because i'm worth it!! (aren't we all??!)
- Thread starter baglady2713
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baglady2713
New member
It looks like ya realy motivatedand i understand the dedication needed when it comes to kids with special needs, 2 of my sons have ASD.
really??! i mean don't get me wrong i want to be!! i soooooooo want to lose weight & be healthier blahblahblah but having a bit (!) of a problem summoning up enough willpower to resist the 'naughty' foods!!
we all know how to get from A to B in theory ...not exactly rocket science is it?? eat less empty calorific food ie junk food & move your butt more (have to move it to lose it LOL) but its the actual doing it thats the problem!!
the thing is i don't only eat when i'm hungry. i eat for other reasons...
for eg if i'm really upset or feeling a little low...all my wonderful postive thoughts of & for motivation fly out the window...or at least my head!! & i eat!! & not the good stuff either!! if i'm feeling tired or tearful its not a yogurt or piece of fruit i reach for!!! its devil food LOL choccies/crisps etc...
yesterday 'good' example...out with finn (my 8yr old who has autism) & my neice. we went for a walk on the beach & then the pier...finn likes to run..a lot!! as we head back up the pier he starts to run very very fast away from us. i was carrying two bags (we had a winter beach picnic
) so i told my neice to catch up with him which wasn't that easy!! anyway as she reaches him a fussy older woman grabs hold of him??! telling him to stop.finn doesn't like ppl touching him at the best of times so he immediatley went into meltdown mode...kicking out & screaming. of course they were straight ahead of me so it was all playing out in front of me as i ran up to them(knackered...yet another reason to get fit!!) i was so annoyed at her & yet she had the cheek to have a face like thunder at me b/c i wasn't telling him offto her liking??! she even grabbed my arm!! i swear to god if she hadn't been in her 60's & i wasn't so busy calming finn down i think i'd have done more than grab her blummin arm!!!
even though at the time i did manage to put her straight...explaining he was autistic & she'd bascially freaked him out by suddenly getting hold of him/
raising her voice to him & trying to get him to talk/look at her...afterwards i felt a little upset...not first time a meltdown perceived by meddlesome passersby as 'just' naughtiness...they are always surprised when i look them directly in the eye & just say 'yes?? can i help you??' i wish ppl would realise that if they can't help in such a situation just walk on...don't stare or mutter about it!! believe me the parent concerned will be stressed enough!! LOL
anyway so what d'you think i did to comfort myself in place of a reassuring hug like i gave finn??!! mcdonalds!! spicy veggie wrap!! why?? b/c it felt soooo good!! plus it served to distract finn & lift the mood...oh god am i a lost cause??!!
i mean i'm aware i'm doing it (even at the time...i don't eat in a food fog!!) & i really really want to stop...but i can't/won't/don't??!! i must be weak!! even as i type that i want to slap myself silly!! as i'm not weak at all (emotional at times, opinionated & passionate & yes i can be a bit moody...a handful really!! LOL but not weak!!)
it reminds me of a scene in 'midnight run' when charles grodin's character is quizzing robert de niro's charcater as to why he continues to do things that he knows aren't good for him...smoking/eating red meat etc...& in answer he says b/c it feels/tastes good!! ahhhhh so very true!!
WEAK!? no its all in you head...
first off, it took three pages to find you, which i am changing now...
second, don't beat yourself up about it. its not a fast process, and not everyone can just "change" for the better. if that were the case, this forum wouldn't exist because we all would be able to just change our lifestyle and lose it quick. I know i seem like i got all my eggs in a basket, and i do, but it took almost 2 years to get there. I joined my gym 2 years ago, and only now have i been using it the way i need to. Only now i eat like i am supposed to. you see what i am saying. Its a process. just know that you can do better, is better than making excuses of why you aren't. it'll come. you really have to trust yourself. You came on this forum because you want to treat yourself better, and you felt you couldn't do it alone. You're not. we are all struggling, wish and dealing with life at the same time. It difficult, but as long as you keep forward one step at a time, however many steps you take to get to that goal. try giving yourself to look forward too, and don't let anything stop you from getting there (sans the children). I believe in you, even if you don't. You will be surprised at what you body can do, when it is in sync with your mind.
On another note. when you get emotional, try doing a workout to relieve the stress instead of eating. i don't know what you have access too, but try running a little or punching a bag or something to wear you down and relax you, with out adding bulge to you. I hope this helps.
first off, it took three pages to find you, which i am changing now...
second, don't beat yourself up about it. its not a fast process, and not everyone can just "change" for the better. if that were the case, this forum wouldn't exist because we all would be able to just change our lifestyle and lose it quick. I know i seem like i got all my eggs in a basket, and i do, but it took almost 2 years to get there. I joined my gym 2 years ago, and only now have i been using it the way i need to. Only now i eat like i am supposed to. you see what i am saying. Its a process. just know that you can do better, is better than making excuses of why you aren't. it'll come. you really have to trust yourself. You came on this forum because you want to treat yourself better, and you felt you couldn't do it alone. You're not. we are all struggling, wish and dealing with life at the same time. It difficult, but as long as you keep forward one step at a time, however many steps you take to get to that goal. try giving yourself to look forward too, and don't let anything stop you from getting there (sans the children). I believe in you, even if you don't. You will be surprised at what you body can do, when it is in sync with your mind.
On another note. when you get emotional, try doing a workout to relieve the stress instead of eating. i don't know what you have access too, but try running a little or punching a bag or something to wear you down and relax you, with out adding bulge to you. I hope this helps.
baglady2713
New member
kureransu...
thank you so much for taking the time to write that for me...
with your words in mind i will try not to be too hard on myself for not being able to change my habits as quickly as i'd like to...& i will try to fight my lazygirlitis one day at a time!!
thank you so much for taking the time to write that for me...
with your words in mind i will try not to be too hard on myself for not being able to change my habits as quickly as i'd like to...& i will try to fight my lazygirlitis one day at a time!!
baglady2713
New member
a sweet (sad?!) song for a drizzly grey day...
hands up in the air for this one & sway!! oh & swing those hips like i am...'come on get crazy with me'!! i do like a little dance...
hands up in the air for this one & sway!! oh & swing those hips like i am...'come on get crazy with me'!!
i do like a little dance...
baglady2713
New member
butterflies...
if you can find meaning in life then you will want to live no matter how bad your circumstances...
watched 'the diving bell & the buttefly' last night about a man who at 43 suffered a massive stroke. when he woke up twenty days later, he found he was entirely speechless; he could only blink his left eyelid. This rare condition is called Locked-in Syndrome, a condition wherein the mental faculties are intact but the entire body is paralyzed.
Despite his condition, he wrote the book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by blinking when the correct letter was reached by a person slowly reciting the alphabet over and over again. Bauby had to compose and edit the book entirely in his head, and convey it one letter at a time...wow!! that took some self will and determination...not just to give up & sink into depression & retire from life altogether. but he still believed he had a purpose and that life was still expecting something from him...& that he had something to give.
i read the book some years ago. in the movie a man who had been taken hostage & kept in a small cell visits him. the man compares baubys state of being locked-in/a hostage in his own body to his own time in captivity against his will. it made me think...how i am keeping my own self & my sparkling wit & personality (hahaha) hostage to some degree... locked in a body i don't want or recognise...refusing party invites/nights out as i feel uncomfortable with myself at this weight (i maybe pudgey...but still have my vanity LOL) of course its not even my poor bods fault its doing its best to function depite being over loaded with food (the bad stuff!!) at times...my mind has a lot to answer for...esp the little voices in my head that goad me on to eat...& have me believe that the choccie biscuits really are calling my name...amanda eat me eat me now!!! very 'little shop of horrors'!!
if you can find meaning in life then you will want to live no matter how bad your circumstances...
watched 'the diving bell & the buttefly' last night about a man who at 43 suffered a massive stroke. when he woke up twenty days later, he found he was entirely speechless; he could only blink his left eyelid. This rare condition is called Locked-in Syndrome, a condition wherein the mental faculties are intact but the entire body is paralyzed.
Despite his condition, he wrote the book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by blinking when the correct letter was reached by a person slowly reciting the alphabet over and over again. Bauby had to compose and edit the book entirely in his head, and convey it one letter at a time...wow!! that took some self will and determination...not just to give up & sink into depression & retire from life altogether. but he still believed he had a purpose and that life was still expecting something from him...& that he had something to give.
i read the book some years ago. in the movie a man who had been taken hostage & kept in a small cell visits him. the man compares baubys state of being locked-in/a hostage in his own body to his own time in captivity against his will. it made me think...how i am keeping my own self & my sparkling wit & personality (hahaha) hostage to some degree... locked in a body i don't want or recognise...refusing party invites/nights out as i feel uncomfortable with myself at this weight (i maybe pudgey...but still have my vanity LOL) of course its not even my poor bods fault its doing its best to function depite being over loaded with food (the bad stuff!!) at times...my mind has a lot to answer for...esp the little voices in my head that goad me on to eat...& have me believe that the choccie biscuits really are calling my name...amanda eat me eat me now!!! very 'little shop of horrors'!!
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baglady2713
New member
another little quote i've picked up somewhere...
if he knows the 'why' in his life he will not be put off by the 'how'...
put that in someone elses diary yesterday i think but it seems so relevent to my situation right now putting it in mine too. i know the 'why' - want to lose weight for health/fitness & to feel & look fab!! i also know the 'how' - of how to do it...so was thinking why am i finding it so hard to do what i want to do?? it came to me...sabotage!!! those voices again (no not 'those 'voices' i am slightly ditsy & two sheets to the wind at times...but not certifiable!! LOL)
have to be mindful at all times if poss as my voices/unconscious will try to tempt me to eat/to keep me as i am/to stick to old habits...b/c of course they've worked for me in the past... stressed?? i ate...upset?? i ate...feeling overwhelmed or had a bad day/night with finn?? i ate...
food was instant gratification/instant comfort...but i choose a different way of being now. food may have helped me in the past but now i choose to be healthy so i need to ditch the old habits & the weight gained through them...
food does not control me!!
i am in control of what i eat!!
if he knows the 'why' in his life he will not be put off by the 'how'...
put that in someone elses diary yesterday i think but it seems so relevent to my situation right now putting it in mine too. i know the 'why' - want to lose weight for health/fitness & to feel & look fab!! i also know the 'how' - of how to do it...so was thinking why am i finding it so hard to do what i want to do?? it came to me...sabotage!!! those voices again (no not 'those 'voices' i am slightly ditsy & two sheets to the wind at times...but not certifiable!! LOL)
have to be mindful at all times if poss as my voices/unconscious will try to tempt me to eat/to keep me as i am/to stick to old habits...b/c of course they've worked for me in the past... stressed?? i ate...upset?? i ate...feeling overwhelmed or had a bad day/night with finn?? i ate...
food was instant gratification/instant comfort...but i choose a different way of being now. food may have helped me in the past but now i choose to be healthy so i need to ditch the old habits & the weight gained through them...
food does not control me!!
i am in control of what i eat!!
baglady2713
New member
decided i need a man...
a big burly one who'll take no nonsense or excuses...& say 'baglady lets go!! now!!'...then cart me off in his big burly arms...
to the gym!!
(why what were you thinking i meant??! mind out of the gutter!! now!! LOL)
a big burly one who'll take no nonsense or excuses...& say 'baglady lets go!! now!!'...then cart me off in his big burly arms...
to the gym!!
(why what were you thinking i meant??! mind out of the gutter!! now!! LOL)
baglady2713
New member
ooooooh i do like a man to be in control...LOL
no wait...lets revise that for the sisterhood & all...
so...i like a man to be in control at 'certain' times...is that ok??!
oh who am i kidding with the blush smilie??! who here thinks i'm really blushing?? silence...& not a raised hand in sight
i must not flirt with the boys
i must not flirt with the boys
i must not flirt with the boys
baglady2713
New member
schwa re quorn...
you might get different things in the states than here in uk. never seen those cutlets you mentioned. though the quorn sausages are really nice. i get the quorn mince & quorn 'chicken' pieces. i do all kinds with them...thai currys/sweet & sour stir frys/spagbol/veggie chilli/lasagne etc...& my son & nephew who are not veggies eat & enjoy the meals i make with quorn too.
i serve the above with wholewheat pasta/brown rice or bake potatoes.
if you want any detailed veggie recipes let me know & i'll pm you them...i'm sure you won't need them though as i'm sure you're a much better cook than i am!!
you might get different things in the states than here in uk. never seen those cutlets you mentioned. though the quorn sausages are really nice. i get the quorn mince & quorn 'chicken' pieces. i do all kinds with them...thai currys/sweet & sour stir frys/spagbol/veggie chilli/lasagne etc...& my son & nephew who are not veggies eat & enjoy the meals i make with quorn too.
i serve the above with wholewheat pasta/brown rice or bake potatoes.
if you want any detailed veggie recipes let me know & i'll pm you them...i'm sure you won't need them though as i'm sure you're a much better cook than i am!!
my youngest (10) would have had exactly the same reaction and depending on my own stress level I would have said more to the meddling old fool. I know they often mean well but they have absolutly no idea.
just take it one day at a time, the temptation to eat yourself silly with bad food choices after a bad meltdown can be overpoweringly strong.
I try to put all of that stress into my training sessions at the gym otherwise it all gets to much. You need to find a way to get rid of your stress, as it will help kill off those demon voices telling you how good it would feel to eat those choccies or crisps.
baglady2713
New member
i can tell you know how it is re meltdowns...yes felt a little upset afterwards which led to mcdonalds!! & dominos pizzas on another day (school holidays!!)
how i've lost this week i'll never know...
but 2lbs yay me!!!
tbh felt bit of a fraud this week & didn't expect to lose anything...as this was my 'easing into it' week...i sooooo should have called my diary 'the lazy girls guide to weight loss'!! (thats asuming it works LOL)
i only did one thing differently this week...but it was a really big deal for me...no chocolate bars!! oh & 2 long walks...i've let myself go soooo far when it comes to exercise...even when i was very slim never exactly a gym bunny but i did workout occasionally...& now???!
ok...so onto my 'easing in' exercise programme...
dog walk later tonight (though its cold & dark...& really really don't want to!!) then that'll be a grand total of 3 good walks this week.
tomorrow clearing out shed as i remembered (though god only knows how i managed to forget in the first place??!
) that when i moved house...2 yrs ago...i stored/hid a brand new reebok trampette...& i have new arm & ankle strap weights in there too & hand weights. this w/end i start to kick my own ass (of course in the uk we say arse...but ass fits better LOL)what you said about finding something to get rid of my stress really rings true for me as the other day i was scribbling some things down about why i was finding it so hard to begin when i know how to & want to etc...when it dawned on me that i use food to take the edge off things (like some ppl do with a drink...) a way of coping with life...so i knew i had to find something else to help me cope...exercise was the obvious choice...it will help me to lose weight/tone up/de-stress/increase cardiovascular fitness & stimulate neurotransmitters in my brain to produce seratonin, the 'feel good' hormone!! WOW!!
the plan to shake off lazygirlitis starts tomorrow!!
NB ruled out becoming addicted to sex & drugs for obvious reasons...though maybe not so obvious...no time/energy to fit dates in so sex addiction would be nigh impossible to fit into my life...& as for drugs been there done that in my younger partygirl days but never appealed particularly i'd rather eat!!
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baglady2713
New member
an example of how my lazy girl attitude is (no was!!) so entrenched..
i am due to visit my very oldest & dearest friend who moved about 300 miles away last year & with one thing or another haven't got around to visiting her at her new house yet...anyway train tickets bought for a months time & i really really can't wait to her...lots of girlie gossip/a chick flick at the movies & maybe even a few (!) glasses of wine...plus my eldest (20yrs) looking after finn for me (so huge bonus i'll be child free!!! hurrah!! not really such a bad mommy honest LOL)
yet i caught myself thinking the other day (after a panic about what to wear ie what'll fit me??!) well if haven't lost any weight by then i can always just give my tickets to another friend of ours??!! what?? how negative is that??
letting my weight dictate what i do?? letting my concerns sabotage my trip?? i don't think so!! i'm going to go no matter what!!! & do y'know?? i will lose more weight before i go to...as long as i stay focused...marathon not a sprint blahblahblah...
i am due to visit my very oldest & dearest friend who moved about 300 miles away last year & with one thing or another haven't got around to visiting her at her new house yet...anyway train tickets bought for a months time & i really really can't wait to her...lots of girlie gossip/a chick flick at the movies & maybe even a few (!) glasses of wine...plus my eldest (20yrs) looking after finn for me (so huge bonus i'll be child free!!! hurrah!!
not really such a bad mommy honest LOL)yet i caught myself thinking the other day (after a panic about what to wear ie what'll fit me??!) well if haven't lost any weight by then i can always just give my tickets to another friend of ours??!! what?? how negative is that??
letting my weight dictate what i do?? letting my concerns sabotage my trip?? i don't think so!! i'm going to go no matter what!!! & do y'know?? i will lose more weight before i go to...as long as i stay focused...marathon not a sprint blahblahblah...
baglady2713
New member
my birthday next week...42!! arrgghhhhhh...
anyway might not have made it by 40 or 41 or even 42 exactly...
but by the summer this year i will be on my to being fit & fabulous for the rest of my 40's...& beyond!!!
my body deserves good nourishment for me to be healthy
as for leftovers...better off in the bin than in my stomach!!
anyway might not have made it by 40 or 41 or even 42 exactly...
but by the summer this year i will be on my to being fit & fabulous for the rest of my 40's...& beyond!!!
my body deserves good nourishment for me to be healthy
as for leftovers...better off in the bin than in my stomach!!
Schwa
New member
Where are ya, Baglady? I need my daily dose of inspirational quotes!!
I thought about you today as I purchased some Quorn. Unfortunately they didn't have the lowest cal selection that I prefer (the plain cutlets), so I'm going to swing by another grocery store tomorrow to see if I can find some. Today I picked up the "chick'n" patties instead.
I see you're signed up for the next challenge as well. Looking forward to winning... err, competing with you.
I thought about you today as I purchased some Quorn. Unfortunately they didn't have the lowest cal selection that I prefer (the plain cutlets), so I'm going to swing by another grocery store tomorrow to see if I can find some. Today I picked up the "chick'n" patties instead.
I see you're signed up for the next challenge as well. Looking forward to winning... err, competing with you.
baglady2713
New member
hi schwa...
thank goodness you reminded me about the challenge...busy w/end...i'd forgotten all about it!! but wasn't i supposed to have something sent by email for the challenges?? hmmmm i may have left it too late now...is it obvious that i have absolutely no clue whatsoever what i signed up for!!?
a quote just for you...
'to live is that rarest thing in the world...most people exist, that is all...'
oscar wilde
i do like a bit of pink...girlie but with a bit of an edge thats my thing!!
thank goodness you reminded me about the challenge...busy w/end...i'd forgotten all about it!! but wasn't i supposed to have something sent by email for the challenges?? hmmmm i may have left it too late now...is it obvious that i have absolutely no clue whatsoever what i signed up for!!?
a quote just for you...
'to live is that rarest thing in the world...most people exist, that is all...'
oscar wilde
i do like a bit of pink...girlie but with a bit of an edge thats my thing!!
baglady2713
New member
even when you fall on your face, you are still moving forward...
baglady2713
New member
What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it