"Are you Pregnant?" and other dumb things people say to you

Sunshyne

Sunshyne

New member
I've never been asked if I was pregnant but my mom has (she's overweight, and not pregnant) and I know how hurtful it can be. Certain things just shouldn't be asked

It was my birthday and my uncle got me some clothes in size medium (I told him I wear a medium). Well upon opening my gifts my aunt says that it looks like those clothes are too small and they could fit my little sister (who is 7). I felt really bad and she said it in front of everyone :( FYI the clothes fit snug and they will be even looser once I lose some weight, so hmph!

What are some dumb/rude things family, friends or even strangers have said to you?
 
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Sunshyne said:
What are some dumb/rude things family, friends or even strangers have said to you?
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There's almost nothing worse than having someone just laugh at you; without saying a word, they just laugh at you. I've had that happen quite a few times. But, I'm working on that. In just a few short weeks (er, months maybe), I'll have a completely unlaughable body. Well, with the exception of the miniscule dangly I got in my pants. That will always create laughs...and possibly some tears, SIGH.
 
I remember when my Grandaddy (who has passed away recently) told me one Christmas "Whoo, you've gotten pretty husky!" when I was around 14, I think. I know he was just being himself, but back then it really hurt.

I've had countless birthdays and other occasions where people will buy me clothes and they were always size L or so for shirts, and anywhere from size 9 to 14 in pants/dresses. Two things would always happen: Either I would try on the clothes and they would fit, making me feel awful that I had to wear such large sizes (to me, they were large), or they would be a little loose, but I still had to wonder "Do I -look- that big? Do I look like I have to wear double digit sizes??" And it drove me crazy. Felt like a lose/lose situation.

My family has always been on the short and squat side, and therefore, when I started getting pretty chubby, it was accepted. I wasn't ever laughed at, per se, but I was drawn in to a lull of security that it was okay to have 'meat' on my bones and that if I didn't, I was to be fed immediately and as much as possible. Like... if I wasn't the same shape or weight as them, I would be shunned or something. It wasn't the best environment, and not that they did this on purpose, but it's just my family's way of life.
 
I think my mother was my worst critic & she said ruder things to me than anyone ever has! She had her own body image problems & worked hard to pass them on.

Usually people who make rude and insenstive comments are never all that themselves! Look to the source before you bother to take their comments onboard. Generally anything they have to say is about them and not you - even if all they are trying to to is build up their own weak self esteem at your expense.

Blow a mental raspberry at them and move on! :biggrinjester:
 
I have this one customer that every time he sees me he says loudly "Jesus Loves You!" then stairs at me for like ten seconds and repeats it quieter and slower, "Jesus loves you." I just give him that, "Your an idiot" look, and turn and work on the next customer.

The first time he did that I took it as him trying to say that he thought no one else loved me, but tried to remind me that at least Jesus does. Now I realize it's just the goodbye of a crazy old man. I still find it annoying though, I hate when people spout religion at me. But since he's a customer I'm not allowed to say anything...
 
I'm sure people said horrible things about my weight. but I never really heard it. I was the funny girl, thought high school was a blast. I really don't even know where my high self esteem came from. Adversely this was really bad though, because it took me so long to see that I needed to change. I just didn't see why I needed to lose the weight.
 
I hate to say it but for me it's things like 'Oh you don't look that big'..'You look just fine'. Mostly by Amy.

It is silly cause those sort of comments are just as bad. It makes you forget how bad you might be. I reached 400. I don't care how good Amy thinks I look, that's dangerous!
 
I posted this in my journal, but once I ran into the mother of an elementry school friend in a store. She hadn't seen me in about 10 years at that point. I said hi and could tell she didn't recognize me, so I told her who I was. She exclaimed "[my first name]! Wow, I didn't recognize you. You were always so skinny!"

...ow. I was very close to saying "That's really funny, because you were always so nice! Weird how people change, huh?" But I didn't. I just said it was nice to see her and walked away.

A friend of mine, who is about my size (probably weighs more, but she's taller too) went to the doctor for fertility issues. The nurse there told her that if she'd "stop eating fast food every day" she'd be able to get pregnant. :cuss: Yes, she's overweight, but she didn't eat fast food every day and a nurse should know better then to be so insulting. If her weight was the issue (it wasn't, she has PCOS), the it should be handled in a polite and understanding manner. She switched doctors.

Another friend of mine was at the doctor (different one) and he took one look at the stretch marks on her stomach and asked when her baby had been born. She had never been pregnant.
 
mizzie said:
I posted this in my journal, but once I ran into the mother of an elementry school friend in a store. She hadn't seen me in about 10 years at that point. I said hi and could tell she didn't recognize me, so I told her who I was. She exclaimed "[my first name]! Wow, I didn't recognize you. You were always so skinny!"

...ow. I was very close to saying "That's really funny, because you were always so nice! Weird how people change, huh?" But I didn't. I just said it was nice to see her and walked away.
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Haha, that would have been funny for you to have said.

A girl said that to me in high school. I didn't think anything of it because I didn't care but if someone said that to me now I'd be heartbroken.

I just can't believe how often people speak before thinking.
 
ChefChiTown said:
There's almost nothing worse than having someone just laugh at you; without saying a word, they just laugh at you. I've had that happen quite a few times. But, I'm working on that. In just a few short weeks (er, months maybe), I'll have a completely unlaughable body. Well, with the exception of the miniscule dangly I got in my pants. That will always create laughs...and possibly some tears, SIGH.
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Are you serious? Not about the 'dangly'. But do people really see you and laugh?

I mean, I get laughed at (a lot) but that's usually for doing something stupid (which happens a lot).
 
Spinner1964 said:
Are you serious? Not about the 'dangly'. But do people really see you and laugh?

I mean, I get laughed at (a lot) but that's usually for doing something stupid (which happens a lot).
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I get laughed at for doing stupid stuff, yes...but I've been laughed at for how I look before. There's a big part of me that doesn't care what other people think, but there's also a part that's like, "AWW, you're big meanie!!!"...and then I get all pouty, take my ball and go home. And, then I usually eat a carton of ice cream, using a Snickers bar as a spoon.
 
That sucks big time. What the hell is wrong with people?

I was subject to a lot of racist abuse as a kid because of what I looked like so I learned that really hurts. Being picked on in any way for how we look undermines us badly and is tough to defend inside and out (that said I stood my own in the schoolyard).

Sorry that has happened to you ChefChiTown. To be honest I am enjoying your posts and your comment about eating icecream with snickers made me lol!:hurray:
 
I had a friend tell me I wouldn't be able to get to 140 pounds because "I didn't have it in me". Well I am going to show her!!
 
Spinner1964 said:
That sucks big time. What the hell is wrong with people?

I was subject to a lot of racist abuse as a kid because of what I looked like so I learned that really hurts. Being picked on in any way for how we look undermines us badly and is tough to defend inside and out (that said I stood my own in the schoolyard).

Sorry that has happened to you ChefChiTown. To be honest I am enjoying your posts and your comment about eating icecream with snickers made me lol!:hurray:
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Don't be sorry. I'm a big, fat clown...I think people are supposed to laugh at me, you know?

Glad you're enjoying the posts though. That's kinda what I'm here for.
 
I have had lots of people ask when my baby is due, very annoying.I had my youngest and was taking him in for his 2 month needle and the nurse asked my when I was due and if it was another boy(she had a very pissy look on her fast to wanted to slap her)pissed my off I almost walked out.
 
*hugs*

Sorry to hear all the awful stories of ignorant/rude comments. I hope this will motivate everyone to get healthy, I know it has for me
 
It embarrasses me to even say this, but one time when I was in 8th grade we were having a contest to see who could hula hoop the longest. One guy said that I would win because the hoop probably wouldnt make it down past my rolls. Yea, thats was a nice hit to my self esteem. I have taken shit from my own brother and cousins. They used to call me fat ALL the time when was younger and My cousin who is 19 still does sometimes.

A few weeks ago we were at a party and he (my cousin) went to pick me up (he was really drunk) .. I do have self esteem issues and I wouldnt even let him, try because i was embarrassed. then he screamed out in front of EVERYBODY that he probably wouldnt be able to lift me anyways because "She's like 300 lbs) Im 170 lbs thank you very F-ing much. (On the bright side, the hottest guy on the face of the planet told me not to take any of his shit, so I punched my cousin in the face, lol. Then me and hot guy talked for a while and he asked if I was ok) ..

I have a friend, and I love her to death, but she will comment on how much weight im loosing in front of people, and I dont know why but it bothers me. Its feels like she's pointing out im fat but I know she means well.

My dad constantly cracks jokes about my ass. The other day mentioned that it hurt (i fell down) and he said "Thats an awful lot of hurting" And he constantly make stupid cracks like that.

My mom used to make me cry when she would come in and yell at me for being fat. She would bitch and complain about me eating and said stuff like "you're going to wonder next time we shop for clothes why you cant fit into anything" and crap like that. I dont wonder. I KNOW why I dont fit into anything. :/

I have alot of issues because of these types of things. For instance i cant stand for anybody to touch me or see my body.
The guy i liked came up and touched my stomache flirtingly and I flinched away and said "Dont touch me" pretty harsh and I felt bad after. I told him it was a reflex and that i was sorry. And he appologised like 83901 times. lol.
 
I've had a lot of these...:(

In high school a boy told me I look like Magda Szubanski (google it).

After being away for 6 months when I was 19 my nana said "you haven't grown much" (short joke), to which my mum replied "not up anyway".....ouch. At the time I had just lost 15kg and weighed about 62 kilos. I wasn't exactly fat.

I went to a swimming pool a few years ago and just after getting in the life guard came up and said "I'm sorry, but we ask that pregnant women don't swim alone." I was not, nor have I ever been pregnant. I swam the first 4 laps balling my eyes out and never went back there again.

Around the same time I was continuously being offered seats on the tube. In a way it was kinda cool (haha), but crushing none the less...

After getting back from the UK after 2 years (during which time I gained a LOT of weight) my nana said (before even saying hello...) "you've put on a lot of weight!" to which my grandad added "yeah, you look like the vicar of dibley!" (google it...).

About a week later my sister called me a selfish bitch for being so fat at her wedding.

And a couple of months ago my "best friend" told me that it was actually really shit for her being friends with me now that I'm fat. Because it stresses her out having to always think about how fat I am. Well...fuck me...sorry!

Aren't people lovely!?

:eek:
 
I have a friend who I use to work out with. She is super skinny but for some reason cant see it that way. Anyway every training session she would go on and on about how she cant g tot he beach cause her hips are too big and myself and our trainer would always tell her that she is an idiot for thinking that and most people would die for her body. Then she would always end the conversation saying "Yeah well I dont want to be like one of those people who dont realise how big they are" and would promptly stare at me.

We are still friends but only very distant ones. Hell it only took me over a year to get sick of those constant comments.

Another thing was that my nana when on the tony furg diet and lost a heaps of weight, then went through her closet and got out all the clothes which didnt fit her anymore, then took them all to my mother and said how she could wear them now, cause they were too big for her. Mind you some of these clothes were a really big size - and it made my mum cry.... :(
 
The worst was during my eighth grade graduation field trip. We went to a sports camp where they had a zip line. I was 200 lbs at the time, size 14. While I was up at the top ready to go down, one of the girls on the ground said to everyone Don't worry, she'll break a wire. I was never anything but nice to that girl since the day I met her in kindergarten. I heard this from many different people, from her friends and mine. I wish nobody had ever told me, I would rather have never known. I was so young at the time, and I hear people say all the time that kids are just mean like that, but it doesn't fix it, the damage was done.

There are other little things that happen that I'm sure other people don't intend to hurt me with, but they do.

My mother is always saying how pretty other girls are, but she's never given me a compliment that I can recall. She compliments my kid (actual kid) sister all the time, but I never got anything, I can't even remember any as a kid. That's not to say I can force her or anyone else to think I'm pretty and I don't think she means to hurt me, but it does.

She also will say to me how all overweight people look the same to her, or how she's gotta stop eating because she doesn't want to get fat. It's never out of malice, or her trying to give me a hint, but....

There are other things, I could spend an entire night listening them off.
 
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