in my journal daily. I take my dog to the park. I go the gym 5-6 days a week it is no longer a chore, it is something I love to do.

My insecurities are gone. I have a positive outlook on my life now even tho I am still figuring out exactly what direction I want my life to go.

Promoted at work. People talk to me now that didn't before. I'm not embarassed when a customer comes in that I know but had never met. Overall work experience has completely changed, its amazing how people treat you differently.. sad really but they do discriminate against us for our weight.


What made me change my life :rolleyes:

My relationship fell apart and I was left alone. I went into a depression for about a month but the depression wasn't because of the relationship failing, it was because I had realized what I had done to myself. I thought of Gastric Surgery but only because I was scared to be alone at 31. I then "woke up" so to speak and realized I had to get off my butt and change my life. No surgery, starving myself, crying daily, and not looking within myself was going to do that. I wanted happiness and I was the only one who could do that for me. Once I realized that everything just kind of fell into place :)
 
Calories were up today, got in 1340 yay! :) have all my meals planned out for next week. Took my dog to the park, went to the gym and went dancing tonight so exercise was good! Way sleepy time to sleep and relax tomorrow.
 
girl you brough tears to my eyes :) it was like seeing another one more candle lit. you know how there are things and signs that just make you say "ok this is a sign why you should continue" and you are exactly that sign for me. thank you :)
Lena
 
Thank you Lena and you can complete your goal :) I have faith in you!

Superbowl Sunday.. going to a party I'm sure with lots of yummy foods. So far only had a english muffin and a glass of fresh grapefruit juice, saving some of my calories for this afternoon as to not go over my limit from the party! Anxiously awaiting tomorrow as it feels like its a brand new start, new food menu and back to the gym full time. Still haven't weighed since last Tuesday planning on getting on the scale tomorrow morning, should be down since last time because of the "female issue" *crosses fingers its below 190*
 
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So today started off pretty good, I was highly motivated and excited to start my new plan. I weighed this morning and its 189! :) Although Im not tooo excited as I used a different scale (batteries died on mine) thats not digital and well those are hard to read. Im going to stick with that number for now until Thursday when I get my scale new batteries and my official weigh day for the February Challenge :)

As of lunch time I had only eaten 450 calories. Way low.. although it could work out ok as I talked to my mom and my sister and I are going over there for dinner. She's cooking my sisters favorite which is fried chicken, mashed potatoes, ya know country cooking :) which is also one of my favorites! Uggg !! she has been very supportive and usually doesn't cook like that if Im coming, but its something special for my sister. I should be ok, I don't like that "overstuffed" feeling so I handle my portions pretty well now. So since I found out about that I didn't eat anymore after lunch since I figure I'll get in a good amount of calories for dinner.

Well headed over there now for dinner, still going to try to squeeze in the gym a little later tonight. I'll write about my dinner later!
 
Oh and thanks Happy :) I hope that scale is right! 180's here we come! I know you will be there very soon too!
 
Back from dinner :) it went pretty good! I added up all my calories on fitday and its not bad considering my dinner meal wasn't normal.

Because of how late it was I didn't end up at the gym but my sister and I took Tatum (my niece she's 5 months old) for a walk around the block. It wasn't much but the baby was fussy because she's teething and we thought a little stroll would calm her down. We were right! She fell asleep!

So I stopped at the store on the way home for batteries for my scale and ended up buying a new one. Bye bye good ol trusty scale and in with the new! Its pink and has a breast cancer ribbon on it lol I'm a sucker for an add. But hey anything might help the cause right? :) It also measures body fat and water. I tried it out a little and guess what it says 189.5!!!! Even after dinner! I know I said I wasn't but since this is new and I want to see my fat and water levels I'm trying it out in the morning hehe

Bought a few more of my convenience foods at the store along with the scale, ya know pria bars, vitamin waters (on sale!), bananas, yogurts, and some cereal / granola bars to leave in my desk at work for those days I forget breakfast or am running late! The cashier just kinda looked at me funny buying a scale and nothing but diet foods, its a good thing I didn't buy that exercise book I was looking at lol I said "Can you tell I'm on a diet?" she just started laughing. Kinda funny how I get embarassed buying healthy foods I feel like people look at me like Oh here goes another one trying to diet again.. Owell who cares what they think right :)

Yep off to finish some work and get ready for bed.

Bye :)








Total: 1324

Fat: 41 365 29%
Sat: 13 121 10%
Poly: 11 96 8%
Mono: 12 110 9%
Carbs: 145 497 40%
Fiber: 21 0 0%
Protein: 99 395 31%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
I hate THAT look you get when buying all "diet" foods. Mabye its jealousy or something.

Glad you got the new scale. I'm such a sucker for gadgets & good causes. Sounds awesome. Hope your day is amazing!
 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Im SOOOOOOOOO excited and in shock right now!! I got on the new scale and it says..


187.5!!!! Holy Crap! Oh my I can't stand it! I can't remember the last time I weighed in the 180's maybe 12 years ago! I did it! YAY!!!!!!!! *Dances all around my room*

Ok had to get that out but omg! I can't believe I did it! Ok time to get back to getting ready for work!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
you probably lost another .5 lbs by dooing that dance :D

get down with your bad self, girlfriend :D congrats :D

Isn't it incredibly dorky when senior citizens try to use currentish expressions :D
 
SWEET!!!!

I'm so happy for you! Now you can join the 180 club & BREEZY right through it along with me....

Time to update the ticker. YEAH YOU!
 
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