Back after some time

[Eoghan]

Cue sob story

I tried at the weight loss for about 5/6 weeks and didn't see or feel any difference at all in myself. I gave up rather easily and also got a pretty bad injury in the process, so I was out of action for a long time. All that time out of action and I just said fxck it and caved in. Back to my old eating habits now

Not to make excuses but yes it was my own fault. I was very dedicated but just couldn't seem to make a shred of progress. The other thing that made it hard for me was I had 0 support from any of my family or friends. They never asked how I was getting on or supported or showed any sign of interest. My family aren't the best at communicating feelings and are a tad dysfunctional so, to be honest it didn't really help, it's rather upsetting.The only support or motivation I had was from the forum here from members and also from the between and after section which blew me away and really made me want to do 1000% effort, knowing that one day maybe I'd be a lot happier than I am now.

I really am not one bit happy in my life at the moment. I feel like my weight is constantly holding me back no matter what I do. Whether it be making friends, talking to /meeting girls, new friends or even just feeling good. I describe it as a curse, but honestly I have no one to blame but myself. My life is so boring, I rarely see my friends and I just want to get out of the place I am in at the moment cause I feel I am going nowhere and the only step or way I will get anyone to like me or feel good about myself is to lose weight.

For example, I met a really beautiful girl recently, and I like her a lot, but I know there's no chance in hell she would even consider dating or bothering with a guy like me. And I don't expect her to since there is more attractive guys than me and I mean, I like pretty girls so I wouldn't expect her to stoop so low as to me (I mean, that would be hypocritical, no?). Anyway, she started talking with one of my friends and they hit it off right away, given he's a pretty good looking guy. I have no idea what happened between them but it turns out she thinks I'm "cute". It hurts me to think if I lost some weight like I want to, I could reallly make her mine (cocky much XD). It depresses me to think of it. I know it will take time but I am so sick of feeling like this. That night I went home and was just so angry at the whole situation, I broke down and couldn't stop blaming myself for being such a big fat loser. Total self loathing :/


I know it sounds so shallow and pathetic that I feel like I need to lose weight to be accepted by people or feel good but I feel like I cannot be out going or get past certain points with people or really shine unless I look and feel good, in which case I do not now. I'm sick of getting called "cute" by girls, which is probably a nice way of saying UGLY, while my friends get all of the action, it's really depressing. It's come to a point where I cry myself to sleep some nights cause I think about it a lot, I feel like I cannot tell anyone so here I am ranting like a big child (I'm 20 years of age! haha). And when I am upset the only thing that really makes me feel good is eating. So it's a big big vicious circle I want to escape

I feel a bit better now and would like to give this a go again, I have no idea why I did not see or feel any differences with my regime but maybe you guys can help me, I really want to do this and just want to feel like a new and different person

 

[jen_renee]

It hurts me to think if I lost some weight like I want to, I could reallly make her mine (cocky much XD).

Well whatcha waitin' for?!

LOL. Seriously though, read the stickied threads, there's lots of good info in them and maybe start a diary. It's a good way to connect with the other members of the forum, to give and get support. Good luck to you!

 

[Frosteh]

Let me say you don't need the support of family and friends to lose weight, it can help at times but it's certainly not necessary, everyone is strong enough to deal with it themselves, try not to use things like lack of support as an excuse and man up, it's your problem and you can fix it yourself.

My advice (and how I'm losing weight) is stick to the science.

1lb of fat is 3500 calories worth of energy, you need a total deficit in your diet of 3500 calories to lose 1lb of fat, it literally is that simple.

First you need to work out your maintenance calories, this is the number of calories you need to consume in a day to maintain your current weight, there are lots of calculators you can find if you google search, plug in your details (weight/height/age etc) and it will give you a number, all you need to do is eat less calories than this number and you'll lose weight.

If you spread your weight loss evenly across a week that 3500 calorie deficit it only (3500/7 = 500) 500 calories per day, eat 500 calories less than your maintenance each day and you'll lose 1lb a week.

Keep track of your calories every day, make sure you're accurate if you measure something, if you're unsure then over estimate to be safe. If you're honest about the amount you're eating then you'll lose weight, it's that easy.

On a personal note, don't take rejection from women too hard, even if you're thin you're still going to get rejected by people, everyone gets rejected, it's harsh but it's true. Do not lose weight to impress someone else, lose weight for yourself, there's no guarantee that it will help you win over that special someone. But you WILL feel better about yourself if you do it just for you, and you never know, maybe there will be other benefits on top of that, who knows

 

[Eoghan]

Thanks for the replies, and yep, I know it's not necessary to get support from family friends etc but I have admit and accept full responsibility for my own weight loss

I really want to give this another go and really want to make a big difference in my life