Breaking the habit of a lifetime!

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:( Dang time difference. My I-want-to-eat-everything-in-sight day is just about over and I´m glad of it!
 
I'm just gonna keep bit bottle of water nearby nd grab that instead for the rest of the night! Nearly 9pm so getting there aha
 
That would have been my plan but I've got nights coming up so no point getting and early night!

I've literally done less than 1000 steps today...
 
So today I slept until 12:30... clearly needed it!

And if ever I needed motivation to get back on the wagon after yesterday it was the scales this morning...
14st 13.75lbs!

Back under 15st. Just!

I know it might not stay there but it was nice to see this morning :)
 
I have no idea why motivation turned into garlic bread for dinner....
Calories will be reasonable today though. With fruit for snacks if I get peckish tonight I'll come in around 1450 overall!
 
Under 15 is great! It's so good seeing a little milestone like that, well done :) garlic bread is lethal.. lovely but lethal!
 
Sunflower_ said:
Under 15 is great! It's so good seeing a little milestone like that, well done :) garlic bread is lethal.. lovely but lethal!
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I wouldn't have had it but it was in the fridge and goes off soon! Looking to have a low calorie day tomorrow. Going to get to the supermarket and get some more broccoli rice because it was sooooo yummy!
 
Totally went to Asda and forgot broccoli rice! Ah well I had some cauliflower couscous to make up for it.

Sooo. I've not diary-ed the last two days because I'm pretending I didn't eat what I ate.
Food was good.
Snacks were not.

I baked a cake for work but over cooked it. So me and OH ate it... not all of it. There is still some left. But I'm pretty sure I ate about 750 calories of cake over two days. However I did keep my meals to 3-400 each.

I'm off to stick it in MFP and face my own gluttony!
 
Ok day before yesterday is a goner. I tracked most of the day up to 1400 but definitely ate more but can't remember what.

Yesterday is at 1800 inc a lot of cake. I think I over estimated how much cake I ate. I forgot I didn't eat it all myself and that OH had as much as I did so I only ate 1/4 of a cake not 1/2. Still pretty poor though! It was lemon drizzle with no frosting or glaze so could have been worse I guess. It's 165 cals for 1/16th of a cake. 189 with glaze... I've totally tracked a slice in anticipation of having some at work. And a donut. Although I may not have a donut yet.

Night shifts are crap!

Usually because I'm up at funny times MFP sulks and says I'm not eating enough. But I definitely am haha
 
I stopped tracking over my nights.
My dad's back in hospital. My grandma is a pain in the arse.
I've been emotionally eating and spending hours a day laying in bed crying instead of sleeping. I also started watching 13 reasons why, which in hindsight was a really terrible idea but I've nearly finished so I can't stop now.

Feeling eurgh
And fat
And shitty

It's like a magic shit trigger. I hit below 15st and all hell breaks loose.
Fed up of it now
 
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. Families cause so much stress sometimes. The most important thing right now is that you take care of you. If that means donuts and cake then so be it. Make sure to throw some vegetables and water down the hatch every so often and try to get out of the house for a bit everyday. It'll help you feel a bit better and not so alone with your problems.
 
Sweetpea :( I'm sorry - it's so easy to slip back into those emotional responses to stress and upset. Give yourself some self-love, honey. Get outside and stop watching that AWFUL show! I work with kids in care and we have so many of them glorifying suicide now (and we've had some attempts :( ). Makes me cross! Hope things get better flower xx
 
Well I carried on watching 13 reasons why. And came to the conclusion that shit wouldn't have been so bad if she'd have just talked to someone. So I talked to my husband. A lot. We had a long long talk about my past and how it's still affecting me and then we went to visit my dad in hospital and after I had a good cry about how my parents only tell me they love me when they're drunk...

I finished the show today and actually enjoyed it. I think for the most part it was well done. However. I think my teen years and how I've grown since then has a lot to do with it. I can understand how watching it can make you think that suicide is the right/only option.
I'm very on the fence about it..

I've been stuck at work for a few days and I'm back again tomorrow but feeling much better. Ish haha.
 
Talking to someone you trust is almost always helpful. Glad you feel a bit better despite having a lot on your shoulders.
 
There's more to come out. But I've reached a point where I've already said so much stuff that any more would have been too much for one chat!

I've totally just had a takeaway though.

Got my stuff for tomorrow to back on it properly. Gunna set my overnight oats going soon and pack my dinner!!
 
Just to clarify I don't generally get really bad taleaways! I had half a chickpea curry, some rice, half a small portion of chips and two onion bhajis. Not like I used to where I'd eat a whole pepperoni pizza and cheesy chips and a burger haha
 
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