An article I wrote...

Steve

Steve

Member
Staff member
Was not sure where to put this, but here is an article I recently wrote and shared on a few fitness websites, but it applies to life in general. Not just your fitness pursuits. Enjoy.....

The Walk

Life is a walk of many steps. The beginning of the walk is birth. The opposite end is death. We are forced to walk straight ahead. We don’t have a choice of turning around and gaining “extra” ground. In the grand scheme of things, it is a very short journey from one end to the other.

You have a choice. You can either focus on where you are going or you can focus on how you are getting there. Far too many people focus on the destination rather than the journey. Life is about living, not looking. I don’t know about you, but I would rather play in the game than sit on the sidelines! Goals and aspirations are great. If all you do is dream about them, do you really expect to accomplish anything?

Life is what you make of it. Sadly, I think many people are so caught up in their daily schedules that they never take the time to do a little self-analysis. People spend more time laying their outfits out for tomorrow’s workday, making grocery lists, and watching television than they do thinking about their lives. When they become this tied up in following The Routine, the possibility of change becomes nonexistent. These individuals become detached from their subconscious minds, which is the mechanism that guides us through life.

Many of us become cattle and are herded in a multitude of directions by higher powers, have them be the need of finances, family and friends, lack of confidence or direction, fear, society, etc. The list is endless. There are so many vehicles that drive us to places that you don’t want to be in life. Sadly, many of us cave in to these higher powers and lose control of the steps that we take. When this happens we lose touch with the fact that we are in the driver’s seat. We create this delusional scenario where we have no choices in life. We are stuck in our present situation with no options. This is damnation in my opinion.

I, myself, was completely on autopilot a couple years back. I was out of control and never even knew it. I was not sad or upset with life. I was simply not controlling my destiny. I was turned onto some great mentors who asked simple questions like:

· Are you truly happy with your life?
· If you could change one thing, what would you change?
· What are you not doing that you should be doing?

There are a lot more. When I started asking myself these things I was shocked to realize the answers. I don’t know what surprised me more: the fact that I really wasn’t happy or the fact that I didn’t even realize it!

Ignorance is bliss is some cases, but I don’t believe this is one of them. Sure, if you continue down the same path being guided by outside forces, you don’t have to end up miserable. However, life is too short not to milk it for everything its got!

I believe that our thoughts are things. They create our realities. We become what we think about most. Think about the destination enough, you are soon going to end up with death staring you right in the eyes having never truly lived a full second along the way. Always waiting for something to happen is going to leave you with a big let down at the end of the day, that I promise you.

Do you pay attention to what you think about?

As short as the journey is, there are many steps we must take to get from one end to the other. The steps we take, though they must be forward, are within our control. This is the piece of the puzzle that many people lose sight of once life mutates into “the real world” and we become adults with busy schedules.

In the walk of life, pay attention to your steps. It is fine to trip and fall. Pick yourself up and start walking again. If you fall and stay down, life keeps on moving. It doesn’t stop and wait for you to ready yourself. I believe a large majority in our society is in the “down” position. There are not enough people walking.

Think about who you are and how you want to be remembered. Do you have goals? Are you actively pursuing them? What holds you back?

This philosophical walk that I speak of is comprised of millions of miles. Choose what you focus on. Think about what you think about. Life is the 6 inches that are in front of your face. Moving forward without paying attention to these inches is devastating. Opportunity is knocking on our doors every single day. The option to take advantage of the opportunity is up to you. It is not going to hand itself to you. It is there for the taking everywhere we turn.

What lies between now and then is up to you. What steps are you willing to take?
 
Thank you so much for sharing Steve!
That read was very moving....In a tiny way, I kinda needed to hear that!

Fantastic article for sure :) Great job!
 
Steve that was great.........and yeah...........thanks!!!
its good to hear that.... somtimes we all need a reality check!!!
life is what you make it!!!;)
STAR
 
Another piece I wrote along the same lines as the first one:

Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”

Focus. Focus on your true feelings, emotions, and beliefs. Be proactive instead of reactive. A life of reactions based on your surroundings is slavery IMO.

Paul Gaugin said, “I shut my eyes in order to see.”

At night, while I drift between consciousness and unconsciousness, is when I am closest to my mind and the things it says. It is the time where I can most easily see the truth about myself. Closing my eyes allows me to step away from all the business that clutters my life and my mind, and see my reality. It is a time where I am most happy, and a time when I am most scared. Happy because I realize that there is so much more left to life. So many things I am destined to do. Scared because of fear of failure. I see so many choices that I will have to make, many that are difficult. Will I be man enough to face up to these fears and move forward? When my eyes are closed, my mind shines while it haunts me.

Maori Proverb said, “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”

I truly believe that if I always let the light into my life, good things will come to me. To many of us are living in the shadows. We, ourselves, too commonly cast shadows over our realities of which hinder our progress. We carry huge loads that hover over us. These loads consist of our insecurities, our fears, our doubts, our regrets, our faults, and our misconceptions. What if we forgot about these things? What if they did not exist? What would you do differently? Would you enhance your life? Would you progress?

These loads we carry blind us of the reality that we can succeed. When you clear your views of all these hindrances, possibilities and dreams vanish and absolutes and realities are born. Move forward into the light.

David Searls said, “Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the Horizon as the end of the ocean.”

I say something along these lines probably too often in this forum. My journal title speaks it. But I think it always bears repeating. To live life for some end-cause is worthless. Life is too short. Don’t be someone that lives their entire life chasing some imagined “ultimate happiness.” You could find yourself with 99 years of unhappiness behind you and one shocking year of regret in front of you. The time to live is in the moment.

Albert Einstein said, “The world we have created is a product of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Have truer words ever been spoken? There have been times in my life where my mind has completely controlled me. Other times where it has guided me. Control, IMO, is bad. Guidance is good. I have no say in control. With guidance, hopefully I did some initial input with self-talk that swayed the direction my mind guided me toward. You are the operator of this marvelous computer called your subconscious, only if you choose to be.

Until you make the choice to take control, what you see as reality will always be a by-product of your surroundings. If the choice is made however, it will be like the light from one hundred suns illuminated your path. It will feel as if once, you were blind, now you can see. Your thoughts will become your realities.

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.”

I know many that say, “But I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know who I really am. I don’t have a passion to chase.” This thought process drives them into a frantic search to find “themselves.” All the while, life is passing them by. Stop. Searching is pointless. You will not figure out what you are supposed to do until you truly connect with your inner-self, your mind. There is nothing to find. What you are searching for is already contained inside of you. To know that you do not know is sometimes good. At least you have something to progress toward. To pretend to know, when you really do not, is disease. False hope and realities will lead to let downs. Kristin Zambucka was not lying when she said, “Turn your gaze inward. Correct yourself and your world will change.”


Jim Morrison said, “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

Are you free? Just because you are not bound by someone else’s hand, does that make you free? I would rather know my true self and be bound by another, than to go through life with the ability to do anything, and never act or take advantage. To be a stranger to myself and never even realize it would be my ultimate disappointment.

All these words I have written, you would think that I have my life figured out. I DO see the light. But that does not mean that no work is to be done to get to where I want to be. If anything, the more clearly the light shines, the more work that is exposed. Seeing and believing that your wants can be obtained is a very important step. But, there are so many more steps. Each one will be accompanied by fear. Fear of the unknown. Every single step that I know I must take, cannot be taken, until I battle my fears along the way at every single stride.

There have been numerous times, and I am sure there will be more, when I have caught myself standing still. I was immobilized by my fear without even thinking. You see, just because you don’t see or recognize your fears, that does not make them disappear. Consciously, you may block them. Subconsciously, they will always be there based on your belief system. If you don’t give them the respect they deserve, you could find yourself standing still for a very long time. Stagnation is imprisonment. E.E. Cummings had it figured out when he said, “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “It is easy to live for others. Everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

My last rational thought of the day is based on this quote. And yes, all remaining thoughts will be irrational since I will be sitting at a desk in an office for a job that I hate.

It is the part that I haven’t quite figured out in my own life, and therefore one of my biggest challenges. The burden that I carry on my shoulders so that others will not feel the weight really hinders my progress in life. What I am finding, which I am sure some of you know, is that you can’t truly please others until you have thoroughly pleased yourself. I am not where I want to be in life currently, not because I am lazy or stupid. I am off track because I spent my life trying to make others happy. I thought if I was the guy that brought happiness to others, then, I too, would ultimately be happy. If I made others proud, then I would feel accomplished.

In reality, other’s happiness and pride is dependent on their own beliefs and realizations. These beliefs and realizations have nothing to do with my own. I am left standing with a lot of happy people around me, feeling completely alone and failed. As these feelings progress, and I learned that they surely would, my own beliefs and actions began to change for the worst. I found myself on a slippery slope trying to create my new happiness in a world, which I created for myself, that opposes all that I truly want.

Life isn’t about them. Life, and I mean really living, not just breathing, is about YOU. If you can find your true happiness, then you can really please the people who matter most in your life. If you aren’t true to yourself, your happiness, and all the happiness that you provide to those around you is based on smoke and mirrors.
 
Maori Proverb said, “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”
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I've used that as my personal quote for the longest time...

nice share... :D

and not really off topic -- it needs a new home
 
Steve, awesome articles - a lot of 'food for thought' in them. And I especially like the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote; it's one of my biggest obstacles in life right now.
 
I know not everyone reads my journal. I don't expect them to. However, sometimes I have thoughts that I DO want to share with everyone. I don't care if they reach one person, or if they reach 100 people.

I posted this in my journal today. And because I know not everyone reads my journal, I thought I would put it here too, in my thread of miscellaneous, long-winded thoughts of my own.

The post was pertaining to the thoughts I have had since the death of a good friend of mine last week.

The post is below.
 
Last week, I lost one of my best friends. Jared was killed in a car accident last Tuesday at the age of 26. Some would say Jared died far too young. I would argue, life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but rather, it is measured by the moments that take our breath away. This may seem cliché, but it is very true in my opinion.

Some can live to an old age, and never truly live a day in their lives. Some can die at the age of 26, and live every single day to its fullest. They suck life from what they have in front of them. In a nutshell, life is what you make of it. You can sit around and wait for good things to come to you or you can go and take what you want and deserve.

I speak with a lot of people. I like to figure out what makes them tick. By no means am I an expert on the subject of human behavior. Simply, I just like to think about what I see. Conclusions are derived from my observations and interactions. These conclusions may not be right. They may not be wrong. But it is my judgment based on the empirical evidence that has been presented to me in my life, thus far. Ultimately, the people who I’ve let into my life have shaped my perspectives.

Everyone wants to be happy, right? I mean, I haven’t met anyone who said, “It is my goal to be miserable for the rest of my life.” That said, this idea of happiness must be pretty darned important if we all want it. So how do we get it? Is it ultimately linked to achievement? Is it a state of mind? If so, can we be happy no matter what the circumstance? Is it a trait, some people being prone to happiness and others to the opposite? More importantly, how does this tie into Jared’s death and my point?

I used to envy people. Not necessarily the people I know personally. I would envy the people who achieved “greatness.” You know the people. Famous movie stars and singers. Professional athletes. CEOs of fortune 500 companies. I would envy them so much that I would discredit their successes.

“He became a movie star by catching a lucky break.” “This bodybuilder created an awing physique because he took steroids. I could look like him too if I chose that route.” “He became CEO by kissing ass his entire life, no thanks, that is not for me.”

I used to envy these people because I thought they were ultimately happy. Not only did I want happiness. I also wanted to be great. I wanted people to respect me. Maybe I even wanted people to envy me. Eventually, I removed my blinders and realized that while these people were certainly wealthy and respected, they were not all, ultimately happy. They too, faced challenges on a daily basis.

More importantly, I eventually realized that my definition of “greatness” was way off base. Greatness is not measured by how others view you. Instead, greatness is completely personal and individual. By my old standards, in order to be great, you would have to have money, be a standout, and be recognized. Through the maturation process coupled with my interactions with many amazing people, I learned that greatness has nothing to do with these things. Instead, greatness is all about how you live. It is about the choices you make. It is about how you handle yourself when you are knocked down. Greatness is not an adjective that is placed over you once you reach a certain point in your life. It is rather, a way of life. A way to be, each and every day.

Jared was one of those people who helped me realize these things. Sure, he died young. But Jared was great. And Jared was happy. There is something in common with most of the people I hold close to my heart, Jared being one of them. Obviously, none of them are famous. None of them are really wealthy either. But they are all “great” by my personal definition.

What makes them great?

Take Jared for instance. As I was walking through the line waiting to say my goodbyes at his funeral, I looked at all the pictures of Jared. I thought about all the good times I shared with him. I looked around and saw how many people he touched. The line to the casket was a good distance. I would approximate the length of a football field. It stretched from the casket, out the door of the church, across the lobby, all the way across the large parking lot. The line developed at 9:00 A.M. At 12:30 P.M., there was no sign of the line shrinking. Finally, the preacher had to ask the family to sit down, and cut the line off. The service was about to begin and there were 3 people for every 1 seat available.

Jared was great alright. As I thought about him, I had such a hard time remembering a time when Jared DIDN’T have a smile on his face. Not one of those fake smiles either. He smiled because he couldn’t contain his happiness. If we were fishing, he was happy. Even if it were cold outside, and the rain started falling. Jared would be happy. And it radiated from him. Happiness is definitely contagious. Because when I was in his company, I always felt happy. I also think happiness begets more happiness in most circumstances. Whatever Jared was doing, he found a way to be happy.

People like him led me to believe that happiness is not brought on by what you are currently doing. Rather, it is brought on by how YOU feel about where you’ve been and where you are heading. It is brought on by who you’ve met and who you have yet to meet. It is brought on by the memories of your past and the possibilities of the future.

Happiness is about believing. Believing in yourself and not letting your mistakes, flaws, and challenges stop you from progressing.

You see, many people think I am happy. They look at my life, the things I have accomplished, the way I act…. and they think I am happy. The truth is, I battle personally, to find happiness in life.

The biggest thing I have learned from people like Jared is this: Life is full of happiness. It is also full of unhappiness. Life is beautiful. Life is also ugly. There are and always will be good times. At the same time, there will always be bad ones.

The bad things will always be there, no matter how much you achieve in your life. I don’t care if you are working your way up or if you are at your pinnacle. The nature of life dictates that evil will always accompany good.

This said, it should be expected that we will ALL get knocked down. It is up to you to decide if and how you will get back up. Being knocked down is a whole lot different than being knocked out. Jared would say, “Being knocked out will only happen when my heart stops beating.” If he were knocked down by life, he would ALWAYS get up with haste and heart, and push on.

Others though, feel they are knocked out now, even though their hearts are pumping away.

What differentiates people like this from people like Jared? I think it all comes down to focus. I don’t want this to be a motivational, peppy, self-help article. Those who know me are aware of the fact that I am a fan of positive thinking. I believe that gaining control of your self-talk plays a major role in your ultimate success in life.

People like Jared, either by nature or by practice, focus on the good. When life knocks them down, they don’t focus on how hard or violently they were knocked down. Doing so would only lead to stagnation. Instead, they regain their composure, and focus on where they were heading before they were knocked down. When someone dies, they don’t think how tragic their death is. Rather, they remember how awesome their life was. When it rains, they don’t get depressed. They say, “At least it isn’t pouring, and the sun will surely shine tomorrow.”

On the flipside, when things are good, they don’t worry about the good times ending. They embrace the time. I know a lot of people who ruin the momentum of goodness by worrying about the imminent bad that is ever-looming in all of our lives. Even during the good times, it all comes down to how and where you place your focus.

That is the finality of the subject at hand. Happiness. Greatness. At least in my eyes, these things are determined by how you handle yourself during both, the good and bad times.

I come to this point of writing this, and I ask myself, “What is my point?” I didn’t really intend on writing a lot. I didn’t start writing this with a purpose. I just had thoughts, a lot of them, floating around my head and I wanted to get them down on paper. Whenever you experience a tragic loss, I think you take something away from it. Maybe it is a lesson. Or, maybe it is amazing memories. Whatever the case may be, I think it is a good to take something away from losing a loved one.

In this case, what I took away was the simple thought that happiness is a way of life. A way of being. It is easy to get overwhelmed with all the negatives that float around on any given day. I think these negatives are what hinder most of us from ever reaching happiness on a consistent basis. It is probably also what keeps us from reaching our full potential.

I think chronic happiness and greatness come hand in hand. Once you find a way to be happy with your life, the decisions you have made, and what you are doing to get to where you are going…. I think you will find your personal greatness. And that greatness will be seen from outsiders looking in.

It is up to you to figure out what you want. I know what I want, and I am going to work my ass off to get it. I am not going to plan for failure. I am, though, going to keep in mind that I will fail. I will have setbacks. I will get knocked down. I cannot allow acute mishaps to rock my world to its core completely throwing me off track. I want chronic happiness. I know what it takes to have it, and Jared’s death has helped me see it.

I wish you all the best. I hope you find your happiness, more than you know. We all deserve it.
 
Beautiful. Steve, how old are you? The age that your avatar suggests does not match the age your wisdom demands. I am not just basing this on this one post, but on all the things I have read of yours. It is mind boggling.
 
Thanks very much Tiffany. That is an awesome compliment that I will surely take to heart. :)

I am 25.
 
Steve said:
I used to envy these people because I thought they were ultimately happy. Not only did I want happiness. I also wanted to be great. I wanted people to respect me. Maybe I even wanted people to envy me. Eventually, I removed my blinders and realized that while these people were certainly wealthy and respected, they were not all, ultimately happy. They too, faced challenges on a daily basis.
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Steve... I loved this! Thank you. I have often thought of this myself. I have had the privilege of getting to know some successful people and that same envy came over me until I really got to know them. I don't want their challenges. I know that the challenges I face are to make me stronger and can turn my weaknesses into personal victories. If I had what someone else had, I wouldn't be who I AM!

Thanks for your thoughts!!!
 
Oh... and I wanted to say that I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I know what that feels like. I'm sure many people here do as well. I also know that all the words of condolences don't make YOU feel any better. I have had my greatest reflections and inspiration in my times of contemplating the loss of those closest to me.
 
Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of it all. I mean, I lose sight of what I've got going for me all the time. I forget about everything I've overcome in my life. All the trials and tribulations I've bust through. I think we all lose this sight. It's like the bad stuff far outweighs the good stuff, regardless of the fact that there may be a whole lot more good stuff. The bad stuff is what sticks. It's what lasts in our memories. And it's what we tend to think about most often.

What's my point?

My point is, life has been far from a walk in the park for most of us, yet, here we are striving to build on our successes one day at a time. I think there's a bunch of people on this forum that would think right now, "I'm not successful yet but I will be." For starters, it's great that they're motivated to succeed. But as we know, perception is a powerful thing and I think it's important to feel successful now and build upon it.

If you don't feel successful, you better get out a different ruler to measure success.

I know I need that reminder sometimes, and figured I'd give it to you today, even if you didn't need it.

Don't let others determine what is and is not success. Live by your own rules and standards. Walk this path for YOU. And don't let the inevitable negativity grip you too tight. It's important to cut through it every now and again to see reality.

Reality being the fact that there's a lot more good in your world than bad. You just have to find it and focus on it.

I also wanted to bump this thread for those who may not have read it yet. We've got a constant flux of new members coming in here.

Best to you all.
 
Raina said:
Oh... and I wanted to say that I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I know what that feels like. I'm sure many people here do as well. I also know that all the words of condolences don't make YOU feel any better. I have had my greatest reflections and inspiration in my times of contemplating the loss of those closest to me.
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Wow.

I just realized that I totally missed your posts in this thread. Very sorry.... don't know how that happened. While ago, but......

Thanks for the kind words. :)
 
I was just asked by a local gym if the first article in this thread can be used in their member magazine.

This is good. :)

They also said they are contemplating the idea of me writing for it on an on-going basis. They are hesitant since I'm not a trainer there.
 
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