Breezie's journey

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xobriegurlox

New member
So my name is Breezie.
I already introduced myself before but I will do it again. :)
I am 22 years old from WA state. I just had a gorgeous baby boy in August. I didn't gain a whole lot of weight with him and I lost it all right after I had him. But I was overweight before him.
I use food as a comfort item, like most people. I used to weigh in at about 130 back in 6th grade, so I was pretty heavy then, but i never gained any weight so I eventually filled out. I still thought I was fat though... until I got into a bad relationship. I could not stop myself from eating. Things were so bad I ended up gaining 70 pounds in two years. I didnt see myself gaining weight until I stepped on the scale. At my heaviest I weighted 230 pounds. I lost 30 pounds in a few months and have kept it off since.
At the beginning of this week, I weighed in at 196 pounds. I was devastated when I stood on the scale. I am 5'2" and have a small frame. I should weigh between 108-130. :banghead:
I also have a lot of health problems directly related to my weight. I have severe asthma as well as sleep apnea. My cholesterol levels and BP levels are fine though, thank God. My mom was a diabetic and died at 42. I dont want to end up like that.
What ended up giving me the push I needed... I live with my boyfriend of one year and he made some remarks about how I was always eating and always hungry. It hurt me to hear that but it was the truth. Then my friends told me that they were embarrassed to be seen with me in public. They are so vain.. lol. Anyway, so after that I decided I was sick and tired of being ridiculed and made fun of. I am sick of feeling worthless and no good. I am sick of feeling sick all the time and tired and lazy. I want to do this to improve my health. I also want to be beautiful to my boyfriend. It's hard to want to do anything physical with him when I feel so disgusting about myself. I know what I can look like and I want to get there. I want to look good so I can feel confident and make new friends. Its been so lonely lately... so I have to do this. I want to be here for my son unlike my mom was for me. I want to have the energy to play with him and take him to do things when he gets older.
So with that... I am starting my lifelong journey to a healthier lifestyle.

*starting weight: 196 (1/6/08)
*current weight: 191 (1/9/08)

Goals:
Lose 80 pounds by July 10, 2008
Drink water
Cut out all soda (including Diet Coke, my downfall)
walk 5 days a week, do three days of weight training
Try other methods to calm myself--yoga, journal, walking, etc.
Stick to 1200 calorie diet
Do a detox cleanse for a few days
cut down on portion size
be in size 12 jeans by March (currently size 16/18)
Incorporate my healthier eating habits into my family's eating habits
eliminate need for CPAP machine and nebulizer and/or inhalers
cut down or eliminate need for antidepressants

Rewards:
lose ten pounds: get hair done
Lose 20 pounds: manicure/pedicure/new jeans
lose 30 pounds: three new pairs of jeans
Lose 40 pounds: enroll in an art class/new jeans
Lose 50 pounds: spa day
lose 80 pounds: new wardrobe!!!:party:
 
why a 1200 calorie diet?

before you subject yourself to that -I strongly encourage you to read the stickied threads i n the nutrition forum and work on a reasonable calorie range.. 1200 calories is entirely too low for you.... especially with exercise.

a rough estimate would be about 10 calories a pound.

this shoudl not be a punishment or deprivation but a lifestyle change that you can live with for the rest of your life and that is NOT 1200 calories.


and there is nothing in your body to detox your body is self cleaning... eat heathily - drink water - your detoxed...

lecture over -

Go read and welcome to the forum
 
Hello, I want to start off by telling you WELCOME!! I think that it is really good that you have set your goals and rewards for your weight loss!! I also know how you feel, although none of my friends have told me that and you shouldnt be there friends anyways! I aslo had a baby 11 months ago and still trying to lose that "baby Fat"..but this is MY year! I know what you mean about wanting to look & feel good for your man..me too! Anywho good luck on your loss, please feel free to stop my diary for more support and what i;m do/eating!! :waving:
 
Welcome to the forum! You look like you've made a pretty detailed plan and are really motivated to go. The only thing that concerns me is 80lbs in 6 months might be a bit too rushed. Healthy weight loss should be about 1-2 lbs a week, anything above that puts a strain on your body, leaves you with loose skin and makes it more likely that you'll rebound. Just take your time and don't push yourself too hard, it's just a diet, it shouldn't feel like a chore or a looming deadline, it should just be a journey (with a few bumps in the road).

Also I know how you feel about the asthma, whenever I gain weight I tend to have a much harder time breathing...but the weight loss really improves it :)
 
Thank you for your concerns and suggestions :)
The detox thing was just an idea, but you have convinced me not to do it. LOL
my doc recommended the 1200-1400 calories a day thing. the more activity I incorporate the more I will eat, but right now I am pretty sedentary.
Would 60 pounds by July seem a more realistic goal? I thought 80 pounds was realistic LOL so I guess I am not sure. My doc didnt tell me anything except that I needed to lose weight haha.
 
welcome breezie! it's nice to meet you. I totally identify with you where you said you didn't feel like getting physical with your boyfriend feeling as you do about yourself. I also have a hard time feeling like doing the "wild thing" with my hubby while I look like this. I actually feel sorry for him sometimes because I am so insecure about myself that I end up not able to respond as I'm sure he'd like.
anyway, it looks like you have set goals and have determination to reach them. good for you. I hope I can get going on mine soon and plan to really "get moving" as soon as I get my elliptical, (hopefully this weekend)
 
Well!!!
Yesterday I did okay I guess. I replaced the majority of my diet coke with water. It may just be me, but my face already looks slimmer. LOL i dont know if diet coke makes you bloated or retain water or whatnot...
anyway. So my new favorite dish is vanilla pudding with fresh berries. It's only like 200 calories or something like that for a cup of each and omg I think it's better than ice cream. delicious! It has saved my sanity. Instead of craving brownies or cookies like I normally do, I eat the pudding and have a dose of health with the berries!
Anyway so the major slip up I had was two of those little cheeseburgers from mcdonalds. I didnt have fries but I did have a diet coke. I was soooo hungry when I was out that I just pulled into the first place I saw. I guess I didnt order as bad as I normally do, I usually go for a supersized meal with apple pies. MMM lol. Anyway but the rest of the day I did really well. I speed walked for 45 minutes and did some basic crunches and some squats. My son was crying so I had to cut it short.
Good news is though I am already down 7 pounds since I began. I know a lot of it is water weight but its kind of the push I need to keep on going, regardless of what the weight is from.
Today I am going to go to Walmart and get some slimfast shakes. I think it would be good to have on hand for the times when I am too busy to eat and need a quick something in my stomach, so instead of going to McDonalds or BK I'll grab one and take it on the road. I will also get some meal replacement bars to grab. I seem to be drawn to peanut butter crackers and those have like 300 calories in a pack of six so I need to find something else to replace those with.
I have not eaten yet, lol as I have just woken up. But I already feel a lot better than I did this time last week. so all in all I am feeling pretty darn good!!!
 
hey girl, i'm glad to hear that your doing good so far, and congrats on the weight lost!:hurray: I know that you said your not going to give yourself the *Junp starts diet*?? why did you change your mind? If you think thats what its gonna take for you to stay on track then i say go for it, it sure did help me and i'm gonna do again starting this weekend! Anyways I think 50-60 is a reasonable weight to loose if you stick with it, then thats a done deal!! thats what i'm going for and 30 before the end of Feb. So 20 more and i'm there!! I hope!! What i do for the slim-fast is i get the powder kind and put that with skim milk w/ice like a milk shake..ummmm so good!! anywho have a nice day!
 
Argh!!! Today was rough already. Yesterday I did so freaking well and today I kinda blew it. I didnt go grocery shopping yesterday like I was supposed to so what I was able to eat was pretty minimal. So I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat (which I guess isn't THAT bad but still.) then I had a nutrigrain bar. So that wasn't all that bad then I went to safeway to get groceries. It started out really good I picked up some powdered slimfast and some snack bars so I can get that started, as well as some fruits and veggies and whatnot. THEN... (dun dun dun) I started to get hungry... and I had... a hot turkey and havarti cheese panini. It was soooo freaking good but man the guilt so wasn't worth it. :( it was so greasy I felt so guilty. I told myself I would just have half of it but low and behold I ate the whole thing. *sigh* :ack2: I feel terrible. I know it isnt that big of a deal I just need to be careful what I eat for the rest of the night but still. I get soooo motivated to hit this thing head on. I have goals and rewards and I KNOW what I need to do but for some reason I just... can't help myself. I'm totally a compulsive eater. I fixate on food forever until I finally eat what I had been obsessing about. :( I wish I could fixate on working out instead. But alas... I cant work out today. I injured my back a few years ago at work and its acting up so im trying to rest it. It hurts soooo bad. That's part of the problem... I get mad I cant workout so then I sit and eat and before I know it I have eaten my day's worth of calories in a single sitting. I haven't done that today I am just saying in general. I guess my dad has this problem too, compulsive eating. My doc put me on antidepressants to help with it but it doesn't seem to work.
Maybe I will try to do like 15 minutes of speedwalking on the treadmill this afternoon. It is better than nothing. I did do some fast paced walking around the store today for like an hour so that counts I'd say :)
Pretty sad, I just started and I already feel like I have fallen off the wagon. :( ARGH!
 
Dont Stop!!!!!!! I know you feel bad and want to just eat whatever..lol..but you cant!! You have to do this for you and your health, yes there are going to be times where you fall off, but what you do is get right back on! If you were to stop then your going to end up gaining way more then what you already have..and then have more to get off, and we all know we dont want that! Next time when your in the store shopping and feel hungry open up one of those protein bars and eat it in the store to tie you over until you get home to cook! Good luck, tomorrow is a NEW day!:seeya:
 
LOL i have no intention of stopping I just need to quit beating myself up over it. :) I just get angry with myself sometimes that's all. But I am in in for the long haul, I am not gonna quit just because I had a sandwich :) btw what jump start diet did you try that worked for you? I am trying to do some research on it to perhaps try so we will see. Any suggestions?
 
I'm a compulsive eater too...and I know that feeling of wanting something really bad and not getting over it untill you've eaten it (all of it!). But don't worry about it, we all have slip ups and every day is a new day. I think what I've been doing this diet is trying to incorporate the foods that I would normally eat just in smaller portions. So a few days ago I ate the same lasagna everyone else was having, just a smaller slice, and during the weekend I made beef fajitas with my friend and had only one. It must be working since my weight is still dropping, and it's much more satisfying than denying yourself completely. (besides, whenever I do deny myself the things I like, once I'm done the diet I just scarf it all down and up goes the weight)
 
Well yesterday I did ok. After the slip up with the panini, I worked out doing cardio and strength training for like 45 minutes. Then I did a power walk in the treadmill, 2.5 mph, incline, with dumbells for approximately 15 minutes. I had so much energy afterwards that I decided to reorganize the kitchen cabinets :) So the day breaks down like this:
Breakfast: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat
snack: nutrigrain bar
lunch: turkey and havarti panini
dinner: large salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing, hand full of baby carrots, 1/4 c corn, one slice of meatloaf (and I didn't even go back for seconds!!!)
Dessert: None (i figured I had cheated earlier in the day lol)
SO not the best but I haven't gained any weight back. I know I shouldn't weigh myself daily but I can't help it. LOL I will break myself of the habit soon. :)

Today's plan looks like this:
Breakfast: Slim fast shake
snack: snack bar
lunch: slim fast shake and half a sandwich
snack: orange or apple
dinner: unknown, but probably chicken and a salad
dessert: my pudding and berries creation. yummo!!!
 
So this weekend I did really well. I have been following the slim fast diet pretty religiously, turning down all opportunities for junk food. I did over do it at dinner a little bit but it was with good stuff, salad and broccoli and whatnot.
And the best part... I am so proud of myself for this... yesterday my family and I went to taco time for dinner. And I didn't order a thing!!! I waited until I got home and had a slim fast shake and half a grilled cheese sandwich (i know, not the best, but certainly better than taco time!). I had that for dinner because at lunch I had a sandwich and didn't have a slim fast shake so I swapped the two. I am so proud of myself!!!
The thing is.. I am doing so well, but I haven't lost ANY weight since i last weighed in. That is pretty discouraging. :( I worked out and ate well and not a thing. *sigh* I am going on a trip in a month with my family so I would like to be down ten pounds by then. I wont be bathing suit ready for sure but I would like to at least feel a little bit better about myself. So all in all I am doing pretty well, certainly better than I have before. When I have dieted in the past, I would do it for three days then call it quits and binge. But now... I have gone for a week! :) Pretty darn good.
 
Great job so far! You should also keep measurements. they keep track of your progress better than just weight.
 
well the slim fast is really easy to stick to, but my problem is I feel so dizzy during the day. I dont know if its because I cut my caloric intake too quickly or what but I can barely get off the couch its so bad. Today wasnt as bad as yesterday. Yesterday I forced myself to eat a little bit more than usual to see if it would help, and it did. I have only had a slim fast today and a nutrigrain bar lol I just got done working out so I should probably have some lunch. I am thinking I need to modify the slimfast diet and add in a few more calories or I will never make it through.
I also noticed I am super tired lately. Again, I think its because of the caloric restriction but I have just been exhausted. could it be because I cut out soda completely and am not getting enough fluids? I just dont know what it is I am doing wrong. I drank diet coke all my life so cutting it out is huge for me. Maybe I am just so used to the caffeine that now that I dont have it I have hit a slump? Would increasing my water intake help any??
Still no change on the scale. I was thinking about not weighing myself for awhile just to see how much I would lose but I also read an article in SELF magazine that said that people that weigh themselves daily were more likely to keep the weight that they were losing off than those who did weekly weigh ins. So I guess daily weigh ins are not that detrimental. LOL... I am just so frustrated with the lack of progress. I haven't lose a single pound in like 5 days! I mean, granted, the first couple days i lose a huge amount of weight (most of it water...) but now its just stopped completely. I am trying to push myself to do harder workouts instead of just walking. Today I did strength training and cardio. I had to stop halfway through and rest during it though lol it was tough. I know I will be feeling it tomorrow. I am thinking I will eat some lunch, clean up (which is a great workout too lol) then hop on the treadmill for a half hour. I figure that if I cant make it through a workout in an hour or so I can break it up a bit and rest in between until I can build up the stamina to go from one to the other.
My personal life is soooo stressful with my boyfriend and his exwife and daughter and stuff, I am worried I will fall off the wagon. Last night I made sloppy joes (at the request of my boyfriend) and had two. :blush5:Which is an improvement from the, like, five I used to have. And I ate a ton of veggies. But I dont know what I was thinking cooking something that I KNOW i can't help but eat a ton of. That and spaghetti, lol. I threw out the leftovers so I wouldn't be tempted to gorge on them again today. :hurray: But I am worried that I will fall off the wagon because of stress. :piggy:I just need to remind myself to workout instead of eat. I will feel a whole lot better in the long run...
 
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