Hi all, I am a new cohenite- started April 27 but had lurked here 2 weeks prior reading all your great posts which encoraged me to join the cohen movement (i make it sound like a cult
!)
I feel like I should give you a bit of background to how my journey led me to this place. I feel like I have struggled with my weight all my life, but I think I made it that way! I was quite slim (very normal) up until a teen then I yo-yoed with extreme dieting (1 apple and a bit of chicken and maybe a couple of pieces of vege in a whole day- how could I do that to myself!) and exercise (was a ballerina and swimmer- ballet teacher made us swear of dairy unless we wanted to have fat bottoms and we had to write what we ate that day on the board and she would tick or cross it
what a freak!) from a normal 55kg down to 47kg
eek
and up to 72-75kg after school (when alcohol and freedom to eat whatever I wanted came into play!). I lost 13kg on Jenny Craig when I was 22 and sat comfortably at 62kg- photos of me then seem heavy side of healthy- I look really quite nice. I just stupidly always thought I was fat and then lo and behold, in the next 8 yrs I actually became the fat person I always thought I was and put on another 27kg! Isn't the mind is a wonderful thing.....
I started Cohen's at 86.5kg. My goal weight is 55-58kg. I am 161cm tall and am 31 this year. I actually saw a huge difference in the way my body carried the weight in the last 2 years or so- I now really am a fat looking person rather than just "big" or "heavy"- I just think my body fat % (took it yesterday it is about 47%- yes half of me is blubber!) has increased a lot now where it is visable to the naked eye (kind of rippley) and loose. My body looks very soft and squishy and I think a good 20 kilos is in my stomach alone. It is HUGE and overhangs down over my pants. I just hate it!
In fact in the last 6 months I have had two work clients ask me "how far along I was ?" and the other pat my stomach and "say all the best with the birth" It would be funny if it wasn't so shameful!!
It is awful! I just cringe when I think about it. I put that as up there with one of the worse side effects of being fat - this is my list of the other:
- how people say you have such a pretty face, or your hair/dress/shoes/bag/earrings are so nice because they can't say you look beautiful because it isn't true!
- going shopping with size 8 and 12 sisters and being in the change rooms with them
- trying to get dressed for an event and trying absolutely everything on and NOTHING fitting, even your previously bought in desparation "fat pants"
- the extreme panic as summer rolls around - public togs wearing, need I say more???
- chafing
and when it is so bad you can't wear skirts or dresses in summer because by then end of the day you can't walk and have to go to bed with pawpaw ointment slathered on your thighs to stop the pain!
- getting worried if something involves walking up stairs because you know at the top you'll be hot and sweating and panting and nobody else will
- having a red and inflammed belly button as it is permanently closed shut by your fat tummy and never sees the light of day
- wanting to eat all the time and the cycle of binging and guilt and feeling sick from stuffing yourslef with bad food
- looking at old photos when you thought you were fat and knowing that now you are 20kg heavier
- always starting a diet on Monday!
Last year I did Tony Fergusan and lost 7 KG (from 87 to 80) but as you can see I put that all back on! I also hated Tony. I felt like I was putting sugary crappy preservative ridden junky shakes in my system every day and psychologically to me I just felt VERY uncomfortable with doing and paying for that that as I have always been quite a "pure" person (apart from turning a blind eye to beer, wine, hungry jacks, and chips and aioli of course).
Apart from that I am a healthy cook and eat quite well, and by that I mean I eat a lot!!!! I had no idea what a real portion was and I would always go back for 2nds or 3rds when everyone else was full! I shared my theory with my Dad recently (also a great and very keen cook- I inherited that from him, as well as my addictive quite obsessive personality!) that it is so much worse to be a person prone to put on weight who is a good cook because nothing is out of bounds! You can cook yourself anything and know it will taste good! Hence you can get pretty fat off your own cooking. So being a foodie has contributed to my downfall. Plus when I am happy I eat, when I am depressed I eat, I just eat all the time. Anyone relate?

I feel like I should give you a bit of background to how my journey led me to this place. I feel like I have struggled with my weight all my life, but I think I made it that way! I was quite slim (very normal) up until a teen then I yo-yoed with extreme dieting (1 apple and a bit of chicken and maybe a couple of pieces of vege in a whole day- how could I do that to myself!) and exercise (was a ballerina and swimmer- ballet teacher made us swear of dairy unless we wanted to have fat bottoms and we had to write what we ate that day on the board and she would tick or cross it
I started Cohen's at 86.5kg. My goal weight is 55-58kg. I am 161cm tall and am 31 this year. I actually saw a huge difference in the way my body carried the weight in the last 2 years or so- I now really am a fat looking person rather than just "big" or "heavy"- I just think my body fat % (took it yesterday it is about 47%- yes half of me is blubber!) has increased a lot now where it is visable to the naked eye (kind of rippley) and loose. My body looks very soft and squishy and I think a good 20 kilos is in my stomach alone. It is HUGE and overhangs down over my pants. I just hate it!
In fact in the last 6 months I have had two work clients ask me "how far along I was ?" and the other pat my stomach and "say all the best with the birth" It would be funny if it wasn't so shameful!!
- how people say you have such a pretty face, or your hair/dress/shoes/bag/earrings are so nice because they can't say you look beautiful because it isn't true!
- going shopping with size 8 and 12 sisters and being in the change rooms with them
- trying to get dressed for an event and trying absolutely everything on and NOTHING fitting, even your previously bought in desparation "fat pants"
- the extreme panic as summer rolls around - public togs wearing, need I say more???
- chafing

- getting worried if something involves walking up stairs because you know at the top you'll be hot and sweating and panting and nobody else will
- having a red and inflammed belly button as it is permanently closed shut by your fat tummy and never sees the light of day
- wanting to eat all the time and the cycle of binging and guilt and feeling sick from stuffing yourslef with bad food
- looking at old photos when you thought you were fat and knowing that now you are 20kg heavier
- always starting a diet on Monday!
Last year I did Tony Fergusan and lost 7 KG (from 87 to 80) but as you can see I put that all back on! I also hated Tony. I felt like I was putting sugary crappy preservative ridden junky shakes in my system every day and psychologically to me I just felt VERY uncomfortable with doing and paying for that that as I have always been quite a "pure" person (apart from turning a blind eye to beer, wine, hungry jacks, and chips and aioli of course).
Apart from that I am a healthy cook and eat quite well, and by that I mean I eat a lot!!!! I had no idea what a real portion was and I would always go back for 2nds or 3rds when everyone else was full! I shared my theory with my Dad recently (also a great and very keen cook- I inherited that from him, as well as my addictive quite obsessive personality!) that it is so much worse to be a person prone to put on weight who is a good cook because nothing is out of bounds! You can cook yourself anything and know it will taste good! Hence you can get pretty fat off your own cooking. So being a foodie has contributed to my downfall. Plus when I am happy I eat, when I am depressed I eat, I just eat all the time. Anyone relate?