BmOhearn's diary

I made a ton of sushi...but also found out i didn't like it. I thought i did. Maybe a bad batch... i honestly think i just wasn't in the mood for it.

Bad news. i didn't go on my bike ride today. I kept trying..but couldnt get myself to do it. i had a really bad day. Me and my boyfriend were getting on each other's nerves... the girl i've been best friends with since 2nd grade hasn't really been a good friend lately. And she is saying all sorts of crap like "we have grown apart.." "you are less mature then me"... blah blah blah. She has always been the person who was skinnier and prettier then me, but i didn't care cuz we were THE BEST OF FRIENDS. Now i feel like since i have a back bone and won't let her tell me that i'm fat... that she doesnt want to be friends with me. I was feeling like i was the person she kept around her...to make herself seem cooler. Which when i felt like that earlier today... sucked. She was my best friend. I dont know what it is. Over the past couple of months she has just not tried to hang out with me or call me, and i feel like she doesn't care about our friendship. It is just so stupid!! We are working things out right now... we're in the process of trying anyway.

I am going to work out soon. My weight bench exercise, and some tricep dips.

Tomorrow i WILL go on the bike ride. Tomorrow i also have to send my car to a garage to get it fixed. And i have work at 4.

I am so stressed. I probably had about 1700 calories today. I dont feel like listing everything seeing as I really don't remember. But i remember keeping track of the number.

I have to make an exact to-do list for tomorrow... or nothing will get done right. If at all. And i am tired of that happening. Maybe i can do that every night. It would make myself much more organized.

I am so disappointed for not going on my bike-ride.

I am going to go make that awesome list, and then work-out.
 
I made my to-do list, and now i realize that without my little bit of cardio exercise... i get really depressed. So i am going to go out on a walk around my block. its 1 mile. I'm not sure if i'll go around once or twice. But i need to go on the walk.

I snacked on some carrots. at least its healthy snacking right?

Tomorrow. i. need. to. crack. down. on. myself.

No more slipping. I will work my ass off to get to my goal the 1st month. Because if i can reach my 1st month's goal... i know i can reach the rest. I'm really determined. its not even a joke anymore. Its something i really need. Words wouldnt even be able to describe how good i will feel when i am thin, and i have ab definition, and someone tells me i am really thin. So i am using that as motivation.

I am going to google in search of motivating pictures.
 
I have found my motivational pictures. Both of what i do and don't want to look like. I want to be a sexy woman. And i know its in me somewhere...behind all the chips and icecream. hahaha. I will do this. It isn't hard anymore.Well...it is...but its not. I see icecream and chips now...and see grease, fat, and wasted calories.

And i have a goal of putting myself in front of a bunch of people when i lose all my weight. I want to try out for a play... or something to show off all my new confidence.

Not that i have any acting skills. lol.

But I will have something to show off my new confidence.

I am so incredibly motivated. I will not be weak anymore. There is no reason for it. I saw Dr. Phil the other night, and there was a 500lb woman who didn't think she should stop eating the foods she was. She realized she needed to lose. She realized she had a problem...but before she went on the show... she ate 13 cheeseburgers a week. And there was NOTHING in her house except COMPLETE JUNK. there was nothing that even resembled healthy. AT ALL. I don't want that to be me. i want to be strong. I am far from that problem. But I want to defeat my urges to eat junk before they completely control me like that. That is part of my motivation.

I can do this. i can do this. There is no reason for me not reach each and every single one of my goals.
 
I went on a walk. It was only 1 mile. But i definitely made it worth it. I walked to a very fast paced count. not running though. And dan went with me. We are all made up now. No fighting. He saw what i was posting on here about wanting to be skinny, and trying to be strong. He was proud of me. And is still going to help me out. And he is losing weight with me. He is too embarrassed to weigh himself now. he is going to start next tuesday to weigh-in. I also worked out before my walk. lifted the 50 lb bar 20 times. I think i'm going to start doing it in the a.m. and p.m. Just to push myself a bit more. And i did another 10 tricep dips. i need to work on my form though. i am not lowering myself enough. I can feel the work out already though. haha.

well i need to go to bed soon. Its 11pm-ish....and i have to wake up at 8. I want a good night sleep.

Oh yeah. I had Lots of water today! yay
 
Dan sounds sweet. Glad no more fights. Be good, 2 of you! We are "WATCHING"... hahahha.

Hope things goin better with you and yr best frend. Worked things out yet? :)
 
Thanks for caring pinkdolly. : )

Dan and i worked everything out... and yes, he is a sweety. Last night i went to bed before him, and when i woke up he had written me a card with a sweet note on the inside and left it near my bedside.

Me and my best friend have made up. And i'm happy. Just a bunch of stupid things happened that weren't a major deal...but really were in a way. COMPLICATED. But its over with.

I know this wasn't the most proper topic for a weight loss forum...but i figured i needed to get it off my chest... so no one would mind.
 
So i am totally bummed out. I truly have no idea how much i weigh. My scale was cheap...and changes its mind every few seconds. So i am going to spend the money today and buy a really nice one that won't change its mind. haha.

I have work today and have to leave @4:00.

Until then....

I am putting a face-mask on.
Then walking the the corner store and back. Probably a bit over 2 miles all round.
Next its work-out time.
Then its getting ready for work.
Hopefully go get the nice scale i need after that.

After work it is time to work out once again...and then maybe a walk if Dan is up to it.

Yeah... that is pretty much it.
 
bmohearn said:
I made my to-do list, and now i realize that without my little bit of cardio exercise... i get really depressed. So i am going to go out on a walk around my block. its 1 mile. I'm not sure if i'll go around once or twice. But i need to go on the walk.

I snacked on some carrots. at least its healthy snacking right?

...
Click to expand...
I think your idea about the cardio is spot on. It's great that you have the biking option as well now.

No "at least" about it. It's a totally one hundred percent positive thing to do for yourself. Most veges have so few calories you can eat all you want of them, and yet they're fully of so many goodies, and really help a lot as far as feeling satisfied. Having snacks can actually help you lose weight too. :)

bmohearn said:
...

I am so incredibly motivated. I will not be weak anymore. There is no reason for it. I saw Dr. Phil the other night, and there was a 500lb woman who didn't think she should stop eating the foods she was. She realized she needed to lose. She realized she had a problem...but before she went on the show... she ate 13 cheeseburgers a week. And there was NOTHING in her house except COMPLETE JUNK. there was nothing that even resembled healthy. AT ALL. I don't want that to be me. i want to be strong. I am far from that problem. But I want to defeat my urges to eat junk before they completely control me like that. That is part of my motivation.

I can do this. i can do this. There is no reason for me not reach each and every single one of my goals.
Click to expand...
I totally relate to your feeling about the woman you saw on TV. I think a show I saw about some super morbidly obese people was one of the things that helped me change things for myself. I was thinking that it seemed so obvious that they needed to change ... and yet I couldn't really see enough difference between my attitude and theirs - our mental states are a key in this. I see you are very conscious of that.


I'm glad things are going so well with you and Dan. :)
 
bmohearn said:
So i am totally bummed out. I truly have no idea how much i weigh. My scale was cheap...and changes its mind every few seconds. So i am going to spend the money today and buy a really nice one that won't change its mind. haha.

I have work today and have to leave @4:00.

Until then....

I am putting a face-mask on.
Then walking the the corner store and back. Probably a bit over 2 miles all round.
Next its work-out time.
Then its getting ready for work.
Hopefully go get the nice scale i need after that.

After work it is time to work out once again...and then maybe a walk if Dan is up to it.

Yeah... that is pretty much it.
Click to expand...

OMG!!!:eek: My scale is just like that! I can gain 5 lbs in less than a minute!! Then later and I will drop that 5 and lose another couple!! So stupid!! Sounds like a good day you have planned. Hope all goes well!:)
 
BGS-i need a new scale. I don't know what kind to get that won't keep changing though.

I went on my walk with Dan. I guess Dan's mom won't let me use her car to get to work now... so i have no real way of getting there. No one to pick me up or anything. Its messed up.

My walk was a great exercise...even Dan admitted that. haha. I still need to work out. When I was done with my mask... it was past time to go on a walk...so thats what we did. We walked up to the corner store and buy a flavored water. Then we drink it and walk back. Its a great reward system. :)
 
FELICI- When i first saw the woman i was speaking of on tv... i just thought to myself why it could be so hard to stop a pattern like that. And how she could look herself and the mirror and say...just a few more cheeseburgers...and stuff like that. it boggled my mind. Even though i was not as out of control as she was.... when i looked at how she thought about her food, and how i felt about my junk comfort foods.
 
I went out today and bought a nice scale. It cost me $40. Not too bad. Plus i bought some other things. I bought a kit to make a bunch of hemp jewelry, and i bought a kit to make scarfs, hats, mittens... winter stuff. But now i can make some for everyone before winter starts. haha.

Here is what i had today. I dont have calories.

Breakfast: 2 tacos. (weird huh?)
Lunch: a wrap with chicken breast, no skin, with lettuce.
Dinner: 310 calorie cheddar and broccoli soup, and 5 steak tips.

I have another soup for tomorrow's lunch. Its my favorite soup ever. And 310 calories is great!

anyways... I am super excited to have an awesome scale.
 
So i woke up today at about 2pm. haha. Good thing i had nothing to do. Then my mom called and asked me to come french braid her hair for a wedding. She looked so pretty afterwards.

I weighed in this morning at 209.2. Yay.

The half-decent thing about waking up late... i don't have time for cravings. haha.

Around 4:00 I ate cheddar and broccoli soup.-310 calories.

For dinner the fam is having cheeseburgers... i think i'll join them.

The new scale i got, tells you body fat%, water%, and how many calories you need to eat to MAINTAIN your current weight. Mine is like 2500 or something like that. It rocks.

But hopefully dinner is soon. I'm really hungry.
Its crappy outside today. So i havent gone on a walk yet. Maybe later tonight.. and if not, i'll at least lift weights.
 
I ate dinner. I ate A LOT. But i figured i'd try something. I thought maybe if i fill up on dinner (cuz i haven't eaten much all day) that i would possibly not be hungry later tonight.

Here's what i've had.

2 cheese burgers with lettuce, and red onions... (600 calories together)
a bunch of macaroni salad... (i have no idea...i'd say about 300 calories all together)

a small amount of baked beans...(130 calories)

Plus lunch... 310 calorie soup.

total for the day: 1340 for the day. A lousy calorie dinner...but great for the day.

And on a positive note... I didn't eat the chips that were sitting there on the counter already opened. lol. I wanted to... really really really badly. But I figured if i resisted them once... i could do it again. And i ate other foods that had a better nutritional value. Like the pasta salad and beans.

Was that a good idea? I mean... To eat a bunch of pasta salad instead of chips?

And was my dinner decent? i don't really know. It was about 1000 calories i think. (i don't know exactly...i'm estimating from what i saw online.) I thought it was good because I didn't eat much today besides that... but in the long run was it a bad idea to eat like that?
 
Today I have the day off once again. I plan on doing a decent amount of stuff.

I will go on a 45 minute walk...
Trip to Walmart to buy another hook to do my scarf thingy. (i bought a loom set to make scarfs and hats. And i want to finish this one up because i have plenty more to make before winter... and danny wants to try one with me...but i only have one hook.)

I want to do my strength training exercises 2 times today.

My goal today food wise is to kick the chips, cookies, and icecream. I think one day at a time is how i ave to take it.

I was sleeping for breakfast... so i have to plan lunch and dinner.

And i'm all out of ideas. I don't know whats in the house. I will have to check the fridge.

yesterday at dinner i did well by avoiding chips... but afterwards i ate an icecream cone!!! I'm so dumb sometimes. lol. Luckily I didn't gain anything last night.

I still weigh 209.2!

I still have to lose .5lbs per day to make my goal. I'm trying extra hard.
 
So here was my lunch... It was pretty healthy, and it make me pretty full. And it leaves me with enough calories to have a healthy,portioned dinner.

Grilled cheese, a few bites of salad, and a cup of pasta salad.

1 cup of pasta salad- 176
2 slices of wheat bread- 160 calories
2 slices of American cheese- 120 calories
The few bites of salad ( i'm guessing with a portion of honey mustard salad dressing)- 130 calories.

Total for lunch: 586 calories.

I also figured out how many calories i need to take off to lose my 9lbs by the end of the month.

I have to cut my calorie intake by 1000....(to maintain my weight is 2500, so i will eat 1500) and then i need to burn 750 calories by exercise, or whatever.

Not bad. I think i can manage that. I will plan on how to do that in a few minutes. I love doing research on weight loss and exercise stuff.

Right now I also want to try making some more of my scarf... and planning out what other colors i want to make.

I am so motivated this time its unbelievable. I think i can accomplish whatever i choose to. And that is such a good feeling.
 
I have had strep throat for the past few days... so no exercise for me. And i've barely been eating anything. I have been really really sick. But i'm feeling a taad bit better today. I haven't even left the house since tuesday. its saturday now. I just want to get out. I am stressed out beyond belief... but thats ok.

I'm down to 204.4. I'm happy with that. I have done really good this month. I try to keep my boyfriend on the diet track because he's been taking care of me when i'm sick. But all he's been eating is complete and utter CRAP. cheese curls, icecream, soda, mozarella sticks, yadda yadda yadda.

He'll get back on track though... i'll kick his butt.

I'm going to get out today... i have to go shopping, and I have to pick up my car. So there will be at least a tad bit of exercise happening today. Well... thats it for now. I'll update later if i actually eat something.
 
Hi. I'm glad to see you post - though your news isn't all that good. That sounds like one really nasty bug!! At least you are starting to get moving again now. Congratulations on the new weight!! I hope you stay well and can start again with some good food. :)
 
Just popping in to say hello! I am so sorry you have had strep. It's so nasty:(! Glad you are feeling better though! I hope it goes away soon. It is hard to eat well when your sick... unless you can't eat!!! I have been eating bad but that is all on my own. I am glad you have been motivated!! Keep it up and when your feeling better you will kick butt!
 
Thank you so much. I will kick butt mishi!

It is a nasty bug. i am down to 200.4 But thats cuz I haven't been eating. So i will not lower my ticker. I know I will gain a little bit when i start eating again. The medicine I've been on is making me throw up. EEW.

Today I have tried eating a bit. i can only eat about a few bites of something before i start not feeling well... So thats what i'm trying to do.

I hope to get back into the swing of things.
 
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