Antyoch's diary

antyoch

antyoch

New member
Eek! So this is my first post. I hope this is how you do it! No one has to read any of it but I guess it's for my own personal motivation. I reached 221 today, which I'm proud of, when I'm 219 I get a haircut :D I need one badly so I'm trying extra hard. The only thing is, is I have my moments of doubt where I panic and dont think i'm actually losing fat. I worry that it's only water weight or I could be losing muscle or maybe my stomach's just empty.

I started this journey at 238, and the first 10 pounds or so I would say were waterweight or excess in my body I didn't need. I'm constantly worried I'm not doing it right or that I'm not exercising enough, or maybe I'm eating too much. I dont really like exercise, so I've started running most days for about 20 minutes (running/walking) doing what I can, I go easy on myself because I dont want to overdo it then give up becuase i dont like it anymore.

I'm on the GI diet, I dont count calories or carbs. Basically I eat on schedule, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. If i'm not really hungry I'll eat a small snack. I'm really enjoying the diet, I find it easy and I cna feel the healthy changes in my body. I got the suggestion from a guy I work with, his doctor said he had to go on a diet because of his blood pressure and recommended this diet. I got to thinking, if this guy can do it, I sure as hell can.

my boyfriend is my main source of support, always reminding me that it's not going to happen in a couple weeks. And when I get talking about diet pills and crazy ideas to lose weight there's the "if it actually worked, everyone would be skinny".

I took before pictures, but I dont really want to post until i have some midway or after pictures :p

I feel like i'm hallucinating everything. I still feel fat, and I guess I am. I find it hard to tell with measurements if i'm losing because you might not have the same tension or same spot .

I think I need to just stop worrying and do! I'm only 2 weeks in. I'm proud of myself, I cheated once so far and had some jelly beans, portion controlled them though, i had a small handful :D

I think that's everything for now, I had a lot to write! :ack2:
 
You only cheated ONCE in two weeks!! That's amazing. I wish I had that kind of self control!! And I do agree with what you say, we just need to do, and stop thinking about it so much.

Good luck! I will definitely drop by your diary and check on your progress as I progress (hopefully!) ahead. We can do it!!
 
Hi Antyoch! Just thought id pop in on your diary too :) Looks like your off to a good start! You must be very proud of yourself after only cheating once! Just as Juni said, I wish i had that kind of self control as well.
Can't wait to read more about your progress :)


ps: Im also from Ontario, CA, its nice to finally meet someone on here from somewhere close to me haha
 
Thanks! I'm fairly proud of my self control, I guess I just realized how much better I feel, plus I still get low fat/no sugar added ice cream and i just add splenda and it feels like i'm getting my sugar fix without the sugar :D

Yay! Glad to have another ontario person here :)

So for my second entry:

My weight: 221
Goal weight: 150
height: 5'8"
Goal time: 1year 6months

I beat my running goal today, and by double :D

I'm having problems with my strength training though. I can't seem to find a routine I like, so it's pretty much a half assed workout. I'm sticking with the push ups, leg lifts are okay, the butt lifts make me feel sick to my stomach though and I'm not sure why.

I might get into resistance bands, although I'm not sure what to do with them either, perhaps I'll pick up a workout video? I'm baffled by the strength training, and I know that helps fat loss a lot so I really want to do it.

I'm also self concious about the muscle though, I've always had big muscles (or so I thought). Growing up on a farm and playing sports for the majority of my life until the past couple years. I dont want to look like a beefed out body builder, it sounds bad but I'd rather lose the muscle then look masculine. Maybe I'm over reacting, and once i lose a bunch of the fat it'll look like less muscle.

Does anyone have any ideas on some weight training routines to work the entire body?


My food for the day:
breakfast: 1/2c all bran w/ 3/4 c skim milk
snack: 1/4c nofat/nosugar yogurt w/ some grapes
lunch: 1/2c pasta w/ beans and some cottage cheese
snack: grapes and cherries
dinner: salad (nonfat dressing) with potatoes (didn't finish them)
snack: no fat/no sugar ice cream (love this stuff!)
 
So I signed up to the local YMCA, and started weight training, it's surprisingly easy! all the machines have the little diagrams and even I could operate them. The only thing I dont like is they dont have a running track. We have 2 near me, and the one has a running track, but not as great facilities, and the other has amazing machines and no running track :( a girl just can't win!

I've been eating good, I started the mydailyplate.com and it's amazing! I love how use friendly and simple it is, thank you to karacooks for that! I cheated yesterday and had a 100 calorie fudgesicle, I earned it! :D

I seem to be stuck at 221/222 ish, I'm okay with that though, I'm sure this is just a plateau and it'll kick in again. I feel healthier and that's the main thing.

Funny thing, while at the gym there was this hilarious guy who was completely into himself, and I probably shouldn't poke fun cuz he worked hard to get the way he was, and I hope I can be happy to stare at myself in the mirror someday!
 
Hi there, I hope you are having a good weekend. Thanks for stopping by my diary and your kind words.

I know what you mean about the guy at the gym. I look forward to the day when people start commenting on how good I look etc. I know it is totally self-obsessed but a girl can dream, right.

Yay about YMCA about running- u don't wanna run outside? I totally admire people who can run. I can only run like 1 minute before I start panting. Ugh! I wish I was a runner- even tried the C25k program (twice!) and gave up on the 5th week.

Have a great weekend!!
 
ROAR! I'm feeling kind of depressed. I think I probably overate today, I didn't keep track, and it was at least healthier foods rather than binging on chocolates.

Due to crap in my life I've decided to pretty much live in the gym. I'm so tired of being fat. And i'm not sure if i'm just low because I'm overweight and maybe I'm crazy. But I feel tired of one sided friendships and it's probably my fault but I feel like everyone around me is just pissing about and if I stopped making an effort not a single one of them would come around. So I've given up on everyone and I just want to live at the gym because at least there I feel happy with people and feel like i'm accomplishing something rather then ruining my diet with people who dont give a shit about what they eat.

gah! Okay I just had to get that out.

Does anyone know how to use a scale properly? I feel like I should be putting all of my weight on it or as little as possible instead of just balancing in the middle. any help appreciated
 
antyoch said:
Due to crap in my life I've decided to pretty much live in the gym. I'm so tired of being fat. And i'm not sure if i'm just low because I'm overweight and maybe I'm crazy. But I feel tired of one sided friendships and it's probably my fault but I feel like everyone around me is just pissing about and if I stopped making an effort not a single one of them would come around. So I've given up on everyone and I just want to live at the gym because at least there I feel happy with people and feel like i'm accomplishing something rather then ruining my diet with people who dont give a shit about what they eat.
Click to expand...

I know this feeling very well. Its like you are bending over backwards for everyone else and no one around you cares or is willing to do the same for you. It's not fun, i know. It's not even something you can necessarily fix because some of us are just born to help others and be nice to others because it makes us feel good...until we realize that no one does the same for us. Or...when you feel like you are the only one doing the planning to get together with people to keep the friendships growing and no one else cares to ask you. I guess after so long of getting this feeling ive learnt to show more gratitude towards those who actually do come around and i guess kinda said 'well fine, be that way' to the ones who don't. If your friends cant be supportive of your diet than thats their problem, not yours. You shouldn't feel inferior to them anyways because you are learning to lead a much healthier lifestyle which is a really good thing :)
 
Gaah! I know how that feels. I am sorry you are not feeling that great.

But I also think it is just a phase and it shall pass. Plus we are all here to listen so come by and talk/vent whenever you want.

You are doing sooo well with the weight loss. Lets help each other not lose focus.

And we all do slip, once in a while. But you were healthy when you slipped, so that's fine.

Take care. Sending warm positive thoughts to you.
 
Thanks guys :)


So today I kind of feel like crap again, but not in an emotional way :p luckily!! I figured I'd try protein drinks since I've been sore after workouts and i want to be able to work out sat/sun's well now I feel horrible. I used half of what they recommended on the container and I feel sick to my stomach, bloated, and my body hates me right now. I think it was a waste and I probably wont be doing it again!

I'm below 220 now! so I'm thrilled. I'm not seeing changes yet although my parents have commented saying i do look like i'm losing weight in my neck and face especially, and theres moments whne you look at your body and go "hey, I kind of do see a small change" A few more weeks and I'm sure I'll see a change.

As for food I've been eating these little chocolate raisin packets my mum bought! They're so good, I dont have more then one a day, and I swear there's only about 8-10 raisins in them, they're kind of like halloween treat sized I guess.

I dont post my food everyday because somedays i'm just too busy but today! i had:

breakfast - large flake oats w/ skim milk
snack - 1c skim milk w/ protein powder
lunch - 1/2c pasta w/ olive oil sauce, sort of an italian sauce, its great! and 1/4c egg salad made w/ non fat mayonnaise on 1 piece of whole grain bread
snack - 1/2 c yogurt
dinner - sloppy joes!

they're so fantastic, and perfectly healthy for you, sometimes i feel like i'm not on a "diet" and as if I've cheated :blush5:

here's the recipe :

1 pound xtra lean ground beef
1 onion (diced)
2-4 garlic cloves (diced)
1 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 can beans (any kind you want, i use the mixed beans in water)
1 can crushed tomatos (or sugar/fat free spagetti sauce)
1-2 tomato's chopped
1 green pepper (diced :p
1/4 c large flake oats

Basically, cook the beef til browned, add onion, garlic, chili powder, worcestershire sauce, beans, crushed tomatos and oats, then once it's thickened add the chopped tomato and green pepper.

you can add everything at once if you want to, i save the tomato and pepper for last because i dont like them mushy, so i wait til everything's done then add them, they dont cook or go soft :p
 
I figured out today the true meaning of you are who you hang out with.

Usually its just my boyfriend or one other close friend I have and with them I feel no pressure to eat anything or do anything or be anything other then I am. Hanging out with a different group of friends tonight I realized how bad of an influence they are. I was made to feel bad/like a loser because I didn't want to drink beer, or any alcohol for that matter or eat wings at the bar. Apparently I'm no fun if I dont drink...I got made fun of for ordering water and wanting to be healthy. And while I'm not putting down anyone who drinks, feel free, if you can put that into your lifestyle and enjoy it, then all power to you. But to me I dont see it fitting into a healthy lifestyle. I guess it goes along with smoking and coffee for me, I find them all un healthy (in MY opinion) I have nothing against people who choose to do those things, but I also dont make fun of you for it and tell you you shouldn't.

This is the same group of people who i feel are trying to get me not to go to the gym so i can hang out with them more and keep telling me that I'm ignoring them, and being a bitch. I go to their functions and get togethers and the things they enjoy why can't they come to the gym with me? The first 5 times are free for any of my friends and they're not obligated to a membership. Both my other friend and my boyfriend have gone to the gym with me and had fun.

I'm really just frustrated and feel bloated and icky and gross. I've decided to avoid those "friends", its frustrating being made fun of because you dont want to be fat anymore. I remember reading here about members who lost weight and the comments people would make. And I agree, it is pure jealousy, I'm doing something about being fat and unhappy, what are you doing?

So needless to say I ended up eating wings, fries and chicken strips. Which, I do know in the end is my fault, I should have stuck to my guns, but I didn't, I gave into the pressure and I feel like crap now.

I've been happy for a while now, and enjoying myself, going to the gym, I know the regulars now, and I love going all the time, even if I know I should have a day off I go and just watch tv and stroll on the treadmill, or float around in the pool. I've decided from this day on I'm going to stick to my guns and not let anyone bring me down like that again. its my choice what I choose to do/eat/drink in my life, not theirs, they dont have ot be in my body or be me. I'm going to the gym instead of hanging out with them, and I'm going to enjoy myself and have fun. Because I think being happy is a lot more fun then making fun of people and putting people down and binge eating.

Say NO to peer pressure!!! :icon_bs:

Be happy with who you are, and what you're doing in life, that's all I can say. Dont put others down for things they're happy for. Live YOUR life. Not someone elses.
 
Cheers to you for standing up to peer pressure. You shouldn't have to justify refusing to do something you don't think is healthy to your friends!
 
Thats really mean of your friends Antyoch...but im glad that you are able to stand up to the peer pressure now. It doesnt matter what they want you to eat or drink, its totally up to you and always should be up to you. Id be up for a weight loss/healthy lifestyle change buddy anytime so if you need someone thats in the same boat as you and wants the same things, well here i am lol.
 
Hey Antyoch! Amazing progress girl and way to go for choosing to be around people who will be more supportive of you. Sometimes when i go out with friends im reluctant to tell them that im watching what i eat because i always get the "you dont need to lose weight" or "Oh c'mon just this once".
It's frustrating and so sometimes i just dont say anything at all and just eat really slowly so i always have something on my plate. Another thing that makes it really frustrating is that when i give in to the pressure and have a cheat day, its really hard for me to go back to my healthy routine-so i end up throwing away all my hard work. Especially if i end up feeling bloated afterwards and like my stomach is rotting on the inside. Not logical at all but tell my brain that :p

Making it a habit of hanging out at the gym even if its a light workout is a great idea!

antyoch said:
I'm also self concious about the muscle though, I've always had big muscles (or so I thought). Growing up on a farm and playing sports for the majority of my life until the past couple years. I dont want to look like a beefed out body builder, it sounds bad but I'd rather lose the muscle then look masculine. Maybe I'm over reacting, and once i lose a bunch of the fat it'll look like less muscle.
Click to expand...

I'm not nearly as informed about this as some people on this forum, but when i had voiced this concern to a trainer at the gym, she told me that as females we dont have enough testosterone in our body to make us look bulky with muscle. So dont be afraid to do resistance training! It helps you tone your body and kicks up your metabolism!

Congrats so far on your success and keep it up!!!!!
 
Thanks Nightrunner :D


I feel excellent today other then my mood swings (pms!! ). I did week 2 of the c25k then ran an extra 5 minutes at the end. I kind of skipped week 1. I did 2 days of it, but didn't find it challenging enough so I moved on to 2 which I'm enjoying :). I also did all my weight lifting. and some swimming as well not sure for how long. I figure I did about 20 laps in a .25 km pool (with breaks :p). I just do it until I'm bored because I love swimming! :D I'm also happy to notice I'm getting the muscle lines in my calves, you know when you flex? AND I got my first blister from running today, it was my own fault, I wore the wrong socks :ack2: Wasn't thinking before I left. Oh well :p Battle wounds :D

I think I haven't been eating enough lately because I've noticed I'm out of energy a lot when going to the gym and yesterday I ate probably 1600-2000 calories with chicken and pasta and tuna salad for lunch. It might also be because of my TOM just starting, Maybe I justt need to kick up my calories for the week. I've been eating properly I'll just have a bit bigger portion sizes. So I'm going to try eating more during the days. I find it difficult when I work because I dont always pack very good lunches! But I will try harder!

Feeling very optimistic!

My goal: to lose 2 pounds and at least 3 inches in total from my body by the 22nd. I think it's reasonable. I measure my calves, ankles, arms, theighs, waist, hips and chest so 3 inches total should be easy as long as i'm working hard!

WE CAN DO IT! :hurray:
 
Loved the cheerful msg you left on my diary. You totally made my night. Thank you!! :Angel_anim:

And I agree with night runner about staying close to those who have postive energy, are genuinely happy that you are choosing to live a healthy life and losing weight the right way. It is quite hard for me to find that support amongst my friends (most of them are skinny), so i come here and talk about it. Plus, we are working hard, planning out meals, working out- very few people realise how much we have thought about weight, or being healthy and what lengths we are going through to stay strong and not fail. Lets collectively not give in to peer pressure, ever.

Sending you warm thoughts. Have a good day!
 
Hi!! I went away for the weekend :D

It wasn't fun.

I didn't count my calories I'm fairly sure I didn't overeat my maintanence calories. But I didn't exactly eat the greatest either. Had some marshmallows and jujubs and food that I'm sure had too many processed stuffs. But I'm not going to freak out. I'll just move on and get my workout in today!

But regardless! I'm down 3.6 inches total from my body, reaching my goal :D and I lost 2 pounds this week! I put on a pair of jeans I haven't put on in a while and they fit wonderfully! It makes me excited and keeps me motivated :p

I felt good when a lady at the gym complimented me on my running and she said she could never do that. So I refered her to the couch to 5k website and said that she could! I'm excited for the gym. My legs are aching to run since I've been off for 2 days.

Hoping to eat lightly today and drink lots of water! lightly meaning not less calories, just light foods. Not a lot of bread or heavy meats. Stuff that's light on the tummy :D
 
Way to go for staying positive and moving forward rather than dwelling and having negative thoughts!:hurray:

Doesn't it feel great to fit into old clothes again!? I bought a pair a pants that were a size too small and i cant wait to fit into them!

Congrats on the weight loss and enjoy the rest of ur weekend! :)
 
Yes! The sad/funny part is that they were my FAT pants! I bought them when everything else was too tight. So hopefully soon they'll be way too big for wearing :p They are really nice pants thoguh!

Thank you for your support :D

You enjoy your weekend too :)
 
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