br!na's weightloss diary

br!na

br!na

New member
I'm starting this diary to express my frustrations and success through thus journey to get myself back. I'm only 26. But I feel much older. In the past year I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis and hemochromatosis. I'm also bi-polar. So, exercise and keeping up with my diet is a daily struggle along with everything else. My wife and I ( yes, im a lesbian) are foster parents. We have a 13 year old foster daughter. Yes, she has a lot of problems, no I can't talk about them. But I can say that I get stressed out a lot with her. And when I'm stressed, i like to eat. I'm also wiccan. Not that my religion matters, but because of it, I like all natural things. I've tried modern things with my illnesses, but they don't help. Now, I'm trying spiritual healing. Because of the fibro, I have a really hard time losing weight. So yes, I do take a diet pill to help. No, that does not mean that I rely on the pill to do everything for me. I still eat healthy food, count calories and exercise. I even go to the gym 4 times a week. The pill I take is all natural with no side effects and i only take one a day.
I've always been a little bigger than most people. and I've battled my weight my entire life. But I was never really determined to lose a substantial amount of weight. I was okay with myself. A few years ago, I broke my foot and was down for 8 weeks. During that time I gained quite a few pounds. I tried to lose them afterwards but didn't really care. then I got sick. And it took forever to get a diagnosis. It was stressful and frustrating. I began gaining more and more weight. But I just didn't care anymore. I ate what I wanted when i wanted and never stepped on a scale because I didn't care what it said.
About a month ago, I was feeling especially horrible about myself and decided I needed a change. I stepped on the scale to see the damage and just started crying. I cried for about an hour. I was 216 lbs. The biggest I had ever been. I hated myself. But I decided I HAD to lose weight!! That day I made a plan, wrote it all out, made a food journal, and a weekly weigh in sheet. I had many goals. Not just one big one. Because I knew that if i just said I want to lose 70 lbs, I would get frustrated and quit. My first goal was to get back under 200. And I am proud to say that today, I have reached that goal!! As of today I am 199.6. I still have a long way to go. But by setting smaller goals, and continuing to work hard, I plan to reach the ultimate goal of 140.
This is my story. This is my journey. And I am determined to be successful!!
 
Today, my weight is 199.8. Not much of a change. I'm having a frustrating day. The gym is closed. And its raining, so I can't walk the track. Being stuck inside on a rainy day..... Makes me want to sit here and snack all day. :( I need something to keep my mind off of food. And this movie that my wife put in (Cloudy with a chance of meatballs) is not doing the trick!!
Maybe its time to paint my nails! :)
 
Hey br!na you mentioned rain and it's raining here, too. Then I see your location and you're about 55 miles from where I'm from. Small world, eh?
 
Tomorrow will be my weekly weigh in and measurements! I'm excited to see the results. And hopefully I'm still under 200!! Right now, my main goal is to stay under 200. I want to get as far away from 200 as possible!

So since this will be my first time recording my stats in this diary, I will go ahead and give you last weeks:

9/23
Weight: 201.8
Chest: 39
Waist: 38
Hips: 42.5
Arms: R- 12.5 L- 13
Legs: R- 20 L- 20

Alright, those are last weeks stats! Tomorrow morning, we will see uf any of them have changed!! Goodnight you guys!
 
br!na said:
Tomorrow will be my weekly weigh in and measurements! I'm excited to see the results. And hopefully I'm still under 200!! Right now, my main goal is to stay under 200. I want to get as far away from 200 as possible!

So since this will be my first time recording my stats in this diary, I will go ahead and give you last weeks:

9/23
Weight: 201.8
Chest: 39
Waist: 38
Hips: 42.5
Arms: R- 12.5 L- 13
Legs: R- 20 L- 20

Alright, those are last weeks stats! Tomorrow morning, we will see uf any of them have changed!! Goodnight you guys!
Click to expand...

OMG, that is really in detail. I am really afraid of doing that. I should. For the record. I was thinking of a before/after picture. So, I have started clicking myself and logging in video everyday(end of day). Helps really. Good luck on moving away from 200.
 
Yeah... I'm a sucker for details! Lol I like to know that I'm losing EVERYWHERE! Haha

As for my weight, my weigh in today was 198.0.
My measurements are written down. I will post them in a bit.

I'm a little further from 200!!! And only 2 lbs away from my 20 lbs lost mark!! Woo-hoo!!!
 
Okay so, my measurements haven't really changed.

9/30
Chest: 41
Waist: 38
Hips: 42.5
Arms: R-13 L-13
Legs: R-17.5 L-18.5

So, my chest is bigger. Which is frustrating. My sister says its because I've been going to the gym, so its muscle.
The rest of it is the same. My legs are down a bit. But we will see what the next week brings! :)

I'm off to the gym!
 
I just left the gym! And I feel GREAT!!
I did 3.7 miles on the bike. (With hills)
30 min on the treadmill with level 2 incline and 3.0 speed.
4 reps of 25 on the ab machine with 50 lbs
4 reps of 25 on the leg press with 100 lbs
And 2 reps of 25 of arm weights with 12.5 lbs (my arms seem to be weaker than my legs when it comes to the fibro.)

Anyways- now its time to go home and make dinner for the family!
 
br!na, you'd be surprised how much walking can help. I did walking from when I started at 195 until around 170 when I started jogging instead. I still walk when I can't make it to the gym. It's the easiest form of exercise and can be done anywhere. Keep up the good work!
 
Thanks girl! I'm not doing too well tonight. It's midnight, I'm the only one up because my insomnia is in high gear and for some reason I can't stop snacking. I keep fighting it. But after about half an hour, I give in. And no, not all of the snacks are really healthy. I'm afraid of what the scale will say in the morning.
This is the first time in 6 weeks that I've had this happen. I've been doing so well, especially with my late night snacking. But tonight, its bad. Of course I know that I won't gain back my 18 lbs overnight. Although, I am afraid to go back over 200. I'm frustrated. But not enough to give up. I'm just ready to get back to it tomorrow. Especially the gym!!!
 
Hi Br!na, just getting to check out your diary this morning. Welcome to the forum. You'll get some great support here to help you on your journey.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I've always fought with my weight too, but oddly enough never really had the drive or desire to really lose it. My high was 250lb so be thankful you caught yourself well before I caught myself! Less work for you to do, yay! :)

My wake up call was early this year when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Before my diagnosis I was in so much pain! I could barley move my arms. In the middle of the night I'd wake up crying at times because my shoulders hurt so much so to reposition myself in bed was just pure hell. It was bad. My life at the time pretty much consisted of getting up, going to work, going home, and going to bed. Thankfully, once I got my referral to a specialist and got diagnosed I was started on meds and I'm actually able to function very well now. I still have issues with my right knee and left ankle at times, but even that's pretty subtle most of the time. I would've preferred a natural route to deal with my issues too, but unfortunately all of the research I've done is showing me there really isn't one. I hope you're able to get your issues under control naturally. Just don't be afraid to get medication if/when it becomes necessary to function. :)

As for your measurements, yes it is very possible that your chest has gotten bigger because of added muscle. You may even see a rise in your weight because of added muscle. I try not to focus too much on the number on the scale because it can be misleading. I try to focus on measurements, how my clothes fits, and how I feel overall.

So anyway, sorry to babble. I'm glad you're here and best of luck on your journey! :)

EDIT: One other thing I wanted to add, you can always check out Youtube for free workout videos to do when you're stuck indoors on rainy days. I personally don't go to the gym. I'm not comfortable with being in front of others while I'm flailing and flopping around exercising so I do my workouts at home by myself. I'm a Taebo fanatic. There are several great workouts available on Youtube, if for nothing else you'll get a cardio workout in. :)
 
Thanks so much, Mandy! I've actually gone on YouTube before for workout videos. I found a great guy on there that has his own website. His name is Adrian. His website is nowloss.com
He actually puts some of his YouTube videos on dvd and will send it to you for free. No shipping or anything. He says he just wants everyone to look good naked. Lol I enjoy his dvd. He does a lot of interval training. I actually forgot I had that dvd until now. Thanks for the reminder! :)
I was afraid of the gym for a while. I thought everyone would stare at me. Fortunately, I live in a small town and there aren't that many people that go to the gym. Mostly high school bits lifting weights. Plus I take my headphones to plug into my phone while I workout and listen to music. Or the treadmills each have a tv on them so I can plug my headphones in and watch my favorite show while I walk. :)

I have actually gone to quite a few drs for my health issues. The only thing that comes from that is being broke. They charge out the ass (I don't have insurance) just to tell me to take ibuprofen and exercise. Since I live in a small town, most of the doctors around here are older and don't believe that Fibromyalgia is real. I've been told by a few doctors that its all in my head. So, unfortunately, no matter how bad I get, doctors don't do me any good.

I'm sorry to hear that you have rheumatoid arthritis. But I'm glad that you are able to stay active!! My aunt had RA. She got bad in her 30s. And by her 50s she was bedridden. She moved in with me and my mom and we took care of her until she died in 2010. So, I definitely understand how bad it can get!

I see from your ticker that you have lost 45 lbs!! That is amazing!! How long did it take you? I've been at this for about 6 weeks now. My sister has lost 41 lbs in about 4 months! She also started out at 250. So I can imagine your results!! You must be so proud!!!! :)
Here's her before and during pics! I'm sooo proud of her!!!
View attachment 21423

Well, I guess I have rambled as well. Guess I will shut up for now! :)
 
Today was better with my eating. And when I weighed this morning I was only up .2 which put me at 198.2. Not bad for all the snacking I did last night. Not that I want to try that every night. :) I went to the gym again today. Did about the same workout as yesterday. I did skip my arms and only did 20 min on the treadmill. I didn't have as much time there today. Our case worker for our CD came out after school and had quite a long meeting. But at least I still got to go and do something! :)
 
Something is better than nothing, br!na. Just remember that. Animal crackers are my go to snack now--16 crackers has only 120 calories.
 
Idk what happened with the last post... CD is supposed to be FD. Oh well.

Tonight is better! I had my one snack after dinner... Not directly after dinner though! :) and I'm not hungry! Although, I'm having dry mouth, so I've been guzzling water for hours!
Tomorrow, I would not be surprised if I'm still 198. Although I'm hoping for something lower!!! My next small goal is 20 lbs lost. and I'm only 2 lbs away from that!! :)

Tomorrow, I will not be able to go to the gym. Although I wanted to go from 4 days a week to 5 days a week, something has come up for tomorrow. This morning, our blazer was hit by a delivery truck while my wife was at work. My poor truck was just minding its own business, sitting in the parking lot and BAM!!! #sigh So tomorrow will be spent going around getting estimates to fix her.
But I do plan on throwing a walk around the block in there somewhere. Just so I'm doing something, ya know?

Belinda.... Animal crackers? That's awesome! They are my favorite childhood treat! :) do they curb the hunger between meals? For a 120 calorie snack I like to grab two cuties. (Small oranges) they're yummy!! Unfortunately I'm out right now. :(
My BFFs brother eats a spoonful of peanut butter as a snack. I guess with all the protein, it curbs the hunger. He's also an MMA fighter and has very strange eating habits while training. #shrugs whatever works I guess. Haha
 
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That sucks about your car. Will they be paying for the damages at least?? I sure hope so! Having a four-year-old means kid snacks like animal crackers, I just so happened to look at the nutrition label and saw the serving size vs calories. 16 crackers is a pretty good size for a snack at just 120 calories and they curb my craving for sugary cookies or donuts or ice cream lol. Btw, oranges sound so awesome right now!
 
I honestly don't know how long it took me to get here. My highest weight was on 5/4/10 which was 250lb, but then I went almost 2 years before weighing in again. My health was never a top priority unfortunately until recently. In 2012 I decided I needed to change and got down to 235lb before summer hit and I fell off the wagon. Early this year I decided to get serious about it. Since joining here in Feb 2013 I've only lost 17lb, BUT I've gone from a size 26 to 16 so I've lost more inches than weight. I'm assuming the low weight loss number is because I've lost fat, but added muscle.

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. My rheumatoligist said that my numbers were very high and that we need to stay on it aggressively. I'm currently taking methotrexate which is a pill form, but she thinks eventually I'm going to need to get the injectable meds. I'm not looking forward to that, but hopefully with the changes I'm doing I won't need to go there.

I agree with Belinda in that any exercise is better than no exercise! It'll all add up in the end. As for animal crackers, I also went through a phase where that was my go to snack. They're actually pretty yummy and a good low calorie snack. For me, it helped. I just get bored easily with food so I like to mix it up. :)
 
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