thedarwinfish
New member
Glad to hear you survived the celebrations! It's easy to get carried away, that's for sure.
Angela's Diary
- Thread starter about2loseit
- Start date
thedarwinfish
New member
Yesterday was your birthday? Damn! Happy belated!
about2loseit
New member
And where have you been?? Huh?? Huh??
Yeah, I do like the Bender ball. Too early to see results yet but I'm working on it.
Thanks!
about2loseit
New member
I've missed you guys, too. The weight loss has not gone as well as I'd like - but then I've not gained either. Ya win some, ya lose some. Sadly, I have not reached my wedding goal but that is my own fault. It seems everyone wants to do something nice for us pre-wedding and most of the time it involves food. I certainly can't say no because I do appreciate everything, but at the same time I just want to hide from all the horrid calories. Going to an all-inclusive resort will be a definite weight-loss negative since we have tons of food and drink at our disposal 24 hours a day. I have a small plan to help combat some of that and I am determined to stick to it.
Thanks for checking on me - here and elsewhere - and thanks to Trops for checking in on me, too. It means a lot, guys. It really does.
about2loseit
New member
*picks up the journal and blows the dust off*
Yes, the prodigal child hath returned. I have no excuses for not being here and doing what I am supposed to do. All I can do now is move on and use the time I lost as a lesson learned. I have a feeling this will be long so feel free to turn back now. I need to put some things in perspective so in effect I wrote this for me. If you do read it and it helps you, so much the better.
I have returned to Weight Watchers. A lot of people say that you don't need to go to WW to lose weight. Granted, there are a lot of people here on this very forum that have lost weight and have never counted a single point. Some people do need this constant motivation and control. I have learned that I am just one of those people. I have been overweight for over a decade. That's a really long time! I have spent the entirety of my twenties that way and honestly, I do not want to spend my thirties that way. I am 29 and I want to be thinner, healthier and develop a positive self-image before I enter the next chapter. I have until July (when I turn 30) to make this transformation. I realize that, for as much as I have to lose, I probably will not be at goal by the time my birthday rolls around. But I will be close. There are several things I can do to make this happen.
First thing I need to do is Stay on-plan (OP). The last time I tried WW I did really well. I went to meetings, I learned how to eat, and I lost about 40 lbs. I had a negative influence in my midst that helped me jump off the wagon. A friend of mine had gone on and on about how she lost weight and never went to WW and if she could do it, so could I, blah blah blah. Every day she snidely remarked how WW was a "cult" and only losers (not the good kind) went there. I didn't actively listen to that crap - but apparently a lot of it did sink in to my subconscious. After my lovely loss (which was not even half of what I had to lose) I began telling myself that I was able to do this on my own, no sense paying WW to do what I could do alone. Then I quit. Then I slowly slipped back into my old ways. Then I gained most of that weight back. I realize that it was my choice to quit but having such a negative influence was not helpful at all. Don't get me wrong here - I am not promoting that program, I am only saying it is right for me. I need the motivation that WW gives. I need the accountability of someone monitoring my progress and nudging me when I don't do what I am supposed to be doing. I like WW because it is not a diet. It is a lifestyle. For those of us that have never learned how to eat (ME!), it teaches that. What kinds of foods are nutritious and healthy. How much of what you should be getting every day to be healthy. How to use portion control. That it is okay to have a cookie now and again. I learned all this once before but I became my old self - the self that turned to food for comfort, the self that ate and ate and ate just because it tasted good. Time to relearn a few things:
1. Get rid of that negative "All or nothing" attitude! Oh, how many gains this thinking has caused me. "I had too many cookies! My diet is ruined! I'll just eat what I want today and start fresh on Monday." How stupid is that? I mean seriously, I fall a little to the wayside and suddenly I forget all about the 2 lbs I did lose that week. I concentrate instead on the fact that I just ate 20 points worth of cookies (about 5-6 cookies). Now I have ruined my whole day/week/month. Might as well go ahead and finish off that ice cream, too. Whatever. That just causes unreasonable damage. I need to keep in mind that no one is perfect, everyone slips, and it is not okay to sabotage all of my efforts just because I acted human and indulged a little. Is it okay to do all the time? Absolutely not. But it is okay if I have a few goodies every now and again and not just fall to pieces for having consumed too many calories. This "all or nothing" crap has got to go!
2. Pre-plan! I know it is not possible to pre-plan every single thing. I may get hungry during the day at a time I usually am not. I may be stuck in traffic an extra hour. I may end up going out to an impromptu dinner. But for all those other times, I can plan. I can plan what I will have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. But I also need to leave myself a little wiggle room so that if I don't want that banana that I planned but instead I want a handful of animal crackers I can do that without feeling guilty. I need to have healthy, low-point snacks available so that when I am unexpectedly hungry I won't go in search of pre-packaged crap I don't need.
3. Write it down!! Oh, I am so bad at this. I tend to forget about that mini-pack of M&Ms or the handful of cheese-its. That stuff adds up - and pretty quickly. I need to get in the habit of writing everything down that I eat so that I can keep track of how many points I am putting into my mouth. That way I can look back and realize where I screwed up and/or where I did well. I have an on-line points tracker where I log my food so I probably won't write it here, I will at least write down how many points I am eating daily.
4. Make small (realistic) goals! "I'm gonna lose 15 pounds this month!" That sounds wonderful but it is not realistic. I won't do that. Doubtful I can do 10. I will make small goals and work towards them. That way I am more likely to succeed and not give up. I hate it when a whole month has gone by and I have not done what I told myself I would do. I get that negative "I wasted a whole month!" attitude and forget about what I did manage to accomplish.
5. Be positive! I'm just as guilty as my friend of having this attitude. And it is soooo destructive! I can't count how many times I have said "I can't get to onederland!" Guess what? I don't. Every time I get close I gain again. I think my negative state is detrimental to what I am trying to do. It's much worse for me to tell myself that than to have another person tell me that. I tend to believe it. Whenever I find myself being negative I will stop myself and think of a proper positive to replace it with.
6. Accept compliments. When someone compliments me on my weight loss efforts I tend to think it's not sincere. That people are just telling me what I want to hear. I have come to realization that when people say good things about my efforts they are being completely sincere. You know how I realized that? Because I am sincere when I tell others they look good or congratulate them for their accomplishments. I am genuinely happy that this friend or that friend has done well and is happy with their hard work. If I am sincere, what makes me think others are not when they tell me the same things? I can easily (and sincerely!) tell a person that their 5-lb-in-one-month weight loss is great, it is a loss, be proud. But when it comes to my own loss, I think "damn I could have done better!" We are our own worst critics. Therefore, I should allow others to give me a boost now and again so that I can run a reality check on my self-criticisms.
Now that carpal tunnel has set in as a result of the foregoing novel (lol) I will get back to what I was (supposed to be) doing. It's possible that I will re-visit my journal a couple of times daily so that I can work out any frustrations that come along. Hey, whatever keeps me away from trigger foods, right? Before I take my leave, however, I want to say THANK YOU!!! to Trops, Matt, Ali and Brian. They all checked on me (or at least asked about me) several times when I went MIA and encouraged me to come back. (Well, Trops nearly dragged me back here, lol.) Thank you guys - you truly are great friends to have.
Yes, the prodigal child hath returned. I have no excuses for not being here and doing what I am supposed to do. All I can do now is move on and use the time I lost as a lesson learned. I have a feeling this will be long so feel free to turn back now. I need to put some things in perspective so in effect I wrote this for me. If you do read it and it helps you, so much the better.
I have returned to Weight Watchers. A lot of people say that you don't need to go to WW to lose weight. Granted, there are a lot of people here on this very forum that have lost weight and have never counted a single point. Some people do need this constant motivation and control. I have learned that I am just one of those people. I have been overweight for over a decade. That's a really long time! I have spent the entirety of my twenties that way and honestly, I do not want to spend my thirties that way. I am 29 and I want to be thinner, healthier and develop a positive self-image before I enter the next chapter. I have until July (when I turn 30) to make this transformation. I realize that, for as much as I have to lose, I probably will not be at goal by the time my birthday rolls around. But I will be close. There are several things I can do to make this happen.
First thing I need to do is Stay on-plan (OP). The last time I tried WW I did really well. I went to meetings, I learned how to eat, and I lost about 40 lbs. I had a negative influence in my midst that helped me jump off the wagon. A friend of mine had gone on and on about how she lost weight and never went to WW and if she could do it, so could I, blah blah blah. Every day she snidely remarked how WW was a "cult" and only losers (not the good kind) went there. I didn't actively listen to that crap - but apparently a lot of it did sink in to my subconscious. After my lovely loss (which was not even half of what I had to lose) I began telling myself that I was able to do this on my own, no sense paying WW to do what I could do alone. Then I quit. Then I slowly slipped back into my old ways. Then I gained most of that weight back. I realize that it was my choice to quit but having such a negative influence was not helpful at all. Don't get me wrong here - I am not promoting that program, I am only saying it is right for me. I need the motivation that WW gives. I need the accountability of someone monitoring my progress and nudging me when I don't do what I am supposed to be doing. I like WW because it is not a diet. It is a lifestyle. For those of us that have never learned how to eat (ME!), it teaches that. What kinds of foods are nutritious and healthy. How much of what you should be getting every day to be healthy. How to use portion control. That it is okay to have a cookie now and again. I learned all this once before but I became my old self - the self that turned to food for comfort, the self that ate and ate and ate just because it tasted good. Time to relearn a few things:
1. Get rid of that negative "All or nothing" attitude! Oh, how many gains this thinking has caused me. "I had too many cookies! My diet is ruined! I'll just eat what I want today and start fresh on Monday." How stupid is that? I mean seriously, I fall a little to the wayside and suddenly I forget all about the 2 lbs I did lose that week. I concentrate instead on the fact that I just ate 20 points worth of cookies (about 5-6 cookies). Now I have ruined my whole day/week/month. Might as well go ahead and finish off that ice cream, too. Whatever. That just causes unreasonable damage. I need to keep in mind that no one is perfect, everyone slips, and it is not okay to sabotage all of my efforts just because I acted human and indulged a little. Is it okay to do all the time? Absolutely not. But it is okay if I have a few goodies every now and again and not just fall to pieces for having consumed too many calories. This "all or nothing" crap has got to go!
2. Pre-plan! I know it is not possible to pre-plan every single thing. I may get hungry during the day at a time I usually am not. I may be stuck in traffic an extra hour. I may end up going out to an impromptu dinner. But for all those other times, I can plan. I can plan what I will have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. But I also need to leave myself a little wiggle room so that if I don't want that banana that I planned but instead I want a handful of animal crackers I can do that without feeling guilty. I need to have healthy, low-point snacks available so that when I am unexpectedly hungry I won't go in search of pre-packaged crap I don't need.
3. Write it down!! Oh, I am so bad at this. I tend to forget about that mini-pack of M&Ms or the handful of cheese-its. That stuff adds up - and pretty quickly. I need to get in the habit of writing everything down that I eat so that I can keep track of how many points I am putting into my mouth. That way I can look back and realize where I screwed up and/or where I did well. I have an on-line points tracker where I log my food so I probably won't write it here, I will at least write down how many points I am eating daily.
4. Make small (realistic) goals! "I'm gonna lose 15 pounds this month!" That sounds wonderful but it is not realistic. I won't do that. Doubtful I can do 10. I will make small goals and work towards them. That way I am more likely to succeed and not give up. I hate it when a whole month has gone by and I have not done what I told myself I would do. I get that negative "I wasted a whole month!" attitude and forget about what I did manage to accomplish.
5. Be positive! I'm just as guilty as my friend of having this attitude. And it is soooo destructive! I can't count how many times I have said "I can't get to onederland!" Guess what? I don't. Every time I get close I gain again. I think my negative state is detrimental to what I am trying to do. It's much worse for me to tell myself that than to have another person tell me that. I tend to believe it. Whenever I find myself being negative I will stop myself and think of a proper positive to replace it with.
6. Accept compliments. When someone compliments me on my weight loss efforts I tend to think it's not sincere. That people are just telling me what I want to hear. I have come to realization that when people say good things about my efforts they are being completely sincere. You know how I realized that? Because I am sincere when I tell others they look good or congratulate them for their accomplishments. I am genuinely happy that this friend or that friend has done well and is happy with their hard work. If I am sincere, what makes me think others are not when they tell me the same things? I can easily (and sincerely!) tell a person that their 5-lb-in-one-month weight loss is great, it is a loss, be proud. But when it comes to my own loss, I think "damn I could have done better!" We are our own worst critics. Therefore, I should allow others to give me a boost now and again so that I can run a reality check on my self-criticisms.
Now that carpal tunnel has set in as a result of the foregoing novel (lol) I will get back to what I was (supposed to be) doing. It's possible that I will re-visit my journal a couple of times daily so that I can work out any frustrations that come along. Hey, whatever keeps me away from trigger foods, right? Before I take my leave, however, I want to say THANK YOU!!! to Trops, Matt, Ali and Brian. They all checked on me (or at least asked about me) several times when I went MIA and encouraged me to come back. (Well, Trops nearly dragged me back here, lol.) Thank you guys - you truly are great friends to have.
Last edited:
Trops
New member
Weight Watchers is a good motivator. Do you need it? No, but if it helps to remind you not to eat those M&Ms, then that's a good thing. Besides, nothing helps as much as helping others.
Baby steps, right?
Easier said then done, but planning on it is better then not
Hey, that's what this site is for, right?
If you can lose a pound a week, that will be huge. Five pounds this month, what do you say?
Hey, if we all believe in you, and we're the smart ones, then you should follow our lead.
Tough one, but important. Brag a bit about what you're doing. If not in your real world, then here. Be proud when you achieve a goal. Bragging will help in making the goal happen.
So, what's your first brag?
Judyb
New member
Welcome back Angela. We don't live in a one size fits all world, so don't worry if Weight Watchers isn't for everybody but works for you. I'm not a WW kinda gal, but then I'm not much of a joiner by nature. If it works for you, that's all you need to know.
Glad to see you back!
Glad to see you back!
about2loseit
New member
Weeeelllll, my first brag really doesn't have a thing to do with weight loss, but it does have something to do with the healthy new me. You already know this, but I'll say it anyway - have to have something to brag about, right?
As of today I have not smoked in three weeks. Not one little puff. That combined with actually losing a couple of pounds is pretty good IMHO. Not an easy combination of projects to take on. Welcome back Angela. We don't live in a one size fits all world, so don't worry if Weight Watchers isn't for everybody but works for you. I'm not a WW kinda gal, but then I'm not much of a joiner by nature. If it works for you, that's all you need to know.
Glad to see you back!
Thanks for the encouragement, Judy.
Trops
New member
about2loseit
New member
Bigguy
New member
Angela,
I cant tell you how good it is to have you back.
Congratualtions on figuring a few things out about yourself. What works for one is not necessarily going to work for all.
BTW- since when did you smoke? I honestly never knew that. I smoked for 20 years or so and have quit for 9 months now. So I am living testimony to the fact that it is possible to quit smoking and lose weight.
Good for you for figuring things out for yourself and recommitting to yourself.
Glad to have you back.
I cant tell you how good it is to have you back.
Congratualtions on figuring a few things out about yourself. What works for one is not necessarily going to work for all.
BTW- since when did you smoke? I honestly never knew that. I smoked for 20 years or so and have quit for 9 months now. So I am living testimony to the fact that it is possible to quit smoking and lose weight.
Good for you for figuring things out for yourself and recommitting to yourself.
Glad to have you back.
Trops
New member
Well, we knew that you were smokin' just didn't know that you were smoking.
about2loseit
New member
Today I hit a new low . . .
. . . on the scale, that is. It very well may be a false-low but hey, it's motivating nonetheless. When I weighed-in last Friday I was 224. Ick. Although today is not my official weigh-in I stepped on the scale for a sneak-preview: 219. Five pounds in a week? Doubtful. I'll take it though. Makes me want to behave the rest of this week. I have cautioned myself that the Friday scale may not reflect the same number. That way if/when it is larger than today - but smaller than last week! - I am not disappointed.
Crazy things have been going through my head the last couple of days and I must put a voice to it: Food is not the enemy! All of my adulthood - in fact, most of my life - I have hated food. I mean, I love the taste and sometimes I binge just because something tastes good. Hell, I'll devour a container of ice cream to the point of sickness just because it is so darn yummy. Despite the love affair between my taste buds and meal times, I hate food. However, I need to make myself understand that food has not done this to my body. I have done this to my body. Food is not the enemy, lying in wait for a vulnerable moment to hit me. Food is simply sustenance. Why can I not get that? How I wish that I wanted to eat only to live. Instead I live to eat. Frankly, that's killing me. I have a bad day and I seek the comfort of food. I want to celebrate and where do I go? You guessed it - food. I have been in the middle of a binge - set off by an innocent little treat such as a Reese's PB Cup - and thought to myself, "I hate Mr. Reese for making these things!" How juvenile is that? I am the one shoving these sweet little confections into my mouth by the boat load and I blame some unknown person for coming up with a good recipe? My goodness, he didn't put those in my mouth.
I have learned that food control is definitely easier for some than others. There is a junk drawer in the kitchen at my office. This drawer is every trick-or-treater's dream come true. It is filled with at least ten different types of candy and the whole drawer is full. I have seen people go into the kitchen and get one mini candy bar. One. Uno. How in the world do people do that? Me . . . well, I'd be in that drawer face-first like a hillbilly at a pie eating contest. Another oddly displaced feeling: I hate that drawer! Way more than I hate Mr. Reese. Bad day? TOM has arrived? I have to avoid that entire room like the plague because I know that one teeny little candy bar will turn into half a bag. Lately I have been practicing a mantra: "Not worth the points, not worth the points." And it's not. 5 points for a couple of Reese's cups when I am only permitted 28 points a day? Insane. Doesn't make me want it any less, though. I am not stupid enough to totally cut these treats out of my diet. It will only make me want them (and obsess about them with every waking thought!) that much more. I'll simply "plan" a treat now and again to reinforce the fact that I am in control and not the food.
. . . on the scale, that is. It very well may be a false-low but hey, it's motivating nonetheless. When I weighed-in last Friday I was 224. Ick. Although today is not my official weigh-in I stepped on the scale for a sneak-preview: 219. Five pounds in a week? Doubtful. I'll take it though. Makes me want to behave the rest of this week. I have cautioned myself that the Friday scale may not reflect the same number. That way if/when it is larger than today - but smaller than last week! - I am not disappointed.
Crazy things have been going through my head the last couple of days and I must put a voice to it: Food is not the enemy! All of my adulthood - in fact, most of my life - I have hated food. I mean, I love the taste and sometimes I binge just because something tastes good. Hell, I'll devour a container of ice cream to the point of sickness just because it is so darn yummy. Despite the love affair between my taste buds and meal times, I hate food. However, I need to make myself understand that food has not done this to my body. I have done this to my body. Food is not the enemy, lying in wait for a vulnerable moment to hit me. Food is simply sustenance. Why can I not get that? How I wish that I wanted to eat only to live. Instead I live to eat. Frankly, that's killing me. I have a bad day and I seek the comfort of food. I want to celebrate and where do I go? You guessed it - food. I have been in the middle of a binge - set off by an innocent little treat such as a Reese's PB Cup - and thought to myself, "I hate Mr. Reese for making these things!" How juvenile is that? I am the one shoving these sweet little confections into my mouth by the boat load and I blame some unknown person for coming up with a good recipe? My goodness, he didn't put those in my mouth.
I have learned that food control is definitely easier for some than others. There is a junk drawer in the kitchen at my office. This drawer is every trick-or-treater's dream come true. It is filled with at least ten different types of candy and the whole drawer is full. I have seen people go into the kitchen and get one mini candy bar. One. Uno. How in the world do people do that? Me . . . well, I'd be in that drawer face-first like a hillbilly at a pie eating contest. Another oddly displaced feeling: I hate that drawer! Way more than I hate Mr. Reese. Bad day? TOM has arrived? I have to avoid that entire room like the plague because I know that one teeny little candy bar will turn into half a bag. Lately I have been practicing a mantra: "Not worth the points, not worth the points." And it's not. 5 points for a couple of Reese's cups when I am only permitted 28 points a day? Insane. Doesn't make me want it any less, though. I am not stupid enough to totally cut these treats out of my diet. It will only make me want them (and obsess about them with every waking thought!) that much more. I'll simply "plan" a treat now and again to reinforce the fact that I am in control and not the food.