Beginning afresh for the umpteenth time...

underhalfofaj said:
Mike,

I feel that we are people so different that we will not find a reasonable common ground. You are trying to dissuade me into your route or methodology by saying that mine is wrong - and yes, I know the rules of the board, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is a public diary so you may comment, but a few times now I have felt that your sentiments are contrary to something which is positive for me.

Im sorry that I have to do so, because you seem genuinely interested to help, but I must ask you politely, without sarcasm or any other malice to discontinue your interest in my Diary. Im sure you can appreciate that sometimes, peoples views just don't help each other.

The notion of chucking out all bad foods and being exacting with my diet and regime is exactly what has lead me to fall down in the past. I cannot ignore a pattern that I have seen; I must work with it to achieve some success. Since I know there are times when my binging attitude will rear its ugly head, I would rather keep a small stock of slightly-less-better-for-you foods than buying awful foods (not to mention spending the money) and putting me even further behind.

Maybe this logic doesn't work for many people, I don't know. But differences make the world an interesting place.
Click to expand...

I can appreciate that, I just don't want you to fail again. Not everybody can make concrete decisions and stick to it after all it is hard. I read so many diaries here and see so many people that are having a hard time I feel like I can help. For myself I'm really good at making decisions tne moving forward. I realize this isn't the place for me. Some people like to read what they want to hear because it makes them feel good, reality is a much different place.

I wish you the best of luck though. I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and go for it with 100% of your being. No worries, I wont be back.

Mike
 
Well done increasing your exercise time :)

keep your diet in line with what you can live with in the long term, being overly strict leads to binging in the long run on what cold have been had in moderation throughout a more moderate balanced diet.
 
Thank you for being gracious mike, I felt awful having to ask but you can understand Im sure.

Thanks Trusylver Im trying my best :)

Day 3: I record another 1lb of loss since yesterday, this diet is really working well. Fact is houmous and cheese really isnt doing that badly for me at the moment, I will be cutting it down as soon as I can (I'll probably get sick of having it eventually).

I have to go out this morning so I shall not be doing my exercise until later on - eventually I will be doing 2 sessions a day simply because this exercise bike i have is not as intense as I would like. For some reason, the belt system does not provide much resistance - in both instances on Monday and Tuesday, I only just began sweating after 15 minutes. Previously ive had an exercise bike that I began sweating at something like half that time.

But its good for now, it allows me to get used to spending that much time doing the exercise at all. Later on I shall buy a better one.
 
good effort, but remember that even if your not sweating it does not always mean that your not working hard, sweating is not a good guide. It is good that your pushing yourself to do more time while your perceived effort on that particular bike is low.
 
Hey sounds like your doing well so far which is great! Its hard to go cold turkey the way mike has suggested when we are so used to certain habits and patterns of behavior! As long as we use self control, its okay to enjoy the foods we love even if they aren't "healthy". Even if your not exercising as vigorous as you would like it is still possible to lose weight simply by eating sensible so keep that in mind and don't be too hard on yourself!
 
thnkpositive: I feel exactly the same way. the rigidity I feel is probably what made me fall over in the first place all those many times.

Trusylver: Ill bear it in mind, but Id like to get up to something like 40 minutes a session once or twice a day, then I'll see about adding in a weights session 3 times a week for toning. All this is very long term though. :)

Day 4: Measured no change in weight today but am feeling slightly slimmer around the midriff. In the past I have regularly taken measurements of 10 critical dimensions (every monday) and I think I shall start this again so I can track changes beyond simple weight loss. Yesterday I was too busy to do my session on the bike, but that's ok - I won't beat myself up, just make sure I do it today. The diet is still going well and Im liking all of it. I particularly like my dinner, yoghurt with walnuts, a clementine and banana. I do experience quite a bit of hunger later on in the evening so I will need to compensate with lots of water until this subsides.
 
What are these clementines that so many people talk about? It sounds like a biscuit to me, and not very low cal but i have no idea.

Its not surprising you are hungry later on, your dinner is very very light. I find the only way to avoid getting hungry if i am up till say about midnight and i've eaten early, is to go to bed earlier.

I find it easier to quit and resist something than wean myself of it. I find with sugar and food, if i leave it right out of my diet, the taste for it goes really away really quickly. and i also don't have to exercise so much self control as I have less temptation. I guess its an individual thing though.
 
I've just gone back and read mike and your exchange and realise i am in agreement with his approach, though i think i've learnt that not everyone is ready to take this approach.

About Mike, i have my doubts that he was here to lose weight anyway, so I am glad he is gone, though being an unconfronting person as you seem to be, you probably don't like hearing me say that. But i genuinely think Mike was here to sell something rather than to lose weight himself.

If you don't mind, i'd like just to say a few words about binging. I have a long history of diets and their endings too. Also quite a long history of binging and bad eating habits. But i've analysed them too. I guess we all do even if we come to different conclusions.

I think there are different reasons why my earlier diets failed. Often there is a change of circumstances and routine which upsets my good intentions and before long, i am not vigilant anymore and have lost the plot.

Other times, i think i lose weight much too fast and this triggers a hormonal response which makes me crave sweets and makes me want to eat a lot. I think this is the body trying to get the weight back because i lost it too fast.

Actually these are the two main reasons i can identify throughout my life for my diet failures, even if i get to a low weight and i haven't been able to maintain it.

When i am not on a diet, i just binge but have learnt to feel less guilt. The binges were triggered originally by emotional crises. And this became a habit of just bad eating. I got to the point of just thinking about cake, and i'd have to have it. I lost the ability to not want it. So i would drive 10 minutes to a shop to get it at any time of the night. If i had nuts to hand, i lost the ability to stop after a few. I Just had to eat all of them. So i completely lost any abilty to control my eating. If i bought a 2 litre container of icecream, i would eat it all. My father was shocked and disgusted when he saw me do that and it is but I couldn't leave it alone if it was in the freezer. And i didn't care too much that my father thought this though i never made of a habit of doing it in front of other people of course. One tends to binge in private.

I have never found it difficult to quit the bad foods when i started on a diet. Its easy for me to go without sweets day after day once i have made the decision and started the process of dieting and exercise. I believe that if my diet fails, even this time, its not because i have gone without. MY diet is sustainable. I feel i don't need any sweets in my life. Its the other things in my life that i haven't been able to manage in with my diet that will put a stop to all my best intentions . I"ve got some big changes coming up during the next 6 months. It will be interesting to see if i can adapt to each of these situations.

I don't know if this is interesting at all to you or if you'd just prefer me to go away like Mike. But its my experience and how i've interpreted it. Our interpretation of experience is important as the events themselves.

But i respect your choice to manage your diet as you see fit. I know i am doing things in mine that others disapprove of.
 
Please dont misunderstand me, Im not trying to be a forum hitler lol. Of course I welcome other peoples perspective, Including yours fortyfour, and comparing and contrasting is a useful tool. The main thing I disliked about Mike was that his tone was less about comparing and finding common ground, working out differences and learning from it to more like "this is how it should be done." Im a firm believer that everyone is different and so, different approaches will work with different people. You are kind and genuinely interested to help, whatsmore you, like me, appreciate the need for individual methodologies. You have nothing to fear!
 
here are clementines:



they are about 60% of the size of a normal orange, and their juice is much sweeter and less sour (even though the sourness is very slight, you can taste it quite prominently in orange juice).
 
Day 5: Experienced a major setback. My exercise bike is broken... Ive taken the shroud off and theres no way I can repair it. Its so cheap that the resistance is based upon a belt that has simply worn through... I've only used it ten times. My fault for buying a cheap one in the first place.

I guess now its a case of finding what exercise I can do to fill the gap until I can buy a new bike. I think it will take a couple of weeks for me to get the money, so until then I shall have to do a lot of walking. Walking is alright for me, but I feel it doesn't do as much as it could. Im so used to walking its like I can do it in my sleep, even at 330 lbs. More than anything I find it boring... on my bike I can at least listen to my own music.

Im not feeling great. It was going so well... I hope this doesn't trigger a binge.
 
Day 6: I feel a bit better after yesterday, I did have a small binge comparatively and i didn't spend anywhere near as much as usual which is the good thing. I also didn't put any weight on but im going to wait a couple of days for the jury to come back on that.

In order to have the same amount of exercise Im going to have to walk about 2 or 3 hours a day... which to be honest is too much of my time taken away. Its going to be a struggle to meet that when I have other things that need my attention. Ok, weight loss is the most important thing in my life... I need to get this done, and stick with it. But compared to hopping on the exercise bike in my own home for 40 minutes with music i like playing, walking is going to be hard.

I could also look into starting weights early but there is no point toning unless there is some cardio in my opinion.

I don't know what to do for the best but when it comes down to it my options are limited.
 
yes you need the cardio but you should not be putting of strength training while your cutting calories. by strength training in simple terms you are telling your body that you need your metabolically active muscle and forces it to use more of your stored fat than muscle when it needs to get the energy it used to get from excess food.

when you cut calories through either eating less or burn more calories through cardio without strength training you will burn muscle along with the fat.
 
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your exercise bike but i hope you can learn to keep going regardless of the disappointment. We need to learn to see disappointment as an opportunity to find something new rather than a reason to give up. I have had a lifetime of studying this business of disappointment and I have got better at it. Not being able to cope with disappointments is what brings about a lot of depression.

I am not sure what sort of resistance you had going on your bike but walking will burn up a lot of calories and I don't believe you need to do 2-3 hours to get the benefit of it. One hour a day is plenty. I only do about one hour ever second day.

Maybe you just need to walk faster for 40 minutes. I think that would be a good thing to do. HOw fast you can walk will obviously depend on your weight.
 
You just can't win sometimes. Recognising the good advice you've given me, I decided to steel myself into doing as much cardio as i could do. I ended up doing a 2 hour walk - which in itself isnt bad, but the blisters it gave me are.

Now I cant really walk at all.

Lets see what Day 7 brings.
 
You are not the only one with blisters. I"ve got them too and they are not going away as i keep walking every second day. But i bought a new insole for my shoes so its not really getting any worse now. A second pair of socks is a good idea too if you shoes are a bit loose. Or use sports tape on the blister prone areas.
 
Oh I couldn't do that, I will give myself a chance to heal first.

Day 7: The walk however did stand me in great stead, I record a loss of 1.4 lbs since yesterday. I can't now walk though or use my exercise bike so, no cardio today.
 
I can highly recommend a product called second skin for blisters, I use it in my kit to treat blisters on athletes I look after.
 
Thanks for the recommendation Trusylver, I'll look into it if it goes bad again soon. But its healing really well, and despite my immobility yesterday I haven't put on anything. I've kept my total loss from last week of 3.4 lbs. Wohoo!

Day 8: Nothing really to report. I had to get some light supplies to continue my diet (milk, wholemeal bread, etc) and had to make a small journey. My feet did a lot better than I thought, in a couple of days I should be walking again.

My attention thus turned to fixing the problem - my walking shoes are a little tatty and I need to replace them. I shall do that in a couple of weeks when I have more spare cash. I have also bought some good socks for walking in, so hopefully there won't be a repeat performance.

I've looked into sourcing a new exercise bike and a friend of a friend has one going, I've just no way to pay for it. Interested to see where that one will go.
 
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