Before and After in a different light

lovelydovely09

lovelydovely09

New member
Hello everyone, as always this section is the most motivational part of the site. Sooo...I'm asking those who have posted their success to shed some light on the difference between before and after weight loss..as far as life goes.

What changed?

What's slowly changing?

Whats not going anywhere?

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

How are relationships?


I think this is an interesting question for those of us who are striving towards significant weight loss...everybody wants to know if life will really be better. It would be great if you all would share.
 
GREAT questions...I look forward to reading everyone's answers!!!:smash:


lovelydovely09 said:
Hello everyone, as always this section is the most motivational part of the site. Sooo...I'm asking those who have posted their success to shed some light on the difference between before and after weight loss..as far as life goes.

What changed?

What's slowly changing?

Whats not going anywhere?

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

How are relationships?


I think this is an interesting question for those of us who are striving towards significant weight loss...everybody wants to know if life will really be better. It would be great if you all would share.
Click to expand...
 
Hi,

Good post..I read something similar at the start of my journey, and it helped alot.

Ok here goes..

What changed?

Simply...Everything!!! My whole life took a complete U-turn..but I guess the biggest thing that changed for me was my attitude.
I always had a 'loser' attitude..I didnt care about being the best, or doing my best...Im not saying I now want to win at everything (although I kinda do :D ), I just want to be the best I can be..and do the best I can do...

What's slowly changing?

At the moment..my body! I guess It will always be changing, I know I'll never stop exercising, so small changes will (hopefully) always be there.

Whats not going anywhere?

My excess skin..until I have the surgery anyway, which should be within the next month :D

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

My g/f has also adopted a new healthy life, and has lost 84lbs in the last year. My mum lost 28lbs (although she is struggling again recently)

My boss also decided to lose some weight, and dropped around 12lbs, aswell as a colleague who started with me..she lost around 40lbs!!

Socially Im way more comfortable being around large groups..Im more confident in and out of work..and Im basically a happier person..most of the time ;)

How are relationships?

No different really..the same positives and negatives are still there, but I hoped that things wouldnt change to much for me, I was always happy in my relationship, the weight never played a part..and Im still VERY happy :)


I guess my answers arent very inspiring or ground breaking, but Im happy with where Im at and how I got here.

I think its important to remember that getting healthy and losing weight is just as much about the mind as it is the body...

Enjoy the journey, and best of luck to you all!

:seeya:
 
Thanks for your post, I've been waiting to see what someone had to say. I am starting at a pretty large number, so for me it's not a small change...this change should be LIFE CHANGING. To go from not fitting anywhere, to fitting in everywhere, will be wonderful. Thanks again, it's nice to see that the work is very well worth it. I can't wait to get down to a reasonable size! 46lbs down so far!
 
workingtobethin said:
Thanks for your post, I've been waiting to see what someone had to say. I am starting at a pretty large number, so for me it's not a small change...this change should be LIFE CHANGING. To go from not fitting anywhere, to fitting in everywhere, will be wonderful. Thanks again, it's nice to see that the work is very well worth it. I can't wait to get down to a reasonable size! 46lbs down so far!
Click to expand...

Huge congrats on the 46lbs!!

Good luck with the rest, Im sure you'll be back here answering the original post in no time ;)
 
What changed? Well, in general my life is the same. I still get up early, work all day and do the same things. I'm more active now, and a workout of at least 30 minutes is included five days a week.

What's slowly changing? My attitude about myself. I started at over 220 and I'm now 140. My sense of self, thoughts on what I look like and my self-esteem are all out of whack. When I picture myself in my mind, I see me 80 or so pounds ago, not the way I am now. I also have some self-esteem issues I'm working though. I was confident and actually LIKED the way parts of my body looked before, and they've undergone a dramatic change (lots of extra saggy skin in some places). I'm having to get used to the new me, and it's taking more time than I thought. Oh, and I've entirely forgotten how to dress myself at a lower weight. Shopping scares me, but a little more retail therapy will cure that one... :biggrinjester:

Whats not going anywhere? My daily workouts, no matter how bored I get with them. Also, unfortunately, all the chocolate my co-workers keep bringing up here...so my willpower needs to kick back in!!

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I get a variety of comments each day. From "Wow you look great" to "Oh my gosh what's the matter are you sick!?" From "What can I do to look like you, how'd you do it?" to "You've GOT to STOP losing weight! You look bad!" I've got one co-worker who's insanely jealous and has started a rumor that my weight loss came through surgery when it didn't, and another that keeps trying to feed me bad things. My husband likes the changes, but can't understand why I'm self-conscious now. My sister makes off-hand comments about how I "must have been anorexic" to lose this much, and my dad just worries I've lost too much (I haven't).

How are relationships? There's actually a little strain on my relationship with my husband. I've gotten so self-conscious about the extra sagging skin that it's affecting parts of our relationship. I tell him it's a problem with MY mind, and not HIM, and I just hope he gets it (and I work through it),
 
SyNyStEr14 said:
Hi,

Good post..I read something similar at the start of my journey, and it helped alot.

Ok here goes..

What changed?

Simply...Everything!!! My whole life took a complete U-turn..but I guess the biggest thing that changed for me was my attitude.
I always had a 'loser' attitude..I didnt care about being the best, or doing my best...Im not saying I now want to win at everything (although I kinda do :D ), I just want to be the best I can be..and do the best I can do...

What's slowly changing?

At the moment..my body! I guess It will always be changing, I know I'll never stop exercising, so small changes will (hopefully) always be there.

Whats not going anywhere?

My excess skin..until I have the surgery anyway, which should be within the next month :D

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

My g/f has also adopted a new healthy life, and has lost 84lbs in the last year. My mum lost 28lbs (although she is struggling again recently)

My boss also decided to lose some weight, and dropped around 12lbs, aswell as a colleague who started with me..she lost around 40lbs!!

Socially Im way more comfortable being around large groups..Im more confident in and out of work..and Im basically a happier person..most of the time ;)

How are relationships?

No different really..the same positives and negatives are still there, but I hoped that things wouldnt change to much for me, I was always happy in my relationship, the weight never played a part..and Im still VERY happy :)


I guess my answers arent very inspiring or ground breaking, but Im happy with where Im at and how I got here.

I think its important to remember that getting healthy and losing weight is just as much about the mind as it is the body...

Enjoy the journey, and best of luck to you all!

:seeya:
Click to expand...

your answers were very inspiring! any details help in the mind of someone who's trying to get where you already are at the moment. I think its great that you're such an inspiration to the people around you, I hope my loss will strike a nerve in some of my close friends and family as well.
 
What changed? First thing that changed is my diet without a doubt. First thing I do not touch any kind of soda pop anymore...I used to drink Coca Cola like there was no tomorrow. Now I strictly drink water. I do drink the occasional smoothie and daily V8 juice now and again for a treat. I also am more conscious of what I eat and try not to fill myself with garbage anymore. Of course there are occasions when I eat poorly but I feel guilty about it to the point that I don't really want to do it again lol. I am constantly making healthier choices when I choose food now intentionally or unintentionally. The next thing that changed is I work out a lot more now. I try to work out at least 3-5 days a week but lately I've been workout out 6-7 days. I have been feeling much better too...I used to get a lot of headaches but since I've started working out I've maybe gotten 1-2 total! So all in all I am feeling much better!

What's slowly changing? I would say that the thing that's changing the slowest are the people around me getting used to me being thinner. Many are wanting to "fatten me up" because of my weight loss. I guess they will take time to get used to it!

Whats not going anywhere? I'm still having a hard time getting rid of some belly fat. Right now I am slowly starting to see improvement since I've been working out harder but it's still taking time.

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc. The only difference I would say is that I get comments from people that I either "look great" or I am getting "too skinny". There is no happy medium here. The positive people will always make positive comments and the negative people will make negative ones. It goes with the territory I guess. I just get annoyed when people think I'm sick because I've lost a good chunk of weight.

How are relationships? I've experienced no difference in my relationship really with the exception of my wife getting used to my new lifestyle changes.
 
Last edited:
MindiK said:
What changed? Well, in general my life is the same. I still get up early, work all day and do the same things. I'm more active now, and a workout of at least 30 minutes is included five days a week.

What's slowly changing? My attitude about myself. I started at over 220 and I'm now 140. My sense of self, thoughts on what I look like and my self-esteem are all out of whack. When I picture myself in my mind, I see me 80 or so pounds ago, not the way I am now. I also have some self-esteem issues I'm working though. I was confident and actually LIKED the way parts of my body looked before, and they've undergone a dramatic change (lots of extra saggy skin in some places). I'm having to get used to the new me, and it's taking more time than I thought. Oh, and I've entirely forgotten how to dress myself at a lower weight. Shopping scares me, but a little more retail therapy will cure that one... :biggrinjester:

Whats not going anywhere? My daily workouts, no matter how bored I get with them. Also, unfortunately, all the chocolate my co-workers keep bringing up here...so my willpower needs to kick back in!!

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I get a variety of comments each day. From "Wow you look great" to "Oh my gosh what's the matter are you sick!?" From "What can I do to look like you, how'd you do it?" to "You've GOT to STOP losing weight! You look bad!" I've got one co-worker who's insanely jealous and has started a rumor that my weight loss came through surgery when it didn't, and another that keeps trying to feed me bad things. My husband likes the changes, but can't understand why I'm self-conscious now. My sister makes off-hand comments about how I "must have been anorexic" to lose this much, and my dad just worries I've lost too much (I haven't).

How are relationships? There's actually a little strain on my relationship with my husband. I've gotten so self-conscious about the extra sagging skin that it's affecting parts of our relationship. I tell him it's a problem with MY mind, and not HIM, and I just hope he gets it (and I work through it),
Click to expand...

oh my. Your response really hit a nerve...I can imagine those who will say I lost too much or that I'm doing too much. I can already see some of my friends trying to give me unhealthy food and cracking starvation jokes when I deny it lol. Sadly, I can see some members in my family who are used to calling me big girl, my little big neice, biggie, and other names that are not supposed to be harmful, actually saying harmful things once the weight is gone. My biggest fear is that even with the weight loss..ill still be treated like the fat girl, and Ill still feel like the fat friend/fat sister.

Thank you for sharing what you go through. I appreciated it alot.
 
What changed?

Not much to be honest. Some things are easier, like running after a bus, or getting out of the car. But nothing in the bigger picture. I am more active, certainly, more aware of myself, but also a lot more critical and harsh on myself.

What's slowly changing?

My opinion about myself and the people around me. Unfortunately, it's not changing for the better. The more weight I lose, the more I doubt my place in life, feel as if I don't really belong. I know it sounds horrible, but I know I could do so much better than what I've got, and with that comes the realisation that I am stuck here.

Whats not going anywhere?

My body. To me it's still fat and disgusting. I'm afraid it will take a long time until I accept that there are any changes. I'm still frustrated easily, even more than before. My mood swings are getting to a point where they are frightening even myself.

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

I've got next to no contact to anybody. My husband's family doesn't care one way or the other, my parents haven't seen me in 6 months so they don't know what I look like. None of my friends knows I am losing weight.

How are relationships?

Going down the drain. Like before, the more weight I lose, the more I feel that I don't belong into this relationship. When we got together, all we had in common was being fat, lazy, and loving to eat. I was happy to sit in front of the computer all day, stuffing my face with chocolate. I am not anymore, I want to go out and do stuff. My husband doesn't, and arguments are getting worse if I go out and do stuff on my own.

I'm still sticking with it. I finally realised that I am the most important person in my life. I'm not doing stuff for others anymore, for the first time in my life I am taking the liberty of being selfish. That's probably the best thing that happened so far.
 
San said:
What changed?

Not much to be honest. Some things are easier, like running after a bus, or getting out of the car. But nothing in the bigger picture. I am more active, certainly, more aware of myself, but also a lot more critical and harsh on myself.

What's slowly changing?

My opinion about myself and the people around me. Unfortunately, it's not changing for the better. The more weight I lose, the more I doubt my place in life, feel as if I don't really belong. I know it sounds horrible, but I know I could do so much better than what I've got, and with that comes the realisation that I am stuck here.

Whats not going anywhere?

My body. To me it's still fat and disgusting. I'm afraid it will take a long time until I accept that there are any changes. I'm still frustrated easily, even more than before. My mood swings are getting to a point where they are frightening even myself.

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.

I've got next to no contact to anybody. My husband's family doesn't care one way or the other, my parents haven't seen me in 6 months so they don't know what I look like. None of my friends knows I am losing weight.

How are relationships?

Going down the drain. Like before, the more weight I lose, the more I feel that I don't belong into this relationship. When we got together, all we had in common was being fat, lazy, and loving to eat. I was happy to sit in front of the computer all day, stuffing my face with chocolate. I am not anymore, I want to go out and do stuff. My husband doesn't, and arguments are getting worse if I go out and do stuff on my own.

I'm still sticking with it. I finally realised that I am the most important person in my life. I'm not doing stuff for others anymore, for the first time in my life I am taking the liberty of being selfish. That's probably the best thing that happened so far.
Click to expand...

I think you just helped a lot of onlookers out! Until you all started posting, I seriously thought weight loss was going to be perfect for my life - with no problems involved. But reading the responses I see that I need to keep my hopes a little more realistic, so I'll be prepared to deal with whatever may come. I really hope everything works out for you...if you worked that weight off you can work your problems out just as well!
 
What changed?I agree with Synester, everything has changed. I love doing a lot of the things i couldnt do while i was at my highest weight. I couldnt hike, go to Sox games, play on the floor with my kids. Just, everything has changed

What's slowly changing?
My mind. I sometimes see myself as the obese person that i was. I forget that i have no problem "fitting" into places i couldn't fit into before.

Whats not going anywhere?
This new lifestyle. I love it. Mentally i just feel great. Sure i have my bad days but the are getting fewer and far between.

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I'm told I am more confident. (although i dont see it.) I dont know if it's my friends that respect me more or i just respect myself more. Probably a little of both.


How are relationships?Great, couldnt be better. I feel so much closer to my wife. Both literally (she can now put her arms around me) and in spirit. It's a great feeling.
 
lovelydovely09 said:
I think you just helped a lot of onlookers out! Until you all started posting, I seriously thought weight loss was going to be perfect for my life - with no problems involved. But reading the responses I see that I need to keep my hopes a little more realistic, so I'll be prepared to deal with whatever may come. I really hope everything works out for you...if you worked that weight off you can work your problems out just as well!
Click to expand...

I thought the same thing. Lose the pounds, be happy.

Doesn't work like that unfortunately. You need to keep working on things, every day. Being slim(mer) doesn't automatically mean that your life will be perfect.

BUT...it will make it better. Even if my other post didn't really sound like it. Losing the weight is giving me a new perspective on life, and on all the other things that are wrong. And it's giving me the energy to deal with them, so yeah....even if it doesn't look like it at times, it will make a big difference for the better in the long run.
 
Yeah, losing weight is definitely not an "end all" for all of life's problems that's for sure. It's nice to think that it will be but it's not by any means.

Does it IMPROVE your quality of life? Yes, very much so and I highly recommend it to anyone! Does it make you healthier? Oh yeah! Does it help with your confidence level? For sure!

But it isn't going to magically make your life instantly better although we would like it to. It's a slow process which you improve one day at a time instead of magically waking up one day and having the perfect life.

But losing the weight makes your body feel oh so much better and confidence! As long as you feel good that is the single MOST important thing! :iagree:
 
lovelydovely09 said:
I think you just helped a lot of onlookers out! Until you all started posting, I seriously thought weight loss was going to be perfect for my life - with no problems involved. But reading the responses I see that I need to keep my hopes a little more realistic, so I'll be prepared to deal with whatever may come. I really hope everything works out for you...if you worked that weight off you can work your problems out just as well!
Click to expand...

I thought the same thing...that being thinner would make everything right and perfect. I feel better, physically, for the most part. However, I have had some physical issues I never had before the losses. I'm now borderline hypoglycemic and have issues with my blood pressure dropping too low a lot of times. My problems are mostly with my mind and mental state catching up with the state of my body. It'll all work out eventually!
 
i hate when JEALOUS people make rude comments about the weight loss...they must really have bad self esteem if they can't handle someone being able to change themselves for the better...must be because they can't!

I think the worst thing I have going on is the FEAR of losing weight?!?! I mean I dunno what I fear? Therapy time:biggrinjester:
 
What changed? I think the biggest thing that has changed for me is my attitude about myself. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to look good. I still struggle with this, just not as much as I did when i was just sitting around doing nothing but complaining. Also my eating habits and the exercise. Now if I miss a day of exercise I am a grump.

What's slowly changing?
Other then my body........... Again my attitude about myself.

Whats not going anywhere?
My want to have a slim fit body. I am no longer interested in just losing weight I am excited about my little tricep muscle that I have gotten and about that little muscle near the ankle on the outside of my leg that one is pretty cool too. PLUS the girls are getting a little perkyer and that is way way cool.

How is life different socially? Family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I have more confidence. I no longer want to be in the back ground and I wonder once I lose the rest of this baggage where my life will take me.


How are relationships?
Well this is a hard one. My husband has always been heavy since he was a little kid and has no desire (or maybe he is scared) to change. I am talking he is probably 200 to 250 over weight. So with my losing weight and being excited and showing him my new found tricep,leg and chest muscles he has kinda withdrawn from me. The thing is I am still me, and he is still him that has not changed. I know that misery loves company but I no longer want to be misery's fat company. I just know this is a hard hard situation. I am hoping with me changing me and turning around and running the other direction that maybe he will want to catch up.
 
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