Becoming Chelsey

ChelsterBelster

ChelsterBelster

New member
'Lo, my name is Chelsey.

Like so many others, I've been heavier since I was just a tot.

I've attempted and failed to lose weight for most of my life. I actually began losing weight last year around April/May. Since then I've lost 70 pounds and managed to maintain 173 for about 7-8 months.

I guess I never realized losing 70 pounds was such a big accomplishment. The unhappiness I felt with not being where I want to be has blinded me from seeing what I have achieved. It wasn't until a couple of days ago, on this forum actually, that it really dawned on me. (So thanks forum supporters!)

My parents are supportive, but they never wanted to acknowledge the fact that their daughter was borderline morbidly obese. They never attempted to change my eating habits as I grew up and just let it go on. I don't put blame on them, mind you, but growing up I never comprehended the harm physically and emotionally that I was doing to myself. As I'm sure, most of us never can.

I've been hesitating with these last 40-60 pounds (unsure what'll suit me best). I think most of it is the fact the last bit is always harder to lose. I think I've been purposely holding back. I'm pretty and I know it, but in comparison to other girls I've found that I'm to be remembered as the 'fat one'. There's so much to me and I'm not going to let me being bigger hold me back anymore. I'm simply just not going to be "bigger" at all. I'm not going to let my weight determine what guys I should talk to. I want to talk to all of them and Gawddamnit, I will. No, no. Scratch that. I want them to talk to me. Girls too. ;]

Anyway, I'm fed up with not being happy with myself completely. This diary is coming along for the rest of the journey.
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Congrats on losing 70lbs!!! That is indeed a HUGE accomplishment.

You've made some very important and key realizations. I'm glad you're doing this for yourself!

How do you plan on losing the remaining weight? How often do you workout?

You're more than halfway there and I know you're going to succeed. We're all here for you until you get to the end!
 
Thank you, gaiz! <3 It means a lot to me and it feels good to know I have support.


I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I don't stop myself from eating foods I like, chocolate included. I just eat much less of it. When I go eat with a group of friends I choose a salad or ask for the sandwich without the buns. I get funny looks for that and my friends pick on me, but hey, gotta do what I gotta do.



Today I had Publix Greenwise sushi a piece of pizza and some m&m's. Not the best today, but not terrible either. I think I had salads all day yesterday.
 
I never thought that trying to better myself would affect my personal relationships. I've been trying new things for fun. Like, playing racquetball.

In the past my idea of having fun was sitting back and watching a movie after getting blazed, followed by a munchie run, and repeat. Maybe a trip to the mall.

I've quit smoking since school's been more demanding lately. I still make routine trips to the mall and enjoy watching a movie with my friends, but I've been trying to do more active things. When we talk about it, my friends are all for it. Then when I actually try and make these plans happen, they fall off the face of the Earth.

I've been attempting make new friends that are not only open to my new ideas of fun, but will actually do them with me. One of my friends, A, found out that I made plans with a girl from school and asks accusingly, "why didn't you ask me?" so, I tell A that every time I try and ask him to go with me he's suddenly busy. I mean suddenly too. I'm sure if I had asked A to come to a movie with me he would've made time. It's just irritating.

Another one of my friends told me that I act different since losing weight. Well, yeah. Drastic changes to ones lifestyle can do that. I asked, "Is it a bad different?" and she said no, it was just like being around someone else. I know I've changed. Like, in the way I hold myself, in the way approach people and what not. But that's because I don't feel the need to inhibit myself. I'm not obnoxious or rude, I'm just proud of myself and I've been embracing it.

I don't know how to take what she said since she's been so vague and distant. I talked about it with my aunt who told me she was more than likely jealous of me. I immediately thought that was absurd. I'm not jealousy conducive, nor have I ever been. My aunt insisted that her being my friend doesn't make her void of feeling jealousy at my starting to look better and not just seeing me as her friend, but perhaps as competition.

I guess anythings possible. I've just never been able to think of myself as making other girls jealous. Especially any of my friends.​
 
I lost 3 pounds. Although it's not the ten pounds I wanted to lose, it's still less off my big behind.

My boyfriends out of town so I've been working out a lot more. Which, annoys me. I need this type of motivation even when he's here. I really need to be committed like this all the time. My 21st birthday is around the corner and I really don't want to be fat when that day comes. Maybe not the hard-body I dream of being, but not fat.

I just gotta keep it up and I'll be fine.
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Been awhile. Big changes and then no new changes.



I had lost my job for awhile and was only going to school. I was riding my bike to and from classes since my car broke down completely. It was good though and I had been losing weight.



I got a job recently. At a gym. Then saved up enough for a scooter for faster transportation. I put back on some pounds and weigh 175. As depressing as that is, I haven't fallen off my horse. I just need a serious reality check. So I'm giving myself one.



1) I'm worth it.



2) Bitch, moan, and groan all I want, the weight isn't going to vanish by magic. I have to put forth the effort and keep it up.



3) I have to go about this in a smart way. Convincing myself not to eat for a day to "make up" for downfalls is unhealthy and will only make it harder on myself.



4) This will take time. I have to quit expecting faster results.



5) I work at a fucking gym. There is no excuse for me not to use it.



6) In the end, everything will be well worth it.



My new goal is to lose 15 pounds in two months. I think that's realistic.



I know I can do this. I know I can. I just have to do it and do it right and not get discouraged so easily when things don't work my way.
 
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