BmOhearn's diary

i just made myself some lunch. I great one!

I made a grilled cheese:
2 slices of wheat bread- 160 calories
1 slice of low fat cheese- 50 calories
1 tbsp of margarine- 80 calories

an oreo crisp 100-calories pack as a desert
obviously 100 calories

a total of 390 for that meal

if i have a snack it is going to be a granola bar (100-110 calories) or a cup of fruit (80 calories)

today is going to be busy.

-sew Dan's pj shirt for his bday
-make dan a bday card
-put songs on my ipod
-make ringtones for the callers on my cell
-shower
-drop off job applications
-practice guitar
-find good recipes online (make a folder with them)
-clean room

that is all that i want to get done today. i am going to be really really busy! So i better go get started.

I'm so happy that I'm at my 20 lb mark! I've never lost this much weight before. I know that i'm still over-weight. but losing this brings me from the obese category to the over-weight category. I'm still excited about getting to my goal. I just need to prepare myself for how to eat when i actually reach my goal. I have plenty of time though!
 
Oh, moving from the obese category to the over weight category was one milestone that meant A LOT to me!!

Good job on those 20 pounds!!
 
dinner: KFC

Crispy twister- 650
fries- 250
100 calorie oreo pack for a desert- 100

total of 1000 for dinner!! but its 6:40 and i wont eat anymore tonight. plus the 390 from lunch = 1390 calories for the day.

excellent!!!
 
Oh I am so pleased for you. What a truly wonderful milestone. Not obese any more!! It is so good that you have managed to turn yourself around. Also 20lbs is heaps - really significant. Well done!! :D :D
 
Congrats on the 20 lbs! I can't wait until I loose 20 pounds! haha :D You're doing awesome!
 
i was happy with my weigh-in day. Today i'm not counting any calories because its my boyfriend's birthday and that is his wish.

I've noticed differences in my eating behaviors since i've been on my diet. I usually am only hungry once a day for a big meal, and i could go without eating for the rest of the day.

i want to get more in shape. I want to be able to walk and jog and run. I am going to sit down and make a list of goals for working out. i wish i had a treadmill.

I'll update later more, but i saw a girl from highschool that was thin to begin with, but she lost a lot more weight. she is so damn skinny now. I want to be like that too. So im going to work a lot harder. its a lot more motivating. i'm giong to make a list to keep myself on track.

happy bday to my danny!
 
:( "Thin" to "damn skinny". *shakes head*

What you want for yourself is much better than that :D - lots of movement and activity and having heaps of energy!! You have done so well! You deserve a wonderful day with your loving boyfriend. :)
 
I didnt count any of my calories yesterday. it was danny's bday and i had chinese food, pizza, cake and ice cream, a quesadilla... i had a whole bunch of crap! But i did make an excel sheet of everyday between now, and when i want to reach my goal on the first of August. I have it set up with every single day, the goal i want to weigh on weigh-in days, my current weight, my total calorie intake for the day, and my total calories burned for the day. I hope it will give a a good overview for how i am doing. Maybe even give me a little kick in the butt.

I hope i can stay on my diet. i'm very stressed out right now. School starts on Monday and i tried telling my father i wanted to move out. But he pretty much said that he'd take my car, the money for school, and everything else away from me. But he wont let me sleep at Dan's house anymore. Which is rediculous. I'm 18, and i shouldnt have such rediculous restrictions anymore. I still dont have another job...And i really really need one. I get myself so worked up over this stuff that i have such bad stomach aches and i dont want to eat. But then when Dan cheers me up...i eat everything because i havent eaten anything yet in the day. i have no energy at all, so i dont even want to exercise. I barely even want to shower. Its getting bad. It would cheer me up if i could just live with Dan. But i'm scared to find out everything else that would happen.

I want to lose weight so badly. But that isnt even on my mind as much as it use to be. I just want to cry and sleep all the time. I really want a job, and i want to be here with Dan all the time. I feel like i'm going to throw up just worrying all the time. nothing cheers me up anymore. I dont want to fall into a hole again.

Another thing is that i hate being at my father's house. when i know that i have to go to my father's i get depressed. I hate being there. Yet i feel like he wont let me leave.

i need to cheer up.. that will be what i try to do today. i will attempt to find something that cheers me up.
 
It's at the bottom of your ticker girl - 20lbs LOST!

You're doing it - it's just one step at a time.

I remember how frustrated I was at your age - there is SO much stress in your life. The only thing I can say is that sometimes, you just have to put your head down and do what needs to be done. If that means coping through living with your dad while in school, you just gotta do it.

Take life's pleasures where they come, and know that change is constant, nothing remains as it is forever. This too will pass. Before you even know it. In the mean time, know that sometimes it's just one day at a time.

Hugs to you,
 
thanks m2m. i just dont know that staying with my dad while i'm in school is a good thing. I think trying to make it without his help would be a good step for me. i just dont want to mess up my life.
 
I'm going insane. i really really really want a job. i want to work at a restaurant. But i highly doubt i'm going to be hired in one until i actually graduate from culinary school. i looked up the cost of my school books this year.. it will only cost me like 45.00. awesome!! i do need uniforms. And they cost about 100.00 for a full uniform. I would need a couple of jackets.. and they are like 50.00.
I'm so stressed. i applied at a bunch of places. Office Depot called me back, and i said i would call them later. but i never did. i dont want the job... but i think i need it. I dont know what to do. i wasnt ever guaranteed the job.. it was just for an interview. maybe i should go? I want to wait for the next chance at a job.

I am going to apply online for as many positions as possible. Tonight i have to go to my mother's house for a little bit.

i had myself some lunch:
celeste pizza: 350 calories
with ranch dressing: 140 calories.
So...490 calories for the day so far.

I'm going to look for more jobs online around me.
 
Go to any interview someone will give you. Look at it this way, it's much easier to find a job when you have one (even if it's one you hate). And even if you don't like the job, you'd be making money. Besides, you don't know that it would be as bad as you think - give it a shot. If you want a job as badly as it sounds, take anything they offer. There's nothing saying you can't keep looking once you have one. Just don't tell them that!
 
thanks txturtlegirl. i just feel awkward because i know that they've tried to call me twice. but the next call i get i am going to jump right on.
 
I was going to ask "why wait? call them now" but then I looked and realized that you're 3 hours ahead of me and it's just after 5 there and anybody who can set up interview appointments is probably either gone or leaving for the day and tomorrow morning would probably be best.

Good luck, sweetie!
 
I just applied to another place. I'm going to call Office Depot tomorrow. They were the ones that previously contacted me. I am leaving for my mother's house soon, so i am going to take a shower and maybe trim some of my hair. I do that every once in a while.

I've still only had 490 calories. no snacking. yey for me. I dont want to go home tomorrow. i hate being at my father's house.

I dont know if i'm going to exercise tonight. I should, but i dont know if i'll have time.

i'll update later. i have to go to my mom's house after the shower.
 
Sounds like you're still hanging in there with your food. Maybe you could find some kind of exercise to make sure you usually can get some no matter where you are. Even when things are making you feel bad, moving for a while will help you feel brighter and better able to cope.

Remember, hard times will pass - you can be thinner after they have or fatter - you are choosing thinner - good for you. :)
 
bmohearn said:
i have to go to my mom's house after the shower.
Click to expand...

What? You don't get me to go anywhere after a shower! I'm asleep all the way!

Oh, your diary looks great btw! Good job on the weight loss so far and good luck getting a job! I have had a handfull by now. I've been lucky to absolutely fall in love with all of my jobs! I hope you get a job you like!!!
 
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