Boyfriends RUDE family

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NOTYOURPRIZE

New member
So me and my boyfriend have been together a while now, and last weekend we had went and stayed at his moms house.

During breakfast the subject of weight and everything had been brought up.

As crazy as this sounds.. his mother asks how big my mom is. Now my mom isn't perfect, but neither is his... and I dont appreciate him making fun of my mother because I wouldnt do the same. Anyway - so she asks how big my mom is and what size she wears and I think she gets like an egoboost or something knowing that shes 4 sizes smaller than my mom.

THEN - she said how much she weighed, and I tell her how much I weighed. She said she was 199, and I told her that I was 184.. Not to mention that I am 5'7 and wear only size 11.. and carry it very well. Most people say something along the lines like "oh wow you don't even look it" yada yada.

She goes on about wow you're big those size 11 pants must be tight. Like how rude. I was so upset about it... Super upset.. and I'm afraid to bring it up to my boyfriend because .. Sometimes he teases me about my weight too.. but he knows that Im trying.

Should I say something to him anyway? .. if I decide to I don't know how to bring it up or what to say.. Its really bothering me.
 
That is rude...if it had been me, I would have said something to her right there. And I am not a confrontational person; but that was excessively rude.

I would say something to him; you don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody.
 
NOTYOURPRIZE said:
She goes on about wow you're big those size 11 pants must be tight. Like how rude. I was so upset about it... Super upset.. and I'm afraid to bring it up to my boyfriend because .. Sometimes he teases me about my weight too.. but he knows that Im trying.

Should I say something to him anyway? .. if I decide to I don't know how to bring it up or what to say.. Its really bothering me.
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:eek: :eek: WITCH is all i can say!
How sad must her life be if she has to put :eek: you down to make herself feel better?

Dont be upset for what she said to you feel pitty on her that she cant be a nice human and her life must really suck to hurt your feelings.

Dont get me wrong i know weight comments hurt, i got them all the time off my ILS but it just made me work harder and harder just to shut them up and prove i can be beautiful inside and out ;)

Now on to the B/Friend, if he teases you thats mean!
Love shouldnt be like that, if my man teased me id be kicking his bottom untill he realised i am beautiful for who i am inside and made him realise he needs to love me for me, not for the outside.

Sorry if this dosent make sence i just find it so sad.
Dont get me wrong we had issues (sex life not as good ect) when i was at my biggest but he never teased me. Id be heart broken if he did.......
 
damn girl~! that is some beeeaatchy behaivior by ur bf's mom. the only reason she is bringing it up is cause she needs to pick on other people in order to make her FAT ARS happy! she is what we call evil self ego-boosting broads. anyways, it is very important in a relationship to keep communication open. if he truly cares for you (or loves you i dont know) he will/is supposed to care about how you feel. and if you feel like you have been put down by his mother, then he needs to know about it. you dont have to be mean or attack him, but bring it up in a "I've been thinking about this for a while" tone--and make sure that he knows you've truly been made to feel sad. if you bring it up in a non-aggressive manner, he should listen to you and at the very least understand where you are coming from. as for what he should do about it, that's a sticky situation-he may want to talk to his mom, or you guys may just need to not go over there that often! it's up to the both of you, and its something that affects both your lives, so make it count! good luck hun.
 
Oh honey, your boyfriend shouldn't tease you like that, let alone his mom! Definitely sit down with him and have a talk. Meanwhile *BIG hugs!*
 
maybe you should bring it up to your boyfriend. if he loves you he shouldn't be teasing you that way, or maybe he doesn't know teasing can make you upset. communication is the key! :) as for the mother, u know what, a lot of mothers are like that. forget about her and focus on YOU!
 
Ok, there are some MAJOR red flags goin' off here.

The man you love teases you about being overweight?
Your potential MIL is already behaving like a nightmare MIL?

I say drop them both on their asses and find someone who treats you with respect.
 
GIRRRRRL, my face was getting redder and redder by the moment as I read that! I want so badly to curse her a$$ out for you!!! She is nasty, ignorant and simple minded and he should have NEVER let her talk to you that way. I think you should bring it up to him. I would NEVER let my parents treat someone I care about that way....though my parents have far more self respect and respect for others to do such a thing anyway.

Just what do you mean by he teases you about your weight. Now, I know I'm one to talk because I have let men mistreat me in the past BUT...honey don't stay with a man if he belittles you and makes you feel bad about yourself. I dated a guy once that was well over 300 pounds and I loved him dearly! His size didn't matter to me, he was the sweetest man I had ever known...the bastard cheated on me, but that's not the point. LOL What I'm saying is you and I (and all of us) DESERVE to be treated with respect by those we love and those that proclaim to love/care about us. If you let him treat you that way, he's going to continue to do so and he's going to let others do it.

I don't know you, but I for damn sure know that you don't deserve this. Talk to him first, but if he can't respect you and see that both he and his mother have mistreated you then you're going to have to make some real decisions. You deserve better sweetie...I'm a little late in realizing this for myself, but I want you to see it in this situation before you waste too much of your time on him. Talk to him first though, he may be willing to change and be truly apologetic...but if not, KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER! *BIG HUG*
 
Kaitie said:
Ok, there are some MAJOR red flags goin' off here.

The man you love teases you about being overweight?
Your potential MIL is already behaving like a nightmare MIL?

I say drop them both on their asses and find someone who treats you with respect.
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The lady speaks the truth...

You don't deserve be treated like that... you can do a lot better than either of those two...
 
sounds like a bunch of wankers to me, get yourself a new guy, all bad signs there im afraid

being a guy i like to think i know them well, and hes a bad 1 if hes gonna be teasing you about something like your weight
 
Wow.... what a biotch!! :mad:
I'm usually not a confrontational person but that woman better be glad she didn't say any of that to me b/c heifer would've gotten an earful.
When pushed... I go off!
Grrrr.. that just makes me so angry to read that!!

And if your bf's teasings make you feel bad, say something to him.
Don't just bottle it up and take it.
He might not even realize that he's hurting you by teasing you.

My bf teases me (playfully) about a bunch of stuff, but I know it's his way of showing he cares.

MAYBE that's how you're bf is as well. Even if it is though, if he's hurting your feelings.. You gotta just say something.
And say something to him about his mother and her rude behaviour.
If he loves ya and it happens again, hopefully he'll tell her to shut her piehole for you (yes I know that's not what kids should be saying to their parents, but in this instance.... I think it'd be acceptable).
 
Ignore her, and if your boyfriend teases you as well, tell him to take a hike.
It's bad enough saying stuff like that, but when she's bigger than you are, it crosses the line between rudeness and utter retardedness (if there is such a word). She probably needs to put others down to make her feel better about herself.
As for your boyfriend, there are two types of teasing. One is the playful type, which means that he doesn't mean it, but the other is like when people joke, just to be able to say what they really think but still say that they were joking (was that confusing?). If it's the former, sit him down and tell him it bothers you, and if it's the latter, dump the bastard (excuse that).
And it's utterly unacceptable for someone to have the utter nerve to bring up your mother's weight, whatever she is, or even yours. His mother was downright rude and deserves a kick up her ***.
 
wow that is sad
you know to have a relation ship you must be able to be honest and open
I would tell him how you feel because if you hold thi s inside it will just eat you up and amke you down and depressed if he loves you for who you are then he will support you , he should be supportive of you and he should not let his mom speak to you this way we are all humans rather fat or skinny or in between
geese i wish i were in 11 i was shooting to a size 16
but eitherway stand up for your self and mom for that case
people dont always think before they speak
any way wish you luck and if you need our support let us know we will be here for you
 
RUN. He needs to be the ex-boyfriend. For your own sake, please don't progress your relationaship with someone who teases you about a sensitive subject, that is insensitive and downright mean and bullying.........that behavior will only get worse. He should be supportive and understanding. That type of behavior tells me that he has absolutely NO respect for you or your feelings. Not to mention that probably not something that he just does to do, it sounds like it was learned from his parents.........do you want to marry into something like that? The answer should be an emphatic NO.
 
First of all that is very rude. Screw her. I know how you feel. Every time I go see my Mother in Law she makes all the suggestions that I start going to the gym after work, blah, blah, blah. Not blatently saying i'm fat but enought to make me feel bad about myself. The things is people like that aren't worth even thinking about. I let her say her two cents and then I look at her huge pot belly and how unhappy she is, and I remember how happy I am, and it just doesn't matter. Screw her! I'd die to be in size 11s! You go girl.

And, on the subject of your boyfriend, do what makes you happy. Seriously sit down and think about your relationship and do what makes you happy, because you deserve it.

Keep up the good work, make yourself happy, and have a great day.
 
Wow, your post has me just STEAMING. I can't believe she had the audacity to say those things. Okay, now everyone's going on about how they aren't normally confrontational people - I'll admit, I am, when I feel like it's deserved, and wow, I've not seen a case more deserving of someone being confrontational in a while. The instant she asked about either my or my mother's weight I would have stopped cold, looked her dead in the eye, and said "I beg your pardon" - very slowly. Then, if the witch didn't get the point and actually repeated herself, I would have said "Are you actually asking me how much my mother weighs?" With all the deliberate slowness and disgust as you would say "Did you actually just pick a booger out of your nose and flick it on my plate?"

I wouldn't go so far as to point out her weight in relation to my own, even if tempting, although I might throw in a few well timed glances at her hips while talking. The point is to make it just obvious how classless those questions and comments are. Utterly, utterly classless.

As for the boyfriend - well, most peope have thrown their two cents in already on that one. If he's teasing you in a way that's hurtful, then baby, take the money and run. If not, then you do absolutely need to talk to him about this. No question. Everyone is right though, don't bring it up confrontationally with him, but bring it up. Do not, under any circumstances let him make you feel like you were overreacting, or are oversensitive. What she did was horrid, there's no two ways about it. And if he lets his mother trample your feelings now, it's not going to change 6 months from now, or 6 years from now. Whether he should say something to her or not is a more difficult question. You may decide you want to say something yourself, you may decide not to address it with her unless it comes up again - the specifics of that aren't nearly as important as the idea that he hears you, understands, and has your back.

As far as confrontation goes - I'm of the mind that we let people insult us all the time because we are afraid of confrontation. I figure, if you're going to insinuate something about me, let's stop pretending we're having a polite conversation - that just feels like a bad play. Let's just go ahead and have a good fight. At least that's honest.
 
Just another guy's perspective....

Lay it out for him. Don't be shy, just tell it like it is.

If he loves you, he'll do his best to make a change in his attitude for you. If he doesn't love you, you are better off finding out now rather than after you are married with a couple of kids.
 
That is ridiculous

I can't believe his mother would say that to you. A size 11 is not big at all, and for her to say "those must be tight" is stupid. She's a jealous person, because you weigh less than her and she wants to make herself look good. It's sad that grown people act like they are still in junior high school. As for your boyfriend, he may be "supportive" but he does not need to be teasing you about your weight. My advice: Demand respect from both of them. You deserve to be treated with respect. So demand it. I am not a confrontational person either, but when my weight is brought up and someone is rude, you better believe that person is going to hear an ear full.

Good luck on the rest of your weight loss journey. Believe that you can do it, and that you are a beautiful person that DESERVES more than what you are getting.
 
Yikes!!!

All of these were great, I didn't think I would get such a good response.

I eventually did talk to him about it, and he said he was sorry for what his mom said, and that he only really goes over there because he wants to see his younger brothers and sisters.

I told him even though his mother said something so rude to me, that I would still respect her and I hope he does the same for my mother and family as well.

We have talked about the way he jokes about my weight.. because it used to be bad but now he knows how much it hurts me.. so yeah.

So hopefully next time I see his mother (which is on Thanksgiving) she will have a little more respect once she sees how good I look! Hopefully I'll be down to 175, which means I'll look bumpin! (Since I'm 5'7) haha

Again, thanks for all of the support. <333
 
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